Globe & Mail article: Mira Leung falling off the map

[TRAxel]

All of the criticisms directed at Mira are valid, and I agree with them, but as a person who grew up in a traditional Asian family in Canada, I do have sympathy for her situation. I was brought up to believe that I was merely an extension of the family unit, not an individual person. Since my actions reflected on everyone else, it was my duty to conform to WHATEVER my elders expected or demanded of me, otherwise I would suffer greatly for my disobedience and for making the family look "bad". I was always forced to put their wishes above mine (actually, I wasn't even allowed to have any).

It was only after I almost completely self-destructed a couple of years ago that I realized that having others control every aspect of my life was no longer acceptable. No one should be ashamed of their heritage, but for the sake of my survival, I've rejected my parents' culture and I've fully re-embraced my Canadian identity. (I used to be very Canadian as a tween, but it was "beaten" out of me. ) I'm slowly trying to cut the threads, but I don't deny that there are times when I still feel like my family's property instead of a human being.

So as much as it hurts me to see Mira's skating career sinking down the drain, I can totally understand why letting go of her mother is extremely difficult. I suspect deep down she probably wants to, but she simply doesn't know how. It's very easy for a Westerner to say that Mira should take matters in to her own hands because most Westerners are raised to be independent. From an Asian mindset, she's not a separate entity from her mother. If you take away the person who defines your entire existence, what is there left? As painful and frustrating as it is to have someone else dictate your life, the fear of not knowing if there even is a "self" without that omnipresent figure can be VERY paralyzing.

Thank you for sharing siberia.

 

[nadster]

I think it's about time she realize she's not as good as she thinks she is... the judges are obviously telling her that she needs to step up, or skate out the door.

The international judges have been telling her this for years. Remember she did finish 24th at 2007 worlds.

The judges at Canadian nationals , however tell a very different story. She gets PCS scores in the low 7's and her jumps are never downgraded at nationals. All those jumps that she regularly gets UR calls on internationally are suddenly deemed fully rotated at nationals. True , she tends to perform better at nationals, but her marks are greatly inflated there.

Unfortunately, Mira has chosen to believe the mirage the judges at nationals give and not the reality that the international judges give.

If Mira had a few UR calls at 2007 and 2008 nationals, she might not have received the ticket for worlds those 2 years.

 

[TRAxel]

I don't think the judges are telling her anything (that's our job ). I think the judges are judging her performances.

Yes, they are judging her, with the marks and low placements... they are telling her to step up And us telling her makes no difference to her... we don't give out the marks.

 

[Tonichelle]

True , she tends to perform better at nationals, but her marks are greatly inflated there.

That happens to everyone at nationals. Nationals scores, in general, are inflated so that they go into the *big* competitions with *big* scores so that they can seem to be a *big* deal.

 

[Tigger]

That's true Toni, but it's one thing to do that to a skater that's consistantly improving. W/Mira, she plateaued about three years ago and instead of improving, has been regressing.

I have my fingers crossed Mira will be nailed for her UR's this year at Canadians.

I honestly don't hate Mira, I pity her because the girl never had a chance thanks to her Mother thinking they knew more about skating than the experts. However, it irritates me to see someone given all the chances in the World, and then some, and she/they just throw it back in the face(s) of Skate Canada *and* the fans by her behaviour and attitude.

As I've said before...All the potenial in the world and...:sad:

 

[bethissoawesome]

This article just made me think about a parent trying to force their kid into taking piano lessons. I think most people went through something like that when they were young.

Despite how the article is written, I can't find much to blame in Mira Leung. Everyone seems to forget how young these skaters are, being forced into such a competitive environment when people the same age are just starting to worry about puberty and the opposite sex. Isn't it only natural for Mira to be frustrated? She's been skating at the senior level for a long time, but her experience is just like a high schooler who, despite practicing and trying, only winds up playing on the junior varsity team when they want varsity... and no one really cares about what happens to those junior varsity players. It's understable. Who wouldn't be frustrated? Not to mention the changes that are necessary to crack the top 10, adding a triple-triple, etc., aren't easy things to make, and Mira Leung isn't 15 anymore. Even if she got all the necessary elements to compete with the best skaters, how long would it take? How much would it cut out of the rest of her life (something that has probably been considerably ignored from keeping up with a competitive skating career). For some people, it's easier to do it their own way and settle into mediocrity rather than to try and still find themselves not up to par with the top contenders.

