M
mathman444
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 11
You're bacon. Freddy.
You're bacon. Freddy.
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F
Freddy the Pig 2
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 11
Don't you mean I'm ri.kb ?
Don't you mean I'm ri.kb ?
E
eltamina
Guest
GS is the BBB board
Mathman said, "bacon"
Our most esteemed professor Mathman, from just a short few weeks of lurking/ posting here, I found out that B words reign supreme here at GS. I am afraid bacon is not one of those B words though. Do you mean BBB instead? Of course even as a newbie here I know BBB are not Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms. BBB in this board = Bovine, Beef and Brain. :lol: :rollin:
Mathman said, "bacon"
Our most esteemed professor Mathman, from just a short few weeks of lurking/ posting here, I found out that B words reign supreme here at GS. I am afraid bacon is not one of those B words though. Do you mean BBB instead? Of course even as a newbie here I know BBB are not Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms. BBB in this board = Bovine, Beef and Brain. :lol: :rollin:
M
mathman444
Guest
The Bronze Horseman, Part 12
The Adventure of the Missing Bronze Horseman
A Michelle Kwan Mystery by Alice Louise et. al.
Part 12, by Mathman
Michelle and Alexei were escorted, none too gently, from the car, up the steps, and into the reception hall of the NSA building. After a quick consultation among the internal security staff, they were photographed and fingerprinted, then frog-marched down a series of corridors, past several security check points, and finally thrust through the door of a particularly unassuming office at the end of a long but brightly lighted hallway.
Michelle glanced about her. Mathman's office proved to be half computer lab, half shrine to Michelle Kwan. Michelle's eyes followed the line of life-sized posters of her that covered three of the four walls. Each one was precisely 152 centimeters by 94 centimeters, in accordance with the golden ratio of one plus the square root of five to two. Spaced exactly 25.4 centimeters apart, they traced Michelle’s career from Pocahontas to Scheherazade. In a jumbled heap in a far corner were three Fields Medals, presumably awarded to Mathman under various aliases.
Mathman looked up from his desk.
“Michelle,” he gasped, “it really IS you.” -- and fainted dead away.
Oh brother, thought Michelle, we don’t have time for this. She picked up a vase of flowers from the corner of the desk and emptied it over Mathman’s head. Artificial flowers and little glass marbles bounced off his head and rolled across the floor. But it did the trick, as Mathman slowly regained consciousness.
“Michelle,” he mumbled, genuflecting.
“Oh, get up and stop acting stupid,” said Michelle. “We came here for your help. This is my friend, Alexei Yagudin.”
Of course Mathman was well acquainted with the career of the Russian star -- after all, he had won as many world championships as Michelle had -- and he shook his hand warmly.
Michelle gave Mathman the briefest of summaries of their situation and produced the coded message:
46385039563281947329523165099453765093423
95847736652439685774635455524069583543867
84326546656487706988354622735314638673934
75649903895647213749507650084637643368457
75640957463958649306576673421875643865719
64287476453374465438576396004585763446586
85746967867325467532658665539585652218594
756483975694653968753647602747
“So what do you think, Mathman,” asked Michelle. “Is it really a code? Can you decode it?”
“It’s not a code, its a cipher,” replied Mathman. “A code is based on a secret agreement on the part of the two parties. ‘One if by land, two if by sea.’ That’s a code. It can’t be broken by cryptanalysis. A cipher is a substitution of letters or numbers according to a specific formula. Every cipher can be broken in principle if the message is long enough.”
“Well, never mind that, Mathman,” Michelle said impatiently. “Can you break this ‘cipher’ or not?”
“Well,” answered Mathman, “it’s obviously a Rivest, Shamir and Adleman, or RSA Public Key cipher. See these 30 digits down at the bottom? That’s the “public key.” Every member of the network has access to the public key, and in principle the message can be deciphered with this information alone.”
“In principle?” asked Alexei, joining in now for the first time.
“Yes, Alexei,” responded Mathman, “in the sense that there is a well defined algorithm to produce the plaintext from the ciphertext. The advantage to this method is that if a particular agent is captured or killed before he can carry out the encrypted instructions, another member of the network can step in without extensive rebriefing. But without the contributions of the ith and jth private keys, when operative i is communicating with operative j, it takes an impractically large amount of computer time -- weeks, perhaps, to do all of the calculations.”
“Well, we don’t have weeks, Mathman,” explained Michelle. ”The long program in the Friendship Games is Saturday, and if we don’t have this all cleared up by then, and the Bronze Horseman returned, I think that something terrible is going to happen.”
“Fortunately, Michelle,” Mathman said, “I have just been working on a new subroutine that ought to speed up the computations considerably. This will be a good chance to test it.”
Mathman took the piece of paper from Michelle and ran it through his scanner. He typed in a command and pressed “enter.” Immediately the printer came on line, printing out a series of letters.
“Hmm,” said Mathman, still looking at the computer screen. “0.08 seconds. I still have some work to do on the program, I see.”
But Michelle and Alexei were looking at the printout.
“Mathman,” Alexei said in bewilderment. “This is just a bunch of gibberish!”
Indeed, the printed message was:
EM JUN MGO WONM AK METON,
EM JUN MGO JATNM AK METON,
EM JUN MGO UDO AK JENRAT,
EM JUN MGO UDO AK KAAZENGFONN,
EM JUN MGO OQAHG AK WOZEOK,
EM JUNE MGO OQAHG AK EFHYORIZEMS,
EM JUN MGO NQYEFD AK GAQO,
EMJUN MGO JEFMOY AK RONUEY.
Michelle looked at Mathman suspiciously.
“Very funny, Mathman,” she said in annoyance, “but where’s the plaintext?”
“Oh,” Mathman answered, “that’s all this decryption program can do, separate the message into English words with a random assignment of letters. Now we have to use probabilistic techniques.”
“Well,” said Michelle, “I don’t see how that’s any better than those stupid numbers.”
