Coach suspended - abuse allegations

[Spirals for Miles]

This. I’d also note that flashing your genitals at someone is also a chargeable criminal offense, though not necessarily a felony.

Moreover, age of consent is only relevant in terms of charges pertaining to child sex abuse charges or statutory rape charges. Some states also note that certain relationships are inherently unequal and so all sexual activity that exists within them is rape by definition (for example, a prisoner and a prison guard).

And on a final technical note, pedophilia refers to a primary sexual interest in the pre-pubescent body; ephebophilia is a primary sexual interest in the post-pubescent teenage body, and the latter seems to be the relevant term.

AFAIK, age of consent is also relevant in determining battery vs. assault charges

Not like any of this should be happening in the first place, but...

 

[ManyCairns]

I remember wondering about Kimmie Meissner going to Callaghan after things started going off the rails for her. Wasn't that after the allegations initially came to light, or not long before? Anyway I remember her talking about training with Todd's assistance when she joined the Callaghan team, and I think it was sometime around the first set of public accusations against Callaghan.

 

[CaroLiza_fan]

I just wanted to say that, after reading through this thread, I am sorry to hear that some members of this forum have personal experience of being assaulted.

My thoughts go out to you.

CaroLiza_fan

 

[Jaana]

I have to say that I find the whole Mauritzi/Gallaghan story really odd. How come he stayed with Gallaghan for twenty years and after becoming adult had worked as a co-coach with him and they were friends, and two years after their relationship ended he finally got it that he had been sexually abused in his youth? I suppose after that Mauritzi started to coach on his own in that point and Gallaghan was a kind of rival? Or maybe I just did not get the story right:

http://www.nytimes.com/1999/04/11/s...ng-coach-is-accused-of-sexual-misconduct.html

 

[aname]

I have to say that I find the whole Mauritzi/Gallaghan story really odd. How come he stayed with Gallaghan for twenty years and after becoming adult had worked as a co-coach with him and they were friends, and two years after their relationship ended he finally got it that he had been sexually abused in his youth? I suppose after that Mauritzi started to coach on his own in that point and Gallaghan was a kind of rival? Or maybe I just did not get the story right:

http://www.nytimes.com/1999/04/11/s...ng-coach-is-accused-of-sexual-misconduct.html

It sounds like you're not very familiar with the concept of grooming. I'm not the best or most knowledgeable person to explain these things but a quick google search gave me a couple of articles that you might find informative (click here and here) and that might help you to avoid the victim blaming territory.

I think somebody else already suggested googling "Stockholm syndrome" and reading some of the victim impact statements in the Nassar case.

Basically... It often happens that while the abuse and manipulation is happening, especially when the abuser is in position of authority & trust (and you've been told to be a good girl/boy and trust the adult/coach who knows better), the victim tries to ignore the gut feeling they might have that this is wrong and this shouldn't happen and rationalize that gut feeling away and tell themselves that this is totally fine or at least tolerable. It's a very common psychological defense mechanism. Then later on, after they've been removed from the abusive situation/relationship and gotten different life experiences and different perspective to things (e.g. maybe they've had kids of their own, or they're coaching kids and young people), they may come to realization that what happened in their own youth was indeed wrong and abusive.

 

[cruzceleste]

I have to say that I find the whole Mauritzi/Gallaghan story really odd. How come he stayed with Gallaghan for twenty years and after becoming adult had worked as a co-coach with him and they were friends, and two years after their relationship ended he finally got it that he had been sexually abused in his youth? I suppose after that Mauritzi started to coach on his own in that point and Gallaghan was a kind of rival? Or maybe I just did not get the story right:

http://www.nytimes.com/1999/04/11/s...ng-coach-is-accused-of-sexual-misconduct.html

He started the relationship when Mauritzi was child, under the age of consent, made him believe that it was consensual, and created a depending relationship, Mauritzi is lucky to be able to leave the relationship.

