Crazy Future Predictions

[theskatingbutterfly]

Ashley Wagner does not tour over the summer. She stays home and shows up at Skate America with HUGE jumps (including perfectly clean 3A and 4S) and the best skating skills and edge work ever known to man. The judges reward her, and she becomes the first skater to ever max out on PCS (she gets 80) and scores 170 for the free.

Gracie Gold, shaken by her 4th place finish at Worlds, travels during the summer and no one hears from her until Skate Canada. She shows up with jumps the same size as Miyahara, and can't even remember what a counter is. Her step sequence receives a level B and almost all of her jumps are called underrotated. She gets 6's across the bored and comes in 11th.

Skating fans are blind to the changes in the skaters (as usual) and outcry saying Ashley is receiving "Worlds medalist boost" and Gracie is being undermarked. Tara makes a remark after SC saying "Gracie Gold is the best the USA has". A couple days later GS breaks after it's revealed that Tara has not watched one event since she retired and the Tara and Johnny on tv were robots programmed to say what USFSA wanted. NBC invites all of the icenetwork commentators to be NBC commentators, except for Tonia. Instead they ask Sasha and Michelle, drama happens, skating instantly becomes the most watched sport ever and figure skaters become the richest athletes in history.

USA ladies sweep the 2018 Olympics podium with Ashley, Mirai and one other girl who qualified through Regionals and Sectionals.

TSL completely changes their views on practice, saying skaters who do full run thru's are not practicing right and it will never help them. They praise skaters who skips spins or mark jumps and announce "That's how you get ready for competition. You have to save your energy for the actual performance."

(Sorry this is super Ashley biased but I thought this would be funny anyway)

 

[Sam-Skwantch]

So you're saying I'm not going to be the only person anymore with a level B StSeq :yay:

 

[theskatingbutterfly]

So you're saying I'm not going to be the only person anymore with a level B StSeq :yay:

Lol, you're not, because I competed this weekend and got level B in both short and long. Oops

 

[4everchan]

1) winnie the pooh becomes an endangered animal and is banned from the rink
2) Kevin Reynolds becomes the first man landing a 4Loop at NHK and Yuzu gets MAD and destroys the KnC
3)murakami wins japanese nationals landing his 4F. Yuzu who had landed his 4Lo gets MAD and destroys the KnC.
4) Denis Ten changes his name for Denis Eleven
5) another american male figure skater comes out of the closet which makes Adam Rippon very angry as he is no longer the only gay in the village
6)everyone on GS agrees that Patrick Chan deserves all the PCS he gets as he is truly above everyone else. Chan bashers ask for forgiveness.
7)Joannie Rochette gets out of retirement, as anyways, it's a big Canadian thing to do after Patrick and Tessa and Scott
8) Nam retires early and opens a noodle restaurant called Mr Spicy.
9) Oksana Baiul launches her line of Vodka called : DUI by Oksana
10) Men are allowed back to wear ballet tights... Max Aaron and Karne are pleased.

 

[EdgeCall]

Ashley Wagner does not tour over the summer. She stays home and shows up at Skate America with HUGE jumps (including perfectly clean 3A and 4S) and the best skating skills and edge work ever known to man. The judges reward her, and she becomes the first skater to ever max out on PCS (she gets 80) and scores 170 for the free.

Gracie Gold, shaken by her 4th place finish at Worlds, travels during the summer and no one hears from her until Skate Canada. She shows up with jumps the same size as Miyahara, and can't even remember what a counter is. Her step sequence receives a level B and almost all of her jumps are called underrotated. She gets 6's across the bored and comes in 11th.

Skating fans are blind to the changes in the skaters (as usual) and outcry saying Ashley is receiving "Worlds medalist boost" and Gracie is being undermarked. Tara makes a remark after SC saying "Gracie Gold is the best the USA has". A couple days later GS breaks after it's revealed that Tara has not watched one event since she retired and the Tara and Johnny on tv were robots programmed to say what USFSA wanted. NBC invites all of the icenetwork commentators to be NBC commentators, except for Tonia. Instead they ask Sasha and Michelle, drama happens, skating instantly becomes the most watched sport ever and figure skaters become the richest athletes in history.

USA ladies sweep the 2018 Olympics podium with Ashley, Mirai and one other girl who qualified through Regionals and Sectionals.

TSL completely changes their views on practice, saying skaters who do full run thru's are not practicing right and it will never help them. They praise skaters who skips spins or mark jumps and announce "That's how you get ready for competition. You have to save your energy for the actual performance."

(Sorry this is super Ashley biased but I thought this would be funny anyway)

Ashley, is that you?

 

[lyverbird1]

After a season of musical indiversity, the powers that be decide to change the rules in the ladies event drastically and create a compulsory programme section in the ladies' division instead of the short programme.

All ladies are now required to skate the same programme to either "I Put A Spell On You" or "Feelin' Good" and all set to a new rhythm called the "Michael Buble".

Nobody notices any difference.

 

[Pika]

I want to give a medal to 4everchan for the hilarious predictions, the best in my opinion...
Thank you every body for making me laugh so hard!

 

[karne]

So you're saying I'm not going to be the only person anymore with a level B StSeq :yay:

Lol, you're not, because I competed this weekend and got level B in both short and long. Oops

Better StSqB than StSq !

At least you're at that point. *tools around doing ChSq1*

10) Men are allowed back to wear ballet tights... Max Aaron and Karne are pleased.