“Oh, its much better,“ was the answer. “Not only is the message divided naturally into words, but look at this -- each work can actually be pronounced. Sort of. You need a little imagination for MGO and JATNM. But that means that vowels have been substituted for vowels and consonants for consonants. Otherwise you'd have words with no vowels and you couldn't pronounce it, like xcprtzf or tschrnchv.”
Michelle looked again at the still-encrypted message which Vera had given her -- was it only yesterday? Probabilistic techniques?
“Well, let’s see,” Michelle thought out loud. “I know that E is the most common letter in English, so... Hah, the letter O occurs 22 times in this message -- more than any other letter. So let's go with O for E.”
“OK,” added Alexei. “And now the word MGO occurs 8 times and so does JUN. The most common 3-letter word in English is THE. Since O is really E, MGO must be THE. So M is T and G is H.”
Michelle took up the analysis again: "OK Now. The first word in every line, EM, is really _T. So it must be IT or AT. If we try IT, then each line starts with
IT _ _ _ THE
and the middle letter is a vowel, not e or i.”
"IT WAS THE...!" shouted Alexei. “You know, this would be easier for me if it was in Russian.”
“But then you'd be on your own,” Michelle laughed. “Two heads are better than one. OK, now we know we know three of the vowels, A, E, and I. Since O is much more common than U, ciphertext A is probably plaintext O. That means that AK is either "of, "or," or "on." Let's try "of" first. So if we put in all the letters we know so far, let's see now..."
IT WAS THE _EST OF TI_ES,
IT WAS THE WO_ST OF TI_ES.
IT WAS THE A_E OF WIS_O_,
IT WAS THE A_E OF FOO_ISH_ESS.
IT WAS THE E_O_H OF _E_IEF,
IT WAS THE E_O_H OF I_ _ _E_U_IT_....
IT WAS THE S_ _I_ _ OF _O_E,
IT WAS THE WI_TE_ OF _ES_AIR.
The three stared at the message for some seconds. Suddenly Michelle spoke:
“Alexei! Mathman!
“It was the best of times. it was the worst of times,
“It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
“It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of ... What's the opposite of belief?
“Incredulity?” offered Mathman, incredulous.
“...the epoch of incredulity,” Michelle continued.
"It was the -- something -- of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
“Spring of hope!” Alexei joined in. “The spring of hope, the winter of despair.”
Alexei and Michelle looked at each other.
“That's it?“ said Alexei in bewilderment. “That's the message? What is it saying?”
“Just a minute, Aloysha.” Michelle’s mind was racing a mile a minute. “Aloysha! This is the opening paragraph of A Tale of Two Cities, by Dickens. ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’ Yeah. The two cities were London and Paris and it was the time leading up the French revolution.”
“Well, Viva la France,” was Alexei’s reply, “but what does that have to do with us?”
But Michelle was on a roll.
“OK, think about it,” she said. “Two cities. Two countries. Russia and the United States. The Friendship games. The Bronze Horseman on loan from The Hermitage to the National Museum of Art. Washington, D.C., and ... where is the Hermitage, anyway, Moscow or Lenningrad?”
“Len..,” Alexei began. “I mean St. Petersburg. They changed the name back. It’s the old Czarist capital.”
That struck another bell with Michelle.
“St. Petersburg?” she exclaimed. “Isn’t that where Count Von Petrick has his second estate, along with the Von Egan holdings in Luxembourg? It all seems to be coming together now. The Tale of Two Cities. Washington and St. Petersberg. I think the key to the missing Horseman is there, in St. Petersberg. Mathman, can you help?”
Thirty minutes later Michelle Kwan and Alexei Yagudin, 8 world championships between them, were on a State Department jet streaking toward Russia through the cloudless skies.
-----------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------
Back to you, Alice Lou.
Weave your spell, Alice L.
(If you please, Alice Louise.)
The Adventure of the Missing Bronze Horseman
A Michelle Kwan Mystery by Alice Louise et. al.
Part 12, by Mathman
Michelle and Alexei were escorted, none too gently, from the car, up the steps, and into the reception hall of the NSA building. After a quick consultation among the internal security staff, they were photographed and fingerprinted, then frog-marched down a series of corridors, past several security check points, and finally thrust through the door of a particularly unassuming office at the end of a long but brightly lighted hallway.
Michelle glanced about her. Mathman's office proved to be half computer lab, half shrine to Michelle Kwan. Michelle's eyes followed the line of life-sized posters of her that covered three of the four walls. Each one was precisely 152 centimeters by 94 centimeters, in accordance with the golden ratio of one plus the square root of five to two. Spaced exactly 25.4 centimeters apart, they traced Michelle’s career from Pocahontas to Scheherazade. In a jumbled heap in a far corner were three Fields Medals, presumably awarded to Mathman under various aliases.
Mathman looked up from his desk.
“Michelle,” he gasped, “it really IS you.” -- and fainted dead away.
Oh brother, thought Michelle, we don’t have time for this. She picked up a vase of flowers from the corner of the desk and emptied it over Mathman’s head. Artificial flowers and little glass marbles bounced off his head and rolled across the floor. But it did the trick, as Mathman slowly regained consciousness.
“Michelle,” he mumbled, genuflecting.
“Oh, get up and stop acting stupid,” said Michelle. “We came here for your help. This is my friend, Alexei Yagudin.”
Of course Mathman was well acquainted with the career of the Russian star -- after all, he had won as many world championships as Michelle had -- and he shook his hand warmly.
Michelle gave Mathman the briefest of summaries of their situation and produced the coded message:
46385039563281947329523165099453765093423
95847736652439685774635455524069583543867
84326546656487706988354622735314638673934
75649903895647213749507650084637643368457
75640957463958649306576673421875643865719
64287476453374465438576396004585763446586
85746967867325467532658665539585652218594
756483975694653968753647602747
“So what do you think, Mathman,” asked Michelle. “Is it really a code? Can you decode it?”
