Charlie Bilodeau retires from competitive skating

[lariko]

I really hope Ilyusheckina could find a new partner, as unlikely as it is. They immediately became my fav in Canadian pairs this year & I understand how hard it is with age, but I’m just going to keep fingers crossed...

 

[4everchan]

To me, Charlie comes across as someone who thinks A LOT... and once he has made his own decision, he doesn't want to be influenced by coaches and partners. It can seem inappropriate or rude, or simply lacking in communication skills, but I see it more as someone who listens to his own needs.... he said his heart was no longer in it already at Nationals, and one could tell in the Free.... they did so well all season, until he couldn't deal with it anymore... at such a high level and in such a dangerous sport, I can see how one would have such a hard time making a retirement decision, and would decide to just go with his guts instead of talking through this...

what if he skyped Lubov, and she started to cry and then he may have said " okokok... let's see what happens after confinement is over...." etc.... or same with Julianne... what if she had said 'you are wrong, i am fully committed and into this.. give me a chance to prove it to you"...

he just didn't want to deal with this... many people make decisions like this in life... whether it is breaking up... leaving a job, moving cities, changing their lives, quitting a job etc.... but they don't have to make them publicly.... i think people should reserve their judgments for themselves.... the passion was no longer there, he quit... that's all there is to it.

 

[TallyT]

I see it more as someone who listens to his own needs....

And totally, totally shuts out his partner's?

Look, we don't actually know what it was really all about, what their relationship really was, we don't know any more about what happened - or who Charlie or our heroes in any field really are under the image - other than the small window they choose to open for us. I think he could and should have been more courteous but it's done and dusted and really, I care a LOT more about how it affects Lubov, given what she gave up for the partnership and the rotten timing for her to need a new path on top of everything.

I hope we hear soon how she is doing, but also that she takes the time she needs to work out where to go next, and wish her all the best.

 

[karne]

but I see it more as someone who listens to his own needs....

(snip)

he just didn't want to deal with this... many people make decisions like this in life... whether it is breaking up... leaving a job, moving cities, changing their lives, quitting a job etc.... but they don't have to make them publicly.... i think people should reserve their judgments for themselves.... the passion was no longer there, he quit... that's all there is to it.

All of this completely ignores the fact that this wasn't just about him.

His decision-making has now torpedoed two ladies' careers. He needs to understand that he doesn't get to make unilateral decisions for a team. Yes, he shouldn't have to keep skating if he doesn't want to, but he does need to consider his teammate who is also affected by his decisions.

And that's leaving aside what he did to Julianne, who in no way deserved to be told that she was holding back the team.

 

[4everchan]

really?

people retire from the sport all the time... so every single hockey/football player who has had enough with the sport and its injuries/training regiments etc.... should ask coaches and teammates before retiring?

when lubov joined him, she knew that this partnership might not gel or go anywhere... she also knew that it was at the most for 2-3 years depending on their olympic trajectory.... they did 1 year, he tried his best, he didn't feel it... that's all there is to know.

i dislike how people assign a bunch of feelings and intentions to athletes they have never met based on what? the tiny bits we see in the media? plesae

 

[karne]

really?

people retire from the sport all the time... so every single hockey/football player who has had enough with the sport and its injuries/training regiments etc.... should ask coaches and teammates before retiring?

That's disingenuous at best. Not only are football players easily replaced, but they are one of seventeen on game day - losing one player has less of an impact on the team. But a pair is just that - a pair, only two members. And male pairs skaters are in shortage. Charlie's decision impacts Lubov's career possibly to the point of no return. And he couldn't even have the decency to let her know earlier than the night before. He led her up the garden path then slammed the gate in her face.

when lubov joined him, she knew that this partnership might not gel or go anywhere... she also knew that it was at the most for 2-3 years depending on their olympic trajectory.... they did 1 year, he tried his best, he didn't feel it... that's all there is to know.

Oh, bulldust. He dumped his previous partner unceremoniously because he felt she was holding him back from getting an Olympic medal. Lubov had every reason to believe that this was a 3 year deal to go through to the Olympics. That was how it was pitched to her. And then the second it gets difficult and he realises he probably won't get that Olympic medal? He quits. And doesn't even have the decency to give her more notice.

 

[Lota]

I don't think people are angry at his decision to leave as much as they are angry at his way of dealing with this decision. Obviously, it must have been a very tough decision for him. If you spend so much of your life doing something only to come the realization that it is the very thing that makes you unhappy, it's just awful. And good on him for prioritizing his mental health. Thing is, if he was a singles skater in the Men category, nobody would be making a big deal out of this. It would be sad for his fans and that's about it. But that isn't the case. He is a pairs skater with a partner that has an equal weight in making decisions. They should've talked it out and come to a decision together.

So many pairs in Pairs and Ice Dance have ended their partnerships or skating careers together and, while the discussing and the decision making part may have been unpleasant to them, at the end of the day they'd still come out with a joint statement (as a team, which they are) - A is ending their career and B is continuing or evaluating options, or A and B are ending their skating careers. And, while I also would not want to speculate without knowing all the facts, the fact that Liubov stated that it was like "a stab in the back" makes one think that their wasn't much discussion on their end.

