Why does bad stuff happen in clusters? | Golden Skate

Why does bad stuff happen in clusters?

Johar

Medalist
Joined
Dec 16, 2003
I am being serious. It seems like if one bad thing happens alot of bad comes with it.

1. Friend's dog died and she is beyond grief. I never got to say goodbye to the dog, who's health took an unexpected turn for the worse overnight.

2. Another friend's dad died of lung cancer. He stopped smoking after his teens/early 20s, almost 50 years ago.

3. I want to fly down to Indianapolis from Michigan for the funeral. The roundtrip prices are outrageous--$1,200 on average. Our airport is a hub; however getting someone to drive from a larger airport like Traverse City is iffy because it is 1.5 hours away and all my friends work. Their prices may be a bit less, though. I do have some friends who may be driving down for the funeral but sitting in a car for 7-8 hours with my back problems isn't going to be pleasant.

4. I got an unexpected bill for 6 days of physical therapy back in April. I paid $50 per visit at the time, then my insurance decided not to pay for any of it so I got a bill for it yesterday, for $750. I have to pay all my insurance out-of-pocket. They raised my premiums by $20 a month. I thought I WAS paying for all my PT at the time of the visits. My friend told me yesterday most PT was over $100 an hour, at least a decade ago. She said it is likely alot higher now.

5. I had LASIK 8 years ago and at age 43 I found out I need reading glasses by next year. LASIK only treats far away vision problems, so tweaking it will do nothing. Contact lenses don't work after an eye has had LASIK. He said the Ocular Implant may not be the best for me but I would need to see a surgeon for that route. It could be worse, though. I just don't care for glasses.

6. A male friend suddenly dropped me from his life, no explaination. He stopped responding to all text, emails, FB, etc back in March. Nothing I can do but move on, I suppose. His marriage was on the rocks and now he is divorced. You can't force someone to be friends with you if they don't want to be friends. It hurts, though. I stopped contacting him the end of March rather than humiliate myself by pleading and begging for any response from him.
 
Joined
Jun 21, 2003
Oh my goodness, I can see why you feel that everything is piling on at once!

I wish I had some helpful advice, but all I can think of is this. Maybe you have gotten all your troubles out of the way at once and now you are in for seven years of good luck. I hope so.
 
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dorispulaski

Wicked Yankee Girl
Joined
Jul 26, 2003
Country
United-States
Johar, I hope that things look up soon.

Do call the insurance company though. Insist on talking to what my husband calls "the person who can say yes." The initial contact is only allowed to say no ;) Read your coverage book first before you call-if your policy covers therapy, they are supposed to pay for it. Cite the page and paragraph to the supervisor. Threaten to report them to the state insurance commission if you aren't satisfied that they are giving you what the policy promised.

Sometimes this has worked for us.
 

skateluvr

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Bless you Johar. It is funny, I tend to think of people like their avatars because no one shares much here for fear of being hurt or misunderstood as it is a skating forum of young people, where the mature folks that post are obvious. So please feel free to PM me any time. There's more room in a broken heart and affliction teaches much more than success. So try to put thigs in perspective. I share your interest in horses, though I don't make an effort to watch the big races. I hope the off season brings some good discussions and sharing.

You seem to have far more blessings than problems, but that is an assumption. I would be hospitalized (no joke at a car ride of 7 hours) so if you suffer significantly, please don't do that to yourself. And people understand the costs of travel when a elder dies. Maybe you can have a service or mass if Catholic for this man. Or do something special. A huge bouquet of your freinds favorite flowers to her home and a heartfelt loving letter of support. I wrote a poem when a man's wife died ater 60 years of marriage and he loved it and saved it for re-reading. So many creative ways to show her you feel her pain. Many will come to the funeral and not be heard from. I suggest you look for an affordable fare and plan a visitin a month to six weeks when all but her closest will be busy with their lives. And she will have time to talk with you then and share her greif. For 1200 dollars you could spend half that, get a cheap flight with long adavance booking and get a hotel overnight to visit if staying at her home would be a burden. I know she will be happy to see you. At funerals of any size, the family is limited in time. Perhaps she will be needing you more down the road. Just my humble thoughts -an offering to a GS cafe freind who I know not. The Dalai Lama is on TV. I hope you have some inspiring person to watch on Youtube. I read that people who watched a documentary of Mother Theresa actually had stronger immune response from the uplift. Please pray for me and I will pray for you. In fact, this is a prayer so consider it done.

