- Joined
- Oct 25, 2012
Yes, I know that it has happened before. I was always deeply uncomfortable with a certain skater (now retired) who, in his 30s, was reappearing with a new 16-17 year old partner almost every season. Yes, he gave them opportunities to go to Euros, Worlds and the Olympics, which they probably would not have had otherwise, but it seemed like the girls were just disposable commodities for promoting the country and his career. I am not saying that he was abusive towards those girls, but the whole dynamic did seem odd and none of the partnerships lasted.
When I started reading your post, I immediately thought of a particular skater. But as I read on, I realised it was not who I was thinking of because, although he had much younger partners after his long-term partner retired, there were not as many of them and he stayed with each of them for quite a few years. But I will bring him into the conversaation because, according to the DOB on her ISU Bio, the first of these younger partners had only just turned 15 when they partnered up (I word it that way because I have long had suspicions that she is actually a few years younger than what her ISU Bio says. But that is another matter). She was around half his age when they started out!
Anyway, I then realised who it was that you were talking about. And I have to admit, although the fact that he was going through so many partners after his long-term partner retired did come up on my radar, I didn't actually pay much attention to them. So I didn't notice that all these short term partners were so young. But I did think the same as you, that it made it look like Pairs girls were disposible and could be replaced at the drop of a hat. And that is not fair, because being a Pairs girl is a highly skilled, and risky, role.
I agree. The fact that the parents think this is fine doesn't actually make it fine if the younger family members have no or little say in who they're partnered with. I don't know them personally, but British relatives who do have opinions that run the gamut from "Oh, they're just an unconventional family" to "Their idea of what's acceptable makes me really uneasy for the kids."
I wonder if the "unconventional family" viewpoint could be due to the fact that the Zoe is so much older than Chris. Because you don't tend to see many relationships consisting of an older woman and a younger man. When there is an age difference, it is usually the other way around.
Generally speaking, regardless of how the people involved behave, society does tend to be suspicious about age difference couples. As this whole discussion shows.
In some cases, we are right to be suspicious. But in other cases, it is totally innocent. The problem is identifying which is which.
When I was in my mid-forties, I skated for two seasons with a young recent competitor in his mid-twenties. He was training to be accredited as a pairs coach, but with a male mentor, and wanted a steady, experienced female partner to practise on before he tried teaching lifts, twist, throws et al to young beginners. He was strong and reliable as a partner, with the right protective instincts, a bit inhibited as a performer but sound technically. We got along well on the ice, but it was a working relationship only. We had no contact with each other away from the rink. My husband and kids teased a bit about me "going babysitting today at the arena?", but otherwise no eyebrows were raised.
I know this is getting away from the point that is being discussed, but I am so impressed that this guy was so serious about wanting to teach things the right way that he went to the effort of training with a more experienced partner to make sure he got everything absolutely right. That is totally the right attitude for a prospective coach to have. I hope he went on to have a successful coaching career.
And I did laugh at the way your family teased you about it.
CaroLiza_fan
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