Charlie Bilodeau retires from competitive skating

[4everchan]

Well, I doubt they had to read about it in the press to find out they were single. BTW, how did your partners react when you "Dumped" them. Trust me, if I had been dumped by my BF and found out at the same as the rest of my family and friends, I would have been devastated. We are now PAGES into this incident and you can see by the comments that this issue is huge. Athletes train their entire careers for the chance to make it to the Olympics and he derailed, if not completely ended her chance to make her dream come true.

i see it the other way around

charlie got her out of retirement... she was a circus athlete... which career would be gone by now thanks to covid... le cirque du soleil is not even sure it will ever come back out of this tragedy... (i have friends in it and the situation is a disaster)

if lubov wants to skate to make the next olympics, she can try to get another partner, which SHE HAD NOT DONE after it was over with Dylan.
Lubov was NEVER going to make it to the olympics the way Charlie and she skated at 4CC....

in some ways, he's freed her from skating with someone who is no longer into it.

YES : it's hard to find a new partner. I agree... but RIchard loves Lubov and could probably find someone... Mark Bardei? Look at Stellato... she is still skating... I believe that Lubov is not done with skating.. she will find a way or another to continue her own unique way of using her body on the ice. I am a huge fan of hers, I never even cared for Charlie... but i find that people here are shooting the obvious target without having perspective

 

[4everchan]

That's disingenuous at best. Not only are football players easily replaced, but they are one of seventeen on game day - losing one player has less of an impact on the team. But a pair is just that - a pair, only two members. And male pairs skaters are in shortage. Charlie's decision impacts Lubov's career possibly to the point of no return. And he couldn't even have the decency to let her know earlier than the night before. He led her up the garden path then slammed the gate in her face.



Oh, bulldust. He dumped his previous partner unceremoniously because he felt she was holding him back from getting an Olympic medal. Lubov had every reason to believe that this was a 3 year deal to go through to the Olympics. That was how it was pitched to her. And then the second it gets difficult and he realises he probably won't get that Olympic medal? He quits. And doesn't even have the decency to give her more notice.

1) athletes, on a team of 2 or 12 doesn't make a difference to me... everyone has a role to play.. if a goalie retires in hockey or a quarterback in football.. same thing.... also, even in amateur track and field or whatever, the national federations invest on athletes a lot... and any retirement is something they need to go through....

2) previous partner was dumped because he felt she was no longer committed... which I mean, the fact that she didn't come back to the sport sort of says she was done... i do not blame her.. she's had so many concussions...
so now, with his knees and history, he knows from experience how bad it is to skate with a partner not fully committed and he doesn't want that for lubov so he calls it quit... i don't see a problem with that...

if you all care only because she found out one day before... oh well.. she knew... the fact that it made the news so quickly is not ideal but it doesn't change the situation...

 

[okokok1777]

if you all care only because she found out one day before... oh well.. she knew... the fact that it made the news so quickly is not ideal but it doesn't change the situation...

This was a huge issue for me. The fact that he was already writing a press release to announce his retirement before telling his partner about the retirement is a huge no-no. To then inform her of that decision and give her ~1 day to process the information before the release of said article is also a huge problem.

I have no problem with Charlie deciding to step away from skating. His heart wasn't in it anymore and he did what was best for his mental health and overall well-being. But he chose to announce his decision in an incredibly insensitive way.

At the very least, he should've told her & his coaches about his decision and given them a week or two to process the information before the public announcement. He especially should've told them before he told reporters/started working on the press release.

By the sounds of it, he seriously started to consider retirement at 4CC. He had a couple of months to process the information about retirement before sharing it with the public - and he gave Luba ~1 day to process the information that she no longer has a partner during a time period where tryouts are virtually impossible.

 

[4everchan]

This was a huge issue for me. The fact that he was already writing a press release to announce his retirement before telling his partner about the retirement is a huge no-no. To then inform her of that decision and give her ~1 day to process the information before the release of said article is also a huge problem.

I have no problem with Charlie deciding to step away from skating. His heart wasn't in it anymore and he did what was best for his mental health and overall well-being. But he chose to announce his decision in an incredibly insensitive way.

At the very least, he should've told her & his coaches about his decision and given them a week or two to process the information before the public announcement. He especially should've told them before he told reporters/started working on the press release.