It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of the female skaters were feeling equally as reluctanct. Imagine being in the middle of the pack and looking at Yu-Na Kim and Mao Asada... you'd probably think to yourself "that can never be me."

I'm sure this post seems to come across as "why try hard when the top is so far too reach", that's not really my intention. I just think it's completely understandable for anyone to look at the Yu-Na, Mao, Yukari, etc. and feel completely and utterly frustrated.

 

[Winnipeg]

Mira strikes me as someone who would really rather be doing something else. However, she may be under pressure from family to continue (e.g., we have spent all this money just for you to quit?.........or, if you quit, you're on your own re finances, or of you quit forget about uni tuition help etc etc

What a rotten position to be in. I hope I am wrong.

 

[passion]

All of the criticisms directed at Mira are valid, and I agree with them, but as a person who grew up in a traditional Asian family in Canada, I do have sympathy for her situation. I was brought up to believe that I was merely an extension of the family unit, not an individual person. Since my actions reflected on everyone else, it was my duty to conform to WHATEVER my elders expected or demanded of me, otherwise I would suffer greatly for my disobedience and for making the family look "bad". I was always forced to put their wishes above mine (actually, I wasn't even allowed to have any).

It was only after I almost completely self-destructed a couple of years ago that I realized that having others control every aspect of my life was no longer acceptable. No one should be ashamed of their heritage, but for the sake of my survival, I've rejected my parents' culture and I've fully re-embraced my Canadian identity. (I used to be very Canadian as a tween, but it was "beaten" out of me. ) I'm slowly trying to cut the threads, but I don't deny that there are times when I still feel like my family's property instead of a human being.

So as much as it hurts me to see Mira's skating career sinking down the drain, I can totally understand why letting go of her mother is extremely difficult. I suspect deep down she probably wants to, but she simply doesn't know how. It's very easy for a Westerner to say that Mira should take matters in to her own hands because most Westerners are raised to be independent. From an Asian mindset, she's not a separate entity from her mother. If you take away the person who defines your entire existence, what is there left? As painful and frustrating as it is to have someone else dictate your life, the fear of not knowing if there even is a "self" without that omnipresent figure can be VERY paralyzing.

Siberia, thank you for sharing this insight so articulately. I will just add that I think Mama Leung has all the love and caring for Mira even if it comes out as toughness. She has all the best of intentions for her daughter and has made big sacrifices for her Mira. Unfortunately, things did not turn out as planned. (I believe Mama Leung wanted Mira to become a world level champion in skating and her life would be set). It takes more than skating eight hours a day and telling your daughter to do the jump again and again to make a champion. I can see Mama Leung being deeply hurt and disappointed if Mira says one day, "No I don't want to skate". Mama Leung's image is deeply correlated to Mira's achievement in life.

 

[siberia82]

Siberia, thank you for sharing this insight so articulately. I will just add that I think Mama Leung has all the love and caring for Mira even if it comes out as toughness. She has all the best of intentions for her daughter and has made big sacrifices for her Mira. Unfortunately, things did not turn out as planned. (I believe Mama Leung wanted Mira to become a world level champion in skating and her life would be set). It takes more than skating eight hours a day and telling your daughter to do the jump again and again to make a champion. I can see Mama Leung being deeply hurt and disappointed if Mira says one day, "No I don't want to skate". Mama Leung's image is deeply correlated to Mira's achievement in life.

You've made an excellent observation, passion. I too believe that behind Mrs. Leung's iron fist, she has nothing but the best intentions for her daughter. It's the same with my family (even though it took me a while to realize that). Just as Mira is an extension of her mother, Mrs. Leung lives completely through her child's accomplishments. It's indeed love, but too much of it can choke the life out of a person. A metaphor I often use to describe this kind of relationship is "hugging someone to death".

When I saw Mira on CBC's coverage of CoC last weekend, she looked totally "lost" both mentally and spiritually. As others have pointed out, she clearly doesn't want to be out there competing, but she doesn't seem to feel that she has much of a choice. Her body language and facial expressions strongly indicate that she was skating for someone else, not for herself. I doubt the face Mira projects to the outside world (e.g. the media, her coaches, Skate Canada, etc.) is a true reflection of her personality. It's just a mask that she has developed over the years to compensate for her terrible insecurity over who she is without her mother defining it for her.

