Crazy Future Predictions

SarahSynchro said:

That's not a crazy prediction, that's Gracie's reality.

I couldn't resist.

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Ehehehe...unfortunately, yes. She needs to read "The Inner Game of Tennis." (Apparently, it's required reading at Julliard. It should also be required reading for anyone who gets a GP.)

Pairs worldwide are mad that they only have eight spots even though dance now has ten, so they go on strike and refuse to compete until more spots are opened up. Only four teams keep refuse to strike. Castelli/Tran win the GPF, despite only skating in one event, because there were so few teams that they all qualified.

Chock and Bates beat Virtue and Moir at Skate Canada. (Also reclaim their National title and World Silver medal...Papadakis and Cizeron will still be at the top. )

Ashley and Gracie go 1-2 at Skate America

Polina Edmunds finally gets some programs that are impressive and worthy of world medals...:hpull:

Jason Brown actually puts quads (THAT IS PLURAL JASON!) in. :angry2:

Meghan Duhamel and Eric Radford land a clean throw quad lutz in competition!

Sui and Han land the quad Salchow, and cause Duhamel and Radford to do two quads in the long. :roll9:

Evgenia uses the 'Tano less, being a little more conservative and poised. Keep it at 2-4 max. :agree:

Yuzuru and Javi land side-by-side quad loops. :eeking:

And lastly, MAO does a 3A-3T IN COMPETITION. OHHHH


Oh and Frank Carroll leaves the fedora at home this year.

Firstly, apologies that it has taken me so long to post my Crazy Future Prediction story. Although I had the idea for the story pretty much as soon as the thread was started, it took me a while to get round to actually writing it. And as soon as I did, I found out new information that meant I had to re-write a large chunk of it! And I just couldn’t find the time or the motivation to do it!

But, I finally got back to it in the last couple of weeks. And not only that, I decided to add an additional strand to the story, in response to recent developments in a particular on-going saga.

I have tried to write this in the style of a newspaper article. So, that is why there are things included that would not need to be included if it was for a specialist figure skating audience. And, unfortunately, including these has made the article incredibly long! It’s more like a whole supplement than an article! So, apologies for that.

And apologies to the journalists amongst our membership that are reading this. I know that I would never make it in your profession! I just waffle on too much!

So, what I have done is split the article into 3 parts. I admit, the first part is a bit on the long-winded side, largely due to including descriptions of each of the skaters. So, to make life a bit easier, I have provided a table which gives you a summary of what is described in the first part. But, because it includes a couple things that are only mentioned for the first time in the second part, I have had to post it at the end of the second part.

Also, to make it even more easy to follow, I have even named all the skaters in the table! As I said, I was attempting to write it like a real newspaper article. And privacy laws would have meant that these particular skaters wouldn’t have been allowed to be named in a real article. But, since this table is just for you guys, I can put anything in it!

Anyway, my crazy future prediction is that we will see the following appearing in the media.

Hope you enjoy it

CaroLiza_fan

Part 1

A 30 year old from East Tyrone has been sentenced in a curious case relating to the sport of figure skating.

In a joint operation headed by Dumfries and Galloway Police, An Garda Síochána and the PSNI, with assistance from the police forces in both the Republic of Cyprus and Northern Cyprus, CaroLiza_fan was arrested and charged with polygamy and immigration offences in relation to a series of weddings held over the summer of 2016.

After being interviewed by police, he was further charged with conspiracy to commit polygamy and immigration offences in relation to two further weddings which were to take place.

All the women involved are competitive figure skaters. Of the five brides, three are Russian, one is American and one is Canadian. The conspiracy charges are in relation to a Japanese skater and a Chinese skater.

Figure Skating is a sport where the number of slots a country has at the Major International Championships is based on the success of the skaters representing that country the previous season. Each country is automatically allocated one slot and, if their skaters did well enough, this can be increased to the maximum of three slots.

It is believed that CaroLiza_fan married these skaters because there are so many great skaters in their countries that, despite being very successful on the international stage, they are not guaranteed to get selected for international competitions. So, through marriage, he wanted to give them the option of representing another country, so as to prolong their international careers for as long as possible.

And due to CaroLiza_fan having dual nationality, that would mean that some of the skaters could represent Great Britain, and some could represent Ireland.

Having such successful skaters eligible to represent them would give a massive boost to the British and Irish figure skating teams. Admittedly, there would be fierce competition between them for each team’s solitary slot initially. But, given the talent of the skaters involved, it would not take too many years for the number of slots each country had to be increased to the full quota of three.

The first two marriages, both involving Russian skaters, took place within the space of a week on the island of Cyprus. The first was conducted using CaroLiza_fan’s British passport as identification, and was held in the ruins of the ancient city of Kourion, on the south coast of the island. The bride was the skater who dominated the 2014/2015 season, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva.

