Long post here
Certainly, I'm upset watching her skate. I'm upset because I know she is capable of so much more than what she put out on the ice today. She had wonderful practice sessions, and even though she did make some errors, she seemed to have really strong jumps. I'm upset because I hate how hard this season is for her. She went from winning everything to having to fight for every jump. Why? We can't know. Certainly it can have to do with her physical growth, and her mental pressure. She's a perfectionist, and I think the more she makes mistakes, the bigger her desire to prove she's not done grows. I'm upset because I can tell just how upset she is. She looks confused. Why can she do it in practice and not competition?
I think what Alina needs is work with a sports psychologist or someone who can help her overcome her own doubts and anxiety. She can clearly hit all the jumps, and she seems comfortable with her coaching team. It's only after poor performances that she seems rattled, and I think it's more with herself than anything. She is putting so much pressure on herself to do well, and there's clearly outside pressure as well (from the internet, from her country, from whomever, etc.) While her technique has needed to change after her growth spurt, it seems to work well for her. Until she goes to competition.
Alina has a fighter's mentality, but eventually too much is too much. There's too much pressure on her to do well, and on top of it she's just 16. The pressure she faces seems to come from all sides:
1. She has to prove that she can skate even though she's grown considerably since last season
2. She has to prove that her Olympic gold medal wasn't a fluke and that she's not a one-time wonder
3. She has to prove that she even deserved her gold medal, by skating similarly throughout this season
4. She has to prove that she deserves her spots, because there are always those who thinks she is incredibly overscored
5. She has to prove herself to her country, where many still think that Evgenia should've won the Olympics. And that's a worldwide mentality - she is also proving herself to the world.
6. She has to keep spots for her country for next year. She has to make sure that Russia has three spots for worlds and Europeans next year
7. She has to prove that she's still a contender, especially in a country like Russia where there is so much depth and even more just waiting in the junior ranks
Obviously all skaters deal with pressure and expectations, but I think it's not unreasonable to think that Alina deals with more than most. And she's still so young that I think it's too much. No doubt she was trying to prove herself today. And it was just too much for her to deal with today.
I hope Alina is able to realize how many people love her for her - not her results or medals. I hope she realizes that she doesn't have to prove her worth to anyone. But most of all, I hope she can be happy with how she does, both in skating and in life.
And this is why I love all of Alina's fans, and her fan accounts (especially TeamZagitova, who is incredible). I'm so glad she got so much support today and even got a huge bear. I hope that made her happy even through her sadness
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