Kaitlin Hawayek on IG: It is not your place to discuss a skater's body

[el henry]

Kaitlin shares the story of a spectator who told her at Skate America that "she needed to lose a lot of weight".

Kaitlin tells us, as fans, spectators, judges, coaches "It is not your place to discuss a skater's body or weight". Kaitlin talks about how she struggled with eating disorder

Kaitlin's measured and calm, yet passionate, statement, is well worth every fan's attention.

Bravo, Kaitlin, for sharing your story!

 

[el henry]

Amber Glenn commented on this story also. As Kaitlin says, telling a skater how good they look because they have lost weight can be just as harmful as telling them they need to lose weight.

 

[ucrgirl]

Amber Glenn commented on this story also. As Kaitlin says, telling a skater how good they look because they have lost weight can be just as harmful as telling them they need to lose weight.

Amber is absolutely correct.

 

[moonvine]

Kaitlin shares the story of a spectator who told her at Skate America that "she needed to lose a lot of weight".

Kaitlin tells us, as fans, spectators, judges, coaches "It is not your place to discuss a skater's body or weight". Kaitlin talks about she struggled with eating disorder

Kaitlin's measured and calm, yet passionate, statement, is well worth every fan's attention.

Bravo, Kaitlin, for sharing your story!

Some one better start collecting bail money because if I hear anyone making those sort of comments to my beautiful Kaitlyn or any other skater I will snatch them bald headed.

And as a non skater with an ED “you look great - have you lost weight?” is bad too. That is suggesting a person looked bad before. “You look great! I love your shoes, purse, outfit, smile”…is appropriate

 

[ladyjane]

Thank you Kaitlin and also thank you Amber. I have always thought these girls/women are beautiful as they are, but I know how easy it is to make comments about bodies (I've done it myself sometimes with no intention to harm anybody. Not that I told someone to lose weight, that is really gross). Both ways (positive and negative) can trigger the wrong behaviour (eating disorders, thinking something is wrong with you). Good way to present this Kaitlin!

 

[surimi]

Well done for Kaitlin and Amber. The entitlement of some people to make judgements (right in the skaters' faces!) is staggering.
All of these body comments are creepy, rude, and no stranger's business.

That said, I'll reitearate an opinion which seems to be unpopular here: Anyone who thinks saying the opposite is okay and 'just concern' ('wow, you look skinny, are you well?'), please think twice before voicing that. Once a stranger comments on someone's body type, it is rude and inappropriate, and it doesn't matter which type it is.

 

[el henry]

Well done for Kaitlin and Amber. The entitlement of some people to make judgements (right in the skaters' faces!) is staggering.
All of these body comments are creepy, rude, and no stranger's business.

That said, I'll reitearate an opinion which seems to be unpopular here: Anyone who thinks saying the opposite is okay and 'just concern' ('wow, you look skinny, are you well?'), please think twice before voicing that. Once a stranger comments on someone's body type, it is rude and inappropriate, and it doesn't matter which type it is.

Kaitlin makes the point in her video that both comments are inappropriate.

She specifically says, you don't know if someone who are you are "complimenting" for losing weight or being "slender" may have an eating disorder.

I would not consider that an unpopular opinion. No skating fan, should comment directly on weight or body type.

Kaitlin however makes the equally important point: No *coach*, no *judge*, should comment on a skater's body or weight.

The entire community needs to do better.

 

[demarinis5]

Thank you for sharing el henry. What is wrong with people now days thinking it is their right to speak
this way to anyone. Shameful behavior is becoming more and more frequent and needs to be called out and I
am glad Kaitlin made this video and that Amber spoke out . What an awful experience for both Kaitlin and Amber.

 

[Weathergal]

Kaitlin shares the story of a spectator who told her at Skate America that "she needed to lose a lot of weight".

Kaitlin tells us, as fans, spectators, judges, coaches "It is not your place to discuss a skater's body or weight". Kaitlin talks about how she struggled with eating disorder

Kaitlin's measured and calm, yet passionate, statement, is well worth every fan's attention.

Bravo, Kaitlin, for sharing your story!

It sickens me that this person treated Kaitlin that way. Props to her for getting the message out, even though it didn't seem easy for her. She clearly wants to help others. ((Kaitlin)) You ARE enough, and you're beautiful.

 

[Ic3Rabbit]

Kaitlin shares the story of a spectator who told her at Skate America that "she needed to lose a lot of weight".

Kaitlin tells us, as fans, spectators, judges, coaches "It is not your place to discuss a skater's body or weight". Kaitlin talks about how she struggled with eating disorder

Kaitlin's measured and calm, yet passionate, statement, is well worth every fan's attention.

Bravo, Kaitlin, for sharing your story!