Olympia would agree with me, I think, that Lyra Angelica is very soothing, the music first and then MK's perfect 1998 Nationals and then her Oly performance. She had a iffy landing on one jump, otherwise, PERFECTION NIRVANA. :))))))). i TRIED AN INSPIRATION THREAD AND YOU MIGHT FIND THAT A COUPLE PAGES BACK, AND PEOPLE LINKED MANY INSPIRING PERFORMANCES. iT WAS WITH HELPING PEOPLE (I WAS A SOCIAL WORKER) sorry -caps were unintentional Asus low end has no light to remind me. Rather than retyping, just sorry- I am not yelling.

Anyway, if you need more solace, MK Song of the Black Swan is very soothing and she is stunningly beautiful. For sheer fight and perkiness, MK's Tosca 2004 I think is awesome and fierce, she was fighting then to show she was still at the top. I mention skating onkly as this is the link that we all share. We are a very disparate group otherwise it appears. Olympia, I know you will read this and have had a lifetime of classical music. Could you maybe put a few links when you can of the most beautiful, uplifting peices you know of classical music? In fact, maybe a thread of inspiring classical music for healing the soul is in order here in the cafe, or given that it is off season, maybe it would be allowed in the Edge, as we have a few music lovers like you who know a lot of classical music. "Music to inspire us in the off season." I am guessing many here go through withdrawal like me when the season and the lively discusions ended.

I hope you are an MK fan as I only listed the skates that I found very special. If Sasha was someone you liked, I find her Dark Eyes Sp so feirce and triumphant from Torino 2006. An I also loved her youthful look at me sp from SLC oly 2002. And for amazing joy, I loved Tara Lipinskis 98 gold performance and also Sarah's 2002 Oly skate was for the ages. Also, 96 San Jose Rudy Galindo. And Rudy's classic YMCA is so much fun. I am just free associating now for fun uplifting skating. Victor Petrenkos Michael Jackson, If u like VP and MJ is awesome. From this season, Caro had joy/freedom at every performance. And you can't beat Akiko for joyousness. Also Ashley is just feirce. So soothing skating, music and triumphal skating is what I can remind you of on a skating board!

And Olympia, please find some music for Akiko and Ashley! You could be a consultant to Lori Nichol! You are so fortunate to have this gift of classical music knowledge and please continue to share links for our inspiration and healing. MM posted an awesome video of a little girl. It cheered me up and I live in horrible pain 26 years now, so you can imagine how much skating and sharing it means to me. Anyone reading this can find that thread on "Maddie B." in the Edge. I plan to watch it again to see all the skaters photos. I hope I did not bore you with all my suggestions for quick fix skating relief!
 
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skateluvr

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
I just wrote a long reply to Johar and I lost it! I spent 45 minutes sharing skating etc to soothe and uplift you! Can't do it again...pain. Anyway, here is a prayer from my angel to yours. Hugs.))))))))
 
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
I just wrote a long reply to Johar and I lost it! I spent 45 minutes sharing skating etc to soothe and uplift you! Can't do it again...pain. Anyway, here is a prayer from my angel to yours. Hugs.))))))))


Look above, skateluvr. I think your post got saved! It looks lovely, and I'm going to read it now.

I read your post, and it's very helpful and inspiring. You're still a social worker, looking to help people deal with adversity.

I'll try to amass a list of music and so forth for tough moments. I actually never studied music but was lucky enough to have an available radio station when I was growing up. So my music education was free for the asking. Then as soon as I had a bit of money, i started buying recordings. I took maybe two music survey courses in college, and that was it. They let me in special, even though I didn't know how to read music, because I clearly loved it so much. Nowadays with YouTube and other sources (including lots of classical stations online on i-Tunes), it's possible to get a pretty good sense of classical music without much outlay of funds. If you can get online radio stations, I recommend WGBH out of Boston and WQXR from New York City.

