Shock and Dismay: Worst Programs Evah

[Buttercup]

So, I think every skater should be respected for all the effort and great job they are doing. They are entertaining us. Even in the moments we are sad (at least for me), they are of help.
So, I cannot label any skater's program as worst, skanky, or any bad word. I know how much they work for it and to please us.
Obviously there are programs I like more and others I like less, but at the end every program is enjoyable. I know this can seem a false statement, but I started to like programs that once I didn't like. And I respect much more skaters, than once I didn't.

I agree that every skater we see in competition has spent years working hard and making sacrifices to get to where they are. And in the end, being on the ice alone and skating at a high level has to be one of the more difficult things in sport, and those who do it deserve some respect. So as a rule, I try to avoid making negative statements about any skater's personality or character.

That having been said, I think it's perfectly legitimate to criticize skaters' performances and to say that hey, this program does not do justice to what they can do; or the music was a really bad idea; or maybe some of it was in poor taste. I think most of the programs mentioned on this thread came up because normally good or even great skaters made bad choices and disappointed us as fans, and not because they were splatfests or lacking in artistry or skills.

 

[dorispulaski]

I submit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m28xZx7gp_8


Words just can't convey the horror.... (brrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

I think we have a winner in the Men's category!
Criminal innuendo
Baby diaper jokes
pink flowered skates on a guy
manufactured Petulance

Going once...
going twice....

What say the rest of you?
This is the worst on the thread for men so far, even outdoing George of the Jungle IMO. I definitely want to scratch my eyes out

 

[Mafke]

This is the worst on the thread for men so far, even outdoing George of the Jungle IMO. I definitely want to scratch my eyes out

Yeah, a petulant super-muscled baby doing pelvic thrusts....

This is one of the few skating programs I've ever seen that goes beyond 'misguided' and straight to the heart of genuinely disturbing.

 

[gio]

Yeah, a petulant super-muscled baby doing pelvic thrusts....

This is one of the few skating programs I've ever seen that goes beyond 'misguided' and straight to the heart of genuinely disturbing.

Well, that I agree was disturbing!

 

[Piel]

But the real Finns? They have to play at fish slapping.hwell:

I blame it on the lutesfisk.

 

[blue dog]

She is a beautiful skater, but based on the character of the music, well, her skating didn't match it. It seemed like she just ignored the character of the music (to me):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fqVcHhIC0pk

 

[Kwanford Wife]

one main difference - I don't blame Dean for her lack of choreography in Bolero. She admittedly reworked the program.

Excellent point! And as stated before, she probably didn't realize that a great fluff program to kick off the season would fall apart as her phyical issues became more serious...

It is only shocking/dismaying(?) if it's by a favorite.

.

No, but it seemed the best approach for this thread... mainly because its too easy to be overly critical of skaters who I'm not a fan of - which is why Nancy K didn't make my list...

Well beating up on obscure skaters, coaches & choreographers because they're not topnotch seems a little low.

Excellent point as well... sometimes its more important to look a little higher when being critical - otherwise you're just being mean.

First a disclaimer (hope it's the right word) = What I am going to say is just my opinion and everybody can disagree, obviously!

So, I think every skater should be respected for all the effort and great job they are doing. They are entertaining us. Even in the moments we are sad (at least for me), they are of help.
So, I cannot label any skater's program as worst, skanky, or any bad word. I know how much they work for it and to please us.
Obviously there are programs I like more and others I like less, but at the end every program is enjoyable. I know this can seem a false statement, but I started to like programs that once I didn't like. And I respect much more skaters, than once I didn't.

You are absolutely right and I thought this was sucha good point that I printed it out and hung it on my "Unbearable Fabulosity" board in my office - the place where I put all things that speak to me, inspire me and above all remind me that its easy to sit in the cheap seats & judge the accomplishments of others... For that, you receive the official

KW

 

[anya_angie]

another bad music cut

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xomcevlxjRs

Ugh, why is it no one can do Goldenthal's genius justice? It's the same with Interview With The Vampire.

 

[NatachaHatawa]

Brian's "Lord of the Dance" LP.
At first, when I heard he was gonna skate to this I was like "yay!", because he'd already skated to it in exhibitions and the music really suites him, but what a shock I got when I saw it. Usually Morozov does great work, but he really mucked up with this program.:
1) The music was really badly cut
2) I really don't think Morozov grasped the music - the choreography (the little there was) didn't translate the music
3)The program was really badly construted - brian was huffing and puffing from beginning to end.
4) The costumes made me cry.

I was also disappointed with Navka & Kostomarov's 06 Olympic FD. They are usually great to watch, but this program just bored me to death.

