Married Teen Gives Birth...

[JOHIO2]

Talk about weird news....seems a "married" 14-yr-old had a baby and the authorities are talking about charging her "husband."

My question: why don't they also charge the girl's parents?

Married Teen gives Birth

 

[Tonichelle]

I agree.... the parents should have figured it out when a 20 year old wanted to date their 12 year old....

 

[julietvalcouer]

Unfortunately, the girl's parents didn't do anything illegal, at least in giving permission to go to Kansas to marry. And technically, since the Kansas marriage was legal and as such is valid in Nebraska, her husband didn't, exactly, either. Unless they can prove that he was having sex with her before their marriage, in which case it would be statutory rape. I suppose a really clever attorney could probably get the mother on contributing to the delinquincy of a minor, maybe accessory to statutory rape. It's not, however, against the law to be a complete moron about whom you allow your daughter to date.

Memo to Kansas: update your legal age of marriage with parental consent! Yeesh.

 

[heyang]

The mother gave permission for the marriage when she found out her daughter was pregnant. Technically, hubby could be charged with statutory rape.

 

[PrincessLeppard]

This is all over the news here. The mother tried to get a restraining order against the guy (this is not his first underage girlfriend, btw), but couldn't get the police to issue one. (Police say she never asked. You decide.) Neither the girl nor the guy is a particularly bright bulb (obviously), and my main concern now is for their kid. Oh, and I'm guessing hubby will leave soon for the next 12 year old, as that seems to be his preferred age.

I don't know if they've decided whether or not to press charges. Nebraska, being particularly conservative, has a lot of people who think that since the problem was "fixed" by them getting married, the courts should leave them alone. Meh. (not the majority, mind you, but enough. I have got to move.)

 

[Grgranny]

Yes, it's been big news here. I was 19 when I got married and my parents had to give permission. This was in Nebraska. Back then you had to be 21. My parents went ahead and gave permission because they figured if they didn't we'd go to Kansas and get married. I've always wondered why in the world we didn't have laws like that but then it's also known as the abortion state.

 

[STL_Blues_fan]

Yes, it's been big news here. I was 19 when I got married and my parents had to give permission. This was in Nebraska. Back then you had to be 21. My parents went ahead and gave permission because they figured if they didn't we'd go to Kansas and get married. I've always wondered why in the world we didn't have laws like that but then it's also known as the abortion state.

I am sorry, I am not following your point here. What laws are you refering to? The perental permission if the girl is over 14 but under 18? and what is the connection to abortion? I am just curious.

BTW, in one of the articles I read, it is said that the guy's mentality is at about 12 year old level. That may explain his attraction for junior high students. I feel bad for the kid. At least the mother re-enrolled in HS.

Yana

 

[Grgranny]

I only meant that Kansas has some stupid laws.

 

[Rgirl]

Okay, I'll stick my hand in the fire. Forced to make a choice if a 13-year-old girl was already pregnant by a 20-year-old guy, which do you think would be the best for all involved?

1. Have the couple divorce or have the marriage annulled (I know, tough with a child; but didn't Ted Kennedy get one from Joan after 20 years and three kids?) and give the child up for adoption.

2. Same first part as above but have the girl's parents raise the child until she finishes high school or reaches 18, whichever comes first, and can go on welfare as a single mother.

3. Abortion is not an issue here, and without at all meaning to sound like a smart-a** (at least one child's future is at stake, possibly two if you count the mother) but not all that many decades ago and still in some parts of the country, when a 12 or 13-year-old girl got/gets pregnant, her father and brothers hunted down the husband for the proverbial shotgun wedding. I'm not trying to make a joke at all; I lived 11 years in Utah where thousands of 12 and 13-year-old girls were married off to 40 and 50-year-old polygamist men with other wives. Same happens in northern Arizona, southern Idaho, probably other states, and certainly other parts of the world.


I'm curious as to what people think. IMO, this kind of thing happens all the time; it's just that either the girl isn't quite as young or the guy quite as old or if they are, it's a community where a couple of such marriages a year are just accepted.

For me, this story brings parental rights to choose for their underage child, differing state laws, political family values, and biology crashing right into each other. And you can bet the politicians (on all sides) will try to make hay from it. You can only make laws to stop this kind of thing to a certain extent. As someone else said, neither young parent is very bright and maybe they're happy living a not very bright life, which I say in all seriousness.