“It’s not a code, its a cipher,” replied Mathman. “A code is based on a secret agreement on the part of the two parties. ‘One if by land, two if by sea.’ That’s a code. It can’t be broken by cryptanalysis. A cipher is a substitution of letters or numbers according to a specific formula. Every cipher can be broken in principle if the message is long enough.”
“Well, never mind that, Mathman,” Michelle said impatiently. “Can you break this ‘cipher’ or not?”
“Well,” answered Mathman, “it’s obviously a Rivest, Shamir and Adleman, or RSA Public Key cipher. See these 30 digits down at the bottom? That’s the “public key.” Every member of the network has access to the public key, and in principle the message can be deciphered with this information alone.”
“In principle?” asked Alexei, joining in now for the first time.
“Yes, Alexei,” responded Mathman, “in the sense that there is a well defined algorithm to produce the plaintext from the ciphertext. The advantage to this method is that if a particular agent is captured or killed before he can carry out the encrypted instructions, another member of the network can step in without extensive rebriefing. But without the contributions of the ith and jth private keys, when operative i is communicating with operative j, it takes an impractically large amount of computer time -- weeks, perhaps, to do all of the calculations.”
“Well, we don’t have weeks, Mathman,” explained Michelle. ”The long program in the Friendship Games is Saturday, and if we don’t have this all cleared up by then, and the Bronze Horseman returned, I think that something terrible is going to happen.”
“Fortunately, Michelle,” Mathman said, “I have just been working on a new subroutine that ought to speed up the computations considerably. This will be a good chance to test it.”
Mathman took the piece of paper from Michelle and ran it through his scanner. He typed in a command and pressed “enter.” Immediately the printer came on line, printing out a series of letters.
“Hmm,” said Mathman, still looking at the computer screen. “0.08 seconds. I still have some work to do on the program, I see.”
But Michelle and Alexei were looking at the printout.
“Mathman,” Alexei said in bewilderment. “This is just a bunch of gibberish!”
Indeed, the printed message was:
EM JUN MGO WONM AK METON,
EM JUN MGO JATNM AK METON,
EM JUN MGO UDO AK JENRAT,
EM JUN MGO UDO AK KAAZENGFONN,
EM JUN MGO OQAHG AK WOZEOK,
EM JUNE MGO OQAHG AK EFHYORIZEMS,
EM JUN MGO NQYEFD AK GAQO,
EMJUN MGO JEFMOY AK RONUEY.
Michelle looked at Mathman suspiciously.
“Very funny, Mathman,” she said in annoyance, “but where’s the plaintext?”
“Oh,” Mathman answered, “that’s all this decryption program can do, separate the message into English words with a random assignment of letters. Now we have to use probabilistic techniques.”
“Well,” said Michelle, “I don’t see how that’s any better than those stupid numbers.”
“Oh, its much better,“ was the answer. “Not only is the message divided naturally into words, but look at this -- each work can actually be pronounced. Sort of. You need a little imagination for MGO and JATNM. But that means that vowels have been substituted for vowels and consonants for consonants. Otherwise you'd have words with no vowels and you couldn't pronounce it, like xcprtzf or tschrnchv.”
Michelle looked again at the still-encrypted message which Vera had given her -- was it only yesterday? Probabilistic techniques?
“Well, let’s see,” Michelle thought out loud. “I know that E is the most common letter in English, so... Hah, the letter O occurs 22 times in this message -- more than any other letter. So let's go with O for E.”
“OK,” added Alexei. “And now the word MGO occurs 8 times and so does JUN. The most common 3-letter word in English is THE. Since O is really E, MGO must be THE. So M is T and G is H.”
Michelle took up the analysis again: "OK Now. The first word in every line, EM, is really _T. So it must be IT or AT. If we try IT, then each line starts with
IT _ _ _ THE
and the middle letter is a vowel, not e or i.”
"IT WAS THE...!" shouted Alexei. “You know, this would be easier for me if it was in Russian.”
“But then you'd be on your own,” Michelle laughed. “Two heads are better than one. OK, now we know we know three of the vowels, A, E, and I. Since O is much more common than U, ciphertext A is probably plaintext O. That means that AK is either "of, "or," or "on." Let's try "of" first. So if we put in all the letters we know so far, let's see now..."
IT WAS THE _EST OF TI_ES,
IT WAS THE WO_ST OF TI_ES.
IT WAS THE A_E OF WIS_O_,
IT WAS THE A_E OF FOO_ISH_ESS.
IT WAS THE E_O_H OF _E_IEF,
IT WAS THE E_O_H OF I_ _ _E_U_IT_....
IT WAS THE S_ _I_ _ OF _O_E,
IT WAS THE WI_TE_ OF _ES_AIR.
The three stared at the message for some seconds. Suddenly Michelle spoke:
“Alexei! Mathman!
“It was the best of times. it was the worst of times,
“It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
“It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of ... What's the opposite of belief?
“Incredulity?” offered Mathman, incredulous.
“...the epoch of incredulity,” Michelle continued.
"It was the -- something -- of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
“Spring of hope!” Alexei joined in. “The spring of hope, the winter of despair.”
Alexei and Michelle looked at each other.
“That's it?“ said Alexei in bewilderment. “That's the message? What is it saying?”
“Just a minute, Aloysha.” Michelle’s mind was racing a mile a minute. “Aloysha! This is the opening paragraph of A Tale of Two Cities, by Dickens. ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’ Yeah. The two cities were London and Paris and it was the time leading up the French revolution.”
“Well, Viva la France,” was Alexei’s reply, “but what does that have to do with us?”
But Michelle was on a roll.
“OK, think about it,” she said. “Two cities. Two countries. Russia and the United States. The Friendship games. The Bronze Horseman on loan from The Hermitage to the National Museum of Art. Washington, D.C., and ... where is the Hermitage, anyway, Moscow or Lenningrad?”
“Len..,” Alexei began. “I mean St. Petersburg. They changed the name back. It’s the old Czarist capital.”
That struck another bell with Michelle.
