Crazy Future Predictions

[mrrice]

OK People, as my Plushy obsession continues. I had another dream about a song I used to sing in our "80's" Medley when I was touring. It's called "Living Inside Myself" By Gino Vanneli Give it a listen and see what you think. Maybe good for Jeremy Abbott should he decide to return. This song is definitely for an older skater who's on the edge of retiring.

Living Inside Myself By Gino "The Babe" Vannelli:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6-ecGlJw6w

 

[mrrice]

Oh, wow. This is indeed a quite likely scenario. I'm almost absolutely sure about Plushy coming back (..again) for 2018. However, I feel like Yagudin would make a decision to return into competing just a month before Olympics and he for the sake of a joke he would win a gold, leaving Plushy a silver. Not that I don't want Plushy to get his gold... But it is all for us to have more buckets of to read all those endless articles and interviews of Plushy afterwards on this forum.

Butirskaya would have no problem to pick you up from SVO airport, her husband (a pro hockey player) would help you with your bags as well.

Oh Alexz,..........Every time I hear about Maria having a Husband, it almost kills me. Thank Gawd I'm gay or it would really suck!

 

[chasingpolaris]

Miki Ando comes out of retirement and finally does a ratified 4S after Orser becomes her coach too.

While Miki wins all the comps, Javi will focus on coaching Miki’s daughter to become a future Olympic champ with octuple jumps.

Mao forgoes the 3A and starts doing quads in her programs AND STILL gets URs.

A mute option becomes available on your screen when Tara and Johnny start “commentating”. In fact, a mute option will be available for anyone who just wants to silently appreciate beautiful skating.

Shoma finally realizes that he has to start having exhibition programs because he will actually win things frequently. This is after, of course, Daisuke Takahashi starts choreographing exhibition programs for him.

Under Yuzuru’s influence, Winnie the Pooh is successfully hired as Team Japan’s official mascot. Chances are, the Winnie mascot you will see prancing around KnC is actually Nobunari Oda. Of course he gets to do his job as a commentator in that costume. He might skate with it occasionally.

ShibSibs win Olympic gold and everyone in the audience becomes extras in their movie so there’s no need to recreate the scene.

 

[mrrice]

Lol, I'm not Ashley, but people at my rink call me Ashley or Wagner because I look up to her so much

I LOVE this comment. I guess everyone has a twin and it's kind of fun if your twin is famous. My twin is............Darius Rucker, the former lead singer of Hootie And The Blowfish. To this day, my friends call me Hootie. As a former singer, I take it as a huge compliment, even though our styles are nothing alike.

 

[Sorrento]

1) Starting with season 2016-2017 all sports channels do mandatory live and complete coverage of every figure skating event. Commentators get dropped. Instead ISU figure skating channel does live and complete coverage to all events with an option of commentator voiceover: each viewer can choose whoever he or she wants to listen, because they talk nonstop and it is impossible to hear the music and crowd reaction. This option allows those who hate the music to enjoy this sport based on visual attraction and cheesy gossip only.
2) Starting with season 2016-2017 the new TV post Figure Skating TV is launched successfully all around the world. It is free. Commentators are not allowed to talk during skating. Instead- they blab the entire repeated elements time and instead of commercials. This TV channel covers every figure skating event, including novices, adult skating, etc etc and every figure skating show 24/7. FS fans don't sleep anymore. Nobody cares.
3) New figure skating field is introduced right before the Olympics: Pure Jumping. Boyang drops Men's field and becomes first, second, third and on and on World Champion in the field until he drops it at the age of 45 to get married. In 10 years his twin sons rule the field under Boyang's coaching for another 40 years. They jump 5Lz, 6A and 7T.

 

[Layback11]

Miki Ando comes out of retirement and finally does a ratified 4S after Orser becomes her coach too.

While Miki wins all the comps, Javi will focus on coaching Miki’s daughter to become a future Olympic champ with octuple jumps.

Mao forgoes the 3A and starts doing quads in her programs AND STILL gets URs.

A mute option becomes available on your screen when Tara and Johnny start “commentating”. In fact, a mute option will be available for anyone who just wants to silently appreciate beautiful skating.

Shoma finally realizes that he has to start having exhibition programs because he will actually win things frequently. This is after, of course, Daisuke Takahashi starts choreographing exhibition programs for him.

