Amazing Gracie Gold article in NYT

[Interspectator]

Thank you for sharing this. Reading this article made me cry for Gracie and all she went through.
A few seasons back, I wasn't a fan of her skating and Gracie's self-evaluation of her state of mind during her most successful seasons pin-pointed exactly what it was that kept me from being a fan of her at that time.
More than anything, I hope Gracie can be happy and healthy and at peace with herself-- Nothing the public and skating fans expect or want should affect her now.
Success for her is to fully live and skate the way she wants and the way that will make her happy.

 

[moonvine]

So happy that Gracie is speaking out about her mental illness and recovery process. I hope this helps others with similar issues.

I never felt that her princess image was authentic and I had a hard time enjoying her skating. I'm excited to see the real Gracie emerge in her programs and interviews in the future.

And kudos to Ashley for reaching out to her. Ashley also dealt with depression following Nationals last year, so it clearly is an issue among elite skaters.

That princess thing was NEVER her. She made that pretty clear. That was something NBC was totally hyping and pushing. The poor woman to be born with a name like that, it's just like catnip to NBC.

 

[anonymoose_au]

A very interesting article, it's sad to think Gracie was struggling so badly for those years and I'm really happy that she managed to get the help she needs and she's still enjoying skating and working on new programs!

It does highlight how difficult the media makes it for athletes some (or maybe a lot!) of the time. The media in Australia is particularly guilty of pushing all our athletes and then dumping on them if they don't fulfil impossibly high expectations.

I also hope this article will make coaches think twice before mentioning weight negatively to an athlete, sure not all of them will react badly, but even one is too many.

It was also really touching to read about how Ashley was worried about Gracie and helped her, she's a good person

 

[Harriet]

That's a great article - well-written, sensitive and yet not holding back on any front. Gracie shows a lot of self-awareness in describing her experience of depression and how she slipped into dangerous mindsets, and I hope the therapy has given her tools that will help her avert any similar slides in the future, and make it easier to reach out for help sooner if/when she needs it.

Commendations to Ashley Wagner and USFS for not only being willing to help Gracie, but actively stepping up and doing so even if it seemed at first they weren't wanted. That's the kind of safety net everyone needs.

 

[cruzceleste]

Ashley is really great. Helping Gracie and alerting USFS as soon as she saw Gracie's problems is really amazing and supportive.

This, I hope media (and fans) stop putting women against each other, it wasn´t a good enviroment for Gracie/Ashley/Polina, and is not one for Alina/Evgenia... is so different from the men are pals narrative... women "must" hate each other.

I remember Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin talked about they didn´t speak for years because they started to believe what the media was feeding them about each other...

 

[Chris_E]

This, I hope media (and fans) stop putting women against each other, it wasn´t a good enviroment for Gracie/Ashley/Polina, and is not one for Alina/Evgenia... is so different from the men are pals narrative... women "must" hate each other.

I remember Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin talked about they didn´t speak for years because they started to believe what the media was feeding them about each other...

Agreed, no reason that two women competitors can't be friendly to each other. Remember how Michelle Kwan and Irina Slutskaya seemed to actually be friends though they were "rivals" on the ice. Good article and I wish Gracie well.

 

[lizardlass]

Amazing article. The pageant-y Ice Princess image thrust upon her never felt the least bit authentic, and far more importantly, it caused her real harm. Now she gets to be who she really is on and off the ice, and I hope it continues to be a healing experience.

 

[Sugar Coated]

This, I hope media (and fans) stop putting women against each other, it wasn´t a good enviroment for Gracie/Ashley/Polina, and is not one for Alina/Evgenia... is so different from the men are pals narrative... women "must" hate each other.

I remember Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin talked about they didn´t speak for years because they started to believe what the media was feeding them about each other...

I think that we as a culture definitely perpetuate this "cattiness" narrative. But men have rivalries too, Plushenko and Yagudin come to mind. I was so encouraged to read about how Ashley stepped in. Its what needed to happen and I'm glad that Gracie got help when she did.

