Crazy Future Predictions

[Layback11]

:rofl2: These stories are too funny! And more so because I'm already writing a crazy future prediction story that's the size of a novel in my spare time...

But what about Patrick? In my story he switches to race car driving and wins the Andros Trophy (French national ice racing championship).

I am, too...well, in my head

 

[vivley]

I am, too...well, in my head

Haha, is there a place for figure skating fanfiction on this forum? We have some great jokesters and storytellers here! :agree:

 

[Layback11]

Haha, is there a place for figure skating fanfiction on this forum? We have some great jokesters and storytellers here! :agree:

I once got a warning for posting a fake conversation between skaters because it isn't allowed, so no. But maybe there's some other site where it is?

 

[vivley]

I once got a warning for posting a fake conversation between skaters because it isn't allowed, so no. But maybe there's some other site where it is?

Ah, too bad. Well, here's another crazy future prediction:

100 years from now, descendants of your favorite skater(s) will skate on the moon, with the stars for a backdrop.

 

[Violet Bliss]

Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir are cast to star in the remake of Blades Of Glory. After all the open bickering in the entire duration of the shooting of the movie, they announce their engagement at its release. Vera Wang is commissioned to design the wedding attires and Johnny talks excitedly about the wedding plan during commentaries at skating competitions. Evan poses full frontal nude for Sports Illustrated which cause fights between the couple, due to Johnny's jealousy according to insider gossip. The engagement is called off. Evan is seen dating a Hollywood starlet while Johnny attends fashion shows with various hot young men. Six months later, they surprise everybody with another engagement announcement, only to call it off the next month. They then each marries a model, a female and a male but are both divorced within a year. They console each other and decide again to get married .........

They go on to set a world record in the number of engagements by the same two people. They never marry. eta: Each other.

 

[thoakun]

Med went to Japan hoping to play the air-headed Sailor Moon in a musical, only to realize that the fans of Sailor Moon are hitting middle age and busy hitting the gym to get into shape. Luckily, she received a phone call from Fernandez, the Vice-president of ISU to work as a translator at the green room. She's in charge of translating from Russian to English thanks to her killer resume of watching British shows every day. Her side kick is Mirai, who will translator from English to Japanese. Mirai is currently working as a skating coach/sunshine maker and live in a majestic cave with 100 rescued dogs. She is sad to be away from her dogs for the whole skating season, but she's relieved that Jason will babysit them and give each of them a hug every day. After all, Sailor Med and Sailor's Mirai are honored to take on the mission of bridging the cultural gaps in the green room which are too often than not the source of conflicts among different behaviour police forces on the internet.

I've come up with several harmless cross-cultural mistranslated conversations but I'd better keep it in my head

 

[cathlen]

Sui/Han have gotten married and dedicated their lives to the cause of contacting uncontacted tribes in South America.

Married and with two children Sui would be still denying they have chemistry

His sister Maia is the head of the Women's Sports Foundation, and is happily married to Denis Ten (I ship them!!).
Javier Fernandez is the Vice-President of the ISU. His wife Miki is the President of the JSF.

Ksenia Stolbova and Fedor Klimov are married. They have exceptionally beautiful children.

Maia & Denis, sweet! And I would love for that prediction about Javi & Miki be actually true. The skating world could be so much better!
That is one crazy prediction about S/K, but their children would be beautiful for sure! :luv17:

 

[Sam-Skwantch]

Radionova invents an arm variation called the weed whacker that becomes all the rage until it's promptly banned when Yuzu performs one at Skate America that causes a front row fan wearing a wig to become a hairless mess due to the wind created by his weed whacking arms!

The Tano is replaced by a bizarre new trend where skaters yell James at the beginning of step sequences and a boisterous BROWN upon It's ending. The James Brown shuffle upsets all old school fans who refuse to believe it should be worth a positive GOE.

Judges are allowed to sleep during events and no one cares.

The ISU is proud to announce that center ice will now feature a fully inflated and animated whacky inflatable flailing tube arm man at all events. Skaters begin choreographing sequences which utilize this new feature.

Yulia releases a tell all book in which Ilya is shamed into admitting that the true inspiration of the SL iconic moment was a total ripoff!!
https://media.giphy.com/media/kKdgdeuO2M08M/giphy.gif

 

[Bonesfan]

Blades of Passion becomes Brown uber, OS becomes Medvedeva Uber

I think BoP likes Jason (?)

 

[Bonesfan]

A few random GS ones:

Yuzuru Fanfest shuts down due to inactivity

chuckm becomes a Chan uber.

4everchan changes his username to NEVERchan

Hope no one takes offense (apologies in advance)

You should add - Karne becomes Hanyu uber fan

Actually one of karne's goals at Worlds was to finally "get" Hanyu, which she did and also gave him a standing ovation.

