I feel sick every time I hear such a story. I was bullied from time to time as a kid (just for being an oddball really--the word dork hadn't been invented yet), but the most difficult occasion I ever endured was sitting next to someone else who was being bullied. This girl was a bit of an eccentric who reacted in an immature way when things went wrong. Of course her tendency to tantrums stimulated the response. I wasn't strong enough to yell or protest--we were all on transport on our way home from a gathering, where we would separate forever afterward. So I spent a few hours sitting penned up in my seat, hearing well-dressed young suburban ladies let loose at this kid who was melting down in the seat next to me--singing funny songs at her expense, commenting on her hair. That was the moment in my life I knew absolutely that I could never join in with such behavior even if it meant being ostracized forever. But I still wish I had been able to shout them down. I wonder if they ever think of that day.
It's such a diabolical thing, bullying, because just in the way that wolves gang up to cull a weakling from a herd of caribou, the effect is tremendously isolating. Other people are afraid to take action because maybe they will be bullied forever afterward too. It can go on for years. And the result is that we lose kids like this Jamie Hubley. Maybe, like Debi Thomas, he would have become a doctor after his skating career. Maybe like Michelle or YuNa, he would have gone into international diplomacy or charity work. We'll never know. Fifteen years old, and he couldn't see any other way out.
I'm not sure we can count on the youngsters now in skating to take a stand. They're probably too scared that someone will think they're gay--as if such a thing matters. But that's how young people are, especially many young men. Maybe some of the older skaters or the coaches could think of something to say. Homophobic bullying is an especially tricky form of bullying because kids are forming their identities at that age, and they're too anxious to be either brave or empathetic. It shouldn't be something to be anxious about, but there you are. Human nature is far behind what we would wish it to be.
Blue Dog, I remember reading stuff about John Curry and how his federation didn't think highly of him because he wasn't sufficiently "masculine." John Curry! The man who put men's skating and British men's skating on the map. Thank God the rest of us knew better. I wish some of us could have gotten through to Jamie Hubley, to let him know how eagerly we were waiting for him to step onto the world arena. His poor family; what a dreadful tragedy.