Also, they are a team of 2 people, not a huge team that has back-ups. There's a shortage of men in skating (especially Ice Dance and Pairs). I'm not saying that this should have influenced his decision and made him stay, just that he was in a unique position and comparisons to other sports do not represent the reality of their situation adequately, as there are not many pairs sports in the world.

At the end of the day, I congratulate him for prioritizing his mental health and hope he has a nice life, but his way of dealing with the decisions with both of his partners is pretty appalling. It just shows a lack of respect towards them on his part. He could have made the exact same decisions, just after talking about them with his partners instead of blindsiding them. After all, it's not just something that is hurtful to them as people who trusted him - it's also something that can end up effectively ending their careers.

 

[chuckm]

The problem is he TOLD Lubov he was quitting, he didn't DISCUSS quitting with her. Of course she felt stabbed in the back!

 

[liv]

Poor Lubov. I thought they really showed such potential this season. They were so interesting... that amazing lift... I thought, with a new partner who is so different from his previous partner, that a new way to skate pairs would be interesting and inspiring. He seemed like a different skater when he was with Lubov...and they were still learning how to skate together...

Each person has to evaluate how they feel and I"m sure being in isolation has made many people think about their lives (I'm actually expecting more retirements, no one specific comes to mind, but in general) and what they want to do in skating and in life. Still, it's sad to see this... I wish, for her sake, that he had it in him to share his doubts/feelings about skating and lack of motivation, but he is who he is and that's that.

 

[4everchan]

i disagree with you karne... that's all i can say.

Lubov and Charlie were pretty much my favourite pair this year. I saw them rise up from nothing... going to championnats d'été etc... lubov and charlie looked so happy together. They had great chemistry on and off ice. Charlie's family adopted Lubov. Seeing how beaming she was to be in Montreal and competing, I am convinced that though the pain is deep now, she will remember her time in Montreal fondly.

Then, at Nationals, it was a different story... Charlie WAS no longer "there".... at 4CC, I even feared he would drop her.

I am relieved he realised he no longer had it in him to continue. He told her before the media. She knew. But he needed out and did not give her a chance to "negotiate".... and to me, that's correct... he was no longer in it.... he couldn't force himself to be in it.... and actually, that what was he blamed Julianne for... she wasn't committed etc etc... so I trust he didn't want to be for Lubov the burden he felt Julianne might have been on him (personal interpretation).

I agree with Liv here : confinement is a mind changer... a lot of people use the opportunity of having not so much to do to reflect on their careers... He made his decision and it's better for him to stay strong and clear with it. If Lubov wants to skate in the future, she has a few months now, when everything is dead, to consider her future.... People mentioning how she was taken away from the circus... well the circus is probably going to be bankrupt... all the artists were laid off in March... so either way, Lubov's future would have been uncertain .... at best.

So i feel for Lubov. I love her skating, her on and off ice personality. Her joy. Her dedication : she deserves a partner who will be fully committed to her... and that way, Charlie did the best he could do : letting it go when he felt he could no longer support her. Lying to himself and to her about his involvement would have been way worse

 

[mrrice]

So i feel for Lubov. I love her skating, her on and off ice personality. Her joy. Her dedication : she deserves a partner who will be fully committed to her... and that way, Charlie did the best he could do : letting it go when he felt he could no longer support her. Lying to himself and to her about his involvement would have been way worse

I agree with this statement and you and I usually agree on everything. My question is this, Why would she use the term "Blind Sided" if he had kept her in his thoughts when deciding to retire at such a late point in the season? When I was skating and was told by my parents that I had to stop skating, I called my coach and the captain of our group routine because I knew there would be a spot that would have to be filled.

Most pair skaters (And dance partners) are fairly close. I think she would have understood if he had admitted EARLY ON that he was just tired and didn't love skating anymore. I think they would have a good cry but, she would have been able to move without him. Just a sad situation for all involved.

 

[TallyT]

I am convinced that though the pain is deep now, she will remember her time in Montreal fondly.

Oh, I wouldn't bet the farm on that if I were you :scratch:

Charlie did the best he could do

Sorry, but it sounds like you are desperately reaching for excuses for his lack of common courtesy.

I totally fell for them as a couple (her smile and his superb nose... yes yes, and the skating ) this year, thought I had me a second pair to follow. I actually don't have as big a problem with him wanting out - few if any sports players get to international level without a certain level of self-absorption, "Ego Is Not A Dirty Word" springs to mind a lot when watching any sport - and if he wasn't in it, he just wasn't in it.

But baldly announcing it to the woman he'd asked to make a big, career-changing commitment and then not even giving her a few days to absorb it before what reads as a "me me its all about me!!!" announcement to the world was as, people say, immature and quite rude.

The one thing I can say in his favour is that at least he didn't take the easy route and drag it out till after the whole COVID thing died down and then drop her just as the season started up again. I wouldn't be surprised if quite a few couples in both discipline don't survive this...

 

[mrrice]

The problem is he TOLD Lubov he was quitting, he didn't DISCUSS quitting with her. Of course she felt stabbed in the back!