Under Yuzuru’s influence, Winnie the Pooh is successfully hired as Team Japan’s official mascot. Chances are, the Winnie mascot you will see prancing around KnC is actually Nobunari Oda. Of course he gets to do his job as a commentator in that costume. He might skate with it occasionally.

ShibSibs win Olympic gold and everyone in the audience becomes extras in their movie so there’s no need to recreate the scene.

YES to all of these! especially the Shibs one.

Adding on to that: someone on team USA bets Alex he can't logically fit a car chase anywhere in "ShibSibs: the Movie", so he creates a fictional mystery subplot in which Polina gets kidnapped in the Olympic village and her teammates have to go after the abductor in a golf cart. When he wins the bet, he uses the money he wins to hire an attractive skier he met at the Olympics to play his love interest.

 

[Sorrento]

At 2016 GPF all 6 skaters in Men's field reach maximum PCS with the exactly same content. In order to identify the actual winners ISU allows a series on penalty jumps. Guess who wins the competition?

 

[LRK]

At 2016 GPF all 6 skaters in Men's field reach maximum PCS with the exactly same content. In order to identify the actual winners ISU allows a series on penalty jumps. Guess who wins the competition?

Penalty jump off - I like.

(And I don't even like penalty shoot outs - always makes me terribly nervous, even when I don't have any preference in who wins the match! If I do care, I'm a shivering wreck, of course... )

 

[Layback11]

Ted Barton becomes head commentator on NBC.

The Barcelona GPF announcer announces skaters at the 2018 Olympics.

Satoko Miyahara skips most of the 2017-18 season and comes back at Japanese Nationals with Yuna Kim-like jumps. She goes on to win the aforementioned Olympics. The forums blow up and eventually crash. She gives partial credit to the announcer for inspiring her to put out clean skates.

 

[Violet Bliss]

A multi-billionaire establishes a foundation with $1B to give out as figure skating prize money, which will be $1M for the winner of each GP event, $2M for each winner of the GPF, the Euro and the 4CC, and $5M for the World Champion each season. An OGM in a figure skating event will be awarded a cool $10M. The other competitors will receive prorated increased prizes. With the new popularity of the sport, ISU, flushed with new incomes, adds to the prizes and promotion of the sport. Figure skating stars, flushed with prize and endorsement money, establish or contribute to institutions for figure skating education, among their benevolent endeavours as role models.

Figure skating sores to be an ultra cool and popular sport.

 

[Sorrento]

A multi-billionaire establishes a foundation with $1B to give out as figure skating prize money, which will be $1M for the winner of each GP event, $2M for each winner of the GPF, the Euro and the 4CC, and $5M for the World Champion each season. An OGM in a figure skating event will be awarded a cool $10M. The other competitors will receive prorated increased prizes. With the new popularity of the sport, ISU, flushed with new incomes, adds to the prizes and promotion of the sport. Figure skating stars, flushed with prize and endorsement money, establish or contribute to institutions for figure skating education, among their benevolent endeavours as role models.

Figure skating sores to be an ultra cool and popular sport.

I'd like to add an option: Federations can pay for an athlete to represent their country. Transfers paychecks list horrendous money. Football players drop their sport and switch to figure skating.

 

[Sorrento]

By the year of 2017 figure skating artistic choreography becomes the main aspect of competitive programs. Thus top skaters adress to big blockbuster directors to produce their programs.
Boyang Jin skates to Transformers OST, his program lists several costume changes, special effects and is produced by Michael Bay.
Patrick Chan skates to the OST of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, his choreo is produced by Milosh Forman and Jack Nicholson. The intiricate footwork makes his fans crazier than ever before.
Javier Fernandez is skating to The Godfather produced by, well, obviously..., people throw their wallets on the rink willingly. He becomes instant billionaire.
Yuzuru Hanyu wins the competition by skating to The Revenant OST, his choreo is produced by both Alejandro Inarritu and Leonardo Di Caprio. The role of the mad bear is played by Winnie the Pooh. Kleenex is sold out everywhere.