By the sounds of it, he seriously started to consider retirement at 4CC. He had a couple of months to process the information about retirement before sharing it with the public - and he gave Luba ~1 day to process the information that she no longer has a partner during a time period where tryouts are virtually impossible.

i understand this point of view very much... it's something many posters share.. but you are treating it in a very specific human angle... skating is not just about human relationship... for many it is a business, a career... and that part of it is what comes through from a guy like Charlie. Coaching changes happen all the time with not a lot of pre-notice... it's the same here. His decision is made and he doesn't want to discuss his feelings or be cheered up or be sent back to a world of confusing thoughts...

on top of that, everyone is minimizing how hard it must have been for him, who had huge olympic aspirations, to let go of the sport.

that's why i am saying : who are we to judge? let's not demonize skaters... we are here to cheer on them... i very much dislike when people assign evil behaviours to humans they don't even know.... that's where a lot of problems come from

 

[okokok1777]

i understand this point of view very much... it's something many posters share.. but you are treating it in a very specific human angle... skating is not just about human relationship... for many it is a business, a career... and that part of it is what comes through from a guy like Charlie. Coaching changes happen all the time with not a lot of pre-notice... it's the same here. His decision is made and he doesn't want to discuss his feelings or be cheered up or be sent back to a world of confusing thoughts...

on top of that, everyone is minimizing how hard it must have been for him, who had huge olympic aspirations, to let go of the sport.

that's why i am saying : who are we to judge? let's not demonize skaters... we are here to cheer on them... i very much dislike when people assign evil behaviours to humans they don't even know.... that's where a lot of problems come from

1) IDK - that mentality really reads as "he chose to announce his decision in the way that made him most comfortable even though that would hurt his partner the most over the alternatives". He could've told his partner & coach about his decision, explained that it was final and given them a week or so before announcing it publicly via social media and the press. He didn't need to "discuss his feelings" or listen to people try to "cheer him up" - he could just politely tell them that his decision is final. Skating partnerships are a special kind of business partnerships - and, IMO, plenty of people have ended their partnerships with more respect for their partner's feelings than Charlie did with Julianne & Luba.

2) I'm not diminishing the difficulty of the decision. TBH I'm glad that he prioritized his health & well-being and decided to step away from skating when he realized his heart wasn't in it. His partner was going to be in a difficult position regardless - why make it even harder for her by announcing it this way? The difficult position that he was in and choice he made vs. the way he treated his partner can be discussed without one dismissing the other.

3) Personally, I'm just analyzing the specific situation & his actions. I don't know if he's a "good" or "bad" person (in most cases, I have issues with those types of labels anyways). He had a choice about how to announce his decision to his team & the world - IMO he went with one of the most insensitive options.

 

[4everchan]

there are very few sensitive people in life. it's easier said than done for people who do not have a public life. how many of you have lost a job or a partner without much prior notice? i bet it's many.... if not, they wouldn't make movies about guys breaking up by SMS or on a post-it.

Sorry but, i am not among the ones who feel they can make such a judgment about people sensitive behaviour or not... without knowing them or the full story.

 

[el henry]

I guess I’m just a heartless no-goodnik, and I never really cared about either of them one way or the other, so I have no investment, but....

No way in Hades should this be a joint decision. If Charlie doesn’t want to skate, he doesn’t skate. Period. Do you want someone who clearly done and over and wants out to catch a real live human being twisting in the air? To throw her onto the ice? To hold her over his head while he is skating along at some speed? I sure don’t. Good for Charlie that he figured out. And acted on it.

Being dumped hurts. One day, one week, one month, it still hurts. Sure, it would have been nice to have a little more notice. But he’s done, and there’s nothing to talk about, and what is telling her one day, one week, or one month going to do to make it hurt less?

I’m really not getting it

 

[Osmond4gold]

honestly, if people are starting to call him a jerk, this thread should be closed down. that's just not fair and not appropriate behaviour for GS.

I have been calling him a jerk for a few years now on this site and elsewhere, not because of his personalty but his actions and his inability to properly communicate have resulted in situations that are less than honourable and career ending for some. Nothing new here just more of the same.

 

[Tavi...]

I guess I’m just a heartless no-goodnik, and I never really cared about either of them one way or the other, so I have no investment, but....

No way in Hades should this be a joint decision. If Charlie doesn’t want to skate, he doesn’t skate. Period. Do you want someone who clearly done and over and wants out to catch a real live human being twisting in the air? To throw her onto the ice? To hold her over his head while he is skating along at some speed? I sure don’t. Good for Charlie that he figured out. And acted on it.