YouTube is just the best, and you can learn lots by finding articles online, or by reading customer reviews of CDs on Amazon. These are my methods. I wish there were better music education in schools, because so many people find classical music intimidating, whereas in reality it's a language that opens our hearts and soothes our souls in our darkest times. Everyone should have the benefit of such emotional food. After September 11, the New York Philharmonic had a concert with just one work, Brahms' German Requiem. This was broadcast on public TV and also on the radio, and last year for the tenth anniversary it was played on the radio again. It's such moving music that it could get you through a tempest, and you don't have to know a word of German to be held in its embrace.

That's all I can think of to contribute for now, but I'll gather my thoughts and put something up tomorrow or Sunday. One current thread with a lot of musical suggestions is the one in The Edge where people are suggesting music for Daisuke Takahashi. It's title is "Any suggestions on choreographers/music choices for Daisuke 2012-13 season?" and it's pretty far down on the menu. People have been suggesting wonderful pieces, a lot of them classical. Then in the Cafe section there's the "Favorite Songs" thread, with all the lovely stuff from iluvtodd and skatinginbc.
 
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Dee4707

Ice Is Slippery - Alexie Yagudin
Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 28, 2003
Country
United-States
Johar, so sorry to hear about these things that has caused you pain.

When I was quite a bit younger, a very good friend & mentor told me that every painful event strengthened your character. Of course being so young, I asked so what's wrong with my character? Now I understand what he meant.

Take care Johar and I am sending you a big ((hug)).
 

skateluvr

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Look above, skateluvr. I think your post got saved! It looks lovely, and I'm going to read it now.

I read your post, and it's very helpful and inspiring. You're still a social worker, looking to help people deal with adversity.

I'll try to amass a list of music and so forth for tough moments. I actually never studied music but was lucky enough to have an available radio station when I was growing up. So my music education was free for the asking. Then as soon as I had a bit of money, i started buying recordings. I took maybe two music survey courses in college, and that was it. They let me in special, even though I didn't know how to read music, because I clearly loved it so much. Nowadays with YouTube and other sources (including lots of classical stations online on i-Tunes), it's possible to get a pretty good sense of classical music without much outlay of funds. If you can get online radio stations, I recommend WGBH out of Boston and WQXR from New York City.

YouTube is just the best, and you can learn lots by finding articles online, or by reading customer reviews of CDs on Amazon. These are my methods. I wish there were better music education in schools, because so many people find classical music intimidating, whereas in reality it's a language that opens our hearts and soothes our souls in our darkest times. Everyone should have the benefit of such emotional food. After September 11, the New York Philharmonic had a concert with just one work, Brahms' German Requiem. This was broadcast on public TV and also on the radio, and last year for the tenth anniversary it was played on the radio again. It's such moving music that it could get you through a tempest, and you don't have to know a word of German to be held in its embrace.

That's all I can think of to contribute for now, but I'll gather my thoughts and put something up tomorrow or Sunday. One current thread with a lot of musical suggestions is the one in The Edge where people are suggesting music for Daisuke Takahashi. It's title is "Any suggestions on choreographers/music choices for Daisuke 2012-13 season?" and it's pretty far down on the menu. People have been suggesting wonderful pieces, a lot of them classical. Then in the Cafe section there's the "Favorite Songs" thread, with all the lovely stuff from iluvtodd and skatinginbc.

Thanks Olympia, I hope it touches Johar for a moment anyway. I am funny about all music. I either love the song, movie track, classical piece etc or kinda hate it. I know so little classical music and we have a few people on this baord like you who remember so much. funny, years ago in another life my boyfreind was trying to make it as a concert pianist. He had major mgmt in New York. He was very, very good but one has to win competitions to make a name and his nerves seemed to blow up his bursitis. Only a few really make it, like in skating, I guess. Anyway, he'd play a piece of the music two ways and ask me what it should be and I would guess. He told me I had an ear. Back *before* everything changed overnight, I was self taught on acoustic guitar, as I liked to sing. I never got good at guitar, but it was such solace. I can't play anymore, in a long time. Music affects my mood like nothing else, so I that is why I asked for the joyous peices as so much music can take one to a sad, reflective place. Melancholy music I try to avoid. I think Alissa should try to find music like "Lyra" for her last season. I think people would enjoy a change. Maybe something more upbeat a la Irina would push her a little in her jumps.