Although she had won so many competitions that year, including the Grand Prix Final and both the European and World Championships, Liza (as she is known) had a disappointing season the following year. And with the sheer number of talented Russian girls coming through, there is no guarantee that she would make it into the 2018 Russian Olympic team. So, CaroLiza_fan decided to boost her chances of going to Pyeongchang by giving her the opportunity to represent Great Britain.

So as to help evade detection, CaroLiza_fan’s second wedding was held in the Northern part of the island, and used his Irish passport as identification. It was held in the ruins of the ancient city of Salamis, on the east coast of the island. The bride was the bronze medallist at both the European and World Championships in 2016, Anna Pogorilaya.

Although she won medals in the two biggest figure skating competitions of the year, Pogorilaya actually had a poor season. There were very few times that she was out on the ice where she did not have at least one very heavy fall. As a result, she is in the same boat as Tuktamysheva. The irony, though, is that Pogorilaya has always had a get out of jail free card, but has so far opted not to use it. Although Anna was born in Russia, both her parents are from Kharkov, so she would be eligible to represent the Ukraine. But, given the current situation between those two countries, CaroLiza_fan wanted to give her an alternative option for going to Pyeongchang: Ireland.

The third wedding involved yet another Russian skater, and was held in yet another different jurisdiction. Due to the bride being 16 years old, this wedding was held in Scotland. To be precise, the traditional place under-18’s to go to elope: the blacksmith’s shop at Gretna Green.

The bride, who cannot be named for legal reasons due to her age, won the Junior GP Final on her debut. But, she has not won any Junior Majors since then. That said, she was runner-up in all three of this season’s Junior Majors, as well as at the Russian Junior Championships (in fact, she has finished on the podium at Junior Nationals every year she has competed in it). But all those competitions this season were won by the same skater, Polina Tsurskaya. And to further rub salt into the wound, Tsurskaya also beat her in Senior Nationals. And therein lies the problem.

Russian Bride number 3 is moving up to compete in Seniors full time in the 2016/2017 season. There will be a lot more world class skaters that she will have to beat just to get selected for the Majors. And she knows that it will only be a couple of years until Tsurskaya is old enough to move into Seniors full time. This, and the fact that it has been a few years since she won a Junior Major, could play on her mind and place her at a disadvantage to her competition.

This skater is good enough to win most countries’ National Championships, and she is young enough to be around for a long time. So, to get her out of that environment and try to ensure that she is a regular competitor at the Senior Majors for many years to come, CaroLiza_fan wanted to make her eligible to compete for Great Britain.

The fourth wedding was held on CaroLiza_fan’s home island of Ireland. Using his Irish passport as identification, Caroliza_fan married American skater Ashley Cain at the Hill of Tara, Co. Meath. Although it is not quite as strong as the Russian field, America has a lot of good Ladies skaters. Like Pogorilaya, Cain already had other options available: her Dad is Australian, and her Mum is Canadian. But, both those countries also already have a lot of strong Ladies skaters.

The thing about Cain is that she also competes in Pairs Skating. Indeed, she recently announced that this was the category she was going to concentrate more on. Like America, Canada has a lot of strong Pairs partnerships, so representing her Mum’s homeland was never going to be an option. Australia only has a few Pairs partnerships, but Ashley also wants to continue doing Singles skating. So, that made a switch to her Dad’s homeland less likely.

So, given that these options were not plausible, CaroLiza_fan wanted to give her another. Great Britain has a few Pairs teams, whereas Ireland does not have any. So, it seemed fairer if Ireland was to be the additional option.

The next wedding was held in CaroLiza_fan’s home country of Northern Ireland. Using his British passport as identification, he married 2-time Canadian Champion Kaetlyn Osmond at Tullyhogue Fort, near his home town.

Osmond won the Canadian Championships as recently as the 2013/2014 season, but since then she has almost become the forgotten member of the Canadian Ladies team. This was largely due to the knock-on effects of her missing all of the 2014/2015 season because of a broken leg. Although Osmond won the competition where she made her international return, the rest of the 2015/2016 season was a mixed bag. And because Canada only had 2 slots for the World Championships, finishing 3rd in Nationals wasn’t enough to get her to Boston.

It was after this fifth wedding that police arrested CaroLiza_fan.

Continued below...

Part 2

...Continued from above

When the third wedding was registered, officials became suspicious about a 30 year old man from Northern Ireland marrying a 16 year old girl from Russia. So, they informed Dumfries and Galloway Police, who opened up an investigation. Detectives soon uncovered the first marriage to Tuktamysheva in the Republic of Cyprus, and contacted the police over there to find out more.

