What are the three worst musical themes in figure skating?

[cocteautwin]

Oh I forgot about "You raise me up". Definitely should be on the list.

 

[noskates]

I read somewhere recently where Coldplay (Chris Martin) wrote Fix You about Gweneth Paltrow. I liked it the first time I heard it and when Adam skated to it but...............let me repeat myself ad nauseum....choreographers are lazy. Thank heavens for people like Rohene Ward and, even though I don't understand or appreciate his music all the time, Benoit Richaud. At least they both look for music new and skateable.

 

[Diana Delafield]

Oh I forgot about "You raise me up". Definitely should be on the list.

...with its phrases swiped from Danny Boy. On my list, too. I once watched in horror while another pair tried to self-choreograph a show program to You Raise Me Up. They stuck so literally to the lyrics it looked as if they were playing charades .

 

[Minz]

Really bad covers. I get that it’s not always possible to use the original, but some covers are just not it.

 

[sarahanne]

Personally, I preferred the no-vocals rule. I find too often the lyrics are too distracting when they're meaningless and/or don't have any connection to the mood of the program. The skater is really just skating to the melody anyway and ignoring the words.

Me too, save vocals for show skating. Hence why I am not a fan of broadway musicals for competitive skating as skaters are trying to portray a character while trying to fit in required elements and footwork that just doesn't make sense with the lyrics or the story. I hated Kaori's "All That Jazz" it didn't fit her style (strong, fast, flowing) as she was trying to interpret a character that just didn't fit her. I am ok with an instrumental version of a song with lyrics as it really should be about feeling and skating to the music.

 

[elektra blue]

I read somewhere recently where Coldplay (Chris Martin) wrote Fix You about Gweneth Paltrow. I liked it the first time I heard it and when Adam skated to it but...............let me repeat myself ad nauseum....choreographers are lazy. Thank heavens for people like Rohene Ward and, even though I don't understand or appreciate his music all the time, Benoit Richaud. At least they both look for music new and skateable.

that explains why she dumped him and started selling vag*na scented candles

 

[Diana Delafield]

Me too, save vocals for show skating. Hence why I am not a fan of broadway musicals for competitive skating as skaters are trying to portray a character while trying to fit in required elements and footwork that just doesn't make sense with the lyrics or the story. I hated Kaori's "All That Jazz" it didn't fit her style (strong, fast, flowing) as she was trying to interpret a character that just didn't fit her. I am ok with an instrumental version of a song with lyrics as it really should be about feeling and skating to the music.

Musicals work as long as you don't try to do a whiz-through telling of the show's plot, which the audience may not know anyway. I've said here before that our favourite freeskate was to the overture to Man of La Mancha. Exactly the right length for senior pairs at the time we used it, and we didn't try to portray Don Quixote and Dulcinea. We just went with the changing mood of the medley -- intense, romantic, grand, etc.

That's hard to do if you're using a show or opera where almost everyone knows the plot so it's obligatory that the skater or one of the pair die at the end. Carmen is the obvious one. We tried Madama Butterfly once (or Miss Saigon for the modern version) and most of the program worked well. But I felt stupid miming suicide at the end, and his knee wobbled supporting me and I nearly rolled off onto the ice. So that one got a drastic makeover.

 

[Diana Delafield]

...with its phrases swiped from Danny Boy. On my list, too. I once watched in horror while another pair tried to self-choreograph a show program to You Raise Me Up. They stuck so literally to the lyrics it looked as if they were playing charades .

Just remembered another song that should NOT be used by pairs: The Wind Beneath My Wings. Besides having soppy lyrics, it really annoys anyone with an engineering background who knows that's aeronautically wrong.

 

[TontoK]

that explain why she dumped him and started selling vag*na scented candles

I just spit coffee all over my keyboard and monitor. I'm dead.

 

[Diana Delafield]

Contribution suggested by The Real Diana D to the list of "songs whose lyrics the skater has not actually listened to": Bohemian Rhapsody. "There can't be that many skaters running around putting guns to people's heads, surely?" she says.

