Here is an article that describes Mao's feelings about her deciding whether to retire or not before Nationals and the reasons why she finally decided to continue. It's in Japanese, but a lot of the meaning can be guessed at through google translate.
http://news.livedoor.com/article/detail/11030743/
Some information I think was able to understand from google translate. If anyone knows Japanese, please correct me if I am wrong:
Mao: I want people (fans) to support me with full force. Not meeting these expectations is frustrating. While feeling depressed, there was the option to retire. I am going to give word for word translation: She decided to participate because "you do not hit the road as the last of distinction,"
The article is quite positive towards Mao because it mentions that after her first jumping mistakes, she showed off a performance of the soul and then she smiled for making the world team.
Then, Mao said , "I 've been looking ahead at the Olympics until now, (but) now it is really one game at a time." I think it concludes with Mao thanking Mai for her support.
I read another comment from Mao: I realized the hard work of other skaters while resting one year.
Here are some details that the poster CONK included about the video with Mao and Mai discussing Mao's situation. I have made a very long comment on other forums, but here I just want to mention how amazing it is to me that Mao has the nobility to never once mention her two illnesses at the NHK and the Grand Prix Final as reasons or excuses for the difficulties she had in her performances or for her negative feelings though I think they had to be major factors. I think Mao should not have competed in these events because of these illnesses which seriously affected her performances and weakened her mental resolve. Then, she would have gone into Nationals with two wins (at the Japan Open and the Cup of China) and her feelings would have been far different. But, as
Franklin says below, Mao's path has never been an easy one and it is her tragedy and the triumphs as well as her incredible talent and ability to touch people's hearts and souls that makes her so compelling. The uplifting last three minutes of her achingly beautiful LP at Nationals began to show the rainbow after the storm, which I am optimistic will shine brightly in Mao's performances at 4CC's and Worlds.
More information from
CONK about the video posted at dailymotion with highlights mentioned by
IronLotus. Thanks to IronLotus for your translation.
CONK said After GPF, before Nationals:
- Mao talks about having the thought of skipping Nationals prior to the competition. She thinks by withdrawing, it would be an easier way out. But she also realized that had she WD-ed, she'd probably regret doing that later on. So eventually she went on to the Nationals.
After SP
- Just as described, after the SP performance, Mao contacted Mai out of surprise. They had the deal before that Mai would not go to any of Mao's competitions. But as Mao was asking if Mai would come to Nationals, Mai's first reaction was: perhaps this is the last competition for Mao.
For FS
- The cheering from the audiences probably gave Mao a lot of power. Although the 1st 2 jumping passes were not so successful, she managed the Lz and was able to make it through with the rest of the program, and gave the best performance she could. So after FS, it comes naturally to Mao that 'she will be able to continue.'