 

[louisa05]

There are some really interesting clues about Gracie's life experiences in this article. And not a lot of them have to do with a scale. I think the scale is the easiest thing to blame for eating disorders because we can take away the scale. But they don't cause them.

Psychology has long understood that perfectionist tendencies play a significant role in eating disorders--here's just one of many articles that pop up when you put perfectionism together with eating disorders into google. Most are scholarly research, in fact:

https://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/...an-eating-disorder/risk-factors/perfectionism

I was struck by the characterization that Gracie was the leader from birth. For whatever reason, her parents interpreted something in her personality this way, apparently as an infant. So they--perhaps subconsciously--put that onus on her for her entire life. And skating didn't make her a perfectionist--hence the crying primary student erasing a whole sentence for one error. As a teacher, I have seen those kids at 8 and 18 and ages between. I did my best to help them let go of it. In this story, it sounds like for Gracie, it became a cute family story of how driven she was. I've had that conversation with parents who don't see it as a bad thing or see it as a quirk. The smart perfectionist kid, even at 8, looks like she will be a high achiever and parents love for their kid to be a high achiever. Enter skating. Notice that the characterization, again, is that Gracie will be the high achiever and Carly will have fun. This seems to have been set in stone by then. She didn't --probably subconsciously on her parents's part--have permission to just have fun. The expectations were there before she reached the level with media pressure. So we have a Gracie that is already prone to believing she has to be the perfect high achiever in anything she does and live up to parental expectations because that's her role in the family.

Enter skating success and media. Ashley Wagner never tried to be anything the media said she should. (Much to the chagrin of fan boards where so many say they want authentic personalities not packaged skaters then get frustrated by authentic personalities...but I digress). She had neither the personality or perceived expectations of doing so. Gracie was different. The media and judges represented authority. Like her parents. She had to meet the expectations of the authorities. That is who she is and she does it perfectly. So the media creates a story around her--golden Hollywood girl who shall win the Olympics and World Championships. So she tries to be golden Hollywood girl but she doesn't win anything. (Really, people. can we lay "princess" to rest? They never said "princess", plus there are some bad *ss princesses in the world. I dare you to mess with Princess Anne who has no time for sparkles or red lipstick, either).

And here we are.

And today I read from Christine Brennan that Alysa Liu is a sparkling breath of fresh air and spunk that will be the "perfect age" at the 2022 Olympics. Yesterday, I saw multiple references to her winning those Olympics. We're off to the races... And we don't know who Alysa is or what kind of pressure she puts on herself or how growth and other changes between now and then will affect her. But let's crown another Olympic champion before she laces up her skates at the Games and see how it goes. No harm, right?

 

[Feline Feeder]

I was very impressed by Gracie's candor and bravery in admitting she had a mental illness. I hope anyone in a similar situation will read the article and be encouraged to get help.

What I found interesting was the breakdown in her family. She had apparently stopped speaking to her father after he had his medical license suspended for taking other people's pills. Whatever was going on there (and the NYT didn't go into it much) I'm sure contributed to her problems as much as the weight gain and some bad skating results.

This also makes me worried for Alysa Liu. I didn't hear the part about the in-vitro fertilization and the egg donors/surrogate mothers. I had assumed that the Lius had divorced and she was living with Dad for whatever reason. The pressure on her to save the United States figure skating program and be the perfect miracle baby must be staggering (admittedly, I don't know Mr. Liu's personality or the family dynamic personally, of course). I pray that the hype is kept down for her.

 

[cruzceleste]

I was very impressed by Gracie's candor and bravery in admitting she had a mental illness. I hope anyone in a similar situation will read the article and be encouraged to get help.

What I found interesting was the breakdown in her family. She had apparently stopped speaking to her father after he had his medical license suspended for taking other people's pills. Whatever was going on there (and the NYT didn't go into it much) I'm sure contributed to her problems as much as the weight gain and some bad skating results.

This also makes me worried for Alysa Liu. I didn't hear the part about the in-vitro fertilization and the egg donors/surrogate mothers. I had assumed that the Lius had divorced and she was living with Dad for whatever reason. The pressure on her to save the United States figure skating program and be the perfect miracle baby must be staggering (admittedly, I don't know Mr. Liu's personality or the family dynamic personally, of course). I pray that the hype is kept down for her.