Anyway, i will look at those threads, I have listened to some in the Cafe thread, which was not my taste. But, there were many links. I'd like to lsiten to orchestral works that are triumphant, joyous. Somehow strong joyous music makes me feel better. If one suffers from pain, depression, losss, illness, one has to constantly monitor what the TV/radio etc is throwing out. Last week I went to see "South pacific" and though it was never a top fave musical for me, the music is fun, uplifting, and I loved the haunting "Bali Hai." It was song done by Mandy Patimkin and is on youtube. I never heard anyone sing it more perfectly, stunningly. The local theatre troupe is doing "King and I" tomorrow. Again, not my fave musical but Rogers and Hammerstein wrote such joyous musicals. So maybe we'll go as rain and yuck is forcast. An inside day.

I used to love Joni Mitchell, Jackson Browne, but find myself not listening to the depressing tunes anymore. I finally saw Diana Ross in concert last year and remembered why Motown made so many people so happy. The crowd was grey but they were loving these tunes. Dating myself here! I wonder if I googled "best loved classical music pieces" what I would find? I think I am the only one here who never minds watching someone skate to "Carmen" or the "Nutcracker." While I appreciate everything, I find I react so strongly to music, so I need to filter what I hear.

I find figure skating as beautiful as ballet when done well and so I'm happy there is so much ballet music used by skaters.

I will check out the edge folder for music suggested for Takahashi. If you haven't see that video about Maddie B the kid who "swept Nationals," you gotta watch it. Don't know how MM found it but it's so adorable. I wish I were her!!
 
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Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Okay, four really happy pieces of classical music. The first two serve a similar function in in the musical history of two different countries.

The overture to the opera Ruslan and Ludmila, one of the first true examples of Russian music, by Mikhail Glinka, considered the father of Russian music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjUijyeFMu0

The overture to the opera The Bartered Bride, one of the first true examples of Czech music, by Bedrich Smetana, considered the father of Czech music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTUHPhYF2J8



Can't you just hear beginning in each of these?

This third one is back to Glinka and Russian opera, and it's more stirring than jolly, but I find it very uplifting. It's the chorus "Glory to Our Tsar" from Glinka's opera A Life for the Tsar (aka Ivan Susanin):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATXpgx2cnag

The fourth one isn't so much classical as Broadway, since you love Richard Rodgers so much (as do I). Here's The Carousel Waltz from Carousel. The musical itself is a bit of a downer, but this waltz is glorious. No lyrics, so you can add your own subtext! I think Boitano skated to it once, but I wish someone else (or a pair or ice dancing couple) would dust it off and try again. It's just so buoyant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tIcAMr0TFQ
 
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skateluvr

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Thanks Olympia, you're awesome. I will listen on the apple as the speakers are better. Carousel, I saw on TV as a child but recall little. Gordon Macrae as the male lead and ? Jones who was Mrs. Partridege? Gotta google.

ETA YUP, Shirley Jones. 'If I loved you' is my from this show, and along with Bali Hai the two best ballads imho from R&H. Funny, I saw Paul Taylor Dance troupe who did 1945 era music, South Pacific came, and this musical too. I have always loved learning WWII history, both theatres but Pacific moreso as my Dad spent 4 years there. Also, recent programs on TV and music have me in the 40's and I love swing/big band era. I watched The Glenn Miller story a million times. If I could still dance, I'd be in Ballroom by now. So frustrating to watch DWTS for me! But 40's era music and shows are the theme lately. I always felt I lived then and quickly came back to earth. Sometimes I ponder reincarnation, and the 40's seem so glamorous and compelling despite the war. My parents were young and stunning in the photos. I used to go to Boston every week to dance to an swing orcchestra long before ballroom hit. It was the 70's!