And there are at least two other people talking about inadequate behavior on Gallaghan´s part

 

[LiamForeman]

I have to say that I find the whole Mauritzi/Gallaghan story really odd. How come he stayed with Gallaghan for twenty years and after becoming adult had worked as a co-coach with him and they were friends, and two years after their relationship ended he finally got it that he had been sexually abused in his youth? I suppose after that Mauritzi started to coach on his own in that point and Gallaghan was a kind of rival? Or maybe I just did not get the story right:

I agree and I've thought and wondered about that, too. The only thing I can say is that everyone is different and their story is their own. People handle stressful situations differently and it doesn't make their experience or feelings about it any less legitimate. Some people shrug a situation off and learn from it and move on while others get Stockholm Syndrome and can't ever seem to move on and live their lives as perpetual victims. I could give my opinion on the matter, but I'd come across as an ice-cold jerk. So I won't.

 

[ancientpeas]

The fight-flight-freeze instinct plays in here. It has been shown that your response to bad situations is often deeply ingrained and feels natural to you. Also a lot of victims of childhood sexual abuse have two major problems when it comes to not being abused later in life (into their twenties). First of all if your boundaries are violated as a child you often have a very different sense of what behaviour is acceptable from adults and what behaviour is not. Some victims literally do not understand on a instinctual level that they have any dominion over their own choices or body. You can develop this sort of passivity about being victimized because at time in your life when you had little or no power you were taught to accept abuse. Some people develop a sort of defense mechanism of pretending it is not happening to them or rationalizing it to the point it seems normal. This is what it means to be groomed. Also a lot of adult survivors have PTSD. PTSD can cause all sorts of behaviour that, to a person without PTSD, seem like being a "perpetual victim" but are actually maladapted coping mechanisms. Not all PTSD victims shoot up places or become drug addicts to deal with it. Some just end up in a cycle of passivity (the feeling that you just stay in one place, do as little as possible that somehow the terror will wane on it's own). Not everyone is able to get treatment. In the US it is expensive. In other countries with socialized medicine the wait lists can be very long.

Also, it takes a lot of victims time to step forward. There is a shame and a humiliation as well as the fear of how others will respond to you. Some people will blame you. Some people will accuse you of lying and come up with reasons not to believe you. Even when you have nothing to gain people will still say things like "oh, he just wants attention". Also, you really need to understand grooming to understand how this kind of thing happens. I know that some people feel that if they have been victimized (attacked or molested) in a one off situation that they understand what it means to be the victim of years and years of abuse but they aren't the same thing. The predator grooms you, manipulates you and co opts you into believing that it is a relationship and that you are an equal partner. They may even believe that themselves. However, it is impossible for an adult and a child to have a equal relationship. It is always abuse and it is always wrong for an adult to engage in any sexual activity with a person who is a child. And an adult who is in a power relationship over the child (parent, teacher, coach etc) should never engage in any kind of "relationship" with that child. The onus is on the adult to behave with care and love toward a child in your care, not to violate that by exposing yourself or being overtly sexual to them or around them.

 

[aname]

The fight-flight-freeze instinct plays in here.

Yes, or more fully "fight-flight-freeze-fawn", fawning being a coping mechanism that's a factor in developing codependent relationships (another quick googling gave me these resources: http://pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm & http://therapyinla.com/articles/articleJune2014.html)

I know that some people feel that if they have been victimized (attacked or molested) in a one off situation that they understand what it means to be the victim of years and years of abuse but they aren't the same thing.

And then there's also that kind of coping mechanism where a previously victimized/powerless person unconsciously sides with the victimizer/powerful person and the status quo to avoid dealing with their internalized and unresolved feelings of shame and guilt etc.

