Was coach out of line?

My daughter occasionally works with a secondary coach for moves at the request of her primary. This secondary coach has a reputation for at times being out of line and immature (for a 30-something year old). She really ticked me off about a year ago with something she said to my daughter but I let it go although I did cut back on lessons with her. The other day she decided to work on spins to take a break from moves and after a combo spin she said to my daughter "that was awful, Anna does that far better than you and she's only 8 years old". (My daughter is 11). My gut and common sense tells me that this is completely wrong and grounds for ending any coaching by this woman but then I question if I'm overly sensitive. Is this typical in coaching figure skaters? To complicate things this coach is also one of her synchro team coach so it's not possible to completely cut ties. Any thoughts or advice appreciated!

Her remark to your daughter is not so much out of line but bad coaching. It does not include anything to help your duaghter improve but may be very discouraging or even humiliating. She should be pointing out the wrong technique and teach the right way to do it better. How does your daughter take this?

Is this coach otherwise a good coach? Do her students show good improvements and results? More specifically, does your daughter do well under her, technically and emotionally? I think you should base your decision on her effect on her daughter, not so much on if she ticks you off or whether or not this is a typical coaching style. Of course, she's probably ticking you off because you feel she is bad for your daughter. Reasons and gut feelings should give you your answer.

Carrie76 said:

My daughter occasionally works with a secondary coach for moves at the request of her primary. This secondary coach has a reputation for at times being out of line and immature (for a 30-something year old). She really ticked me off about a year ago with something she said to my daughter but I let it go although I did cut back on lessons with her. The other day she decided to work on spins to take a break from moves and after a combo spin she said to my daughter "that was awful, Anna does that far better than you and she's only 8 years old". (My daughter is 11). My gut and common sense tells me that this is completely wrong and grounds for ending any coaching by this woman but then I question if I'm overly sensitive. Is this typical in coaching figure skaters? To complicate things this coach is also one of her synchro team coach so it's not possible to completely cut ties. Any thoughts or advice appreciated!

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Personally, I'd ditch the secondary coach. Such behaviour from a coach is not typical. Some coaches will encourage rivalry, or be tough on their students, but if they're making your daughter feel inadequate, it's not positive coaching. I'm not for coaches who coddle, but that's the other end of the spectrum -- nothing positive or constructive can be gained from comments like that.

Regarding coaches making comparisons and rivalries, one of my coaches clearly had a favourite student who was essentially at my level, and devoted all her time to him - she was a solid coach for me, but I always felt that she was just going through the motions with me and I was very much "just another horse in the stable". She was never mean to me, just not particularly encouraging or putting in as much effort with me. So I switched coaches, and my new coach, while she had many students, paid attention to me and I never felt like she was just going through the motions as my previous coach was like. Sometimes a change of scenery is fine. And your daughter's primary coach should understand.

I think the primary job of an individual athletic coach is to motivate the student to learn new things or perfect previously learned skills.

Not all approaches are effective for every student.

So, the question is: Did that motivate your daughter to improve?

None of us will know that answer, but you do.

Now, if she's just skating for personal enjoyment, that's a different matter.

I think you may be a bit sensitive about this since it is your child. If you don't like the way she talks to your child, you should tell her and set her straight though. That's just my opinion. I've heard and seen worse. That comment is actually pretty mild.

It sounds like an insult, the way you have it quoted. My coach sometimes uses examples that require reference to other adult skaters whom she knows I know, but never in a way that would sound insulting to either me or the students being referenced. It is mostly either to give me a visualization (since I see those people skating all the time), or in comparisons of learning styles and the difference in teaching techniques she uses depending on which student she is with. I would not be happy if a coach insulted me.

I think it is par for the course.

You need to weigh the positives that your daughter gets from this coach against the negatives and then decide which outweighs the other.

Ice skating is a brutal sport in many different ways.

Is your daughter's main goal to have fun? How did she react to it? Does she enjoy having lessons with this coach? Does the coach also praise her when she does something well?