- Joined
- Apr 8, 2023
Hi there!
It's been a while since I've posted here. But I've been having some issues with my coach for several months now that I would like to know if I'm overreacting about. I'm not confrontational and I don't want to start any rifts or anything. This is why I haven't said anything to any other coach, and I am scared to do so.
To start, I have had this coach since I started skating almost a year ago. I signed up to do 2 1-hour lessons a week. We settled for Monday and Friday evenings. I also skate 10-15 hours/week on my own. I am very dedicated despite being older (26), having a toddler, and being in school. When I first started seeing this coach she would often apologize for being away on trips a lot because she had already planned them before taking me on, which was understandable. She says she has a busy schedule and plans everything a whole year in advance. And she expects me to be able to tell her when I can do all of my lessons, months in advance which is not possible for me. My husband is active duty and his schedule is always changing. She was understanding about this before, but now seems to be having an issue with it but isn’t telling me.
The issue now is that I have testing coming up, and I'm also trying to get a program together, but she's literally never here. She told me to send her music, so I did and she still has yet to even listen to it. But she keeps talking about making me a program for a comp in March. I did this comp last year, and she wasn't there for it. I had the other coaches help me. This was my first comp and I was really nervous. She asked if I wanted to do the comp this year, and I was really excited. But she then told me she has to figure out the dates because she probably won't be here, yet again. I told her I would not be doing any comps or testing if she was not going to be there. Is that too extreme? I mean, I know I can still do them. But I just feel like if you're going to work with one coach for months on something, they should be there. I figured she'd want to be there too.
I often feel like she doesn't want to teach me too. Several times she has canceled on me last minute because she "forgot we had a lesson" and scheduled something else at the same time. A little over a month ago she completely ghosted me after I asked her if we were having a lesson. I then had to text her saying I would be looking for a new coach if she is too busy to keep doing lessons with me. Only then did she respond. After that, she was putting effort into communicating and actually taking me for lessons for a little. But recently she has been doing the same things again and it's really frustrating. I know we all know how expensive private lessons are, and I usually get 2 1-hour lessons a week so I am paying a lot of money a month for these. Half the time she's on her phone anyway. I feel like my time and money are being wasted and I'm being used for money. My time is valuable and I have had to scramble to find babysitters, I've missed out on special occasions with my daughter, and I've left my family who was visiting from out of state (on my sister's birthday) to have a lesson because I know if I don't take what I can get I won't be getting a lesson at all. I think she knows this, which makes me upset because I feel like she’s taking advantage of that. And what makes it worse is I have not gained any new skills in the past 6 months. In fact, I have regressed and can no longer land any of my jumps or hold a simple one-foot spin. I skate every morning by myself for about 1-1.5 hours, but if I could teach myself I wouldn't be paying all of this money for a coach. I've had lessons with other coaches and I learned way more in a 30/45-minute lesson than most of my other lessons with her. I have no idea what to do because she doesn't seem to want to have a conversation about this. And tbh idek how to approach this conversation with her. So, if anyone has any suggestions that would be fantastic.
Honestly, I have thought about quitting altogether recently. I just feel defeated; like she doesn't believe in me, and it makes getting on the ice really difficult. I really liked her as a coach, but I'm starting to resent her as a person. I get really nervous before lessons because idk what excuse she's going to come up with next. And it makes me disappointed because I always show up at least 15 minutes before each lesson, stretch, get my skates on, and warm up on the ice and she’s still usually late or gets there right at my lesson time. I know this is mostly my fault for not speaking up and setting clear boundaries, but I feel like it’s really unprofessional to take advantage of a student like this.
It's been a while since I've posted here. But I've been having some issues with my coach for several months now that I would like to know if I'm overreacting about. I'm not confrontational and I don't want to start any rifts or anything. This is why I haven't said anything to any other coach, and I am scared to do so.
To start, I have had this coach since I started skating almost a year ago. I signed up to do 2 1-hour lessons a week. We settled for Monday and Friday evenings. I also skate 10-15 hours/week on my own. I am very dedicated despite being older (26), having a toddler, and being in school. When I first started seeing this coach she would often apologize for being away on trips a lot because she had already planned them before taking me on, which was understandable. She says she has a busy schedule and plans everything a whole year in advance. And she expects me to be able to tell her when I can do all of my lessons, months in advance which is not possible for me. My husband is active duty and his schedule is always changing. She was understanding about this before, but now seems to be having an issue with it but isn’t telling me.
The issue now is that I have testing coming up, and I'm also trying to get a program together, but she's literally never here. She told me to send her music, so I did and she still has yet to even listen to it. But she keeps talking about making me a program for a comp in March. I did this comp last year, and she wasn't there for it. I had the other coaches help me. This was my first comp and I was really nervous. She asked if I wanted to do the comp this year, and I was really excited. But she then told me she has to figure out the dates because she probably won't be here, yet again. I told her I would not be doing any comps or testing if she was not going to be there. Is that too extreme? I mean, I know I can still do them. But I just feel like if you're going to work with one coach for months on something, they should be there. I figured she'd want to be there too.
I often feel like she doesn't want to teach me too. Several times she has canceled on me last minute because she "forgot we had a lesson" and scheduled something else at the same time. A little over a month ago she completely ghosted me after I asked her if we were having a lesson. I then had to text her saying I would be looking for a new coach if she is too busy to keep doing lessons with me. Only then did she respond. After that, she was putting effort into communicating and actually taking me for lessons for a little. But recently she has been doing the same things again and it's really frustrating. I know we all know how expensive private lessons are, and I usually get 2 1-hour lessons a week so I am paying a lot of money a month for these. Half the time she's on her phone anyway. I feel like my time and money are being wasted and I'm being used for money. My time is valuable and I have had to scramble to find babysitters, I've missed out on special occasions with my daughter, and I've left my family who was visiting from out of state (on my sister's birthday) to have a lesson because I know if I don't take what I can get I won't be getting a lesson at all. I think she knows this, which makes me upset because I feel like she’s taking advantage of that. And what makes it worse is I have not gained any new skills in the past 6 months. In fact, I have regressed and can no longer land any of my jumps or hold a simple one-foot spin. I skate every morning by myself for about 1-1.5 hours, but if I could teach myself I wouldn't be paying all of this money for a coach. I've had lessons with other coaches and I learned way more in a 30/45-minute lesson than most of my other lessons with her. I have no idea what to do because she doesn't seem to want to have a conversation about this. And tbh idek how to approach this conversation with her. So, if anyone has any suggestions that would be fantastic.
Honestly, I have thought about quitting altogether recently. I just feel defeated; like she doesn't believe in me, and it makes getting on the ice really difficult. I really liked her as a coach, but I'm starting to resent her as a person. I get really nervous before lessons because idk what excuse she's going to come up with next. And it makes me disappointed because I always show up at least 15 minutes before each lesson, stretch, get my skates on, and warm up on the ice and she’s still usually late or gets there right at my lesson time. I know this is mostly my fault for not speaking up and setting clear boundaries, but I feel like it’s really unprofessional to take advantage of a student like this.