For example, with Me Too I've seen some columns written by some older women, who have dealt with ongoing workplace sexual harassment during their career, turning on younger women now speaking up about similar harassment and basically telling them to suck it up and shut up like they themselves had to do back in the day. So, the underlying emotional logic is something like "I had no choice but to tolerate all that crap and I told myself that I had no other choice and that maybe I did something to deserve it, so now don't tell me you want change and you want better options as if you deserve better than I did! If you do speak up and complain about the way you are/were treated, you're just a snowflake and a perpetual victim! So let me project my negative feelings onto you and feel contemptuous of you and therefore more powerful than you, because if you are weak then I am not weak and I can avoid dealing with my own vulnerability and the psychological baggage that I'm still carrying around, and I don't have to confront the powerful individuals & systems that subjected me to that crappy treatment in the first place and made me feel powerless. It's easier for me to roll my eyes at you than feel genuine empathy with you because I don't want those buried feelings and painful memories to resurface." And the thing is, attitudes like that are unfortunate but also understandable. Self-deception, avoidance and projection are very human things, especially when it comes to emotionally difficult things that one would just rather avoid confronting.

 

[ancientpeas]

Post.

Too true. Too true. It's amazing how long the effects of grooming often follow children into their adulthoods. It's hard thing to always recognize though.
Thank you for adding the fawn. I had forgotten about it.

 

[ancientpeas]

This thread could get off-topic really fast btw so lets try to stay as close to the issue as possible.

Also, a protracted conversation about sexual abuse might trigger someone and no one comes to a skating forum to have to deal with that.

 

[Metis]

This thread could get off-topic really fast btw so lets try to stay as close to the issue as possible.

Also, a protracted conversation about sexual abuse might trigger someone and no one comes to a skating forum to have to deal with that.

I think some level of... clarification/explaining how sexual abuse plays out psychologically is inevitable, in terms of making sense of “Well why didn’t so-and-so do X?” Or did you mean something else by off topic? If you’re talking about Eldridge, I agree wholeheartedly... I know I may sound like a killjoy to some, but whenever eating disorders or abuse are revealed, it’s why I feel like it’s important to remember skaters aren’t collective property and why we should remember that they’re people who don’t “owe” us anything.

Maybe we could add a trigger warning to the topic title? It’s admittedly a bit vague, and even the basic facts of the case are enough to cause the kind of trigger response where something doesn’t feel right but it’s also too late to back away. To be honest, I didn’t know what it I was in for when I clicked in, and while I’m luckily pretty trigger-proof now, I remember being far more vulnerable.

 

[ancientpeas]

What am I trying to say is that while explanations and conversation are fine we probably shouldn't turn this into a thread that turns into a debate on sexual abuse if that makes sense. The board is a g-rated place and for all ages and it is very difficult to keep a protracted conversation about this issue from straying into areas that some might find upsetting or inappropriate.

For now we know that Richard Callahan has been suspended and that the young man in question is seeking legal council. That should be the focus of this thread imo.

 

[Metis]

What am I trying to say is that while explanations and conversation are fine we probably shouldn't turn this into a thread that turns into a debate on sexual abuse if that makes sense. The board is a g-rated place and for all ages and it is very difficult to keep a protracted conversation about this issue from straying into areas that some might find upsetting or inappropriate.

For now we know that Richard Callahan has been suspended and that the young man in question is seeking legal council. That should be the focus of this thread imo.

Oh, I absolutely agree with all of this.

I still think adding a trigger warning to the thread title would be immensely beneficial, however, as I imagine many of us had no idea what to expect when we first clicked on the thread and that’s also likely to ... drive emotions. (And as someone who uses the mobile app, which is a godsend, I’d note that there’s limited preview of messages when looking at a thread, so you really are going in blind.)

 

[CellarDweller]

It's really awful that this matter is only just seeing some type of justice now, so long after the fact.

Callahan had access to so many young people, and for that to go unchecked through all this is just disgraceful.

I understand that people are innocent until proven guilty, but when a situation like this comes to light, I automatically give benefit to the one making the allegations. They've been through a horrendous experience, and they don't need people calling them liars after it.

While I am hoping it doesn't turn into a Nassar situation, I am hoping that this wakes people up to this issue, and that young athletes are protected now.