Being dumped hurts. One day, one week, one month, it still hurts. Sure, it would have been nice to have a little more notice. But he’s done, and there’s nothing to talk about, and what is telling her one day, one week, or one month going to do to make it hurt less?

I’m really not getting it

I don’t hear most people here saying this should have been a joint decision or that he had no right to make the decision.

I do hear a lot of people say they didn’t like the way he handled it or something similar. And I believe 4EverChan thinks people shouldn’t be judging his behavior here because we don’t really know him. I happen to disagree.

When you put yourself out in the public sphere - as Charlie Bilodeau very purposefully did regarding his decision to quit - you give up the right to control what others think of you - or at least, what they think of that part of yourself you’ve made public. I don’t think anyone owes him a duty to refrain from criticism. I don’t think people need to give him the benefit of the doubt (unless, of course, they want to).

I personally think he comes across as self-centered and narcissistic in his statements. Sue me.

 

[el henry]

I don’t hear most people here saying this should have been a joint decision or that he had no right to make the decision.

I do hear a lot of people say they didn’t like the way he handled it or something similar. And I believe 4EverChan thinks people shouldn’t be judging his behavior here because we don’t really know him. I happen to disagree.

When you put yourself out in the public sphere - as Charlie Bilodeau very purposefully did regarding his decision to quit - you give up the right to control what others think of you - or at least, what they think of that part of yourself you’ve made public. I don’t think anyone owes him a duty to refrain from criticism. I don’t think people need to give him the benefit of the doubt (unless, of course, they want to).

I personally think he comes across as self-centered and narcissistic in his statements. Sue me.

I know better than to sue you

I am not saying that Charlie acted with the greatest of maturity, but I am saying that I don't think this split was the handled the worst way possible either (after all, Lubov could truly have learned from the newspaper ) In a way, I am impressed by his honesty. We could have had yet another "JoeSkater and I have decided to go in different directions, I have learned so much from the partnership and I will always treasure our pewter medal at the Anytown AllPairs Championships". Instead, we got the real deal.

And he certainly got us talking

 

[Tavi...]

I know better than to sue you

I am not saying that Charlie acted with the greatest of maturity, but I am saying that I don't think this split was the handled the worst way possible either (after all, Lubov could truly have learned from the newspaper ) In a way, I am impressed by his honesty. We could have had yet another "JoeSkater and I have decided to go in different directions, I have learned so much from the partnership and I will always treasure our pewter medal at the Anytown AllPairs Championships". Instead, we got the real deal.

And he certainly got us talking

Huh. Well I can’t honestly say I found the melodramatic chronicle of his inner journey from prisoner of skating to free man - in excruciating detail and complete with multiple references to his psychologist - to be particularly compelling. The guilt he expresses towards those he’s hurt along the way reminds me of nothing so much as Pinkerton crying remorsefully over the death of Butterfly: In the end, it’s still all about him. :dev2:

 

[ice coverage]

... Being dumped hurts. One day, one week, one month, it still hurts. Sure, it would have been nice to have a little more notice. But he’s done, and there’s nothing to talk about, and what is telling her one day, one week, or one month going to do to make it hurt less? ...

Speaking for myself: When I unexpectedly have been faced with a major loss that hurts, there *is* a difference in the pain one day later vs. one week later (vs. one month later). Day by day, it gradually starts to become more tolerable to accept what the "new normal" is.

If Skater X's retirement is a shock to Partner Y, then I think that giving Y a week or two to begin to wrap her/his head around the news is the least that X could do before going public.

To me, the question is: Given that X is retiring, what difference does it make to X to wait one day vs. one week (or more) to go public after telling Y?? It's not as if X needs to rush forward with finding a new partner.

Especially in the specific case of Charlie and the restrictions of the pandemic, I am dubious that one day vs. one week (or more) made a difference in his pursuit of any opportunities outside of skating either. So why not wait longer?

 

[Harriet]

To me, the question is: Given that X is retiring, what difference does it make to X to wait one day vs. one week (or more) to go public after telling Y??

Some people prefer to rip off the Band-Aid and get the pain over with (they hope) quickly. For others, it can be a way to seal and confirm the decision. For some it's a way to make it real: they don't truly feel that it's happened until they've said it and others have heard and acknowledged it. Etc.

