Piccolo: You play the fiddle, sir?
Captain Hudson: It's a violin.
Piccolo: Oh. Hey, you know the difference between a violin and an onion? Nobody cries if you chop up a violin. Ah, I just heard that, that's not my professional opinion, sir.
Captain Hudson: You know for a man whose name is Piccolo, you show very little music appreciation.
Piccolo: Sir, I read this, that book, "The Red Badge of Courage."
Capt. Hudson: What did you think?
Piccolo: It's pretty good.
Hudson: Pretty good? Stephen Crane is one hell of an author.
Piccolo: Hey, maybe I'll uh, I'll e-mail him a fan letter.
Hudson: This book was written in 1895.
Piccolo: Oh.