You say that like Max doesn't wear tights already

 

[4everchan]

I want to give a medal to 4everchan for the hilarious predictions, the best in my opinion...
Thank you every body for making me laugh so hard!

Thank you! The intention was to make people laugh at the ridiculousness of it all

You say that like Max doesn't wear tights already

in competition ? like the type that Russians were wearing

 

[cheerknithanson]

Ah....I got another crazy prediction.

Kevin Reynolds lands a clean 4T-3T-3Lo in the 2nd half and get the highest scoring element ever. The world cries in outrage. The debate starts again. The forum collapses.

 

[4everchan]

Ah....I got another crazy prediction.

Kevin Reynolds lands a clean 4T-3T-3Lo in the 2nd half and get the highest scoring element ever. The world cries in outrage. The debate starts again. The forum collapses.

the first part of this prediction is GOING TO HAPPEN!!!! the last 3 sentences HAHAHAHA

 

[cheerknithanson]

the first part of this prediction is GOING TO HAPPEN!!!! the last 3 sentences HAHAHAHA

Well, considering he's not one who has the best artistry (And as a HUGE fan of Kevin, I have to agree he doesn't have the best artistry. But it's improving), there's going to be debate.

And the prediction comes after from yesterday when he attempted that jump combo at the Gardena Spring Trophy. The quad was fully rotated, the 3T UR, and the 3Lo downgraded....but it still got 12.61 points.....Like and it's only been a YEAR since he had hip surgery. He definitely wants to show he's not done yet.

 

[Skatergal101]

I hope osmond comes back stronger than ever!!!

 

[badknees]

I want to see Ashley and Eddy Alvarez team up. It could be a different kind of pairs with speed skating involved!

 

[temadd]

Ashley Wagner does not tour over the summer. She stays home and shows up at Skate America with HUGE jumps (including perfectly clean 3A and 4S) and the best skating skills and edge work ever known to man. The judges reward her, and she becomes the first skater to ever max out on PCS (she gets 80) and scores 170 for the free.

Gracie Gold, shaken by her 4th place finish at Worlds, travels during the summer and no one hears from her until Skate Canada. She shows up with jumps the same size as Miyahara, and can't even remember what a counter is. Her step sequence receives a level B and almost all of her jumps are called underrotated. She gets 6's across the bored and comes in 11th.

Skating fans are blind to the changes in the skaters (as usual) and outcry saying Ashley is receiving "Worlds medalist boost" and Gracie is being undermarked. Tara makes a remark after SC saying "Gracie Gold is the best the USA has". A couple days later GS breaks after it's revealed that Tara has not watched one event since she retired and the Tara and Johnny on tv were robots programmed to say what USFSA wanted. NBC invites all of the icenetwork commentators to be NBC commentators, except for Tonia. Instead they ask Sasha and Michelle, drama happens, skating instantly becomes the most watched sport ever and figure skaters become the richest athletes in history.

USA ladies sweep the 2018 Olympics podium with Ashley, Mirai and one other girl who qualified through Regionals and Sectionals.

TSL completely changes their views on practice, saying skaters who do full run thru's are not practicing right and it will never help them. They praise skaters who skips spins or mark jumps and announce "That's how you get ready for competition. You have to save your energy for the actual performance."

(Sorry this is super Ashley biased but I thought this would be funny anyway)

Thank you!!! Especially love the Tara and Johhny robots, no Tonia K and TSL eating their words.

 

[Alexz]

Here's my prediction. I get a call from Russia, and it's Plushy. He's tells me that I'm his only hope for making a successful and final bid for a second OGM. I accept and immediately call Nikolai Morozov. He tells me that I must be crazy and reminds me that he is Alexei Yagudin's Choreographer. I of course, don't take no for an answer, bat my eyes, and we become a successful team( You know what I mean ) . We choreograph the perfect program and Plushy wins his coveted second OGM.

I forgot to add one last thing. I am picked from the Airport by Maria Butyrskaya, who recognizes me from our moment when she kissed me in 1999. This trip becomes my favorite of all time when dreamy Anton Sikharulidze joins our team.

Oh, wow. This is indeed a quite likely scenario. I'm almost absolutely sure about Plushy coming back (..again) for 2018. However, I feel like Yagudin would make a decision to return into competing just a month before Olympics and he for the sake of a joke he would win a gold, leaving Plushy a silver. Not that I don't want Plushy to get his gold... But it is all for us to have more buckets of to read all those endless articles and interviews of Plushy afterwards on this forum.

Butirskaya would have no problem to pick you up from SVO airport, her husband (a pro hockey player) would help you with your bags as well.

 

[Alexz]

Ashley, is that you?

My thoughts exactly.

 

[theskatingbutterfly]

My thoughts exactly.

Lol, I'm not Ashley, but people at my rink call me Ashley or Wagner because I look up to her so much

 

[Ares]

Adelina Sotnikova makes decision to switch to Ice Dancing with Nikolai Morozov as her partner (lol).
Boyang Jin lands 4-4 combo.
Gracie Gold lands quad toe loop.
Javier Fernandez beats WR of Hanyu in SP.
James / Cipres to win Gold in European Championships.

 

[Skater Boy]

Sui/Han, afraid of being broken up to get a better partner for Hao Zhang, flee the country and skate for South Korea. With Young Yoo, So-Youn Park, Lee/Kam and Junhwan Cha, they win a medal at the Olympic team event.

Someone really likes Korea LOL