Not that I want to wish harm on any skater, but I do kinda hope Mira misses out on the World team. She needs something very serious to give her the wake-up call she needs to realize she can't keep going on like this. It's absolutely terrifying to have start building an identity from scratch and to learn how to think/make decisions on your own when you're in your 20s, but the alternative is clearly taking a huge tool on her well-being and future happiness. I sincerely hope Mira finds the strength and courage to break free from Mrs. Leung's expectations so that she can figure out what the "real" Mira truly desires.

 

[Ladskater]

Does everyone here really believe what they read in the press? Let's let Mira reply first before making harsh judgements. She may surprise us all...

 

[passion]

Does everyone here really believe what they read in the press? Let's let Mira reply first before making harsh judgements. She may surprise us all...

If a reporter asks her whether she likes skating, is she really going to say, "actually I would rather be doing something else"? You have to put on a front to a certain extent and say the right things. It's like when a reporter had asked her whether she still wants to go the the 2010 Olympics and Mira replied, "I'm all gung ho for it". Well, actions and body language speak louder than words. So no, I don't really believe Mira when she said that. Someone who is really all gung ho for the Olympics would be doing everything to make sure they have their coaching in place and not be taking a 3 month break. They would accept all the support and help available to them.

Speaking of 2010 Olympics, hopefully she will make the team. Cynthia has gotten higher marks and more Grand Prix points than Mira this year. Cynthia:20th and Mira: 25th. I'm wondering whether Skate Canada will notice that.

 

[siberia82]

Speaking of 2010 Olympics, hopefully she will make the team. Cynthia has gotten higher marks and more Grand Prix points than Mira this year. Cynthia:20th and Mira: 25th. I'm wondering whether Skate Canada will notice that.

I'm quite certain the bigwigs who run the organization don't miss a thing numbers-wise.

 

[Winnipeg]

I'm quite certain the bigwigs who run the organization don't miss a thing numbers-wise.

I agree............

 

[Gwendolyn]

This article just made me think about a parent trying to force their kid into taking piano lessons. I think most people went through something like that when they were young.

Despite how the article is written, I can't find much to blame in Mira Leung. Everyone seems to forget how young these skaters are, being forced into such a competitive environment when people the same age are just starting to worry about puberty and the opposite sex. Isn't it only natural for Mira to be frustrated? She's been skating at the senior level for a long time, but her experience is just like a high schooler who, despite practicing and trying, only winds up playing on the junior varsity team when they want varsity... and no one really cares about what happens to those junior varsity players. It's understable. Who wouldn't be frustrated? Not to mention the changes that are necessary to crack the top 10, adding a triple-triple, etc., aren't easy things to make, and Mira Leung isn't 15 anymore. Even if she got all the necessary elements to compete with the best skaters, how long would it take? How much would it cut out of the rest of her life (something that has probably been considerably ignored from keeping up with a competitive skating career). For some people, it's easier to do it their own way and settle into mediocrity rather than to try and still find themselves not up to par with the top contenders.

It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of the female skaters were feeling equally as reluctanct. Imagine being in the middle of the pack and looking at Yu-Na Kim and Mao Asada... you'd probably think to yourself "that can never be me."

I'm sure this post seems to come across as "why try hard when the top is so far too reach", that's not really my intention. I just think it's completely understandable for anyone to look at the Yu-Na, Mao, Yukari, etc. and feel completely and utterly frustrated.

I respectfully disagree. I'm sure Mama Leung loves her daughter but I think she has a control issue here too. If she wanted the best for her child, she would LISTEN TO THE PROFESSIONALS who are trying to help her child. Mira's experience is not that much like the junior varsity player because in her case, she had the support of the sporting organization (Sports Canada) but in turn rejected their advice and help. She wasn't relegated to junior varsity, she's instead gone and represented the country, made the world team, when she maybe shouldn't have. And then apparently still won't listen to them when they make suggestions.

And her frustration? I think her mother has done her a grave injustice by isolating Mira and not allowing her to be involved because now she lives in an illusion and is frustrated when she has to deal with the "real world."

And I think her mother has smothered her to the point where she doesn't know what she wants and that's where her frustration is from. Why should it matter if if it breaks Mama Leung's heart, if it's the best for Mira?