Plushenko's Olympic LP. The first time I saw this program was at the 05 Euros, and Evgeni did a great performance, and gave it all he had (he must have been pissed off with only winning silver the year before), but at the Olympics it looked like nothing.

 

[Tenorguy]

I think we have a winner in the Men's category!
Criminal innuendo
Baby diaper jokes
pink flowered skates on a guy
manufactured Petulance

Going once...
going twice....

What say the rest of you?
This is the worst on the thread for men so far, even outdoing George of the Jungle IMO. I definitely want to scratch my eyes out

UNCLE UNCLE! I give in - the horridity of Baby Plushenko is just too much for me. I submit... this is totally horrible. I believe I lost my will to live after watching this. Talk about a desperate attempt to "charm" the fans with lowbrow schtick... Oy. Does anyone need to loved this much?

So, I'm with you Dorispulaski - here's hoping skating can't get any worse.....

Tenorguy

 

[Mafke]

Okay, we've got three people who find baby sex bomb to be the winner for mens'.

Moving on to ladies (and following my own criteria: it has to be a really good skater who's capable of better; the whole concept of the program has to be horribly, horribly misguided so that it evokes pity/horror/awe for the viewer.

The men and dancer's have the edge in the category as ladies and pairs only rarely are able to horrify me as much as a prominent man (or dance couple) with a this great! idea! audience will love it!

Anyway, one finalist would have to be Laetitia Hubbert's prostitute on crack program:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAezlhbelhA

What could keep it from winning is that be horrified you have know that yes, she fully intended to portray a.... prostitute on crack who dies at the end. As a program it's pretty blah (except for her shaky, shaky death and ending pose).

 

[Johar]

I just saw Plushenko's Sex Bomb number for the first time ever. Dear God that was horrific! And it looked like he was skating on a frozen swimming pool.

 

[hrmsk8ngnutt]

Anyway, one finalist would have to be Laetitia Hubbert's prostitute on crack program:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAezlhbelhA

What could keep it from winning is that be horrified you have know that yes, she fully intended to portray a.... prostitute on crack who dies at the end. As a program it's pretty blah (except for her shaky, shaky death and ending pose).

Staying with French ladies skaters, I would have to nominate Vanessa Gusmeroli's Joan of Arc program. She skated it in two Grand Prix events in the fall of 2000, but showed up at Worlds with her previous Legends of the Fall program. Unfortunately, there is no clip on YouTube. Everything was bad, from the music to the choreography to the bizarre costume.

 

[Johar]

Alexei Urmanov's routine where he wore a 30-foot long cape.

 

[dorispulaski]

In the ladies division, I nominate Kristi Yamaguchi's 1995 Version of It's Oh So Quiet. This is supposed to be humorous, but just ends up embarrassing. The choreo is dreadful, full of shushing gestures. The costume is a 10 year old's church dress with a belt of daisies. Just bad any way you slice it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Nnw_dkEwY

 

[Tonichelle]

I LOVE that program of Kristi's! One of my favorites!

 

[hrmsk8ngnutt]

In the ladies division, I nominate Kristi Yamaguchi's 1995 Version of It's Oh So Quiet. This is supposed to be humorous, but just ends up embarrassing. The choreo is dreadful, full of shushing gestures. The costume is a 10 year old's church dress with a belt of daisies. Just bad any way you slice it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Nnw_dkEwY

I LOVE that program of Kristi's! One of my favorites!

Me too!!! I loved it on TV and even better live when I saw SOI!!!

 

[Mafke]

It's not on youtube but I seem to remember a Denise Biellmann program from 1990 (give or take a couple of years) where the music was a combination of the blue danube and techno and where she stripped off her skirt.

I remember being just kind of ... dumbstruck at the time (even the commentors didn't know too much what to say).

 

[iluvtodd]

I think we have a winner in the Men's category!
Criminal innuendo
Baby diaper jokes
pink flowered skates on a guy
manufactured Petulance

Going once...
going twice....

What say the rest of you?
This is the worst on the thread for men so far, even outdoing George of the Jungle IMO. I definitely want to scratch my eyes out

OMG, that's bad!!!! I think this one does beat out "George of the Jungle!" I still like the "Sex Bomb" program that Plushy did at 2001 Worlds on on the 2001 COI summer tour.

Re: Krsti's "It's Oh, So Quiet," I that program!!!! Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

 

[blue dog]

I agree with whoever said Urmanov's "Phantom of the Opera" was bad--

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ozv_ocqCVKI

His prince of egypt wasn't very nice to see either

http://youtube.com/watch?v=byoHWoUPDiA