top 10 U.S. pairs excuses

[humbaba]

The sub-par performances of pair teams at the recent U.S. nationals means that our skaters will be needing a few good excuses to boost their morale. Just in case they need a little help, I’m offering my own list -- pair skaters’ TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR SCREWING UP AT THE NATIONALS:

1. 
   [10] Distraught over Britney Spears annulment.
   [9] Airport security confiscated the 130 lbs. of sequins we planned to sew onto our costumes. We just felt naked without them.
   [8] All the talk about the 10th anniversary of TONYA & NANCY made us nervous.
   [7] The ice was too cold.
   [6] The dog ate our boot laces.
   [5] Visited local tourist trap, Underground Atlanta. Got lost in maze-like tunnels. Wandered for days without water. Lost practice time. Got dehydrated.
   [4] My bra strap broke.
   [3] My jockstrap broke.
   [2] Had to break up fist fight between Dick Button and Peggy Fleming. Sustained multiple injuries which affected our performance.
   [1] We didn't want to peak too early.
   [/list=1]

 

[rain]

That's hilarious..... How about this:

(11) We meant to do it that way - we felt that the throw with her landing so dramatically on her backside would really set us apart in this competitive field. We're actually planning to name this manouvre after ourselves.

 

[brenlynn]

funny... yet sad at the same time! these poor kids work their butts off. hell, i wish i could be as good as them not being that good at all. does that make sense?!

 

[berthes ghost]

"I don't think about the others. I just skate for myself. Unfortuneately, I don't have very high expectations for myself."

" Atlanta just isn't my town. I was so hyped up on all that free Coke, I couldn't concentrate."

"Just before our turn, we watched a skating bloopers tape which showed Surya doing a back filp, Midori and Hubert crashing, and Sasha 'stalking' MK, and it all just psyched us out."

" First Pheonix in 93, now this. When will the USFSA learn that one just can't skate a clean nats in the south"

" the 10 year aniversary of 'Tonya/Nancy' just got to us. We were really expecting another attack, terrorist just love aniversary dates"

"This old German lady just kept giving us evil stares. I could have sworn it was Kat Witt wearing a babushka, but when I went to go confront her later, she was mysteriously gone"

"We pettioned the USFSA to change the LP date to when our houses are aligned with pluto, but they just wouldn't listen. It's obvious that the whole thing was fixed from the get go"

"Anti-semitism. Pure anti-semitism. What? Yes I know that we're not jewish, but that just proves how vast the conspiracy is"

"Racism and Homophobia. Yes, my dog kept running all around back stage and then licking himself. I could just tell by the look on the judges faces that we were going to be marked down"

"We believe ourselves to be victims of a 'vast right-wing conspiracy'. I am telling you now, I did not awkwardly throw that woman".

 

[Doggygirl]

"We were thrown off by and Elvis sighting...

....and we were RIGHT!! Elvis WAS spotted in the arena on Sunday!!"

dG

 

[JonnyCoop]

"We're like really into this new postmodern style wherein everything is SUPPOSED to be executed incorrectly; the only real mistakes we made in our program was when we landed the jumps and spun correctly; in about 10 years EVERYONE is going to be skating like this and we're just ahead of our time and it'll take the judges a while to catch up. We would have actually fallen out of our death spirals too except we're not entirely used to doing it the new way yet so we forgot."

 

[mpal2]

You obviously missed the practices. There were far too many falls on death spirals. It was kind of sad.

However, after watching a lot of the new pairs arrivals from Juniors and the current crop of Junior pairs, I do feel there is hope for us yet.

 

[Piel]

Trying to undo the image of greedy Americans we wanted there to be lots of places for other countries at next year's Worlds.

Too busy hitting each over the head for not thinking of using Dueling Banjos...the perfect pairs music.

Solidarity for Timmy, Naomi and Peter. If they aren't going to Worlds than neither are we.

Too much Georgia on our minds messed with muscle memory.

Wanted to see 0.0 across the board before COP takes over.

Heard that winning pair got free week at Neverland.

Guys too busy watching reruns of Michelle's short program to practice.

Girls too busy calling Vera Wang for "one of those purple dresses" to practice.

 

[Mathman]

Too busy hitting each over the head for not thinking of using Dueling Banjos...the perfect pairs music.

Heard that winning pair got free week at Neverland.

Guys too busy watching reruns of Michelle's short program to practice.

Girls too busy calling Vera Wang for "one of those purple dresses" to practice.

The winner and still Champeeeeen! To book Piel, call Mathman and Associates, 555-3743.

 

[KwanFan1212]

"We decided it didn't really matter how we skated because three weeks after Nats we'll all be switching partners anyway!"

Someone had to say it, LOL

 

[Tonichelle]

Too busy hitting each over the head for not thinking of using Dueling Banjos...the perfect pairs music.

actually someone at skateforums last year came up with some neat choreography ideas for that piece of music for a pairs team... it was cool!

 

[Arwen]

This is too funny!

 

[Joesitz (RIP)]

I could have won this if I had a different partner.

Joe

 

[mpal2]

I could have won this if I had a different partner.

Joe

I am very sure that there are several saying that. I wonder how many musical partners we get to see next season?

 

[brenlynn]

i think that's the biggest problem with our pairs teams... they think it'll change things if they are constantly switching partners, but the true key to success if actually WORKING at it. they can't expect it to happen overnight. it takes many teams years to mesh well together.

 

[JonnyCoop]

it takes many teams years to mesh well together. [/B][/QUOTE]

ITA -- however, that doesn't explain why Scott & Dulebohn just seem to get WORSE every year..... They were better when they'd just been together 2 years, now about 4 years later, you'd think they'd be moving forward, not backward.

 

[brenlynn]

i really think tiff and phil are an exception, but the rest.... rena & john, katie & garrett, jenny & john keep getting better every year. i think tiff and phil really just seem to lack an excitement for skating.

 

[sk8pics]

ITA -- however, that doesn't explain why Scott & Dulebohn just seem to get WORSE every year..... They were better when they'd just been together 2 years, now about 4 years later, you'd think they'd be moving forward, not backward.

I don't know if I completely agree with this. S&D have added technical content this year (throw triple loop, for example), improved their double twist, and increased the difficulty of their lifts. Yes, some of their results this year (Nationals in particular, duh) were poorer, but they also won a medal at Trophee Lalique. I think they did "so well" early on because people had low expectations, and there wasn't so much pressure on them. I think it gets harder when you're expected to do better, and maybe that's why they had a rough season. Plus there's the adjustment to their new coaching situation. They've also had the bad luck to make one mistake in the short program in events where there were a number of clean programs, like Worlds '03, for example. I'm just guessing of course. Just some observations.

Pat

 

[JonnyCoop]

OK -- perhaps "getting worse every year" is not quite what I meant. Perhaps it would be better to say that they seem to be going BACKWARD in their progress, at least results-wise. Or at the very least stagnating at more or less the same level, which given their experience is a bit odd. At the very least they have certainly let several other pairs who used to be consistently behind them, get ahead of them.