Hurt that my friend didn't invite me to her party

[Johar]

My friend Nicole and I had earlier planned on having a Christmas party at my house. It may or may not have been a gift exchange.

Anyhow, her other friends didn't want to do it at my house, so Nicole is having it at her house this coming Saturday but I am not invited!

If I was invited I would've heard a time to be there, what food to bring and who I was exchanging gifts with.

I haven't been invited to any Christmas parties this season, since I don't work outside of the home and am not on enough of a social scale to get invited to these parties. So I was looking forward to this party.

Nicole keeps telling me what a great friend I am to her and how she is getting tired of the other people.

How should I handle this situation? I wouldn't dare hint around or ask to be invited. But I can't lie to you people and say it doesn't bother me.

I had planned out a menu of food to bring, too. Oh, well.

 

[guinevere]

Is it possible that Nicole simply thought you knew you were invited? It would be beyond rude for someone to not invite the person who was originally going to co-host.

I think it is entirely reasonable to call her and ask about the party. You can say "I know we talked about doing a party at my house, and then it got moved to your house, is it still on?" This gives her an opportunity to weasel if she actually doesn't want you there for some reason, or a chance to say "Gosh, I thought you just knew to come!".

Good luck - I hope it works out!

guinevere

 

[Grgranny]

It sounds to me like she feels you would just know about it and she didn't realize you should have an invitation because you would just naturally be there.

On the other hand I have the feeling that someone told her if you were going to be there then they wouldn't come. I gather this from the comment that her friends didn't want it at your house. The second feeling of the above is what I would conclude. So, if that's the case, she's not that great of a friend and she should have not catered to their demands. It is such an awful feeling to be treated like this. I have been invited to very few Christmas parties. I can remember one. And it was my husbands friends at work. I sure am sorry this has happened to you and hope you have lots of other friends. I have been invited to our choir director's party Friday night and did go once. Didn't go last year because no one asked if they could pick me up and that's probably what will happen this year. The first year someone took me. I can't drive at night as it isn't lit up at all and I can only drive on well lit streets at night. Well, that sounds like bad grammar but going to send it that way anyway!

arty:

 

[Johar]

After New Years, I plan on holding a party at my house. Just food and relaxation. So many people are booked up right now so it will have to be after the holidays.

Thanks for responding and listening.

 

[RealtorGal]

How did I miss this thread? I am so sorry! Either she really assumes you will be there since this was supposed to be a joint effort (in which case there is a lack of communication between the two of you), or she is a jerk and you need to move on. Why didn't her friends want to have the party at your house? Are they not your friends? Were these same people to be on the guest list had it been at your house rather than hers? Why is she inviting a bunch of people that she tells you she doesn't care for?

I definitely vote for calling her and asking her what gives with the party. If she really did not invite you, I'd want to know now. That phone call will clear everything up--for better or for worse.

Many hugs!

 

[dlkksk8fan]

I agree with RealtorGal on this one. Call your friend and ask what is going on.

 

[NJSk8Fan]

I also agree with RealtorGal....either there has been a huge mistake in the way of lack of communication or she's a total jerk and you should move on to people who will be true friends thru thick and thin.

 

[Johar]

Good news!

First, there is no Christmas party anywhere. Her friends didn't want to do it, period. All they want to do is exchange gifts and leave.

Also, nicole, me and another girl are getting together Saturday night and making food there. It will be fun.

Today we went out to lunch and had a blast

I'm glad I got it straightened out. We may do New Years together. She said her other friends are becoming more of a pain than fun to be around.

 

[JOHIO2]

Johar,

Glad you got that all straightened out. I know you were feeling miserable when you thought your friends were having a party and didn't invite you. Aren't you glad that you worried for nothing? Asking at least gives you the facts and this time the facts gave you a chance to have your own little get-together and have a great time. I'm happy for you. Hope the rest of the holiday season is happy and we ALL look forward to a New Year here -- those nationals are fast approaching.

 

[show 42]

Wow, I must have been lost in "cyber space" to have missed this thread. I was going to chime in and say be up front and ask your friend what's going on with the party plans. It looks like it worked out after all.........it's always better to ask and not to second guess.............42