I just want to correct one thing here. Kaitlyn stated IIRC that she had some thoughts in the past that could have led her down the road to an eating disorder, but thankfully they went away and did not.

No that doesn't make things better here because no one should be telling anyone what to look like, etc. But I just wanted to correct that point that unlike Amber, Gracie and so many others it thankfully did not lead to an ED for Hawayek.

People make me so angry and no one should be behaving in this way at all ever.

 

[Sai Bon]

Well done, Kaitlin, for speaking up. Shame on the person who went around telling athletes that they are too big. Something very weird going on in that person's head...

 

[ManyCairns]

I just want to correct one thing here. Kaitlyn stated IIRC that she had some thoughts in the past that could have led her down the road to an eating disorder, but thankfully they went away and did not.

No that doesn't make things better here because no one should be telling anyone what to look like, etc. But I just wanted to correct that point that unlike Amber, Gracie and so many others it thankfully did not lead to an ED for Hawayek.

People make me so angry and no one should be behaving in this way at all ever.

Quoting from Kaitlin's video: "... As a young athlete I didn't have the knowledge that I do now to know how to deal with those comments in a healthy way, and it led to many years of many different ends of the spectrum of an eating disorder. And that's something that, although the eating disorder behaviors have left me, there are still so many things that carry along with athletes post having an eating disorder ... "

That sounds like a pretty clear statement that she did struggle with an ED. Regardless, what an important and articulate message she shared! Such an impressive woman, person, athlete to highlight these ongoing situations/comments/unhealthy environments that athletes are often subjected to. I just can't even - for someone to ask for a photo, then say such a cruel, stupid thing under the guise of a well-intended "secret." Enraging.

 

[surimi]

Kaitlin makes the point in her video that both comments are inappropriate.

She specifically says, you don't know if someone who are you are "complimenting" for losing weight or being "slender" may have an eating disorder.

I would not consider that an unpopular opinion. No skating fan, should comment directly on weight or body type.

Kaitlin however makes the equally important point: No *coach*, no *judge*, should comment on a skater's body or weight.

The entire community needs to do better.

hmm, not quite what I meant there. I was suggesting that commenting on people who haven't lost weight but have always been skinny, is just as inappropriate when one is a stranger with no knowledge of their health status. One may be thinking one is just being concerned and warning the person against disorders, but if one is mistaken (which a stranger can easily be), such comments are hurtful, and can easily cause mental problems and depressions.

Some commentators would also do well to undergo some sort of training as I sometimes hear harmful nonsense of either type from their mouths. I don't know what the situation is in the US, but my European country's commentators still have a way to go when it comes to talking about female athletes. Which is one of the reasons I enjoy streams without commentary.

I forgot to add that yesterday, but it makes me very sad that someone would use the few moments of meeting their favorite skater to talk to them like this. If I'm lucky enough to meet a skater I like up close, I always stick to compliments. This person totally blew the opportunity to meet their favorite and cheer them up. What's wrong with them

 

[lariko]

Ah… it’s not just athletes! No, it’s not okay to give unsolicited personal advice or ask private questions. That obsession with small talk and expectations that it excuses everything is an absolute nightmare in terms of good manners. I wish they taught etiquette and acceptable social behaviour because extreme ‘casualness’ is getting insane. Boundaries and private are there for a reason.

 

[Bookseller]

Quoting from Kaitlin's video: "... As a young athlete I didn't have the knowledge that I do now to know how to deal with those comments in a healthy way, and it led to many years of many different ends of the spectrum of an eating disorder. And that's something that, although the eating disorder behaviors have left me, there are still so many things that carry along with athletes post having an eating disorder ... "

That sounds like a pretty clear statement that she did struggle with an ED. Regardless, what an important and articulate message she shared! Such an impressive woman, person, athlete to highlight these ongoing situations/comments/unhealthy environments that athletes are often subjected to. I just can't even - for someone to ask for a photo, then say such a cruel, stupid thing under the guise of a well-intended "secret." Enraging.

Some people are just evil. That woman was one of those. The only person who benefited from that remark was the person who made it. It made her feel important and right and she didn't care that it hurt Kait. She may have even been quite satisfied that she hurt Kait. I've always found the harsh criticism from FS fans toward skaters, some of them minors, frightening.

 

[anonymoose_au]

I forgot to add that yesterday, but it makes me very sad that someone would use the few moments of meeting their favorite skater to talk to them like this.

For sure, I'm actually catching up on the Free Dance right now and Kaitlin and Jean Luc did so beautifully! Like I can't believe after seeing that in person the only thing you could think to say was "lose weight"? WTH. That's messed up. They won the free dance! Where's the "Congratulations! You were amazing! I love your style"? Or just the "Congratulations" if they're not your fave or whatever.

People can be really mean.