My SIL watches more competitions than I do and says that song deserves a double banning. It's been so often used in the last few years it's on the verge of attaining warhorse status.

 

[TallyT]

Just remembered another song that should NOT be used by pairs: The Wind Beneath My Wings. Besides having soppy lyrics, it really annoys anyone with an engineering background who knows that's aeronautically wrong.

Also, it is sooooooo overdone to [cough} death at funerals. I have threatened to come back and haunt my relatives if they even think of playing it.

 

[CanadianSkaterGuy]

Tend to hate the repetitive warhorses, see Masquerade Waltz, Bolero, Romeo and Juliet (the Prokofiev version), etc.

I always wonder how skaters practice those when every other stanza sounds the same as the one before it.

 

[elektra blue]

I just spit coffee all over my keyboard and monitor. I'm dead.

you're welcome

 

[viennaskater]

Contribution suggested by The Real Diana D to the list of "songs whose lyrics the skater has not actually listened to": Bohemian Rhapsody. "There can't be that many skaters running around putting guns to people's heads, surely?" she says.

My SIL watches more competitions than I do and says that song deserves a double banning. It's been so often used in the last few years it's on the verge of attaining warhorse status.

Somehow, Bo Rhap on ice works for me. This still remains one of my best memories of the 2017 Nebelhorn Olympic qualifier (and yes, Lee June-hyoung DID qualify):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeq5hcjucWI

 

[viennaskater]

Whatever the heck that song is about keeping the light on. Turn it off already

I love that song - Tom Walker.

 

[viennaskater]

I was about to type the exact same thing. Now I just mute the stream when I hear it. To me it is really terrible music, even if I can appreciate skaters who choose it. Even Ravel (the composer) hated bolero, he designed it as a piece for a band warm up. It was never intended to be a great work of art. Of course I appreciate the build in instruments. But the stagnant, boring rhythm drives me crazy. The lack of any substance beyond the repetitive, dull, melody.

I love torvill and dean, but I actually liked all their other programs better than Bolero. Of course their skating with Bolero was phenomenal, but the music did nothing for me. Slowly, Bolero has gone from doing nothing for me, to making my ears bleed. And I feel I cannot escape this music, no matter how hard I try.

At night, I lie awake, haunted by which skaters will choose bolero. Nothing, no matter how bad or cringe a theme is, or how objectively terrible somebody's skating is, it will ever be worse for me than having to hear the torture 'musiconified' in Bolero.

I sometimes listen to Classic FM Radio (UK) and I can't stand it when they put Bolero on. I have to turn it off and it feels like I wait forever until I feel it's safe to switch back on again. What irks me even more is the thought that whoever is broadcasting goes off in the meantime to have a coffee, a smoke and possibly even a small snack, thinking 'Great, I've got LOADS of time for a break while that's on!')

 

[dearskate]

I LOVE all Phantom of the Opera programmes because I love the music, unless someone doesn't skate to it at all that is.

 

[Mathman]

I think that there are reasons why warhorses are warhorses. Some music just seems appropriate to the needs of figure skating, while other music doesn't, especially.

Swan Lake (in common with ballets in general) was composed with the specific intent of providing a musical setting for graceful movements of the body. There are even musical cues that suggest and support specific elements. especially in dance and pairs.

Carmen provides a ready-made fully formed character to portray. It makes the choreographer's job easier -- and also the costume designer's (Tessa Virtue in black notwithstanding. )

 

[Mathman]

Just remembered another song that should NOT be used by pairs: The Wind Beneath My Wings. Besides having soppy lyrics, it really annoys anyone with an engineering background who knows that's aeronautically wrong.

I know, I know! Doesn't it just burn your cookies when angels are depicted in art who couldn't get off the ground in a million years?

It would be better if the song were, "You are the wind beneath my kite."

 

[el henry]

Well, Wind Beneath My Wings was my (our) wedding song.

Sorry