I´ve noticed the almost complete dominance of balletic-style skating over the last few years. Everyone seems to be using wispy arm movements, little pointy hand jesters. The costumes are filmy and full-on make-up is the norm. There has always been this but there were other styles as well. Kerrigan (yes, she was made up and Vera Wang clad) was graceful but her jesters were strong and lines clean - more like modern dance . Kwan displayed lovely lines but was essentially athletic.
Skaters like Alissa Czisny natually have this soft quality and it is beautiful to watch. But, many of today´s women seem uncomfortable out there. You can almost see them trying to make each move look feminine. It must be distracting for an athlete.
There are politics here as well. If you want to be on that podium you better be built like a Paris fashion model. I´m not sure i would want to encourage a daughter into a sport that has such a narrow view of feminine beauty. It seems retro. I don´t think athletics, artistic gymnastics or diving holds such a narow view. Here´s hoping a place will open up again in figure skating for women who carry themselves beautifully, flaunt their strength and not have to appear the femme fatale.

I am honestly at a loss as to how you have arrived at your conclusions. Who are you watching that makes it appear as though ladies' skating is all about having the same style and everyone is looking to be "wispy" and "too femme" (whatever you mean by either term)? Yuna Kim is too fierce for that, Kostner and Suzuki have a much greater range, Ashley Wagner has too much attack, Mao Asada has done tinkly stuff along with other concepts. I don't feel like Kaitlyn Osmond is being pushed into a mold (and Rochette was so strong and fit, she looked amazing - still does). Model-perfect Kiira Korpi has made some surprisingly quirky program choices in the past. Looking at the Russians, this description doesn't fit Leonova, or Tukt, or even Sotnikova (Aguilera, balletic. ha.), and not all of the younger generation, though they are still developing their style. It can't be Marchei, Gedevanshvilli, or Meite, and the Helgessons are too voidy.
If anything, the ladies are showing more personal style and originality than the men. "Pretty ballerina" is not a label I would apply to most skaters today, nor do all that many seem to strive for it, at least not as their only option. I don't think so many of them are distracted by trying to look feminine, so much as many are probably struggling to be IJS-friendly - which does demand effort and concentration. And really, I'm surprised that Kwan is being used as an example of an athletic skater. I would actually classify Kwan as far more traditional in terms of her skating style than many of today's top competitors, though she did have a lot of original music choices.
Makeup has long been the norm, and most of the ladies do a very tasteful job with it, considering that it needs to be somewhat theatrical to really be seen from a distance. Competitors can now wear pants if they wish, though I'll allow not many do, and while some costumes look like bridal on ice, many competitors opt for bold colors and otherwise interesting looks.
The suggestion that WAG encourages a healthier body image than skating, considering the well-documented issues that sport has had in terms of disordered eating and abusive coaches, is strange. Not to mention that competing in a leotard is more revealing and restrictive as a costume than what skaters wear.
I am sure that many young girls do get into skating because of the pretty ice princess fantasy. But I don't think that's enough to sustain a serious skating career, nor does it seem to be the motivation at the higher levels of the sport.
In sum: I disagree with almost your entire post. I will agree that it helps to be good looking (in all skating disciplines, not just ladies), and that a certain type of physique can be conducive to success, though that's more likely because it is conducive to successful jumping/lifts/whatever than because it's a requirement. BTW, not a single lady looks like a Paris fashion model, because they are all too short.
p.s., not the OP but a note for anyone who wants to complain about men's skating or specific competitors being feminine or effeminate: please stop. There is no one right way to skate, whether you are a man, woman, pair, ice dancer, synchro skater or theater on ice performer. Narrow-mindedness is not good for skating as a sport or an art.