After discovering that CaroLiza_fan had actually travelled to Cyprus on an Irish passport, they contacted the Garda. Their investigation uncovered the second marriage to Pogorilaya in Northern Cyprus. Whilst the Garda were liaising with the police in Northern Cyprus, the fourth marriage to Cain took place. However, CaroLiza_fan was already back home in Northern Ireland by the time the Gardaí found out.

Now that the police forces in Scotland and Ireland were aware of the extent of the polygamy, and it’s international nature, they brought the PSNI into their investigation. The PSNI started surveillance, and discovered that a fifth wedding was being arranged. As soon as the wedding was over, they swooped and arrested CaroLiza_fan.

A subsequent search at his home uncovered evidence that suggested that this marrying spree was not over. Police found a set of return tickets to Hong Kong.

During questioning, CaroLiza_fan explained that he always wanted to go to the Far East, and decided to do it now as he wanted to visit a good friend that had moved to Hong Kong. And, he thought that this trip would be a good opportunity to marry a Japanese Singles skater to get her Irish citizenship. (Japan is another country with a very strong field in Ladies skating). However, he soon found out that the skater in question was already eligible for British citizenship through her own family connections and, consequently, there was no need to go ahead with this part of his plan.

As he already had everything booked, CaroLiza_fan decided to chance his arm and contact 2 Chinese Pairs skaters. He explained to the police that these 2 skaters had had a very successful career together, winning all the Junior Major titles at least once. They also won a Senior Major title (the Universiade) a month before they successfully defended their Junior World Championship title.

However, the Chinese Skating Association had recently forced them and another Pairs couple to swap partners. And the female skater from the highly successful couple had made it obvious that this partner change was against her will. So CaroLiza_fan thought that if he married her, it would mean she could switch to representing Ireland and escape the control of the CSA. And that her original partner could follow her over to re-kindle their partnership.

CaroLiza_fan owned up to everything during the police interviews, explaining that he was only trying to boost the chances of the skaters getting selected for Major competitions. In return, the police agreed not to take any action against any of the skaters involved.


Continued below...

Part 3

...Continued from above

At his plea hearing, CaroLiza_fan’s lawyer, Miss Kirk, argued that since none of the skaters had actually stayed in either the UK or Ireland after the weddings had taken place, and the ones that he had married overseas had not even entered either country, then no immigration offences had actually taken place.

After some consideration, the presiding judge, the Honourable Ms. Justice Tarasova, ruled that, although the skaters had not stayed in either the UK or Ireland, immigration offences had technically still been committed. Consequently, the immigration related charges would remain on the book.

CaroLiza_fan subsequently pleaded guilty to all counts, which consisted of:

• four counts of polygamy
• two counts of conspiracy to commit polygamy
• five counts of immigration offences
• two counts of conspiracy to commit immigration offences

Sentencing him, the judge said that although CaroLiza_fan was co-operative throughout, these were very serious offences. Consequently, the sentences she handed out reflected that.


All sentences were to be served consecutively.

Everybody in the courthouse was visibly shocked at the severity of the sentences. There were whispers that even half of those sentences would drive the most sane person crazy!

CaroLiza_fan apologised for his actions as he was led from the stand to begin his 13 years of mental torture.

Well, that's my Crazy Future Prediction completed! I hope you enjoyed it!

But, can I ask a question?

Did anybody spot the hidden previews of this story which I included in my post for the "How are you dealing with the off-season?" thread way back in April?

Believe it or not, there are seven photos relating to my Crazy Future Prediction story hidden in that post!

If you didn't, time to get hunting!

CaroLiza_fan

CaroLiza_fan said:

Well, that's my Crazy Future Prediction completed! I hope you enjoyed it!

But, can I ask a question?

Did anybody spot the hidden previews of this story which I included in my post for the "How are you dealing with the off-season?" thread way back in April?

Believe it or not, there are seven photos relating to my Crazy Future Prediction story hidden in that post!

If you didn't, time to get hunting!

CaroLiza_fan

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Wow! That was amazingly detailed and had me in stitches

TheTruth said:

Javier Fernandez telling the truth about his private life :think:

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lol, which truth?

Angelina Kucvalska will take the gold, Latvia will take the Gold medal!

Seren said:

Gold goes to a skater not from the USA, Russia, or Japan.

Not likely, but it could happen...

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World teams are decided by fan vote. Yulia makes it back to Worlds.

TheTruth said:

Javier Fernandez telling the truth about his private life :think:

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Huh? First, it is his business what he does and doesn't tell about his private life, and second, accusing him of lying about his private life is pretty rubbish. He's actually been quite open, with him and Miki.


