Gracie Gold in-depth interview

[solani]

I think that a big step for her is, that she seems to have realized that she didn't have a meltdown at the WC in 2016. It wasn't a bad skate, it was one of her best skates, it just wasn't enough. That winning isn't the only option. And she really seems to be a very strong person, she just put herself under immense pressure. I hope she'll be able to cope in the future, and she will have to in order to be able to view herself as extraordinary again.

 

[macy]

I think that a big step for her is, that she seems to have realized that she didn't have a meltdown at the WC in 2016. It wasn't a bad skate, it was one of her best skates, it just wasn't enough. That winning isn't the only option. And she really seems to be a very strong person, she just put herself under immense pressure. I hope she'll be able to cope in the future, and she will have to in order to be able to view herself as extraordinary again.

i have always thought the same thing the many times i've watched her 2016 worlds FS...it was in no way a bad skate. i wouldn't even call it mediocre. after winning the short she didn't think she had another option but to win, that she NEEDED to win, and she didn't hold up to the pressure she put on herself. in her eyes it was a failure even though it really wasn't.

i think it has served as a huge lesson for her in this comeback and will for a long time. i think she's going to return a different person and skater who now understands she needs to skate for herself and needs to BE herself if she wants to continue for another 4 years. wishing her all the best no matter what she lands or how she places.

 

[doublequad]

really hope she does well in rostelecom cup. can't wait to see her programs

 

[WeakAnkles]

I just listened to the music for Gracie's free skate, and wow, so powerful, and I would imagine so personal to her.

She Used to Be Mine
Sara Bareilles
It's not simple to say
That most days I don't recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used be, although it's true
I was never attention's sweet center
I still remember that girl
She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
It's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who'll be reckless, just enough
Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she's bruised and gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck
And be scared of the life that's inside her
Growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That's been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

Ah that's the "11:00 number" from the Broadway musical Waitress. Musicals often have a big "Look how far I've come" character number right before the end of the show.

Well I'm looking forward to the interview (when I can devote that big a chunk of time to it) and Gracie skating to this. Anticipation is making me wait!

ETA: Damn! I missed the interview. Really, that's a public DISservice. Nobody feels shame about being a diabetic. Why should there be shame about depression? Hiding it is the WORST thing you can do, because it just reinforces that shame. Way to go YouTube. :disagree:

 

[el henry]

Ah that's the "11:00 number" from the Broadway musical Waitress. Musicals often have a big "Look how far I've come" character number right before the end of the show.

Well I'm looking forward to the interview (when I can devote that big a chunk of time to it) and Gracie skating to this. Anticipation is making me wait!

ETA: Damn! I missed the interview. Really, that's a public DISservice. Nobody feels shame about being a diabetic. Why should there be shame about depression? Hiding it is the WORST thing you can do, because it just reinforces that shame. Way to go YouTube. :disagree:

It appears that the decision to remove the interview was from the interviewer, who from his comments had his own struggles with depression. Whatever the reasons for removing the video, it does not appear related to shame about depression.

 

[princessalica]

It appears that the decision to remove the interview was from the interviewer, who from his comments had his own struggles with depression. Whatever the reasons for removing the video, it does not appear related to shame about depression.

I heard that it’s only down temporarily. Gracie has some marketing or obligations to take care of first. Wasn’t clear if that was USFS obligations.

 

[Koatterce]

I just listened to the music for Gracie's free skate, and wow, so powerful, and I would imagine so personal to her.

She Used to Be Mine
Sara Bareilles
It's not simple to say
That most days I don't recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used be, although it's true
I was never attention's sweet center
I still remember that girl
She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
It's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who'll be reckless, just enough
Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she's bruised and gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck
And be scared of the life that's inside her
Growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That's been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

I absolutely love this song, and it's so suitable for Gracie too

 

[WeakAnkles]

It appears that the decision to remove the interview was from the interviewer, who from his comments had his own struggles with depression. Whatever the reasons for removing the video, it does not appear related to shame about depression.