 

[Skatingfan1]

I have to say that I find the whole Mauritzi/Gallaghan story really odd. How come he stayed with Gallaghan for twenty years and after becoming adult had worked as a co-coach with him and they were friends, and two years after their relationship ended he finally got it that he had been sexually abused in his youth? I suppose after that Mauritzi started to coach on his own in that point and Gallaghan was a kind of rival? Or maybe I just did not get the story right:

http://www.nytimes.com/1999/04/11/s...ng-coach-is-accused-of-sexual-misconduct.html

I skated at BSC at the time Craig was Richards student (and under age). I totally believe it to be true. I personally never saw anything but i remember talk about Richard. Also Richard was a control freak.

Craig was a teenager and I believe it would have been difficult for him come forward at the time. He was the victim. There are many victims that stay with their abusers. Sometimes the victim may believe it was their fault.

 

[brightphoton]

I have a question. Why is Callaghan only being suspended from skating activities? It's honestly not bad for him because he's in his 70s and he was probably decreasing his workload anyway.

Why isn't he being sent to jail like the gymnastics doctor? He sexually harassed minors. Statute of limitations?

 

[Scott512]

I saw this a few hours ago on Brennan's twitter feed.

I recall at the time that something was fishy about the USFSA's dismissal of the issue. The thought of a trusted authority figure abusing those he is charged to protect turns my stomach.

Of course, Callahan, like all individuals, is entitled to a presumption of innocence - but from Brennan's story, it seems other individuals have come forth now with additional information.

First the perve doctor with usa gymnastics now this? Tragic.

 

[Scott512]

I have a question. Why is Callaghan only being suspended from skating activities? It's honestly not bad for him because he's in his 70s and he was probably decreasing his workload anyway.

Why isn't he being sent to jail like the gymnastics doctor? He sexually harassed minors. Statute of limitations?

He needs to face a tria! I dont care his age.

 

[Metis]

I have a question. Why is Callaghan only being suspended from skating activities? It's honestly not bad for him because he's in his 70s and he was probably decreasing his workload anyway.

Why isn't he being sent to jail like the gymnastics doctor? He sexually harassed minors. Statute of limitations?

It’s possible no criminal report was ever made. That doesn’t mean that there’s no chance of an investigation now, however, or that Callaghan is out of all legal jeopardy. His victims may also elect to take civil action, and should such a lawsuit reach the discovery phase, I doubt it would end well for Callaghan. And I would very much hope the sport’s governing bodies are included in any potential civil action, since they are also responsible (and also the ones with money).

Maurizi might have some legal options around statute of limitations due to the fact that he filed a complaint but was dismissed... or his case is dead on arrival for that exact reason; I couldn’t tell you and it would depend on the specific charges and where Callaghan were to be hypothetically charged. It’s not always obvious and someone who’s an expert in this area of the law would have to weigh in. To give an example, I had a two year clock but it didn’t start running at the first mention of abuse (including in writing); it started when I reiterated the same claim with more detail, repeatedly, including to specific people who were supposed to be in the chain of command. (Technically, everyone I said “abuse” to was part of chain of command but, basically, when evaluating when the statute of limitations clock began ticking, it started a year after I first made the claims and those initial claims came with a paper trail. Why? Reasons.) So speculating about statute of limitations implications is probably putting the cart before the horse here. In any case, we’d need an actual expert.

Whether or not Callaghan is guilty — and I’d point out that “innocent until proven guilty” is the highest standard; there’s always clear and convincing, preponderance of the evidence, etc. — is not exactly my main problem with this news. I’m furious at USFSA. You can believe whatever you wish about Callaghan while also finding the process abhorrent. If he is innocent, burying the report on a technicality obviously didn’t exonerate him and reeks of a cover up, and if he wasn’t, I hope some lawyer is clever enough to find a way to break their liability shield (I assume they have one) and hold them accountable for their inaction. They had a duty and every single person willing to risk potential child abuse for ... what, exactly, I will never understand — well, they’re going to have to answer that question someday, at least if they ever want to quiet their own consciences.