“St. Petersburg?” she exclaimed. “Isn’t that where Count Von Petrick has his second estate, along with the Von Egan holdings in Luxembourg? It all seems to be coming together now. The Tale of Two Cities. Washington and St. Petersberg. I think the key to the missing Horseman is there, in St. Petersberg. Mathman, can you help?”
Thirty minutes later Michelle Kwan and Alexei Yagudin, 8 world championships between them, were on a State Department jet streaking toward Russia through the cloudless skies.
-----------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------
Back to you, Alice Lou.
Weave your spell, Alice L.
(If you please, Alice Louise.)
E
eltamina
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, Part 12
Good story. I said this is a board of the BBB, don't know about bovine and beef, Definitley there are a lot of briany people here.
Mathman LOL :lol:
"Mathman looked up from his desk.
“Michelle,” he gasped, “it really IS you.” -- and fainted dead away.
Oh brother, thought Michelle, we don’t have time for this. She picked up a vase of flowers from the corner of the desk and emptied it over Mathman’s head. Artificial flowers and little glass marbles bounced off his head and rolled across the floor. But it did the trick, as Mathman slowly regained consciousness"
You forgot to tell us that Mathman was playing Lyra Angelica concerto for harp and orchestra when Michelle walked into his office.
BTW, off topic here have you finished reading that book on the Hadyn quartets? Is it a book on the quartets composed by Hadyn or is it a book on the Hadyn quarters written by Mozart in honor of Hadyn?
Good story. I said this is a board of the BBB, don't know about bovine and beef, Definitley there are a lot of briany people here.
Mathman LOL :lol:
"Mathman looked up from his desk.
“Michelle,” he gasped, “it really IS you.” -- and fainted dead away.
Oh brother, thought Michelle, we don’t have time for this. She picked up a vase of flowers from the corner of the desk and emptied it over Mathman’s head. Artificial flowers and little glass marbles bounced off his head and rolled across the floor. But it did the trick, as Mathman slowly regained consciousness"
You forgot to tell us that Mathman was playing Lyra Angelica concerto for harp and orchestra when Michelle walked into his office.
BTW, off topic here have you finished reading that book on the Hadyn quartets? Is it a book on the quartets composed by Hadyn or is it a book on the Hadyn quarters written by Mozart in honor of Hadyn?
E
eltamina
Guest
The Bronze Horseman, Part 12.5
After 3 hours of flight the plane landed, Michelle looked out and saw the familiar sky line of LA. Before she could ask any questions, she saw Robert Tan boarding the plane. Then it was announced that they would make a stop in Singapore first.
After 3 hours of flight the plane landed, Michelle looked out and saw the familiar sky line of LA. Before she could ask any questions, she saw Robert Tan boarding the plane. Then it was announced that they would make a stop in Singapore first.
M
mathman444
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, Part 12
Eltamina writes -- You forgot to tell us that Mathman was playing Lyra Angelica concerto for harp and orchestra when Michelle walked into his office.
What I really forgot to say was:
As Mathman lay unconscious on the floor, Michelle got a good look at him for the first time. Hey, thought Michelle, he really DOES look like a cross between Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Billy Dee Williams, all in their prime. I wonder if he plays hockey. If only he were 30 years younger. Oh, well.
About the Haydn book, since no one seems to be reading this story except you, why not go off topic? (By the way, a new character is about to appear, the mysterious "El Tah." Guess what El Tah's last name is? OTHER AUTHORS, ESPECIALLY FREDDY -- DON'T JUMP THE GUN ON THIS NEW CHARACTER, OK?)
Anyway, its about the 45 "great" quartets composed by Haydn (the author's opinion about which ones are "great"). The book is a very highly technical exegesis, note by note in some cases, of the scores, with an eye toward telling the reader/student how to play each passage -- what bowing and fingering technique to use, how to phase it, etc. If the reader is not a fiddler him/herself, as I am not, he/she won't understand all of the terms. It's way over my head. ("How can one thus describe a complex, monothematic ternary form with a fugal middle section wherein the brilliant, stressedly homophonic theme suddenly discloses its contrapunctal potentialities?" How, indeed?) But I was reading it again because I thought that it made some points that were relevant to the discussion that you and Joe were having about "bravura vs. cantabile styles."
I wanted to contribute to that discussion, just to show how smart I am, but it didn't work out. You and Joe have priced yourself out of the market, so to speak, with that one. Your punishment is that now that thread (the most interesting one on the board) is way down at the bottom and will be bumped off the first page soon, all because no one can keep up with you.
The reason that I had the book in the first place is that I once sent Lori Nichol an idea for choreography for Opus 76, no. 5 (all four movements), and also Opus 76, no. 4 (the "Sunrise Quartet"), first movement, for Michelle. (It's hard to believe, but Lori didn't use either of my ideas -- nor any of the other ten that I sent her that year.) So I wanted to read up on these particular quartets so that I would know what I was talking about.
Mathman
Eltamina writes -- You forgot to tell us that Mathman was playing Lyra Angelica concerto for harp and orchestra when Michelle walked into his office.
What I really forgot to say was:
As Mathman lay unconscious on the floor, Michelle got a good look at him for the first time. Hey, thought Michelle, he really DOES look like a cross between Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Billy Dee Williams, all in their prime. I wonder if he plays hockey. If only he were 30 years younger. Oh, well.
About the Haydn book, since no one seems to be reading this story except you, why not go off topic? (By the way, a new character is about to appear, the mysterious "El Tah." Guess what El Tah's last name is? OTHER AUTHORS, ESPECIALLY FREDDY -- DON'T JUMP THE GUN ON THIS NEW CHARACTER, OK?)
Anyway, its about the 45 "great" quartets composed by Haydn (the author's opinion about which ones are "great"). The book is a very highly technical exegesis, note by note in some cases, of the scores, with an eye toward telling the reader/student how to play each passage -- what bowing and fingering technique to use, how to phase it, etc. If the reader is not a fiddler him/herself, as I am not, he/she won't understand all of the terms. It's way over my head. ("How can one thus describe a complex, monothematic ternary form with a fugal middle section wherein the brilliant, stressedly homophonic theme suddenly discloses its contrapunctal potentialities?" How, indeed?) But I was reading it again because I thought that it made some points that were relevant to the discussion that you and Joe were having about "bravura vs. cantabile styles."