Well that's good to hear.

 

[CoyoteChris]

Thanks to Mrs P, I decided to go to SA 2015 and was so glad I did. Got my favorite shot with Gracie. I have always been a fan and have seen her make comebacks that shows how much of a fighter she is.
I know anxiety and depression and when I saw her at the airport after her last failed nats I was glad I didnt get the seat next to her on the plane. She just wanted to be left alone....and many here know that feeling.

And now she is on the comeback road to whatever life brings her, and what SHE can make happen...we are all rooting for her. I was able to beat the Noonday demons and I hope she makes it too! You GO Girl.
Read this book, Gracie, you are not alone...
https://www.amazon.com/Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/1501123882

http://i68.tinypic.com/9iw83q.jpg

 

[skateluvr]

I love Sara and her music. It’s a very very touching song.

 

[twirlingblades]

The interview was reposted on YouTube. (On the channel “bootleg skating”).

 

[sailormoon]

I miss the old days when Gold and Wagner were competing against each other for the US national title but both skaters have retired now. I don't know why she agreed to talk to the minor YouTube channel with 59 subscribers, for which she spent 1 hour and 20 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGFPNtdf7MKa0EF2LxdfmPA

Gracie Gold is not retired. Actually neither is Ashley - although unlike Gracie, she isn't currently competing. Gracie is currently slated to compete at Rostelecom Cup.

I was badly informed. At the end of the interview, she actually said that she came back to skating because she wants to live a life without regrets. If she had just entered coaching or gone to college, she would have regret it for the rest of her life. I have something to look forward to now.

 

[SnowWhite]

I miss the old days when Gold and Wagner were competing against each other for the US national title but both skaters have retired now. I don't know why she agreed to talk to the minor YouTube channel with 59 subscribers, for which she spent 1 hour and 20 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGFPNtdf7MKa0EF2LxdfmPA

Gracie Gold is not retired. Actually neither is Ashley - although unlike Gracie, she isn't currently competing. Gracie is currently slated to compete at Rostelecom Cup.

 

[Baron Vladimir]

It appears that the decision to remove the interview was from the interviewer, who from his comments had his own struggles with depression. Whatever the reasons for removing the video, it does not appear related to shame about depression.

Sadly, i think the opposite i think it is removed because someone (the agent, federation etc) think its 'bad publicity or 'wrong marketing'', so...

 

[el henry]

Sadly, i think the opposite i mean, it is removed because someone (the agent, federation etc) think its 'bad publicity', so...

Do you know where the rumor about the “agent” came from? I am asking because I saw speculation here, but nothing to support it.

The original poster of the video removed it. AFAIK, he has no connection to USFS, other than a connection with Gracie coaching his daughter and his connection with Gracie with own struggles with depression. So the original poster would have no “shame” on the subject and would not be subject to any sanctions or influence from USFS :think:

I could see him removing the video at *Gracie’s* request, and perhaps she had some “pushback”. But frankly, I don’t think that comes from sharing her story about mental illness as she has said just as much in tweets and she didn’t remove them.

Until the original interviewer tells us why he removed it, we do not know

 

[andromache]

The original interviewer said something about how it takes a lot of strength to commit suicide, so that's pretty messed up.

Overall, I loved what Gracie had to say in the interview, but the interviewer seemed sketchy - a little bit like he wanted to sell me some life coaching for my network marketing Amway business.

 

[Baron Vladimir]

Do you know where the rumor about the “agent” came from? I am asking because I saw speculation here, but nothing to support it.

The original poster of the video removed it. AFAIK, he has no connection to USFS, other than a connection with Gracie coaching his daughter and his connection with Gracie with own struggles with depression. So the original poster would have no “shame” on the subject and would not be subject to any sanctions or influence from USFS :think:

I could see him removing the video at *Gracie’s* request, and perhaps she had some “pushback”. But frankly, I don’t think that comes from sharing her story about mental illness as she has said just as much in tweets and she didn’t remove them.

