I'm female 14 and I've been skating seriously since like 6 or 7. I've been to provincials and don't have double Axel or triples yet but I feel like lately my skating has gotten worse. I feel like I'm not leveling as fast as others and my competitions feel worse, plus my confidence has dropped so bad, I can't jump without being in a lesson and are still hesitating on jumps with a coach which is why I don't have double Axel and my competitions are so bad. I've had this problem for 2 years now but with adrenaline I'm consistant with my jumps. I like skating but I've never really wanted to go to the Olympics and now I feel like I don't want to skate since there's other ways to pursue things I like, but my mom really wants me to go to Nationals and my skating has apparently cost her marriage—my parents are divorced.. I just think that I can't convince myself to be able to continue well but I'm not sure if I should keep trying, it's still early season so I have all my competitions ahead but don't want my coaches to not support as much because I'll leave after.
When do you know it's time to quit?
- Thread starter Quotiety
- Start date
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2003
It's important to be honest with not only your parents and coach, but mostly yourself, about what you want. Your young, so you are appropriately wanting to try and explore new things. Think first and prioritize what you really want. Then ask your mother if you can have a "meeting with her and your coach" to discuss your concerns.
Never blame yourself for your parents' actions.
Never blame yourself for your parents' actions.
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2023
She says her skating "apparently" cost her parent's marriage. The "apparently" makes me think it was news to her when she came to that conclusion. I hope her mother wasn't the one who made that connection for her...
To OP: If you dont want to compete, you should not compete. Yea, its worth forcing yourself if its your career or you're a world elite, but per your own admission you dont even care about becoming an Olympic skater or anything. So, at this point you will only be hurting yourself for no reason.
If you enjoy skating you're already lucky for having something physical and active you enjoy. Don't ruin that with forced competition and comparison or it could have really negative mental and physical consequences down the line if you build a bad relationship with sport and fitness. People who take for granted that sports are "fun" dont realize how many people struggle with getting active, especially when they're older. Just do it for fun, keep getting better without any focus on specific tournaments or time-based results if you want or otherwise just keep skating with doubles to music you like for personal fulfillment. You're probably growing now so it makes sense if you have some hiccups in your athletic process; it happens to pros as well, I dont think many of them had a perfectly linear progress. You have time, and if you do eventually get that 2A and triples you can always compete then; you dont have to be at every tournament. Alyssa Liu sat out for years and came back as probably a podium favourite for Olys. You're only 14, you shouldn't already be stressing from what you should be enjoying especially if world medals aren't your goal anyways.
Sport is either a financial, physical, emotional or social burden on your life or it isn't. If it isn't then you have no reason to quit, if it is then time to talk with coach. Sounds like your main problem isnt skating itself but unnecessary pressure & expectations from others. If someone else is making this a burden for you its time to talk with them also...
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2022
Many years ago, I had a skating friend in your position who just couldn't work up the courage to tell her mother (a widow, who had her heart set on her daughter going to the Olympics) that while she loved to skate, she just didn't have the competitive fire to aim that high. Her coach tried to point out to the mother that just persistently practising and competing wouldn't guarantee she'd get to go to the Olympics, or even make it to her national championships. There were too many hurdles to get over on the way. Too many lower level competitions that had to be won first.
What the girl did was take the passive-aggressive way out -- not a really recommended strategy, but she just couldn't bring herself to talk directly to her mother about this. So she went to local competitions, and skated her programs carefully but slowly, with deliberately no expression. She never came last, because she did all the elements she was supposed to, but with a flat performance level. So she only a few times got a medal (when there were only a couple of entrants) and then she'd do the same at the next level of competition and her year would end there. Finally her mother herself saw that, apparently, the girl just didn't have what it took to get to the Olympics, and suggested she drop skating and just go to ballet class, which she loved -- but not to the point where she wanted to make a career out of it.
A last resort method, but better than burning out emotionally trying to fulfill someone else's dream that isn't yours.
What the girl did was take the passive-aggressive way out -- not a really recommended strategy, but she just couldn't bring herself to talk directly to her mother about this. So she went to local competitions, and skated her programs carefully but slowly, with deliberately no expression. She never came last, because she did all the elements she was supposed to, but with a flat performance level. So she only a few times got a medal (when there were only a couple of entrants) and then she'd do the same at the next level of competition and her year would end there. Finally her mother herself saw that, apparently, the girl just didn't have what it took to get to the Olympics, and suggested she drop skating and just go to ballet class, which she loved -- but not to the point where she wanted to make a career out of it.
A last resort method, but better than burning out emotionally trying to fulfill someone else's dream that isn't yours.
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2009
I think, as skaters, it's time to quit when we no longer feel passion for the sport and all the work that goes into it.