Great music selections, so sweet of you!
 
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iluvtodd

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Joined
Mar 5, 2004
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Johar, I'm so sorry you're going through such a painful time, and I hope that things will turn around for you soon. Take Olympia & others' musical suggestions to heart. Absolutely go back to watch your favorite Youtube skating performances, and don't miss the "Maddie" video that MM found! Hugs to you!
 
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
I just love Fanfare! And it's wonderful in its other version, as a movement of Copland's Third Symphony. Love that YouTube comment!

Yes indeed, it does get my blood circulating and all the endorphins hopping.
 

skateluvr

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Johar, I'm so sorry you're going through such a painful time, and I hope that things will turn around for you soon. Take Olympia & others' musical suggestions to heart. Absolutely go back to watch your favorite Youtube skating performances, and don't miss the "Maddie" video that MM found! Hugs to you!

I guess I'm the "other" Glad you like my "work." ;)
 

skateluvr

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Olympia, I loved the Carousel Waltz. I see Akiko skating to it, or a number for Alissa to perk up to if she skates next season. I love the Smetana peice. My cat is very jealous of the puter. When it is on my lap, I have a fight with him. He wins as he is so persitent. I will listen to another suggestion tonight and also Dorispulaski's. Quite a memory Doris has.
 
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
So glad you liked the Smetana. Probably his most famous composition is The Moldau, which I'd love to see someone skate to, though it would take judicious editing for time reasons. It's about the river that flows from the mountains (you can hear it springing up from the ground) through the countryside, where Smetana has it pass by a group of country dancers, and then into the city of Prague, past Hradcany Castle. I don't recall anyone skating to it, but you can see its potential in terms of both emotion and tempo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fsYPz4aWnc
 

iluvtodd

Record Breaker
Joined
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Country
United-States
I guess I'm the "other" Glad you like my "work." ;)

Absolutely!!!!! ;):biggrin:

So glad you liked the Smetana. Probably his most famous composition is The Moldau, which I'd love to see someone skate to, though it would take judicious editing for time reasons. It's about the river that flows from the mountains (you can hear it springing up from the ground) through the countryside, where Smetana has it pass by a group of country dancers, and then into the city of Prague, past Hradcany Castle. I don't recall anyone skating to it, but you can see its potential in terms of both emotion and tempo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fsYPz4aWnc

OMG, I :love: the Moldau, too! We were in Prague & Israel last year @ this time. I've alrways wondered, what came first, the Moldau or Hatikvah, the Israeli National Anthem. There are parts of the Moldau that definitely sound like "Hatikvah!"

Carousel Waltz - Klimova & Ponamorenko, Brian B., & the Shibutanis! :love:
Ditto for Copland music!
 
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
I believe "Hatikvah" was based on the same folk tune that Smetana used for "The Moldau," so they have a common ancestor. It's a wonderful melody, isn't it. Smetana was the first of the Czech (really Bohemian in those days) nationalist composers.

All across Europe during the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, composers took to expressing their cultural heritage by incorporating folk tunes, dance rhythms, and traditional stories into their works--even operas. The most prominent Czech composer to do that was of course Dvorak, who was influenced by Smetana. In Poland, Chopin used the polonaise in his piano works. Later on, Vaughan Williams actually went around the English countryside collecting folksongs, which he used liberally in his music. Spain had a fleet of nationalist composers: Granados, Albeniz, de Falla. Russia had Glinka, Tchaikovsky, Moussorgsky, and Rimsky-Korsakov, among others. Even the modernist Stravinsky made his name with The Firebird, which is based on an old Russian fairy tale. Remember that a lot of Israelis came originally from Eastern Europe, and their music would have those influences as well.

I must admit that many if not most of my favorite composers are the nationalist composers. I don't know if that's coincidence, but I suspect I love the same things in the music that the composers loved putting into it. Maybe a lot of you feel that way, too.
 

Dee4707

Ice Is Slippery - Alexie Yagudin
Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 28, 2003
Country
United-States
Johar, just checking in to see how you're doing. Let us know.
 
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