Until the original interviewer tells us why he removed it, we do not know

Im just saying what i think. I didnt hear any rumor about it tho, nor i believe in rumors... I mean, it could be a company Gracie promoted or anyone who didnt find the interview as the best thing for 'promoting'...

 

[Sugar Coated]

Gracie NEVER looked overweight---her weight problem was how SHE thought she looked, not how she really looked. That is common to people with eating disorders: it's called body dysmorphia.

I agree with your general point, but wanted to give some info about the terminology. You are correct that disturbance in the way one's body weight or shape is experienced is part of the experience and diagnostic criteria for anorexia. However thiss really shouldn’t be called “body dysmorphia” although both can involve delusions and distorted perception of ones body.

Body dysmorphia is part of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and it’s a different disorder (although they often overlap). BDD by definition does not include preoccupation with being overweight (although this may also exist within BDD) but involves a specific area of the body. Often a preoccupation with skin or an area of the face or not being muscular enough in certain area. Someone who thinks about their arms being flabby or fat for at least an hour a day, who refuses to ever show their bare arms in public and constantly compares her arms to other people would have BDD. She could also have anorexia. But doesn’t necessarily have it unless she’s significantly underweight. BDD is related to OCD and involves obsessions/compulsions. It’s equally as common in men and women and has an extremely high rate of suicide. Excessive plastic surgery could be a form of the compulsions (think Michael Jackson) or excessive make-up routines (not going outside the house without 2 hours of make-up). So someone can have both anorexia and BDD. But anorexia requires an underweight BMI (and intense fear of gaining weight) whereas BDD But I think that people misuse or throw around the “body dysmorphia” without really understanding how it’s meant to be used (not you in particular, lots of people). Although this may change in the future. Sorry to be a nerd.

I hope Gracie stays off the internet and social media. I don’t think the original comment was meant in mean spirits and was looking for possible evidence of increased training. But I agree she doesn’t need this at all, especially right now.

Also, to be clear I’m not suggesting Gracie has anorexia or BDD, just wanted to explain the difference. I believe she has discussed a possibly eating disorder but that’s a broad term and not a diagnosis in and of itself.

 

[satine]

The original interviewer said something about how it takes a lot of strength to commit suicide, so that's pretty messed up.

Overall, I loved what Gracie had to say in the interview, but the interviewer seemed sketchy - a little bit like he wanted to sell me some life coaching for my network marketing Amway business.

Not to play devil's advocate here, but from the way he was talking, I believe what he was meaning to say was he himself was 'weak' in the fact that he needed to reach out when he was depressed before it got to the point of wanting to commit suicide. In other words, he was saying people who are 'strong' enough to suffer with depression alone, without help, are the ones to commit suicide. Another take on this is he was saying that suicide does not necessarily equal weakness.

I am not justifying his words or agreeing with him, just pointing out that is what I took away from his words.

 

[Sugar Coated]

Not to play devil's advocate here, but from the way he was talking, I believe what he was meaning to say was he himself was 'weak' in the fact that he needed to reach out when he was depressed before it got to the point of wanting to commit suicide. In other words, he was saying people who are 'strong' enough to suffer with depression alone, without help, are the ones to commit suicide. Another take on this is he was saying that suicide does not necessarily equal weakness.

I am not justifying his words or agreeing with him, just pointing out that is what I took away from his words.

I don’t know the context and believe the video was taken down. I also know nothing about this person or his history.

But from how the comment is described, it sounds like something you’d hear from a depressed person who has had significant suicidal ideation. They are often critical of themselves for NOT being able to go through with it. It’s something I’d expect from someone who has come very close but then encounters fear or the self preservation instinct and thinks that they just aren’t “strong” enough to overcome this. Whereas you hear people in the general population describe people thinking about or completing suicide as being “cowards,” or “weak” or “selfish.”

Suicide is complicated, it can involve a variety of complex motivations and different risk factors. But we shouldn’t be glorifying it as needing “strengh” to complete. We also shouldn’t be shaming suicide as that may make people thinking about it less to reach out for help or feel like they can talk about their experience.