フィギュアスケートLife Vol.21 (5/29/20) International shipping is available from these sellers.
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Excerpts from Kazuki inteview:
Translation:
--The season ended unexpectedly. (Interview was in March)
I was really looking forward to Coupe du Printemps. I was on the Japanese team with Mitsuki (Sumoto) and Sota (Yamamoto) and I was motivated to compete together with them. I kind of understood that it could not have been helped under the circumstances but I lost my tension thinking “It’s over....." I was sort of okay because at the 4CC I had been able to do what I could do to some extent, but I felt a little sorry for the other guys.
--When did you hear the news?
It was very late. About two weeks before (the competition). At that time, the Namba rink was already closed, and I was afraid I would have to go to the competition without practice. However, since Chukyo became the only one open for practice for the time being, I switched into fight mode and I was heading to Chukyo, Then an email came when I was on the train and it said that they decided to withdraw from the event. By the time I arrived at Chukyo, I was in a state of daze. Sota was there too and we said to each other, “What should we do?” (laughs). We said that we’ve just got into the off-season, and our minds went blank.
--How was the practice on that day?
Everything I had maintained was disrupted, but I did all the jumps anyway. Until the day before, I had been doing the run-throughs many times, and I didn’t know what to practice.
--How about now?
Now I do the regular off-season training.
--Your free (at Japanese Nationals) was so amazing. I saw you cry for the first time in a long time (laughs).
Hehe (laughs). I knew I did a great job and I felt like crying. I had a feeling I was gonna cry.
--It was the same in Milan. Do you cry when you feel relieved?
Well, that’s probably true. I get really emotional when I feel relieved. When I am freed I am overjoyed...
--You release the feelings you’ve suppressed?
I tend to hold my emotions in check a little too much.
--You have that kind of personality? Holding back too much of your emotions?
I guess so. I think usually I am an open book, but I also have a tendency to bottle up my emotions (laughs). I’ll tell you an interesting story; one time I was in psychology class and filled out a simple long questionnaire. Until that time I had thought I was pretty good at resetting myself, but the result said, "You get burned out when you finally notice it, " and it was an unsettling thought that I was the type of person having pent-up feelings, and I didn't expect that (laugh).
--We get the impression that you are the type to lighten up the atmosphere.
That's true. But maybe I try too hard sometimes.
--Do you make a conscious effort to brighten up the mood?
No, I don’t. I can be myself when I interact with other people. But I may have a tendency to hide my weakness and act tough. Perhaps that’s why I may pile up my feelings somehow. But I’m not worried about it that much.
--What do you do when you are in bad form or feel down?
What I do is lower the difficulty level of practice and build confidence. It's very important to give it a rest, so when I really feel like I’m not myself, I lower the level and do what I can. If I concentrate on it, I will want to try again. I would rather set a goal for each practice and achieve it, but as I am a human, there are times I am totally off. On such bad days if I practice like crazy I’ll mess up or may injure myself. Having said that, when I’m in bad shape, sometimes I still get irritated as before and I lose control. So I try to hold it down and tell myself that It’s no use going all out at the moment.
--You're mature now?
Hehe, Now I am capable of practicing like an adult--maybe (laugh).