Crazy prediction:

karne emotionally detaches herself from any skater and reacts with no emotion to either good results or bad. This state of events continues until a miracle medical treatment for concussions appears on the scene. Joshua is one of the first subjects of the treatment, returns to the ice at full strength, and US Nationals ends in a three-way tie for the title between Joshua, Max and Jason, whereupon karne explodes into a mess of tears and screams and then expires.





karne is still so sad.

Layback11 said:

Wow! That was amazingly detailed and had me in stitches

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Awww!!! Thank you so much for your kind words, layback11!!!

The stories you come up with are always really entertaining and enjoyable to read, so it means a lot to hear you say nice things about mine.

Yeah, I felt that the level of detail I was going into in the first half was maybe a making it a bit boring to read. So, that was why I decided to inject some humour into the second half.

I thought it would be nice to work in that a skater who is studying law represented me. And Jenny Kirk seemed the perfect choice. And I don't know about anybody else, but I can really imagine TAT presiding over a courtroom!

But, it was great fun coming up with the punishments!

I’m so happy that I made you laugh.

---

Thank you to everybody that has “liked” the various parts of my story.

In particular, I would like to say a massive thank you to kalee for the “like” they put on Part 1 of my story.

That “like” is the 1,500[SUP]th[/SUP] that I have received since the thumbs feature was installed!!!



CaroLiza_fan

Here's my crazy prediction - I have no idea how realistic this is, though.

Deniss Vasiļjevs continues to greatly improve next season and finishes in the top 10 at either 2017 Europeans and/or 2017 World Championships. I believe this gives Latvia 2 spots for the 2018 Europeans/Olympics/World Championships. Lukas Kaugars continues to greatly improves in the next two seasons and we see him live out his dream skating to remarkably innovative and expressive programs. We then see Lukas get off the ice and go to the kiss 'n cry to sit next to his beloved coach, Damon Allen, and his bromie choreographer, Joshua Farris.

yume said:

lol, which truth?

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karne said:

Huh?

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Word of advice, kids: do not feed :sarcasm:

musicfan80 said:

Here's my crazy prediction - I have no idea how realistic this is, though.

Deniss Vasiļjevs continues to greatly improve next season and finishes in the top 10 at either 2017 Europeans and/or 2017 World Championships. I believe this gives Latvia 2 spots for the 2018 Europeans/Olympics/World Championships. Lukas Kaugars continues to greatly improves in the next two seasons and we see him live out his dream skating to remarkably innovative and expressive programs. We then see Lukas get off the ice and go to the kiss 'n cry to sit next to his beloved coach, Damon Allen, and his bromie choreographer, Joshua Farris.

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This is what I love about your crazy prediction, musicfan. Some dreams don't involve medals.

A group of skaters is bored at an event banquet and starts Googling themselves. They then stumble upon this forum, and, subsequently, competition threads for events they competed at. They all sign up to embarrass posters who had the audacity to insult them online; as soon as they're approved, they start quoting negative posts about themselves and snarking on the posters. After they've gotten the message across that they can and will find you if you insult them, they start using the forum to do more productive things, like announcing injuries and music choices and posting blogs from competitions. Posters get to interact with their favorite skaters without traveling to events, and Golden Skate becomes 73% more positive when trollish posters realize that skaters can read everything they're saying about them.

Sam-Skwantch said:

1) WADA bans cereal when they discover that an unusually high number of American skaters and fans are eating it before and after competitions.

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Literally laughed out loud here.

Layback11 said:

A group of skaters is bored at an event banquet and starts Googling themselves. They then stumble upon this forum, and, subsequently, competition threads for events they competed at. They all sign up to embarrass posters who had the audacity to insult them online; as soon as they're approved, they start quoting negative posts about themselves and snarking on the posters. After they've gotten the message across that they can and will find you if you insult them, they start using the forum to do more productive things, like announcing injuries and music choices and posting blogs from competitions. Posters get to interact with their favorite skaters without traveling to events, and Golden Skate becomes 73% more positive when trollish posters realize that skaters can read everything they're saying about them.

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Layback11, I love you!

And I love the idea of skaters making announcements on the forum.

Being the owner of quite a few Fan Fests, I know it is VERY hard to get information about music choices (particularly from before they made their ISU debut), and also to get information about their participation in smaller, less publicised competitions. You really need to have contact with the skater themselves, or at least somebody in their camp, to find out everything you want to know.

Which brings me nicely onto my next point.

It is not just the skaters themselves that may read things on here. I know of at least 5 skaters (some very well known, some not as much) who have PARENTS that visit this forum.

And parents are not normally afraid to take action if they think that what is being said about their child is not on.

So, I think we should all keep that in mind before we post.

CaroLiza_fan