None of those reasons make doing it that way any politer to the partner, but they're all valid enough choices in isolation.

 

[mrrice]

I know I keep talking about the timing of this event that upsets me and it still does. A decent male pair skater is not an easy thing to come by. Who knows, if she had known earlier, she might have been able to snag Brandon before he went Alexa (though I doubt it) I never skated pairs but, are there any mid tier singles men that might switch to pairs knowing that a talented lady is out there partner less?

With the quarantine affecting the season, is there a chance she can still find a partner and get into regionals to qualify for next season? I never skated partners but, are their any singles men who would switch to pairs to get a good partner knowing they'd have better chance to make the team in pairs rather then singles. There are several men outside the top 8 who can jump as well as the top men in pairs.

 

[ice coverage]

Some people prefer to rip off the Band-Aid and get the pain over with (they hope) quickly. For others, it can be a way to seal and confirm the decision. For some it's a way to make it real: they don't truly feel that it's happened until they've said it and others have heard and acknowledged it. Etc.

None of those reasons make doing it that way any politer to the partner, but they're all valid enough choices in isolation.

Lubov also is under the stress of isolation ... potentially making Charlie's abrupt ending of the partnership feel like an even bigger punch in the gut for her.

With or without isolation, is it a "valid" choice for Charlie to not avoid rubbing salt into Lubov's wound?
Not waiting longer to go to the media is not a "valid" choice in my estimation.

---

.... what if he skyped Lubov, and she started to cry and then he may have said " okokok... let's see what happens after confinement is over...." etc.... or same with Julianne... what if she had said 'you are wrong, i am fully committed and into this.. give me a chance to prove it to you"...

... i dislike how people assign a bunch of feelings and intentions to athletes they have never met based on what? the tiny bits we see in the media? plesae

If you dislike "assigning feelings and intentions," why is it OK for you to assign them to Lubov and Julianne?

 

[4everchan]

I know I keep talking about the timing of this event that upsets me and it still does. A decent male pair skater is not an easy thing to come by. Who knows, if she had known earlier, she might have been able to snag Brandon before he went Alexa (though I doubt it) I never skated pairs but, are there any mid tier singles men that might switch to pairs knowing that a talented lady is out there partner less?

With the quarantine affecting the season, is there a chance she can still find a partner and get into regionals to qualify for next season? I never skated partners but, are their any singles men who would switch to pairs to get a good partner knowing they'd have better chance to make the team in pairs rather then singles. There are several men outside the top 8 who can jump as well as the top men in pairs.

again, charlie sent his letter to the media... maybe he didn't expect it to be published right away...

and again, just in Canada, Justine and Mark, 4th at nationals, split up... maybe Mark is back to Europe but if he still wants to skate for Canada, he'd be a good partner for Lubov. Great skating skills, beautiful lines, Russian technique which would be food for Lubov... who knows.. it might end up being a good thing.

 

[Harriet]

Lubov also is under the stress of isolation ... potentially making Charlie's abrupt ending of the partnership feel like an even bigger punch in the gut for her.

With or without isolation, is it a "valid" choice for Charlie to not avoid rubbing salt into Lubov's wound?

By "in isolation" I meant "in and of themselves", not "during a period in which people are practising self-isolation in response to COVID-19".

 

[ice coverage]

By "in isolation" I meant "in and of themselves", not "during a period in which people are practising self-isolation in response to COVID-19".

Sincere thanks for the clarification.

It does not change my dismay that Charlie informed Lubov of a decision that he knew would be upsetting for her ... and then did not avoid rubbing salt into the wound.

(I agree with others that his decision to retire is not the issue. The issue is not caring about exacerbating a painful situation for Lubov.)

 

[TallyT]

If you dislike "assigning feelings and intentions," why is it OK for you to assign them to Lubov and Julianne?

Or to Bilodeau for that matter...

again, charlie sent his letter to the media... maybe he didn't expect it to be published right away... .

The side-eyeing he has received is mainly for his actions towards his partners, which are there for all to see. I just hope he doesn't as time goes on think he's made another mistake and want back in, because getting any new partner to trust him would be a hell of a job...

Anyway, best to Lubov and if she shakes the competitive ice off her skates and gets back her previous job, I will be sorry for us but cheering for her.

 

[4everchan]

cirque du soleil is no longer running... so there is no previous job for lubov... at least for now... as i mentioned, the company is struggling heavily and may not recover from covid19