Which skaters would have achieved more with less "involved" parents? | Page 3 | Golden Skate

Which skaters would have achieved more with less "involved" parents?

mrrice

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 9, 2014
Yes I am thinking about alyssa too. I wonder if Danny backed off a little would things be different for her. She doesn't look happy in her live streams...
Well, I think things might change when she starts training with Christy krall. She doesn't seem like a coach who would let a parent tell her what to do. She seems like a my way or the highway kind of coach, which is exactly what Alysa needs. IMO, of course
 

Amei

Record Breaker
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Any sport where parents cannot attend practices should be a giant red flag and my child would be removed immediately even if it is the best coach in the world.

I think there is a happy medium, I agree parents should have the ability to watch their kids practices but there should be a firm line in the behavior at practice from parents and boundaries of letting the coach do their job.
 

chuckm

Record Breaker
Joined
Aug 31, 2003
Canada's Mira Leung. Her mother showed up at every practice and often gave her daughter advice that conflicted with her coach's instructions. When Mira was young, her mother insisted on her wearing a helmet, which unfortunately caused some troublesome habits, like a tendency to lower her head when jumping (from the weight of the helmet).
 

Amei

Record Breaker
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Omg a helmet, that's crazy!

The helmet might have been for safety, there was a skater Paul Binnebose who had hit his head on the ice and caused significant brain damage his coach is adamant had he been wearing a helmet he would have been fine, but Paul is still even after his injury against wearing helmets in figure skating.
 

CoyoteChris

Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
For me, the big red flags with Alysa stemmed from her live streams. She clearly had friends before they recently moved, friends she misses. And she was doing alright with her other coach (yes not restored 3A, but the programs etc were getting more consistent).
I agree. "You can see alot just by watching"....Yogi Bear. And watching Alysa's body language and listening to her voice means alot more than seeing her written word that she is (my words) "rising above and moving forward"
 

CoyoteChris

Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
Here's an article about Tiffany Chin. It goes a bit into her relationship with her Mother. Tiffany also states that she would never want her daughter to be a skater. Interesting read. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1988-01-25-sp-25659-story.html
Excellent 1988 article. I have so much to say and feel here about what is done to young kids of any sport/art....physically and mentally, in many nations....some, like Tara Lapinski, find a way to stay in the sport in some manner despite terrible injuries and succeed. They can become coaches and commentators, choreographers and what have you. Many are very smart and get degrees in finance, mechanical engineering, the medical field, etc and go on to have great normal lives....some who will remain nameless feel lost at the end of their skating lives and drift.....I am glad my parents didnt Push me....I dont think I could have taken that....
 

mrrice

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 9, 2014
Excellent 1988 article. I have so much to say and feel here about what is done to young kids of any sport/art....physically and mentally, in many nations....some, like Tara Lapinski, find a way to stay in the sport in some manner despite terrible injuries and succeed. They can become coaches and commentators, choreographers and what have you. Many are very smart and get degrees in finance, mechanical engineering, the medical field, etc and go on to have great normal lives....some who will remain nameless feel lost at the end of their skating lives and drift.....I am glad my parents didnt Push me....I dont think I could have taken that....
There's such a fine line and I don't think it's easy for any parent. I have said many times that it used to really upset me when my father would remind me of how expensive it was for me to train at a high level. He wisely made me choose between skating and dance and I'm glad he did. I was able to focus my energy and fortunately, it all worked out.
 
Joined
Jun 21, 2003
It a tricky proposition. The parents have primary responsibility for all aspects of therir child's well-being. Plus, the parent hires the coach, not the other way around. Rafael Arutunian for one has commented often about the difference between coaching in the U.S., where the parents and skaters rule the roost, with coaching in Russia. He who pays the piper ...

The ballet instructor of my sister-in-law, when she was a little girl, was renowned for being a tough cookie. Not only was she exacting on her students, but also she pulled no punches with the parents. If a girl lacked the talent to progress, Mss S told the parents bluntly, "I train ballerinas. I do not provide recreation for children. Your child does not have the potential to advance. Here are the phone numbers of three rival ballet schools. Your child will be happy at any one of them."
 

theblade

On the Ice
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
The bluntness of that ballet instructor is commendable and humane (although not everyone might think so). Ballet is a real grinder, and finding the right school for a dancer is key to their enjoyment of the sport. I've read enough stories online about studio dramas that almost makes figure skating look tame!

There are coaches (in any artistic sport) with a full slate of students - some of whom merely fill a slot in the schedule to maximize profits. If parents are okay with that, so be it.

