Then The Murders Began.......

[CellarDweller]

Disclaimer, this is not something I came up with on my own, I saw it almost 10 years ago on Twitter, and was just reminded about it, so I thought I would bring it here, maybe we'll get some laughs out of it.

The opening line of a book is extremely important, as it has to be intriguing and powerful enough to capture the reader's imagination. Then, the second line has to intensify the intrigue. Coming up with these lines can be pretty difficult, yet one writer came up with a second line that would almost always heighten the intrigue to its peak, and the Internet is going crazy.

"And then the murders began" - that's the clever line Marc Laidlaw came up with. Add it to almost any opening line and you've got yourself a hell of an intriguing book opening. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to post the opening line of any book, and then add "and then the murders began!" to it . The results can be absolutely hilarious!

See the posts below, and feel free to add your own intriguing openings to the list.

 

[CellarDweller]

The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play, so we sat in the house all that cold, cold wet day. And then the murders began.......

(The Cat In The Hat)

 

[CellarDweller]

"Where's Papa going with that axe?" said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. And then the murders began...."

(Charlotte's Web)

 

[Arigato]

"There is an internal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives. And then the murders began..."

Damage

 

[lileychristie]

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. And then the murders began..."

Pride and Prejudice

 

[stargazer1]

Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began...

(Harry Potter)

 

[stargazer1]

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. And then the murders began...

(Little Women)

 

[stargazer1]

Mr. and Mrs. Brown first met Paddington on a railway platform. And then the murders began...

(Paddington Bear)

 

[lileychristie]

"When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. And then the murders began..."

The Lord of the Rings

 

[stargazer1]

1. It was love at first sight. And then the murders began...
(Catch-22)

2. I'm pretty much f-cked. And then the murders began...
(The Martian)

3. The drought had lasted now for ten million years, and the reign of the terrible lizards had long since ended. And then the murders began...
(2001: A Space Odyssey)

4. A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. And then the murders began...
(A Brief History of Time)

5. In both Short Program and Free Skating whenever possible we should call the elements really performed and not the elements that are required. And then the murders began...
(ISU Technical Panel Handbook)

 

[CellarDweller]

OMG! These are hysterical!!

When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle, everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen.

and then the murders began.....

(The Secret Garden)

 

[Magill]

The artist is the creator of beautiful things.
And then the murders began...
The Picture of Dorian Gray

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. And then the murders began...
One Hundred Years of Solitude

When four classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. And then the murders began...
A Little Life

 

[el henry]

Dear Son: I have ever had pleasure in obtaining any little anecdotes of my ancestors. You may remember the inquiries I made among the remains of my relations when you were with me in England, and the journey I undertook for that purpose.
And then the murders began...

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

 

[stargazer1]

1. The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home. And the the murders began.
(The Wind in the Willows)

2. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.
(1984)

3. When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off by sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere. And then the murders began.
(The Day of the Triffids)

4. This book was born as I was hungry. And then the murders began.
(Life of Pi)

5. The International Skating Union (ISU) is thrilled to announce the return of the ISU Figure Skating Awards its fifth edition,
now with a dazzling brand-new format! And then the murders began.
(ISU Figure Skating Awards 2025)

 

[CellarDweller]

"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. And then the murders began...."

(The Great Gatsby)

“Until he was four years old, James Henry Trotter had had a happy life. And then the murders began....”

(James and the Giant Peach)

 

[skylark]

"Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with Uncle Henry, who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer's wife. And then the murders began."

("The Wonderful Wizard of Oz", by L. Frank Baum)


"Sir Walter Elliot, of Kellynch Hall, in Somersetshire, was a man who, for his own amusement, never took up any book but the Baronetage; there he found occupation for an idle hour, and consolation in a distressed one; there his faculties were roused into admiration and respect by contemplating the limited remnant of the earliest patents; there any unwelcome sensations arising from domestic affairs changed naturally into pity and contempt as he turned over the almost endless creations of the last century; and there, if every other leaf were powerless, he could read his own history with an interest which never failed. And then the murders began."

("Persuasion", by Jane Austen)


"When people think of hypnosis, they think of swinging pendulums, 'You're getting sleepy' and volunteers clucking like chickens on stage shows. And then the murders began."

("The Hypnotist's Love Story", by Liane Moriarty)

 

[TallyT]

Slightly twisted...

"Call me Ishmael. And then the murders will begin."

(Moby Dick, of course)

 

[CellarDweller]

My suffering left me sad and gloomy. And then the murders began.....

(Life of Pi)

 

[TallyT]

It was a dark and stormy night. And then the murders began.
(Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, with the inspiration for the contest for bad opening lines... from Paul Clifford)

 

[CellarDweller]

It was a hot summer day, the kind that makes you feel like you're melting into the pavement. And then the murders began.....

(The Stand)