I wanted to contribute to that discussion, just to show how smart I am, but it didn't work out. You and Joe have priced yourself out of the market, so to speak, with that one. Your punishment is that now that thread (the most interesting one on the board) is way down at the bottom and will be bumped off the first page soon, all because no one can keep up with you.
The reason that I had the book in the first place is that I once sent Lori Nichol an idea for choreography for Opus 76, no. 5 (all four movements), and also Opus 76, no. 4 (the "Sunrise Quartet"), first movement, for Michelle. (It's hard to believe, but Lori didn't use either of my ideas -- nor any of the other ten that I sent her that year.) So I wanted to read up on these particular quartets so that I would know what I was talking about.
Mathman
M
mathman444
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, Part 12.5
Eltamina writes: Before she could ask any questions, she saw Robert Tan boarding the plane. Then it was announced that they would make a stop in Singapore first.
You read my mind! Why don't you take this part yourself, El?
Unless Alice Louise wants to take us to Russia first. Are you still on board, Buzz?
Mathman
Eltamina writes: Before she could ask any questions, she saw Robert Tan boarding the plane. Then it was announced that they would make a stop in Singapore first.
You read my mind! Why don't you take this part yourself, El?
Unless Alice Louise wants to take us to Russia first. Are you still on board, Buzz?
Mathman
E
eltamina
Guest
The Bronze Horseman, Part 12
"What I really forgot to say was:
As Mathman lay unconscious on the floor, Michelle got a good look at him for the first time. Hey, thought Michelle, he really DOES look like a cross between Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Billy Dee Williams, all in their prime. I wonder if he plays hockey. If only he were 30 years younger. Oh, well"
Actually, what really happened was that Mathman fainted, and Michelle gave him a kiss on his forehead and woke him up.
"Your punishment is that now that thread (the most interesting one on the board) is way down at the bottom and will be bumped off the first page soon, all because no one can keep up with you."
Now that I did you a favor for giving you a fictional kiss from Michelle, you have to return a favor and read my thread on AP and soup. :lol:
"The reason that I had the book in the first place is that I once sent Lori Nichol an idea for choreography for Opus 76, no. 5 (all four movements), and also Opus 76, no. 4 (the "Sunrise Quartet"), first movement, for Michelle. (It's hard to believe, but Lori didn't use either of my ideas -- nor any of the other ten that I sent her that year.) So I wanted to read up on these particular quartets so that I would know what I was talking about"
Well, join the club, when does Lori ever listen to us, I sent her a tape of a piece of music for Michelle once. Of course she never used it.
Others, go ahead and write the next part of the story. I can't write.
"What I really forgot to say was:
As Mathman lay unconscious on the floor, Michelle got a good look at him for the first time. Hey, thought Michelle, he really DOES look like a cross between Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Billy Dee Williams, all in their prime. I wonder if he plays hockey. If only he were 30 years younger. Oh, well"
Actually, what really happened was that Mathman fainted, and Michelle gave him a kiss on his forehead and woke him up.
"Your punishment is that now that thread (the most interesting one on the board) is way down at the bottom and will be bumped off the first page soon, all because no one can keep up with you."
Now that I did you a favor for giving you a fictional kiss from Michelle, you have to return a favor and read my thread on AP and soup. :lol:
"The reason that I had the book in the first place is that I once sent Lori Nichol an idea for choreography for Opus 76, no. 5 (all four movements), and also Opus 76, no. 4 (the "Sunrise Quartet"), first movement, for Michelle. (It's hard to believe, but Lori didn't use either of my ideas -- nor any of the other ten that I sent her that year.) So I wanted to read up on these particular quartets so that I would know what I was talking about"
Well, join the club, when does Lori ever listen to us, I sent her a tape of a piece of music for Michelle once. Of course she never used it.
Others, go ahead and write the next part of the story. I can't write.
F
Freddy the Pig 2
Guest
The Bronze Horseman, part 13
The Adventure of the Missing Bronze Horseman, A Michelle Kwan Mystery by Alice Louise et. al.
Chapter 13, by Freddy
Alexei and Michelle huddled together in the small but sumptuously furnished room in which their captors had left them. They were still bound, but not uncomfortably so, as if Robert Tan wished to show some compassion for his victims after all. Two armed guards could be seen through the glass doors leading to a larger drawing room, also furnished eclectically in a mixture of Asian and European period pieces.
They had not seen Mr. Tan since observing him through the airplane window as he had boarded in Los Angeles. After an uneventful trip of several hours, during which they were left alone in the main cabin of the plane, they had landed in what Michelle assumed was Singapore. Several armed men, of a hodge-podge of nationalities, had then entered the cabin. Michelle and Alexei had been blindfolded and taken off the plane into a waiting car. After an hour's ride of twists and turns and a long uphill grade (so it seemed to Michelle who was trying without much success to keep track of the route), they were pulled out of the car and led up a short flight of steps. A few minutes later the blindfolds were removed, and they blinked around at their new predicament. Michelle drew some comfort from the fact that they had not been treated roughly by their abductors -- yet. In fact, Michelle had managed to work her hands free from the bounds without much effort.
Just then she felt a buzzing in the waistband of her shorts. It was the cell phone that Mr. Burns had left with her! Feeling certain that this was Mr. Tan's enigmatic way of beginning contact, she flipped the phone open in anger.
"Hello! .. what? ... Kristi? ... who? ... Oh, Professor Hingenboogle."
It was indeed the archaeologist, calling over a precarious and static-filled connection.
"Professor," said Michelle, "do you know anything about all this? I need help right away.... what? ... Trust the .... Trust who? ... Trust the Vivors? ... Who ..... Professor, I ..."
The line was dead.
"What was that, Chelle," asked Alexei, struggling to sit upright.
