Tara Considers Herself An Actress Now

[gezando]

As for Richard Callaghan being harsh to her, I dunno.

It was kind of a shock when that article appeared in Newsweek in 99

But from all the reports she sure sounded like a girl always got her way (like doing 50 3loop/3loop a day, regardless Rich or Pat called it off, she just kept doing) -- Though it does not supprise me, she was the only child in family.

Hughes and Michelle Kwan seem to be grounded by their siblings. I am not sure Tara always got her way. Being the only child does not necessarily mean s/he wil always got his/her way. Sometimes when a child is placed above his / her sibs when the parents go all he way to please one child at the expense of the sibs, that is probably more devastating. (Think Andrew Cunanan, who always got his way at the expense of his sibs)

 

[hockeyfan228]

Though it does not supprise me, she was the only child in family.

Does that mean every child in China is willful, headstrong, single-minded, and disobedient?

 

[mzheng]

Does that mean every child in China is willful, headstrong, single-minded, and disobedient?

I would say, statisticly more of them, compared to the children years ago, when multiple children allowed in a family years ago. Years ago, there are couple of examples of those top students from china, who were accepted in some PHD program here in US, who can't handle the pressure or can't accept the fact they are no more that 'special' to their professors, who killed his professor then went on suiccid.......But again it depends on the way the parents brought up them. After years of single child policy, some parents especially in city where ppl get more education started see the light, they try to bring up the single child in a different way.....In Tara's case, the way Pat Lipinsky's behaviou I certainly see her allow Tara getting her way whatever she wanted.

I guess what I try to say is when you are young, its OK you get your way with your parents or some adaults, they always treat you as a wishfull kid. cut you a lot slacks.....but if you bring this type of habbit into your adault life, watch out soon or late you'd bumpped by wall.....you have to take the consequence of your own behaviours.

 

[jenaj]

I would say, statisticly more of them, compared to the children years ago, when multiple children allowed in a family years ago. Years ago, there are couple of examples of those top students from china, who were accepted in some PHD program here in US, who can't handle the pressure or can't accept the fact they are no more that 'special' to their professors, who killed his professor then went on suiccid.......But again it depends on the way the parents brought up them. After years of single child policy, some parents especially in city where ppl get more education started see the light, they try to bring up the single child in a different way.....In Tara's case, the way Pat Lipinsky's behaviou I certainly see her allow Tara getting her way whatever she wanted.


If you check into the research on birth order and only children you will find that there is no conclusive evidence that only children end up selfish or narcissistic (or that first children are leaders, second children conciliators, etc.).

 

[mzheng]

If you check into the research on birth order and only children you will find that there is no conclusive evidence that only children end up selfish or narcissistic (or that first children are leaders, second children conciliators, etc.).

OK, does this research include the sampling from China? What I'm saying here is based on my years of observation and experience (the data samples certainly less than official research).

 

[euterpe]

I can remember Tara bursting into tears in the K&C after falling in the 1998 Nationals SP. If she had fallen during the program and then got up and skated up a storm, I could understand her making that comment about "another skater" going to pieces after a fall, and SHE didn't do that. But what Tara did was bomb the SP, recoup and skate a good FS---something Kwan did many times in her career. Typically, if Kwan messed up her SP, she'd come out for the FS like a fire-breathing dragon and ace it (think Nationals 2004).

So Tara's comment doesn't really make any sense.

I will say that it wasn't Tara who badmouthed Kwan at every opportunity, it was Pat Lipinski. Tara unfairly took the brunt of criticism for the outrageous things her mother said and did.

 

[Rgirl]

I would say, statisticly more of them, compared to the children years ago, when multiple children allowed in a family years ago. Years ago, there are couple of examples of those top students from china, who were accepted in some PHD program here in US, who can't handle the pressure or can't accept the fact they are no more that 'special' to their professors, who killed his professor then went on suiccid.......But again it depends on the way the parents brought up them. After years of single child policy, some parents especially in city where ppl get more education started see the light, they try to bring up the single child in a different way.....In Tara's case, the way Pat Lipinsky's behaviou I certainly see her allow Tara getting her way whatever she wanted.

I guess what I try to say is when you are young, its OK you get your way with your parents or some adaults, they always treat you as a wishfull kid. cut you a lot slacks.....but if you bring this type of habbit into your adault life, watch out soon or late you'd bumpped by wall.....you have to take the consequence of your own behaviours.

