ISU announces the death of John Coughlin

[heyang]

The guest gave an example of a 23 yr old male pairs skater dating his 17 yr old female partner. And that they would the different laws state to state, as in age of consent.

She said sometimes parents were in denial, like pairs partners dating. Everyone at the rink knew abt the romantic relationship but the parents just went - Oh, its just innocent.

There are pairs partner who got married like Grinkov & Gordeeva, Shen & Zhao, Pang & Tong, Chris & Alexa Knierim.
So it wouldnt be surprising for them to be dating & later break up

This part of the conversation that may have played a part in the video being removed. On the G&G facebook fan group, there were some who were offended by her mentioning G&G's age difference. Since I didn't finish viewing the video, I have no idea what they were talking about other than being upset about her comments regarding G&G.

 

[satine]

I personally am withholding judgement until there is a definitive conclusion from a governing body - SafeSport, law enforcement, etc., - but under the circumstances, there may never be an answer.

I just wanted to chime in about allegations made against a man that was in a long-term relationship with an immediate family member of mine. One thing I will always remember about him is that when you called his home phone he had this really funny voicemail message. That has always stuck with me. He was such a genuinely funny man, loved his dog like nothing else, he fancied himself a great cook, & once he gave me more quarters than I knew what to do with when I asked him for some to play the claw machine.

He was also a pedophile. I know for 100% certainty because I was abused by him. And even more than I hate to remember him, I hate knowing that there are still some in my family who don't believe me. I remember my grandmother defending me to my aunt that I couldn't dream up what he did to me if I wanted to.

But what I learned from all of this is that pedophiles or other criminals aren't these horrible, ugly monsters that lurk in the darkness and emerge only to terrorize their victims. They are people. They are loved. They have pets. They do well at their jobs. They're real, live, breathing people. And if John was innocent, then he was still a very real, valid person, who deserves to have his name cleared.

So I'd just like to ask that people restrict from both judging him as guilty and judging him as innocent. There's no need to condemn the man or condemn his accusers just yet. Reserve your judgment in cases like this. The charges are very serious and you should take your reaction to them seriously, too..

 

[SmallAminal]

I think a lot of what needs to be said has already been said, but I will leave it to these two thoughts:

1) Even if improbable, it is always *possible* that someone is innocent of these accusations;

2) Notwithstanding #1, it is also *possible* that the person you know to be "a good guy guy" or "wouldn't hurt a flea" is actually really capable of bad things. A family member recently put up a FB post on the anniversary of my father's death and a friend commented that "he was such a warm and lovely person." It was difficult for me to read because it was clear that their experience differed from the one my mother and I had (we had restraining orders and he spent time in jail). Family members disowned me because they refused to believe that he could be anything other than an upstanding person and it was our fault that he was in jail.

Given my experience in #2, it has always been an effort to uphold the principles in #1, but I try. I also tried to find some sympathy for my family members that disowned me - I realized that they could not reconcile *their* experience with mine, even in the face of legal convictions. I could easily have been on the other side of it - it took me decades to come to this realization. Therefore, I try not to judge harshly those people but understand that human nature makes it difficult to think these things are possible.

This situation with John Coughlin is tragic all around for many reasons. I hope everyone involved finds peace.

 

[gsk8]

We know this has been a difficult time for everyone. However, now that folks have had a bit of time to process, this thread will be closed until further information is released. Please refrain from gossip, speculations, rumors etc. in other areas of the board.

Update 1/23/19: While John Coughlin's name has been removed from the U.S. Center for SafeSport of recent interim measures, we will continue to monitor and await any further investigation(s) that may take place.