I agree we need to protect barely pubescent girls from sex and marriage with 18 and older men with laws; but in a situation like this, when the wedding cake has already long been digested, is it better to disrupt lives and throw the guy in jail or send him to some kind of training program so he can get a job, which includes a big long talk by a huge scary judge saying, "Son, if you ever even LOOK at a 12-year-old girl again that way, we'll slam it in the slammer and you dang well know what I mean by IT!"

"Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?"
R-Beck

 

[IDLERACER]

Bear in mind that the deep rural south isn't like the rest of this country. Loretta Lynn married at 13. People made a big deal about Jerry Lee Lewis' 13 year old bride, but because he wasn't famous at the time, nobody raised an eyebrow at the fact that his cousin Jimmy Swaggart's new wife was around the same age.

I've lurked in chatrooms where folks from sparsely populated areas below the Mason/Dixon line were typing, and many of them still have this bizzaro 19th century mentality whereby if a girl isn't married off by 20, she's in danger of becoming an old maid.​

 

[Blue Bead]

This is one of those subjects where there is no right answer, LOL. On the one hand I can understand why the authorities would want punish the young husband as julietvalcouer posted, for statutory rape and contributing to the delinquincy of a minor. The article doesn't elaborate on who is charging the husband with sexual assault of a minor nor how the Nebraska Attorney General got involved in all this. There are a lot of details to the case that are unclear.

On the other hand if the goal is to put this guy away for decades to keep him from doing the same types of things to another under age female, there might be some merit to trying the case and getting a conviction against the husband. As much as it makes my skin crawl to read about a 20 to 22 year old male hitting on a 12 to 14 year old female, there just aren't enough details presented in that article for me to really know what is going on in that case and what's really behind it all.

What I don't understand is what possible interest could a 20 year old male have in a 12-13 year old even though the obvious answer is sexual interest. There was an implication in the article that his underage bride isn't the first very young female that he's approached. If that's so then the guy is a pedophile and has found a legal way to have his way with an older child on a regular basis, and for that reason alone he should be incarcerated for 50 years.

As for the marriage, some form of annulment or dissolution should take place. Neither the girl or the guy is sufficiently mature to handle the rigors of marriage or child rearing. Since this "marriage" was sanctioned by the girl's mother when she gave her permission for her daughter to go to another state to marry the guy, I don't know that the authorities have much of a case. Does anybody know what the statutes of Nebraska says about a minor getting married out-of-state with parental permission and then returning to Nebraska to live? Is there even any statute that addresses the issue?

If the girl's mother is up to it and can afford it, I would think it would be in the baby's best interest to give the girl's mother the legal guardianship for the baby. That way the girl could be of some help in the day-to-day responsibilites of caring for that child without having the legal authority to make decisions in the baby's interests. Then if the girl's mother doesn't feel up to the task or can't afford it, place the baby up for adoption. What shouldn't happen is for this girl to raise her baby by herself; she's much too immature to be caring for this child, especially since she allowed herself to be talked into unprotected sex, or worse yet didn't understand the implications of having sex.

 

[PrincessLeppard]

Idleracer, honey, Nebraska is many things, but the rural deep South, it ain't.

Crap, do I have to be the one speaking up for Nebraska? Meh. Nebraska law requires the state to recognize the marriage, because the state honors Kansas marriage licenses.

I think the mother of the girl got fed up with the situation when the daughter got pregnant, she decided to let them get married. This would not have been MY solution, but no one asked me. I can't remember how Attorney General Bruning got involved (thank God ultra right wing freak Stenberg doesn't still have the job; he'd probably throw them a reception), and I still don't know if Bruning has decided how to proceed. The case isn't as black and white as I first thought, but even if the guy is an utter and complete dimwit, someone needs to haul him aside and have a looooong chat about responsibility.

 

[RealtorGal]

I think the logical solution is to lock the guy up in jail so one more child will grow up in a home without a father.

I may not approve, but he did marry her legally, and the state of Nebraska needs to BUTT OUT. Someone must have his eye on higher office, and figured this would be a good way to raise his media profile.

 

[PrincessLeppard]

Sadly, RG, many Nebraskans agree with you. But here's the deal. To the best of my knowledge, Bruning does not have his eye on a higher office. As a Democrat, he's limited here, unfortunately. So here's this guy that authorities suspect has been with several 12 and 13 year old girls, but they can't prove it. None will testify against him. So he gets one PREGNANT. Now there's proof. I've sort of wondered if he married her to avoid prosecution. Just a thought.