WHAT?

I think in general "genius" should not be put under so much pressure, later in life if they are not perffect as Gracie´s mother put it "they failed their country". All athletes will benefit from time to grow with out pressure.

 

[Skater Boy]

Great article about a great person and a great skater. I do hope this new environment is best for Gracie and it is interesting to see how her battle has gone and the players. One thing and it maybe because she is a big star it would okay and maybe even healthier for her but it is okay that Gracie doesn't have to be always in the headlines. Iremember when the olympics game she again was getting attentin I think for deciding to coach and or her dog etc. Now whether it is the media on its own, or a bit of her PR people or whatever It is okay for Gracie not to be in the limelight - not blaming her even if she deep downs wants it. But not only to give other skaters their moment; it just might be "nice" or beneficial to just let Gracie be and be alone. And maybe even let Gracie knows it is okay not to be a "superstar" or in the limelight - you are still worthy and valuable as a human (heck it might even teach us mere mortals not everyone has to be a Kardashian in the news.

 

[Scott512]

Amazing read. Cheers for courageous Gracie! It's hard to believe what she has been through. I hope some people can learn from her situation. I also hope she is happy and healthy in the future.

 

[ManyCairns]

It seems to me Bradie may be cut from the perfectionist cloth, as well -- note her tweet: "I want to work on every detail and strive for perfection." Not to say that she has or will have mental health issues, but I've noticed the perfectionist in Bradie all along. It can certainly be a double-edge sword to have that mindset.

 

[moonvine]

Glad y’all are getting to see “my” Gracie instead of the pretty pretty ice princess NBC tried to shove down our throats.

 

[creaturelover]

And today I read from Christine Brennan that Alysa Liu is a sparkling breath of fresh air and spunk that will be the "perfect age" at the 2022 Olympics. Yesterday, I saw multiple references to her winning those Olympics. We're off to the races... And we don't know who Alysa is or what kind of pressure she puts on herself or how growth and other changes between now and then will affect her. But let's crown another Olympic champion before she laces up her skates at the Games and see how it goes. No harm, right?

Agree 100%. Just told my friend, "look, here we go again," with all the pressure being thrust onto Alysa Liu.

 

[Skater Boy]

True but the US is looking for the goddess, the diva,the miracle worker who will regain the OGM that seemed so destined to American ladies. Michelle, Sasha, Ashley and Gracie all looked to carry on the legacy of skaters such as Albright, Fleming, Hamil, Lipinski and Hughes.

 

[Lester]

Sure, the best way to help someone move on from their mental struggle is to interview them about their various rationalisations about it and then write a gigantic sob story, where the whole tragedy is made to seem even more monumental. Who even wants to read this sort of inept pseudojournalism?
I don't think this situation with Gracie (or Gabby) will resolve itself until they stop fixating on what has been and what the possible reasons for it might have been and just accept that things are the way they are and sometimes you just have to recover from a massive trainwreck.

 

[moses]

Wonderful article. It is hard to know that all those times we watched her on the international stage that she was in so much pain.

 

[moonvine]

Sure, the best way to help someone move on from their mental struggle is to interview them about their various rationalisations about it and then write a gigantic sob story, where the whole tragedy is made to seem even more monumental. Who even wants to read this sort of inept pseudojournalism?
I don't think this situation with Gracie (or Gabby) will resolve itself until they stop fixating on what has been and what the possible reasons for it might have been and just accept that things are the way they are and sometimes you just have to recover from a massive trainwreck.

As a former therapist and current patient (grief therapy from my sister’s death) I’d just like to say that everyone is different. Some need inpatient, some can do with individual and some do well in group. I also have a support group for a disease I have. I personally would not have been comfortable revealing that much in a public news article, and no one is going to be interested other than maybe the small set of people with the same disease I have. I would hope no one forced her to say any of this stuff, and far more people suffer from eating disorders and depression than my uncommon disease. She is extremely likely to have helped a lot of other people, especially athletes, with her story. I can’t claim to know her personally but it is my impression that is why she did it.