So you have statistics that show more only children in China today are behaving selfishly and "do whatever they want," or something to that effect, than Chinese children of 15 years ago before the "one child rule." Fascinating! What are the statistics and what is your source?

Rgirl

 

[havanamesa1]

So you have statistics that show more only children in China today are behaving selfishly and "do whatever they want," or something to that effect, than Chinese children of 15 years ago before the "one child rule." Fascinating! What are the statistics and what is your source?

Rgirl

Mzheng already mentioned that her comments were based on her observation. While not the same as any formal study conducted under the strictest standards of research, years of immersion in that culture certainly has way more credibility than any study generalizing behavior about people that most likely didn't even include the population being talked about. If the study was conducted in the US and used Americans as a sample, we cannot say the same about the Chinese.

 

[soogar]

Well are these only children boys or girls? The Chinese already spoil their boys rotten and since they are limited to one child, most likely select for a boy child. The boys are already insufferable, couple that with being an only child, makes them even worse.

While we are talking about experiences, I've never seen a spoiled Chinese only child that was a girl.

 

[mzheng]

So you have statistics that show more only children in China today are behaving selfishly and "do whatever they want," or something to that effect, than Chinese children of 15 years ago before the "one child rule." Fascinating! What are the statistics and what is your source?

Rgirl

More than 15 years ago. I don't have official statistics, but I did read/listening a lot chinese medias when I was there. And I do have a lot friends I grown up with there, an army of cousins, a building of neighbours, etc. It was a very closed community and still is (given the population density there). We talked and disscused what a different generations now than back of what we were and generations before....

Before it was like most families having several kids, they have to compete for the attention of parents, big kids in family have to take care younger ones(especially in country side) since after communist both parents have to work. In school, even in city, one class usually had over 50 kids. Sometimes the girls in city at 4th grade and over (about 12 years old) would maintain household for their parents (like buying food, cooking, cleanning, washing no wash machine, etc.), here you'd think it's child abuse. But it was common practice there, whom you going to sue? You can't put over 80% parents to the jail.....kids growing up in that env in general learned how to care about their sibblings, parents, in a very young age, late when they grown up it is likely the extend the practice to other ppl....

Now with one child policy, it was like 2 generations (parents, grand parents) 6 ppl concentrates on one child, each tried their best to satisfy whatever the demand from the kid....one parent tried to decipline the kid, others would come to rescure. The kid is the living center of 6 ppl. What do you expect he/she to be when he/she grown up?.....things may change a bit, especially in city, the good economic env and the new generation parents who with good education background may see the light.....

In my generation, if you were an only child in your family, you were seen having some kind previlige amoung young kids friends and amoung the adaults surrand you. And even there are official policy in favor of only child.....But now with one child policy had been practiced so many years society no more see previlige of the only child in family, instead the parents/grand parents were 'competing' who can give the most advantage to their only child over other family, this could spoil the kid, imo.

Anyway, it was total different env and cutual influence for kids back in my generation in china and compare it to here.....I'm not going to say which is better. Each society/cultral has to practice what they seems to fit to their society/cultual and this went with history and learned with history.....As for me, I try my best to combine the better from both sides to bring up my kid.

 

[mzheng]

Well are these only children boys or girls? The Chinese already spoil their boys rotten and since they are limited to one child, most likely select for a boy child. The boys are already insufferable, couple that with being an only child, makes them even worse.

While we are talking about experiences, I've never seen a spoiled Chinese only child that was a girl.

Now, officially it is forbiden to use ultral sounic to identify the gender of unborn. But ppl can always found their way to do it...... I'd say it is still common in country side that couple wanted the boy more than girl for two reasons, one because the boy will cary family name. the other is more practical that the boy will be major labour of the family, and when they grown up and marry they will bring in more labors to the family; while girls when they marry they no longer belong to family. It was like raise a child for someone else, to some of them.

But in city, ppl don't take it so much different. It was like "A son for the Name"-- just for the sake of you give a birth to a son. "A daughter for the luck" -- since girl is more intimited to their parents, more care about them, and in city labours are no issues.