"I ... it was that archaeology professor I told you about. The expert on the Bronze Horseman. I don't know if he knew we were in trouble or not. He said, trust somebody. I couldn't make it out. Trust the Vivors. Vivors. Something like that."
"Can the professor send help," Alexei asked.
"I don't know, Alexei," Michelle replied. "I think we'd better assume we're on our own. Uh, oh."
Uh, oh, indeed. The two guards, pausing in their conversation to check on their captives through the doorway, now rushed in. One swarthy pock-faced brute snatched the cell phone from Michelle's hand.
"I see," he leered into her face, "that we didn't search you thoroughly enough."
He reached out a beefy paw in Michelle's direction, but just then Alexei kicked out with both feet, catching the guard square on the kneecap, just below the patella Kerrigansi. The guard collapsed in a writhing heap. But before Alexei could follow up on his attack, the other door swung open and in strode Robert Tan.
Ignoring both Alexei and the guards, the dapper Mr. Tan turned his full attention to Michelle.
"So we meet again, Miss Kwan," he said. "On my turf. Maybe the playing field is not so level after all."
Michelle gave a hurried whisper to Alexei, who was still struggling mightily in his bonds to come to Michelle's defense.
"Don't worry, Aloysha," she said softly, "I've got this guy's number."
She raised her head coyly and met Robert Tan's eyes.
"Don't waste your time, Miss Kwan," said Mr. Tan. "Frankly, your seductress act is too lame for words. What is this, a reprise of Salome? You ooze wholesomeness in everything you do, Michelle. That's why idiots like Mathman like you so much. But either way it won't cut any ice with me."
Michelle didn't know whether to feel insulted or relieved.
"Well, Mr. Tan," asked Michelle, "if you don't want ME, what do you want?"
Robert Tan paused for dramatic effect. Then he slowly turned his gaze to Alexei. He pointed directly at the Russian star.
"HIM," said Robert Tan. "I want him, and now I have him."
"Now hold on, there, Jack!" protested Alexei. "Don't believe everything you read about male figure skaters!"
"You cut me to the quick, Mr. Yagudin," replied the industrialist. "I am not the roué that I pretend to be in my public persona. Not at all. I am a connoisseur, Mr. Yagudin. A collector.”
“So we heard,” interposed Michelle.
For the first time in the entire bizarre adventure Michelle was becoming truly concerned for their safety. A would-be playboy on the make is one thing. But it was becoming more and more clear now that behind this conventional facade lurked ... insanity.
Trying to steer the conversation into safer waters, she asked:
“Mr. Tan, tell me flat out. Did you steal the Bronze Horseman for your art collection?”
“Oh, no, my dear,” was the reply. “I had nothing to do with that. Although it is an interesting piece, and I might bid on it should it be offered on the black market. No, no, Michelle, you still don’t understand. I am not a collector of art.”
“I don’t get it,” said Michelle. “You just said that you are a collector. If you don’t collect art, what do you collect?”
Mr. Tan turned his face toward Michelle. How had she not noticed before the preternatural shine of lunacy in his deep set dark eyes?
“Artists, my dear,” said Robert Tan. “I collect artists.”
The Adventure of the Missing Bronze Horseman, A Michelle Kwan Mystery by Alice Louise et. al.
Chapter 13, by Freddy
Alexei and Michelle huddled together in the small but sumptuously furnished room in which their captors had left them. They were still bound, but not uncomfortably so, as if Robert Tan wished to show some compassion for his victims after all. Two armed guards could be seen through the glass doors leading to a larger drawing room, also furnished eclectically in a mixture of Asian and European period pieces.
They had not seen Mr. Tan since observing him through the airplane window as he had boarded in Los Angeles. After an uneventful trip of several hours, during which they were left alone in the main cabin of the plane, they had landed in what Michelle assumed was Singapore. Several armed men, of a hodge-podge of nationalities, had then entered the cabin. Michelle and Alexei had been blindfolded and taken off the plane into a waiting car. After an hour's ride of twists and turns and a long uphill grade (so it seemed to Michelle who was trying without much success to keep track of the route), they were pulled out of the car and led up a short flight of steps. A few minutes later the blindfolds were removed, and they blinked around at their new predicament. Michelle drew some comfort from the fact that they had not been treated roughly by their abductors -- yet. In fact, Michelle had managed to work her hands free from the bounds without much effort.
Just then she felt a buzzing in the waistband of her shorts. It was the cell phone that Mr. Burns had left with her! Feeling certain that this was Mr. Tan's enigmatic way of beginning contact, she flipped the phone open in anger.
"Hello! .. what? ... Kristi? ... who? ... Oh, Professor Hingenboogle."
It was indeed the archaeologist, calling over a precarious and static-filled connection.
"Professor," said Michelle, "do you know anything about all this? I need help right away.... what? ... Trust the .... Trust who? ... Trust the Vivors? ... Who ..... Professor, I ..."
The line was dead.
"What was that, Chelle," asked Alexei, struggling to sit upright.
"I ... it was that archaeology professor I told you about. The expert on the Bronze Horseman. I don't know if he knew we were in trouble or not. He said, trust somebody. I couldn't make it out. Trust the Vivors. Vivors. Something like that."
"Can the professor send help," Alexei asked.
"I don't know, Alexei," Michelle replied. "I think we'd better assume we're on our own. Uh, oh."
Uh, oh, indeed. The two guards, pausing in their conversation to check on their captives through the doorway, now rushed in. One swarthy pock-faced brute snatched the cell phone from Michelle's hand.
"I see," he leered into her face, "that we didn't search you thoroughly enough."
He reached out a beefy paw in Michelle's direction, but just then Alexei kicked out with both feet, catching the guard square on the kneecap, just below the patella Kerrigansi. The guard collapsed in a writhing heap. But before Alexei could follow up on his attack, the other door swung open and in strode Robert Tan.
Ignoring both Alexei and the guards, the dapper Mr. Tan turned his full attention to Michelle.
"So we meet again, Miss Kwan," he said. "On my turf. Maybe the playing field is not so level after all."