When parents foot the bill, the transition from talented skater to elite-trained skater is difficult. There's a lot of mistakes that can be made, and coulda-shoulda-woulda thoughts after the fact. It's hard when a skater's needs change, and the coaching needs to change with it. Often, it's an emotional process, which complicates things further.
 

Skater Boy

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 24, 2012
Great reply thanks. I totally agree that parents can be supportive with hugs, cuddles, ensuring school work is done etc... Figure skating is like gymnastics & gets its fair share of pushy controlling parents but looking back on US Olympic champions like Tara Lipinski & Sarah Hughes their parents seemed very balanced & maybe that had a factor in their achievements..
Big money helps too. Both Lipinksi & Hughes were very well to do.
 

Amei

Record Breaker
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Omg a helmet, that's crazy!

The helmet might have been for safety, there was a skater Paul Binnebose who had hit his head on the ice and caused significant brain damage his coach is adamant had he been wearing a helmet he would have been fine, but Paul is still even after his injury against wearing helmets in figure skating.

I did some digging and found a Youtube clip with Paul and some others talking about helmets in pairs skating. Very interesting piece

 

el henry

Fangirl of men’s spirals and split jumps
Record Breaker
Joined
Mar 3, 2014
Country
United-States
A thesis was actually written on parental involvement in figure skating::eek: I haven't read all 69 pages, but I am impressed:

https://digitalcommons.ithaca.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1231&context=ic_theses


On the "stage door parents at the rink" phenomenon, in the US of A, I would counsel any coach anywhere that a parent *cannot* be barred from the rink. Heaven forbid anything happens to that minor child, that is a legal headache you don't want. Reasonable rules should be in place, and if the parent violates, the solution is that the child can no longer work with the coach unless the parent abides by the rules.
 

CoyoteChris

Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
It a tricky proposition. The parents have primary responsibility for all aspects of therir child's well-being. Plus, the parent hires the coach, not the other way around. Rafael Arutunian for one has commented often about the difference between coaching in the U.S., where the parents and skaters rule the roost, with coaching in Russia. He who pays the piper ...

The ballet instructor of my sister-in-law, when she was a little girl, was renowned for being a tough cookie. Not only was she exacting on her students, but also she pulled no punches with the parents. If a girl lacked the talent to progress, Mss S told the parents bluntly, "I train ballerinas. I do not provide recreation for children. Your child does not have the potential to advance. Here are the phone numbers of three rival ballet schools. Your child will be happy at any one of them."
I would call that pretty harsh. I think parents and students should be told up front that there are levels to be strived for, and the teacher will keep both informed as to how they are doing and at some point be told honestly that in the opinion of the teacher, they have reached a level and perhaps will not achieve past that, or perhaps should try a different teacher. Many teachers are just plain mean. My first wife's dressage teacher told her she was too fat to look good on a horse. My college calculus TA was from India and his name is/was Vasu Dewan. He was brilliant but I think he was teaching as it was required to do his research....told me, "Mr. Coyote, I dont think Calculus is your bag of oats". And he was right. I dropped out of engineering and became a technician and was much happier for it. The date was Friday, Nov. 8th 1968. The next day an earthquake hit my dorm!
 

yyzskater

Rinkside
Joined
Jan 5, 2012
Interestingly enough, for most of the past two years in Ontario, parents or any spectators were not allowed in facilities due to C19 protocols. Skaters had to come into the rinks on their own.
 

Tutto

Record Breaker
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
In her book, Sasha Cohen never mentioned anything about her mom being overbearing. She had other issues that prevented her from reaching her full potential. Of course, that book was poorly written by some terrible ghostwriter, so maybe one day she'll reveal more.
Do you seriously expect her to criticise her own mother to the world? They are very close and Sasha is very loyal. Galina sacrificed a lot for her daughter's career including her marriage by moving to Connecticut when Sasha was coached by TAT. That was in my humble opinion one massive mistake. Sasha was 18, old enough to live on her own and TAT was a very motherly type of coach in those days, she would have taken a good care of Sasha. With two strong personalities on site it was only a matter of time before things went sourly. Leaving TAT just before the Nationals was disastrous and in all probability cost Sasha a world title in 2004.
 

Imagine

Medalist
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Do you seriously expect her to criticise her own mother to the world?
No, I don't, but I also have not seen evidence of any reason for her to do so. Until then, I'd rather not speculate about someone's relationship with their mother.
 
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