Finally, by now after so many years of applying single child policy, government sees the long term risk and burden to the whole society. Since when the population getting old, government need to spend money to take care them....now it is officially allowed 2nd child if both parents are the single child from their own family. But strangely, the most young couples(nephews, neices) I know chose not to have the 2nd one. And even with one, they usually just let their parents taking care of at week days, since they were busy at work and enjoy lifes. And the grand parents gladly take over, since when they were young the don't have that much time with their own kid (both have to work), now most of them retires at early age (in city the labour market is overflowed) gladly to have third generation with them......I'll contribute all this to the educations and the prosperouse economic env provide the more oppertunities to young generations there.

But I could see the potential problem with quality of population. The more educated ppl (mostly in city) does not want more kids, while less educated ppl (most in country side) with lower income rather having kids one after one until they got a son.

Sorry for the long post.

 

[Mathman]

Thank you for sharing your interesting perspectives, MZheng.

MM

 

[jenaj]

OK, does this research include the sampling from China? What I'm saying here is based on my years of observation and experience (the data samples certainly less than official research).

No, but the research suggests that personality traits are not formed by external things like being spoiled or not having siblings. They are probably partially genetic and partiallly formed by external cultural factors
such as a societal norms of appropriate behavior.

 

[hockeyfan228]

My sense was that Pat Lipinski simultaneously didn't differentiate the boundary between herself and her daughter very well and was at a loss with how to deal with such a strong-willed, single-minded child. But maybe that's because I listened to an interview with Brooke Shields today, and recently reread passages from Gelsey Kirkland's first autobiography.

 

[CzarinaAnya]

I just realized something about the one child policy. Since each group pf grandparents were only allowed to have one child, their children, have only one(of course), and the child doesn't get to have any cousins(usually) or aunts and uncles. I love having that privelage. And I can't imagine not having them.

(I saw a sort of documentary about it, and they showed all the little girls that were given to orphanages, (because they didn't end up being boys) "seatbelted" to their potty chairs, just rocking back and forth from boredom, and lack of care.:disapp: I wanted to adopt them all! :frown2: )

 

[Joesitz (RIP)]

I am not remembering wrong. I can recall at that time that most of the media was on Michelle and Michelle winning. Even after Tara won, the media was on Michelle losing. I remember I was a bit pissed with the media at that time. I never said that Tara was upset, I meant that Tara was fed up with it(the media hype).
I think that she proved to herself that she could do and moved on.

OK - I wouldn't look at it that way. I think Patricia was extremely upset with Michelle's silver medal and still retaining the Disney contract.

As I recall Tara who was the reigning World Champion going into the 78 Olys was not an underdog, and she went from World champ to Oly champ. Neat!!
None of the hype Kwan got was paid for by the Kwan camp. The media adored her as much as her multitude of American fans. Tara could not top that; nether could Sarah; and I doubt very much Irina will.

If Kwan is someone you want to see lose more than your favorite to win then this season should be to your liking. However, the Kwaniacs will not switch. So who is the winner?

Joe

 

[Saundy]

On Tara thinking she's an actress...

HAHAHAHAHA! My cat could act better than that girl...I'm sorry...

Tara, you should have stuck to skating.

 

[jesslily]

I don't feel that Tara is a spoiled child. She is the only one, so she did get all her parents' attention. Her family is financially well-off so they could afford her expensive skating lessons. But Tara worked hard and pursued her skating goal all the way. Most spoiled children don't want to do anything seriously. They have bad manner and addict to something not career related...

 

[chuckm]

Tara has always gotten everything she wanted in her life. Yes, she got her Olympic medal because she had the natural talent, drive to succeed, and worked hard for it (even though she destroyed her hip in the process).

Tara now thinks she will become a movie star because she wants it so badly. But like figure skating, to excel in acting takes great talent along with the hard work. Tara has no talent for acting and taking a few speech and acting classes and going to auditions doesn't constitute hard work. The sad fact is that going to classes and casting calls is not the way to learn how to act. You learn how to act by ACTING. All the successful actors I know honed their craft by seeking any acting experience available, including unpaid community theater, summer stock and road show companies.

 

[jesslily]

I agree with Chuckm about Tara's acting career. Just like I posted before, I still feel Tara does not have that talent and look to succeed in the movie business. But on the other hand, pursuing acting career does not mean Tara is a spoiled child. BTW, not all the children without siblings are spoiled. Acturally most of them are very smart and hard working young people. As for families with few kids, there are always that particular ones the parents love the best, and give them the privilage that other kids do not get.