I agree 100%. This was not a discussion between two people who came to an agreement. He QUIT and dissolved their partnership without her consent. She was stabbed in the back. People keep talking about HIS feelings well, she has feelings as well. When your ultimate goal is to make it to the Olympics, you are willing to make sacrifices and if he'd let her know in time to find a new partner, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

 

[4everchan]

Sorry but i have dumped many bfs without their consent and vice versa. Lol. When it is no longer there, there are no explanations possible other than i am done. I am purposely comparing it to a relationship because many users are. The dude no longer wants to skate. Not even shows. With their lifts and presence they could have been stars in show world. But he is no longer into skating. This is a huge deal to realize for someone who skated all his life. He does not need to get her consent to stop skating. He was done.

 

[Kypma]

Sorry but i have dumped many bfs without their consent and vice versa. Lol. When it is no longer there, there are no explanations possible other than i am done. I am purposely comparing it to a relationship because many users are. The dude no longer wanta to skate. Not even shows. With their lifts and presence theybcould have been stars in show world. But he is no longer into skating. This is a hige deal tonrealize for soneone who skated all his life. He does not need to get her consent to stop skating. He was done.

Yes, but did he have to plan ahead with the media and release what some have called a diary entry through Radio-Canada (French national broadcaster), versus announcing it on his own social media, fewer than 24 hours after informing her? His reasons have been mostly agreed upon as valid, but it's majoritarily on the delivery that people have taken (and continue to take) offence. As seeing as Charlie himself chose to go the media route, that criticism is fair.

 

[4everchan]

Yes, but did he have to plan ahead with the media and release what some have called a diary entry through Radio-Canada (French national broadcaster), versus announcing it on his own social media, fewer than 24 hours after informing her? His reasons have been mostly agreed upon as valid, but it's majoritarily on the delivery that people have taken (and continue to take) offence. As seeing as Charlie himself chose to go the media route, that criticism is fair.

there is NEVER a great way to announce the end of a partnership.. the French CBC is very fond of these athletes diary articles.... In Quebec, Charlie and Julianne were stars... and he knew that if he wrote something to explain himself, it would be public in those athletes blog section... but the thinking came first... it probably took a while... he made his decision, he wrote his blog... perhaps it was a way for himself to confirm his feelings... he finished the article but told Lubov and his team first... the article got published...

would it have been better if Charlie had waited to publish it 4-5-6 days later??? maybe.... but in sports nowadays, it's slow news...who knows? maybe he didn't even expect it to be published right away... what would have been backstabbing, is if the article came first... but he did announce it first to his news.

my point is simple : leave the guy alone. I hate it when people demonize public persona based on media. We know absolutely nothing.

 

[TallyT]

Sorry but i have dumped many bfs without their consent and vice versa. Lol. When it is no longer there, there are no explanations possible other than i am done. I am purposely comparing it to a relationship because many users are. The dude no longer wants to skate. Not even shows. With their lifts and presence they could have been stars in show world. But he is no longer into skating. This is a huge deal to realize for someone who skated all his life. He does not need to get her consent to stop skating. He was done.

But do you make a public announcement the minute you drop someone before they have time to take it in?

He's not into skating anymore, fine. He wants out, fine. He publicly treats his partner past and present like yesterday's leftovers (and Lubov feels knifed in the back, which also gives us an idea of the tact and empathy he showed when telling her), only fine for a bit of a jerk.

 

[4everchan]

honestly, if people are starting to call him a jerk, this thread should be closed down. that's just not fair and not appropriate behaviour for GS.

 

[mrrice]

4everchan;2597314]Sorry but i have dumped many bfs without their consent and vice versa[/B]. Lol. When it is no longer there, there are no explanations possible other than i am done. I am purposely comparing it to a relationship because many users are. The dude no longer wants to skate. Not even shows. With their lifts and presence they could have been stars in show world. But he is no longer into skating. This is a huge deal to realize for someone who skated all his life. He does not need to get her consent to stop skating. He was done.

Well, I doubt they had to read about it in the press to find out they were single. BTW, how did your partners react when you "Dumped" them. Trust me, if I had been dumped by my BF and found out at the same as the rest of my family and friends, I would have been devastated. We are now PAGES into this incident and you can see by the comments that this issue is huge. Athletes train their entire careers for the chance to make it to the Olympics and he derailed, if not completely ended her chance to make her dream come true.

 

[TallyT]

Well, I doubt they had to read about it in the press to find out they were single. BTW, how did your partners react when you "Dumped" them. Trust me, if I had been dumped by my BF and found out at the same as the rest of my family and friends, I would have been devastated. We are now PAGES into this incident and you can see by the comments that this issue is huge. Athletes train their entire careers for the chance to make it to the Olympics and he derailed, if not completely ended her chance to make her dream come true.

She found out a whole day before. I guess that makes all the difference.

PS - I think it would have been wiser for a joint public announcement to be made once Lubov was allowed some time to get over the shock. As it stands, people - including me! - feel too much for her to make allowances, and I don't think that's wrong.