I would hardly call Focus on the Family a good organization overall. Have they done some good things? Yes and I don't dispute that, but IMO it's all window dressing to distract from the other activities they pursue. It allows them to put up a public face of social respectability while behind the scenes pursuing their real agenda. Don't forget that Focus on the Family also is a political organization, but due to tax laws they have had to make strides to ensure that they are publicly and legally separate from those activities. However, the same people who work for the religious side also work for the political side. The political arm of FOTF is the Family Research Council. In fact for a few years in the late 80s and early 90s, the two organizations were legally merged. When tax exempt status for FOTF was challenged, the separated but shared directors. It's like the current set up in in politics with political campaigns and super pacs. Everyone knows they are connected, but they claim complete official separation and no knowledge of the other's activities. So in the end, one group comes out looking clean while the other does all the dirty work. As an example, these groups push ideas that all gays are sexual predators, diseased, party animals, untrustworthy, wealthy, are to blame for the break down of the family etc. all to create the idea that we can't be trusted in mainstream upstanding society.
You don't have to hold up explicit signs like Westboro to be virulently anti-gay.
Also this discussion of Mathew Shepard is veering into a level of revisionism I find disturbing. While the vast majority of people even then acknowledged his death was a crime, there were people who publicly stated their belief that he deserved it. Not all of those people were from Westboro either. But those were not the people who bothered me the most. The ones who are being overlooked in this discussion are the people who acknowledged the crime but implied that either Mathew deserved what he got or brought it on himself. For years the murderers and their lawyers pursued a sickening gay panic defense as their legal strategy, claiming Mathew came on to them and their overreacted and beat him. The implication was that he deserved it or had brought his death on himself. Total BS. 20/20 even ran a poorly done story where they gave voice to some of these ideas. But still there was significant fear that the strategy would succeed in at least reducing the sentence or producing a hung jury if not outright acquittal. That's not surprising because even today that thinking is actively used as a strategy to defend people who murder and assault gays. Until recently, they had a a better than decent chance of succeeding.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic
BTW, if anyone thinks Shepard's death was a one off occurrence, think again. These crimes happen all the time but rarely get sufficient attention. Here is a sampling.
http://www.wthr.com/Global/story.asp?S=6433072
http://www.wbbjtv.com/news/local/Assault-Complaints-Filed-after-Incident-at-Church-130746713.html
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/blogslgbt/51875407-61/bell-gay-sentenced-couple.html.csp
As for conservative arguments against the expansion of federal hate crimes laws to include gays, those arguments lack merit. Hate crimes laws have existed for race based crimes for decades. Just as with other civil rights laws, they have been gradually expanded to include other groups of people. They are not about creating a special new redundant set of laws to prosecute crimes. They exist to give prosecutors an additional tools to address the
motivation behind that crime and are not just restricted to murder. They also cover assault, arson, vandalism, rape, etc. Intent has always been an important principle when pursuing a criminal conviction. There have been and are laws on the books for other crimes (insider trading, money laundering, etc.) that take intent or motivation into account to determine both guilt and severity of punishment. Using motivation to bolster a prosecution is not a newly created result of hate crimes laws to protect gays. Another reason these laws exist is that they provide additional federal resources to local officials when gathering evidence and pursuing prosecution. Murders and other high profile crimes in small towns or remote areas (as was the case with Mathew) can overwhelm local law enforcement. If the crime is particularly horrific, gathering forensic evidence can be difficult or compromised. Even if guilt or the suspects is apparent, remember that a murder conviction on its own is not a guarantee of a long or sufficient prison sentence. However, if a hate crime conviction is sought, a significantly more harsh sentence can be won. (Also remember that the burden of proof for hate crimes sentences is significantly higher than for murder.)
Let's be clear, religious objections to hate crimes laws, or frankly any legal expansion of protections for gays at the local, state or federal level, all center around speech. Religious groups want to protect their right to be able to speak out against behaviors or groups of people with whom they disagree or about whom they find offense or disapproval. It's an age old constitutional argument. What is free speech and are there any limits to it? They have every constitutional and legal right to express their beliefs in private and to some degree in public, but the state does not have to endorse that belief by permitting it in government funded spaces and institutions. That has been acknowledged by the fact that every major piece of legislation written to address expansion of hate crimes to cover gays has included exemptions and protection for religious speech.
Also remember that the original federal hate crimes laws, as part of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, have always covered religion as a protected class. Federal hate crimes laws also protect people on the basis of gender, race, ethnicity, nationality and disability along with sexual orientation and religion.
Everyone on US soil is protected by federal hate crimes law to one degree or another. If a crime is motivated by hate that person's status as a member of one of those groups, then it's severity in the eyes of the law is elevated. Simple as that. You can dislike a group of people as intensely as you like. Tell people about it if you want to. But if you either act on that had after establishing such a public position or to actively encourage someone else to do so, you have opened the door to potential prosecution for a hate crime.