Kaitlin has more grace than me by calling them a "Fan", I'd have used some other unprintable words to describe them.

 

[NoNameFace]

It hit me hard yesterday when I saw that post on Kaitlin's IG. On many personal levels, but the most ridiculous thing is the utter audacity of some people out there to lure out skaters, using their kindness and then getting physical to tell them toxic things stemmed from subjective biases.

To think that I'm often afraid to approach skaters with flower crowns/gifts out of not making them bothered/upset/annoyed...and here's THAT.

Plus what's with some people to police others' bodies? Being FS viewer/fan gives that mandate, since when?

 

[surimi]

It hit me hard yesterday when I saw that post on Kaitlin's IG. On many personal levels, but the most ridiculous thing is the utter audacity of some people out there to lure out skaters, using their kindness and then getting physical to tell them toxic things stemmed from subjective biases.

To think that I'm often afraid to approach skaters with flower crowns/gifts out of not making them bothered/upset/annoyed...and here's THAT.

Plus what's with some people to police others' bodies? Being FS viewer/fan gives that mandate, since when?

Agreed! I wonder if GS is a happy exception since the vast majority here have only kind words about skaters' appearances. I guess I'll never know, as I venture only into the safe nooks of Twitter, and avoid platforms like Reddit.

 

[mrrice]

Sadly, this happens in dance as well. Even when I was dancing professionally. I had more than one choreographer tell me.....For such a big guy, you have really nice leaps. Another said "Wow, you're really great, you're the Heaviest dancer I've ever hired." I did NOT take it as a compliment. These athletes are already hyper conscious about how they look. For dancers, we trained hours a day staring into a mirror. Trust me, we KNOW how we look. Imagine a complete stranger telling you, you look better in person. They always say "The Camera adds 10 pounds" I remember seeing Tonya Harding and Kristi Yamaguchi in 1991 and could not believe how tiny they were. I'm sure that Kristi didn't weigh 100lbs, and was about 5ft tall. Tonya, who always appeared very athletic, especially her legs, was maybe 105lbs and not much taller than Kristi. Why not just tell these skaters, "I love your skating, could I take a picture, please" When people are polite, it's nice to hear good things. These athletes spend YEARS in a freezing rink and between the short and long programs, they spend about 10 minutes at an event smiling and doing their absolute best. Flowers, or a stuffed animal can go a long way. Having an event program is also a nice way to ask for an autograph. Here's one of the final music videos I was in ( More than 30's ago ) It's Chaka Khan's "Love of a lifetime" You can see me, I'm the black boy wearing an aqua Tank Short when she sings "Good for you" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2igCau3i87s

 

[NoNameFace]

Sadly, this happens in dance as well. Even when I was dancing professionally. I had more than one choreographer tell me.....For such a big guy, you have really nice leaps. Another said "Wow, you're really great, you're the Heaviest dancer I've ever hired." I did NOT take it as a compliment. These athletes are already hyper conscious about how they look. For dancers, we trained hours a day staring into a mirror. Trust me, we KNOW how we look. Imagine a complete stranger telling you, you look better in person. They always say "The Camera adds 10 pounds" I remember seeing Tonya Harding and Kristi Yamaguchi in 1991 and could not believe how tiny they were. I'm sure that Kristi didn't way 100lbs, and was about 5ft tall. Tonya, who always appeared very athletic, especially her legs, was maybe 105lbs and not much taller than Kristi. Why not just tell these skaters, "I love your skating, could I take a picture, please" When people are polite, it's nice to hear good things. These athletes spend YEARS in a freezing rink and between the short and long programs, they spend about 10 minutes at an event smiling and doing their absolute best. Flowers, or a stuffed animal can go a long way. Having an event program is also a nice way to ask for an autograph.

Your own experience reminded me about my own, brief stunt with dance. Long time ago, but still remember most of routines and figures, hehe.
As someone who always was overweight and this was even more emphasised by how my body is built (stocky, I often name it myself as 'potato genes'), I LOVED to dance, so I attended Ballroom lessons for about 3 years. These were times when I was aware how I look, but I still wanted to persevere the notion of 'big people can't dance'. Looking back, I enjoyed the experience very much, but the deconstruction of how this experience was seen (and talked about) by others was not very fun. A lot of people can only see certain activities through a singular lense, usually a thin one (pun intended) - it was not fun to see stares, mockery about something I genuinely liked to do.
This experience was also a large part of me growing negative feelings for any attention and, unfortunately, towards my own reflection in the mirror. Plus I'd rather keep things that bring me joy to my own/eventually let selected group of folks to partake the joy - I learned pretty early that there are people out there whose sole purpose in life seems to be bringing others down & take away their joy.

Kudos to Kaitlin for speaking up. I think that this sort of attention and commentary is 10x more harmful for athletes whose bodies are their work tool..