Michelle gave a hurried whisper to Alexei, who was still struggling mightily in his bonds to come to Michelle's defense.
"Don't worry, Aloysha," she said softly, "I've got this guy's number."
She raised her head coyly and met Robert Tan's eyes.
"Don't waste your time, Miss Kwan," said Mr. Tan. "Frankly, your seductress act is too lame for words. What is this, a reprise of Salome? You ooze wholesomeness in everything you do, Michelle. That's why idiots like Mathman like you so much. But either way it won't cut any ice with me."
Michelle didn't know whether to feel insulted or relieved.
"Well, Mr. Tan," asked Michelle, "if you don't want ME, what do you want?"
Robert Tan paused for dramatic effect. Then he slowly turned his gaze to Alexei. He pointed directly at the Russian star.
"HIM," said Robert Tan. "I want him, and now I have him."
"Now hold on, there, Jack!" protested Alexei. "Don't believe everything you read about male figure skaters!"
"You cut me to the quick, Mr. Yagudin," replied the industrialist. "I am not the roué that I pretend to be in my public persona. Not at all. I am a connoisseur, Mr. Yagudin. A collector.”
“So we heard,” interposed Michelle.
For the first time in the entire bizarre adventure Michelle was becoming truly concerned for their safety. A would-be playboy on the make is one thing. But it was becoming more and more clear now that behind this conventional facade lurked ... insanity.
Trying to steer the conversation into safer waters, she asked:
“Mr. Tan, tell me flat out. Did you steal the Bronze Horseman for your art collection?”
“Oh, no, my dear,” was the reply. “I had nothing to do with that. Although it is an interesting piece, and I might bid on it should it be offered on the black market. No, no, Michelle, you still don’t understand. I am not a collector of art.”
“I don’t get it,” said Michelle. “You just said that you are a collector. If you don’t collect art, what do you collect?”
Mr. Tan turned his face toward Michelle. How had she not noticed before the preternatural shine of lunacy in his deep set dark eyes?
“Artists, my dear,” said Robert Tan. “I collect artists.”
M
mathman444
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
I don't get it. Why did Robert Tan want Alexei for his collection but not Michelle?
I don't get it. Why did Robert Tan want Alexei for his collection but not Michelle?
F
Freddy the Pig 2
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
Did Michelle win the Olympic gold medal?
Did Michelle win the Olympic gold medal?
M
mathman444
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
You mean . . .
You mean . . .
F
Freddy the Pig 2
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
Yes. That fall on her triple flip saved Michelle's life!
Yes. That fall on her triple flip saved Michelle's life!
D
DrWatson
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
No poetry today, Master Pig?
No poetry today, Master Pig?
F
Freddy the Pig 2
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
Oh, gimme my boots and gimme my saddle,
for back to the range I'm gonna skedaddle.
(with a yip yip yippy doodle day)
Oh, gimme my boots and gimme my saddle,
for back to the range I'm gonna skedaddle.
(with a yip yip yippy doodle day)
D
DrWatson
Guest
Re: The Bronze Horseman, part 13
Cease! Desist! Have you no mercy?
Cease! Desist! Have you no mercy?
E
eltamina
Guest
Re: Michelle Kwan Mystery-The Missing Bronze Horseman
Time: 9/02
Place: somewhere in L.A.
Michelle is talking to Brian Boitano on her cell phone. Brian congratulates her on the winning team work with Alexi, they skated 2 immortal programs in the American Russian Friendly Games in August. Americans fall in love with Alexi skating, and Russians are crazy about Michelle. The glass statue “Passion of Skating” with Michelle’s legendary inside edge spiral is on display at the Hermitage. The bronze Horseman is back in the National museum of art.
Robert Tan is confined to his father’s (Tan senior) villa in Hawaii. He is not allowed to cause trouble anymore. In exchange, he is allowed daily Luau, eating unlimited amount of roast pigs, with a touch of bovine brains, and beef from time to time, some connoisseur.Tan Senior hired Freddy as the chef, ("only the best for my boy" Tan Senior) so Robert is relatively happy.
Michelle felt fortunate that Robert Tan only took them to Hawaii (the plane was only in the air for a few hours, 8 hours to be exact, L.A. to Singapore = 20 hours). She would never have escaped without the help of Math man, Dr. Watson, AP, Alexis, and the ostentatious Ann Sophie Mutter.
Brian is in a hurry and Michelle has to cut short the narration. Briefly, Robert collected Alexi – Olympic champion, AP, junior world champion, and Ann Sophie Mutter, so called first lady of the violin for a private recital. Dr. Watson the world famous expert on herbalology was kidnapped too. Why? Because Robert Tan was too intimidated by the Wisdom of Mathman, and the Beauty of Michelle (People’s magazine 50), he needed to take care of the pain through chemistry. (Honestly, if he thought Mutter was worth collecting then, he really needed some herbs from Watson). Dr. Watson of course had a different plan for Robert. Watson gave Robert Tan a strong dose of Valerian root extract, and that took care of him. AP, and Alexi cut Michelle and Mathman loose with their skate blades (not Swiss Army knife). Everyone escaped.
Michelle did not have time to tell Brian about the rest of the adventure, but the GS writers have chronicled that in their message board. Brian promised to check that out.
Time: 9/02
Place: somewhere in L.A.
Michelle is talking to Brian Boitano on her cell phone. Brian congratulates her on the winning team work with Alexi, they skated 2 immortal programs in the American Russian Friendly Games in August. Americans fall in love with Alexi skating, and Russians are crazy about Michelle. The glass statue “Passion of Skating” with Michelle’s legendary inside edge spiral is on display at the Hermitage. The bronze Horseman is back in the National museum of art.
Robert Tan is confined to his father’s (Tan senior) villa in Hawaii. He is not allowed to cause trouble anymore. In exchange, he is allowed daily Luau, eating unlimited amount of roast pigs, with a touch of bovine brains, and beef from time to time, some connoisseur.Tan Senior hired Freddy as the chef, ("only the best for my boy" Tan Senior) so Robert is relatively happy.