 

[petitebrie]

At the 2018 Olympics the American skaters are caught with NASA-made electric engines in their boots, after widespread suspicion when Gracie Gold starts consistently landing quad Axels in practice (and, tbh, gets an endorsement deal and tells Taylor Swift who tweets it). The Russians, being an industrious people with no patience for unnecessarily complicated and expensive contraptions, are instead revealed with springs mounted between the blades and boots. Having been developed by Anna Pogorilaya who recently completed her degree in mechanical engineering at the MSU, they are trademarked "Anna Pogo-Sticks". The ISU are at a loss, as no one would watch figure skating if the Americans and Russians were banned from competition and the feds withdrew their support. However, the Japanese fed is thrilled, until they too are caught using remote controlled robotic skates that play a tinny melody when you skate, have several different jump and spin settings, an AI personal assistent and a small jet of water for instant ice resurfacing. So Youn Park wins the gold medal with a home field PCS boost (despite three falls), Maé Bérénice Méité captures the silver (despite a 3A and two 3-3 combos in the second half), and yours truly sees her dream podium shattered when Shoma in a wig beats Zijun for the bronze.

 

[Violet Bliss]

At the 2018 Olympics the American skaters are caught with NASA-made electric engines in their boots, after widespread suspicion when Gracie Gold starts consistently landing quad Axels in practice (and, tbh, gets an endorsement deal and tells Taylor Swift who tweets it). The Russians, being an industrious people with no patience for unnecessarily complicated and expensive contraptions, are instead revealed with springs mounted between the blades and boots. Having been developed by Anna Pogorilaya who recently completed her degree in mechanical engineering at the MSU, they are trademarked "Anna Pogo-Sticks". The ISU are at a loss, as no one would watch figure skating if the Americans and Russians were banned from competition and the feds withdrew their support. However, the Japanese fed is thrilled, until they too are caught using remote controlled robotic skates that play a tinny melody when you skate, have several different jump and spin settings, an AI personal assistent and a small jet of water for instant ice resurfacing. So Youn Park wins the gold medal with a home field PCS boost (despite three falls), Maé Bérénice Méité captures the silver (despite a 3A and two 3-3 combos in the second half), and yours truly sees her dream podium shattered when Shoma in a wig beats Zijun for the bronze.

 

[Alexz]

Oh Alexz,..........Every time I hear about Maria having a Husband, it almost kills me. Thank Gawd I'm gay or it would really suck!

He is one good looking fella (for a hockey player).

 

[Skater Boy]

Okay crazy predictions (didn't say they had to be genuine).

10. Maria Butyrskaya leaves her hockey player husband for mrrice. They get married and fight over who gets to wear Vera Wang.

9. Plushy doesn't come out of retirement to skate competitively again.

8. Gracie and Carly Gold end up in a cat fight on ice. They duke it out in a flying camel war (ala Dube and Davison) but accidentally cut off Jason Brown's ponytail.

7. There is a world shortage on sequins and Johnny Weir is charged with theft as he panics ad starts stealing all the glittering beads he can find.

6. Denis Ten and Yuruzu Hanyu decide to take their differences out on the ice by fighting. Feathers, bugle beads and sequins are flying all over the place. Johnny Weir is seen picking up all the loss pieces.

5. Patrick Chan haters realize he does have some redeeming qualities; world peace is declared.

4. Kavaguti comes back as the six billion dollar woman with body parts that keep on ticking while taking a licking

3. Adam Rippon and Ashley Wagner get married. Ashley carries Adam over the threshold.

2. Brian Orser tries to comfort Nam who is struggling with his growth spurt by giving him Hanyu's Winnie the Pooh. Javier tries to steal Pooh back. Tonya Harding is contacted. Pooh ends up beheaded. Hanyu and Nam cry.

1. Everyone on Golden Skate Forums gets along and there is world peace where there is enough points, sequins, feathers and spandex for all!!!

 

[mrrice]

^^^^Skater Boy.............. That comment made my day. In fact, it made my week!!!!!

 

[cheerknithanson]

Ted Barton becomes head commentator on NBC.

The Barcelona GPF announcer announces skaters at the 2018 Olympics.

Satoko Miyahara skips most of the 2017-18 season and comes back at Japanese Nationals with Yuna Kim-like jumps. She goes on to win the aforementioned Olympics. The forums blow up and eventually crash. She gives partial credit to the announcer for inspiring her to put out clean skates.

YES YESSSSSSS to the first 2!

 

[noskates]

First time I've laughed out loud all day. Can I be invited to wedding mrrice?

 

[Skater Boy]

^^^^Skater Boy.............. That comment made my day. In fact, it made my week!!!!!

you rock - I thought I was the only one who liked Maria's skating. Though I preferred her with long hair On a side note you do know that Vera Wang has some very cool tuxes right???