This just makes me sick! Here people went above and beyond to help and they trash the place. Sheesh!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1530896/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1530896/posts
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Therein might lie the problem, said psychologist Harald Graning of Confidential Counseling of Westminster.
While the Browns might look like the ultimate ingrates, their response is not unnatural, he said.
"Suppose that you were living your life," he said, "and all of a sudden God came down and destroyed your house? You'd probably be pissed."
The anger that people feel under such circumstances needs to be vented and often isn't.
Unfortunately, the overwhelming generosity of others can backfire by intensifying the recipient's sense of anger and helplessness.
"You are forced to accept charity," he said. "It's demeaning."
Doing good makes the benefactor feel better, not the person being helped, he said. When the person on the receiving end can't repay the kindness and feels compelled to feel appreciative, he or she can become extremely frustrated. Acting out can occur.
Church members trying to make sense of the situation shouldn't feel rejected or upset their gifts were rejected, he said.
NJSk8Fan said:The worst thing about the "victims" reacting badly to help is that it makes those that can help hesitant to do it for the next person, who may be totally grateful for the help.
Thanks for posting that link. Again, I'm not excusing the trashing of the house, or the son's spray-painting (although it appears he is accepting resposibility), but when I first moved to Seattle, I was fortunate enough to have been put up for 3 weeks my a friend's dad and stepmom, for free. It was very generous of them, and I was quite appreciative. But after 2 days, my friend told me that her stepmom told her to tell me that I needed to unpack my clothes instead of piling my luggage in the closet, and that I needed to make my bed fully every morning. They were worried that my luggage (stacked one on top of the other) would scratch the paint on the back wall of their closet, and theyb were not ok with me pulling the cover up over the bed (I was 21, I admit bed-making wasn't on the top of my list). Clearly, my hosts were coming into "my" room while I wasn't there, which freaked me out. I adhered to their conditions, but I felt very disrespected. I offer this only as an example of generosity crossing over into stewardship. I will always be grateful for the kindness I received from my friend's family, but I did not feel welcome at all while I was there once I realized that they were entering my space when I was not there.KBell said:From Baltimore Sun
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/carroll/bal-md.ca.house02dec02,1,7462167.story?track=rss
Gives more factual info than the link from the Free Rebublic. It does indeed seem like there were 2 sides to this story. Not condoning what they did at all, but as I from and currently live in the Hurricane Area (New Orleans) and staying w/a friend until my own home is repaired, I see how this can occur. No one likes things given to them w/strings attached especially people under great amounts of stress.