 

[STL_Blues_fan]

The article that was featured on abcnews.com a while ago mentioned that it was too late for the abortion (which means, it was an option considered), and she didn't want to put the baby up for the adoption. The girl also said that where she lives most kids either get high, drunk and then get killed from either overdosing or drunk driving, or they get pregnant. Then she asked, which option one is worse. She is obviously missing the point that most girls do not get pregnant at 12, and especially by 19 year olds.

I am siding with RG. I think the state should butt out. The guy does not appear to be a serial pedophile - he wouldn't dumped the girl as soon as she got a bun in the oven, and he would be looking for a repalcemnet. When you are 20 with a low IQ, you don't have much in common with other 20 year olds.

Yana

PS - midwest is not the same as deep south! Also, not all south is like the Appalachian (sp?) region.

 

[Tonichelle]

Idleracer, honey, Nebraska is many things, but the rural deep South, it ain't.

I was going to say the same thing


I agree with all that's been said. What is done is done. Seriously if you're not going to punish the parents for being stupid and allowing it, why prosecute the hubby?

I don't approve, but I don't see what good is going to come of this :indiff:

 

[Rgirl]

I may not approve, but he did marry her legally, and the state of Nebraska needs to BUTT OUT. Someone must have his eye on higher office, and figured this would be a good way to raise his media profile.

Ah, my twinnie gets to the heart of the issue once again: Somebody sees an opportunity to gain political power! Let's hope it backfires big time.

And in defense of Idle's geographical references re Nebraska, although I don't think any of Nebraska or Kansas is below the Mason-Dixon line, that simple separation is not what makes the south South. Ever spent time in southern Ohio? An excellent depiction is given in the film "The People vs. Larry Flynt." Especially in the southern parts of certain midwest/mideast states, they don't have to have been in the Confederacy in order to have a confederate culture.

I don't mean anything negative by that; IMO a lot of it has much less to do with geography and a lot more to do with socioeconomic stagnation or descent over the generations. If it's common where you live for girls to marry at 14 or so to older guys, what's a year or two younger or older?

Sometimes single cases encapsulate critical cultural mass, i.e., Rodney King, and it's not only appropriate for the state to get involved but also necessary. IMO this is NOT one of those cases.

What this situation does need, IMO, is support from an understanding social worker but I realize that in this country that's like asking for time off and money for eduction for both parents; time off for one parent to always be able to spend adequate time with the child along with experienced help; decent affordable healthcare; a lifetime of more-than-adequate finances; and a dog that does back flips. But hey, wouldn't most people want that.

I feel bad for the new young family as well as the girl's parents. Hopefully things will die down so no one can make political hay out of it so those agencies that truly can help and are interested in doing so can do the job their financial pittance allows.

Rgirl

 

[Grgranny]

There's still a lot of south & north going on. I was raised to believe the Mason Dixon line was the border between NE & KS. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut (and maybe I should have opened it) but this one woman started ranting in the restaurant about "those" colored people in a very derogatory way.
She was whispering but I was so disgusted with her, I tried to avoid sitting close to her. Now, this is my Sunday School class and I am the only one under 80 but that is no excuse whatever. I only hope no one else heard her. I will tell you there is a difference in the way Kansan's and Nebraskan's feel. There is more bias in Nebr. Now to the funny part, kind of. I was about 4 or 5 and we were at the local rodeo and up on a huge billboard type with a stage, (I can still remember it) was a band of black musicians. I had never seen nor heard of black people before and I was scared to death. Mother had to take me clear out around the fairgrounds, as I was screaming, to get to the car. I have come so far from my NE beliefs that now, I hardly even notice they're a different color.

 

[PrincessLeppard]

Does anyone actually read my posts or am I just typing for no reason? Attorney General Jon Bruning has no aspirations to higher office. He has not, at this time, decided what to do with the 20 year old. But seriously, are none of you worried that this sets a dangerous precedent? That child molesters (and he is one, stupid or not) can marry their victims and thus be immune?

 

[Grgranny]

I really don't know what would be best. I suppose my vote would go for it to have been adopted. It's kind of like shutting the barn door after the horses are out. I know that parents can only have so much control. Although, I sure had more control than that with mine. Guess we'll have to ask Dr. Phil.