I think where we sometimes go wrong is by confusing facial expression with musicality. Maybe we need to recognize that it's possible to emote with the body as well as the face. What a skater's feeling, emotionally, may have a more subtle expression on the face and still move me because of their overall expression, but no amount of facial contortion can move me if the skater is not interpreting the music with his/her body.
Since you mention Jeremy , let's just take him as an example .( Though there are many others) He feels the music with his whole body..and not just each beat , but every 1/2 and 1/4 beat in between, so that his movements fill all of the music, and if he moves into half time, or double time, or some little syncopation, he can always come smoothly and perfectly back into time. All of the music is used. Watching him, we experience the music fully through his movements.
Some skaters have this ability naturally , some might have gained it through some form of dance training ( or Gymnastics , or whatever).. it can be taught , to a degree. Those who are naturally gifted will probably always be better , but anyone can improve. I'm just talking about being one with the music here, apart from position, line etc.
E.G. In adult recreational dance classes , you can often see results immediately, when students learn to use that.. "AND"..before the beat..breathe in on the AND, begin...if they're jumpimg , knee bend on the AND, spring..arm movements, slight lift of the arm or reverse motion AND,begin..Eventually many will be using it on their own without being reminded, and their overall musicality improves.
The "It" factor can add an extra dimension...but it just annoys me when it's all used in the promotion of the skater and the program becomes incidental. Plushenko is the major offender here. Amazing athlete..programs bore me to tears. It all looks the same and they're all about " I'm #1..I can moonwalk..I can stand still and wiggle my pelvis."..what a waste of a phenomenal talent.
I pretty much agree with you on all these points, and you stated them eloquently. I especially agree that musicality comes from the whole body, not just the face making "expressions." I love when a skater is able to use the rhythm of the music and make it come alive the way you describe Jeremy doing. I'm going to check his routines on YouTube and look much more carefully for what you pointed out. Of course, another great master of this is Kurt Browning. I still remember that wonderful pro routine he did to songs of Nat King Cole. It was as if the music was coming right out of Browning instead of a tape machine.