Michelle felt fortunate that Robert Tan only took them to Hawaii (the plane was only in the air for a few hours, 8 hours to be exact, L.A. to Singapore = 20 hours). She would never have escaped without the help of Math man, Dr. Watson, AP, Alexis, and the ostentatious Ann Sophie Mutter.
Brian is in a hurry and Michelle has to cut short the narration. Briefly, Robert collected Alexi – Olympic champion, AP, junior world champion, and Ann Sophie Mutter, so called first lady of the violin for a private recital. Dr. Watson the world famous expert on herbalology was kidnapped too. Why? Because Robert Tan was too intimidated by the Wisdom of Mathman, and the Beauty of Michelle (People’s magazine 50), he needed to take care of the pain through chemistry. (Honestly, if he thought Mutter was worth collecting then, he really needed some herbs from Watson). Dr. Watson of course had a different plan for Robert. Watson gave Robert Tan a strong dose of Valerian root extract, and that took care of him. AP, and Alexi cut Michelle and Mathman loose with their skate blades (not Swiss Army knife). Everyone escaped.
Michelle did not have time to tell Brian about the rest of the adventure, but the GS writers have chronicled that in their message board. Brian promised to check that out.
M
mathman444
Guest
Re: Michelle Kwan Mystery-The Missing Bronze Horseman
Eltamina writes: "I can't write."
A preposterous hypothesis contradicted daily on this very board! Take the sentence, "Michelle gave [Mathman] a kiss on the forehead." Literary genius! A sentence that richly repays the hours of contemplation that I have devoted to it.
9/02
LA
"But Michelle," said Brian, "didn't you say that you were on a special State Department jet which Mathman arranged for you? Those jets cruise at Mach 1.5 (one and a half times the speed of sound in air, which as you know is about 331.46 meters per second, depending on temperature, altitude, humidity and the level of concentration of CO2), or about 497 meters per second. The air distance from Los Angeles to Singapore is about 8770 miles, or 14146 kilometers, which works out to a flight time of about 7.9 hours. So if you estimate that your trip took 8 hours, you must have gone to Singapore after all.
"But I have terrible news for you, Michelle. Mathman is very sick in the hospital. After you kissed him he shellacked his forehead so that the kiss would never wear off. But the shellac seeped into his brain and gave him all of the symptoms of spongiform encephalopathy, or mad cow disease. He asked his good friend Freddy
www.freddythepig.org/
to write a poem for his tombstone, and this is what Freddy came up with:
Shelly kiss'd me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Shelly kiss'd me.
(Jenny kissed me, by James Leigh Hunt)
Mathman
Eltamina writes: "I can't write."
A preposterous hypothesis contradicted daily on this very board! Take the sentence, "Michelle gave [Mathman] a kiss on the forehead." Literary genius! A sentence that richly repays the hours of contemplation that I have devoted to it.
9/02
LA
"But Michelle," said Brian, "didn't you say that you were on a special State Department jet which Mathman arranged for you? Those jets cruise at Mach 1.5 (one and a half times the speed of sound in air, which as you know is about 331.46 meters per second, depending on temperature, altitude, humidity and the level of concentration of CO2), or about 497 meters per second. The air distance from Los Angeles to Singapore is about 8770 miles, or 14146 kilometers, which works out to a flight time of about 7.9 hours. So if you estimate that your trip took 8 hours, you must have gone to Singapore after all.
"But I have terrible news for you, Michelle. Mathman is very sick in the hospital. After you kissed him he shellacked his forehead so that the kiss would never wear off. But the shellac seeped into his brain and gave him all of the symptoms of spongiform encephalopathy, or mad cow disease. He asked his good friend Freddy
www.freddythepig.org/
to write a poem for his tombstone, and this is what Freddy came up with:
Shelly kiss'd me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Shelly kiss'd me.
(Jenny kissed me, by James Leigh Hunt)
Mathman
E
eltamina
Guest
Michell'e Lipstick
9/02
LA
Michelle sniffed and sobbed, “Oh no Brian, Mathman is sick?”
Brian, “Don’t worry too much, he is in a hospital, and our good friend Dr. Watson is treating him now.”
Michelle,” Sick from shellac! It simply can’t be. Reformulated shellac and sucrose ester is just a compound derived from sugar and fatty acid. A cosmetic company one time approached me to endorse lipsticks made from these natural materials. In addition to being shiny and beautiful, shellac/sucrose taste so SWEET!!! perfect as ingredients for lipsticks. I have tried the lipsticks made of shellac/sucrose many times, nothing seeped in, or gave me symptoms of spongiform encephalopathy.”
Brian, “Well, that makes sense. Maybe you can cure Mathman’s condition.”
Michelle, “How, I will do anything.”
Brian, “It all started when you kissed his forehead, so you may have to kiss his forehead again.”
P.S. Mathman, I did you another favor, you are going to receive a second fictional kiss from Michelle, it is time for you to return a favor and write something in the Bravura thread
9/02
LA
Michelle sniffed and sobbed, “Oh no Brian, Mathman is sick?”
Brian, “Don’t worry too much, he is in a hospital, and our good friend Dr. Watson is treating him now.”
Michelle,” Sick from shellac! It simply can’t be. Reformulated shellac and sucrose ester is just a compound derived from sugar and fatty acid. A cosmetic company one time approached me to endorse lipsticks made from these natural materials. In addition to being shiny and beautiful, shellac/sucrose taste so SWEET!!! perfect as ingredients for lipsticks. I have tried the lipsticks made of shellac/sucrose many times, nothing seeped in, or gave me symptoms of spongiform encephalopathy.”
Brian, “Well, that makes sense. Maybe you can cure Mathman’s condition.”
Michelle, “How, I will do anything.”
Brian, “It all started when you kissed his forehead, so you may have to kiss his forehead again.”
P.S. Mathman, I did you another favor, you are going to receive a second fictional kiss from Michelle, it is time for you to return a favor and write something in the Bravura thread
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