Crazy Predictions Thread

A few months ago I was lurking the archives, and I stumbled upon a hilarious thread which was last years crazy predictions thread. It cracked me up so much that I finally decided to stop lurking and create an account and well here I am.

Just a disclaimer that these are for pure enjoyment, not meant as actual predictions but just for some laughs, and hopefully no one will get offended. Completely unrealistic predictions are 100% welcome

So, I guess I’ll just put mine here.

1) Tarasova & Morosov decide to try something new again for their FS next year and after watching the Olympic gala for inspiration decide upon a K-Pop themed free featuring Min/Gamelin’s Lollipop ex music. It goes over so badly that they get 5’s in PCS. For lack of further inspiration they decide to revert to “Candyman” but with some new music cuts now including the Oompa Loompa theme from Willy Wonka. They then end up winning worlds when S/H’s Moulin Rouge! Program goes badly.

2) Papaidakis & Cizeron make major mistakes in their Tango SD at almost every major international competition and are unable to pull themselves back up in the FD with their new Forest noises program. They end up off the podium at every international competition until worlds where they bring back to build a home, and win with a perfect FD score.

3)Yuzuru lands the 4A in competition. Nathan no longer being called the technical prodigy by every figure skating fan decides to get programs with transitions. He wins GPF because of deserved PCS and a costume malfunction deduction. At worlds, Nathan does a 4S + 4T and his transitions no longer mean anything. He finishes just off the podium at worlds behind Boyang skating to Pokémon, Yuzuru with his 4A & Trusova with four backloaded quads.

4)Adam Rippon gets so famous that he hosts a talk-show with Ellen Degeneress featuring figure skating commentary. The ratings are so good that it puts every other commentator but B.ESP out of business. Johnny & Tara are so angry that after half a year they take over B.ESP. But, right before worlds they are fired and replaced by Meaghen Duhamel after they lose it over T/M reverting to Candyman 2.0

5) Jason leaves Kori to train with Eteri at Sambo 70. He then wins US nationals skating to a Backloaded version of his riverdance program with two clean quad toe’s because Nathan decides to skip Nationals to have a competition with Vincent over who can land a rippon 4Lz first.

6) Multiple ice dancers remix despacito for their SD, and it officially joins the forum warhorse list.

7)Alina trades in her Tutu’s for the worst of the worst of the Latin SD dresses. She then wins worlds skating to a backloaded version of her exhibition without the candle, and a backloaded Willy Wonka Jr program.

Hopefully this thread gets going, I really enjoyed reading the one from last year

Omg, I want someone to skate to Willy Wonka Jr! And I think know who: Lorraine McNamara/Quinn Carpenter.

cheerknithanson said:

Omg, I want someone to skate to Willy Wonka Jr! And I think know who: Lorraine McNamara/Quinn Carpenter.

Click to expand...

Oooh, now that would be an interesting program!

Such a beautiful day for crazy predictions...

Alena Kostornaia leaves Eteri and lands at Toronto Cricket Club to be coached by Brian Orser to become.. second Yu-Na Kim. She wins the OG, or maybe not? Wait! Her best rival comes from... Japan, obviously and it's Lady Bond Wakaba Higuchi, who masters 3A and a couple of quads by OG. So who wins his battle? The only thing I know is that right at the moment when Wakaba lands her last 3A in her free program Gracie Gold screams "Oh Shhhwarovski!" and gives birth to a beautiful baby girl- the future OGM.

Okay, now... this is close: Medvedeva gets her 2018-2019 SP from Jeff Buttle, LP from Lori Nichol (she's got the money so she can). Zaghitova lands two programs from her beloved coaches, but of course! Zagitova wins the GPF but Medvedeva wins both Europeans and Worlds. Zagi is not happy and leaves to Brian Orser. So does Loena Hendrix.

Yuzu is being unhappy and lonely after his best friend Javi does not give a blade about winning titles anymore. So BOrser has no idea how to entertain him anymore. Quads Loop and Salchow keep fighting, Quad Lutz dumps him, Quad Axel wouldn't answer his love letters- damn it, what to do? Suddenly after another season of silly programs and bum-ended Quad Lutzes Mikhail Kolyada wins a lottery (or lands a huge Sponsorship) and leaves to train under Arutyunyan. In a month or so he and Nathan Chen get into a beastly fight caused by a local beauty queen resulting in another Russian being sent out from an American ice-rink. What to do? Mikhail gets his shorts together and moves to... yeah, right... Toronto Cricket Club. He buys a ton of Kleenex boxes for Yuzu's Winnie the Pooh and they become instant friends. Then he lands a beautiful Quad Lutz in a month of proper coaching and becomes' Yuzu's next best Nemesis. Yuzu studies quad Lutz technique after Kolyada. He totally hates him. Kolyada doesn't give a damn and falls in love with Kostornaia. Kostornaia couldn't care less. She wants to become the next Russian one time legend- and OGM. "I don't believe in boys"- she says in an interview and becomes an icon, for somebody for sure.

Jason Brown switches coaches three times in three years and quits sport right before the OG. So do all those who were the top competitors in Pyeongchang. Except one. He wins the OGM. Again???

In Russia they settle a huge top secret military base where they get the best coaches from around the world to build the new Ice Dance Champions. Finally they get two someones who are really decent. They win the OG. The partner becomes Russian President in a few decades, eventually. His partner becomes the American First Lady, a few decades earlier.

Russians Tarasova- Morozov do not win the next OG. So they stay until the next Olympics. And the next one. I mean...

Eteri becomes the first Lady ISU President. All the rules are changed according to her best interests ever since. Skaters forget how to skate. Jumps are allowed everywhere in the program, including the part where the skater is leaving the ice rink to get to the Kiss&Cry. Extra Bonus is given to those who can perform 3Lz+3Lo in Kiss& Cry in the first minute after the music stop playing. The Bonus is called Extra-Entertainment. It is awarded by Eteri herself. Based on the blind vote between her right and left eye.

Happy April's Fool, everyone!

I predict that I won't get a chocolate Easter bunny this year.

The rise of the russian men and the fall of the russian ladies. A new era begins

Yuzuru lands all the quads, including the 4A, which encourages other skaters to attempt the 4A. With multiple skaters landing the 4A, the Japanese Fed lobbies to increase the point value of the 4A. The US Fed finally approves when Vincent lands an UR 4A that is given +2 GOE. Yuzuru wins Skate Canada and Four Continents, but places second at the NHK due to a fall on the 4A. Shin Amano is kept far away from the Men's Competition.. At Worlds, Yuzuru, Nathan, and Vincent win 1st, 2nd, and 3rd respectively. The US Media start speaking about a new era of dominance. Boyang is 4th despite a clean performance. Yuzuru skates to Unravel, dressed in Kaneki's battle suit with red scarves as kagune coming out of his back. All lines and details on his costume are bejeweled of course. Ishida-sensei is so thrilled that Yuzuru gets a cameo in the manga as a CCG officer eaten by the antagonist,who is then bitten by Kaneki.
Evgenia fixes her jump technique. She wins her third world title. In joy, she forgets her PR training, and hugs Yuzuru and Boyang. Meanwhile, Alina starts asking if Orser has room for another student. Trusova lands all the quads except for 4A. The genderbent version of her appears as Yurio's new rival in the second season of YOI.