What are the three worst musical themes in figure skating?

[Marty McFlip]

Bollero...

Always the same melody, no excitation, not fitting well to figure skating. It's the only music who makes "Caruso" a fun and exciting program

 

[msteach3]

There is alway an exception.

Stephane Lambiel William Tell.

I adore Stephane, but that was one program I didn't care for at all because of the music. I think I muted it after hearing it once!

 

[TallyT]

One of my sisters sent me this video and it made me think, they could tell everyone who does a warhorse they need to do it in a different style! (just kidding... but you have to admit it's a fun notion)

 

[Mathman]

Liszt! Liszt! Do it in the style of Liszt!

That was great. Maybe @4everchan can comment, but my understanding is that this kind of thing is a standard exercise in advanced composition classes?

 

[FSFan1999]

Bolero
Bolero
Bolero

I was about to type the exact same thing. Now I just mute the stream when I hear it. To me it is really terrible music, even if I can appreciate skaters who choose it. Even Ravel (the composer) hated bolero, he designed it as a piece for a band warm up. It was never intended to be a great work of art. Of course I appreciate the build in instruments. But the stagnant, boring rhythm drives me crazy. The lack of any substance beyond the repetitive, dull, melody.

I love torvill and dean, but I actually liked all their other programs better than Bolero. Of course their skating with Bolero was phenomenal, but the music did nothing for me. Slowly, Bolero has gone from doing nothing for me, to making my ears bleed. And I feel I cannot escape this music, no matter how hard I try.

At night, I lie awake, haunted by which skaters will choose bolero. Nothing, no matter how bad or cringe a theme is, or how objectively terrible somebody's skating is, it will ever be worse for me than having to hear the torture 'musiconified' in Bolero.

 

[rabidline]

Bolero
Bolero
Bolero

No but like... even pro skaters are doing Bolero out of competition, like there are no other Ravel pieces they can do instead...

 

[viennaskater]

My pet hates:

1. Moulin Rouge
2. Carmen (no question!)
3. Any piece with loud distracting French lyrics, particularly Edith Piaf. It puts me off completely.
4. Similarly, ANY loud lyrics (Christina Aguilera springs to mind).
5. Exogenesis by Muse (SO over-used, if I never hear it again I'll be happy, although I love all their other songs).
6. Back in the day, I got so fed up hearing 'La Strada' by Nino Rota. Skaters don't seem to use it any more, thank goodness.

But I admit to loving anything by Woodkid. If it hadn't been for ice-skating, I would never have heard of him! (And I've seen him perform live!)

 

[Karoltyna]

I was about to type the exact same thing. Now I just mute the stream when I hear it. To me it is really terrible music, even if I can appreciate skaters who choose it. Even Ravel (the composer) hated bolero, he designed it as a piece for a band warm up. It was never intended to be a great work of art. Of course I appreciate the build in instruments. But the stagnant, boring rhythm drives me crazy. The lack of any substance beyond the repetitive, dull, melody.

I love torvill and dean, but I actually liked all their other programs better than Bolero. Of course their skating with Bolero was phenomenal, but the music did nothing for me. Slowly, Bolero has gone from doing nothing for me, to making my ears bleed. And I feel I cannot escape this music, no matter how hard I try.

At night, I lie awake, haunted by which skaters will choose bolero. Nothing, no matter how bad or cringe a theme is, or how objectively terrible somebody's skating is, it will ever be worse for me than having to hear the torture 'musiconified' in Bolero.

Oh, finally I found someone who isn't T/D Bolero worshiper. I found it bland, just like I find programs of Geynish/Chigirev bland and boring.

 

[Minz]

The cover of "Money, Money, Money" that Gubanova skated to this season (I suppose the theme here would just be bad covers of songs).

 

[Mathman]

Nobody likes Bolero except the people.

 

[4everchan]

Liszt! Liszt! Do it in the style of Liszt!

That was great. Maybe @4everchan can comment, but my understanding is that this kind of thing is a standard exercise in advanced composition classes?

it's a party trick... we would hang out sometimes around a piano and play songs like this... however, we used to specialize in video game music.
Pastiches are indeed studied in composition classes... but people wouldn't necessarily play their arrangements or make them nice... this guy went further. He is pretty good.

BTW... these are all covers so coming from someone who doesn't like covers LOL

 

[Marty McFlip]

Nobody likes Bolero except the people.

I cannot suport it. I'm almost sure this song was created by the CIA at Guentanamo to interviews prisonners

 

[Karoltyna]

I'm almost sure this song was created by the CIA at Guentanamo to interviews prisonners

sound version of chinese water torture...

 

[Mathman]

There actually was a court case in the U.S. a couple of years ago where a police department was charged with torturing jail inmates by playing "Baby Shark" over and over.

 

[FSFan1999]

There actually was a court case in the U.S. a couple of years ago where a police department was charged with torturing jail inmates by playing "Baby Shark" over and over.

The inmates have my sympathy, but it could have been worse... at least they didn't play Bolero over and over...

 

[dorispulaski]

There were teens convicted of violating noise offenses who had to listen to Barney songs.

https://www.npr.org/2008/11/25/97481363/judge-uses-barney-as-punishment-for-noise

They also were used as torture in Guantanomo, along with other songs.

Five Songs Used for Torture and Intimidation

Barry Manilow and Barney the Dinosaur are among the artists used to terrify everyone from America's enemies to pesky teens

entertainment.time.com

 

[Mathman]

^ Oh no, not Barry Manilow, anything except that! I'll talk, I'll talk!

 

[Marty McFlip]

The inmates have my sympathy, but it could have been worse... at least they didn't play Bolero over and over...

Using Bolero to torturing people is not allowed by Geneva convention

 

[TontoK]

I love a good Carmen or Swan Lake, they are just overused.

What I watch only with much grumbling:

Charlie Chaplin

Elvis

No matter how well done

I'll see your Charlie Chaplin, and raise you a Sherlock Holmes. Gawd, I hate the predictable pantomime in those that inexplicably passes for choreography.

I'm a little tired of Elvis, too.

Edit: Kolyada announced he was doing a competitive Chaplin program, and I felt personally offended. I'm all about skaters stretching out of their comfort zone, but I'd have preferred he skated to an ambulance siren.

The only good thing that came out of covid was that program never saw the light of day.

 

[Mathman]

I'd have preferred he skated to an ambulance siren.

I believe that would be Evgenia Medvedeva.