 

[invisiblespiral]

You should add - Karne becomes Hanyu uber fan

And a Kovtun uber-fan too!

And I join her.

And the CSA splits up the rest of its pairs.

 

[Layback11]

And the CSA splits up the rest of its pairs.

When Xiayou Yu gets word that a university is trying to create a love potion, she does everything possible to obtain a sample. Does she use it on Jin? Uh, no, that would get her nowhere. No, she decides to use it on several Chinese Fed officials, figuring that if they're in love with her, they will let her skate with whomever she wants to skate with. At first, this goes splendidly; she is reunited with Jin, and the officials will do whatever she wants. But it soon becomes clear that this invention was in its testing phase when the people it was used on start randomly lapsing into fits of rage and experiencing accelerated hair growth. She eventually decides to give them the recently-discovered antidote; by now, the officials have seen what lengths she will go to not to skate with Hao Zheng and are all scared of her. She and Jin are left alone. Hao Zhang retires, and Cheng Peng teams up with a junior.

 

[invisiblespiral]

By the way, how was my story?

 

[Layback11]

By the way, how was my story?

I liked it! Were all those characters supposed to be Yu/Jin? The multiple name changes kind of confused me, but otherwise it was very well-written. :yes:

Also, I'm glad that post made you smile because apparently you are an "incoherent ball of rage." Now I want to make a montage of them...

 

[invisiblespiral]

I liked it! Were all those characters supposed to be Yu/Jin? The multiple name changes kind of confused me, but otherwise it was very well-written. :yes:

Also, I'm glad that post made you smile because apparently you are an "incoherent ball of rage." Now I want to make a montage of them...

Yes, they are various Ys and Js born in different countries. I also put it up on AO3...

(I tried to reverse-engineer it to get them to mean the same thing, but I gave up after realizing how few girls' names mean rain.)

Inconherent ball of rage has cooled down. Now is coherent ball of anger.

 

[Layback11]

Yes, they are various Ys and Js born in different countries. I also put it up on AO3...

(I tried to reverse-engineer it to get them to mean the same thing, but I gave up after realizing how few girls' names mean rain.)

Inconherent ball of rage has cooled down. Now is coherent ball of anger.

Hehe.

Making a montage of them. Supposed to be a typical tearjerker tribute. (Hint: the song was used in my favorite V/M exhibition.)

 

[karne]

Actually one of karne's goals at Worlds was to finally "get" Hanyu, which she did and also gave him a standing ovation.

But karne would still like to point out that that does not make her a Hanyu uber, or even a fan, just an admirer.

And a Kovtun uber-fan too!

And I join her.

Now this is a TRULY crazy prediction

 

[naz]

LOVE! My version:

The 2038 pairs event is a clash of the ex-elite-skaters'-kids: event favorites include Alex Shibutani's oldest daughter Alissa and partner Logan and Volosozhar/Trankov's children Alina and Dmitri, who both wish they were singles skaters have to try very hard not to wring each other's necks.

In ice dance, Sinitsina/Katsalopov's kids, Maria and Alexander-known affectionately as Masha and Sasha-take silver, coached by none other than Elena Ilinykh.

Mao Asada commentates for various Japanese TV stations. Ashley and Adam commentate for NBC, carrying on the grand tradition of commentators wearing strange outfits, always with copious mesh.

Approximately half of the men's event-including all medalists-is coached by the team of Maxim Kovtun and Nobunari Oda, whose renowned Zayak-proof layout soon becomes THE THING in men's skating, phasing out the previous trend of jumping with your head tilted up (popularized by Boyang Jin).

Yulia Lipnitskaya's choreographies become "the thing" in ladies after a skater she choreographed for, Elizaveta Pogorilaya, wins the gold.

Scandal erupts when Yuna Kim coaches a Russian skater to a medal. 350% done with Sochi-Mania, which has STILL not died down, she plainly tells everyone perpetuating the scandal to go get a life in an interview that quickly goes viral.

When several of the ex-elite skaters get a moment to chat, several of their career choices puzzle the others: Gracie Gold has become a sports psychologist, Evgenia Medvedeva has somehow become a world-class violinist, Satoko Miyahara is an actress, and Sui/Han have gotten married and dedicated their lives to the cause of contacting uncontacted tribes in South America.

Alex Shibutani's extremely influential television production company creates a channel that does nothing but stream every skating competition that exists, no matter how obscure. All video is high quality, some of it commentated by himself, ex-skaters, or his children (2/3 of whom know nothing about skating).

Okay, that last one's kind of a wish...

Ah, I LOVE THIS!

Thank you, Layback11, for the amazing and totally true predictions which make me want for them to turn into reality! They are really creative!

I want to develop this a little more:
The ShibBC has gone worldwide just in time for the 2038 Olympics. The channel has become so popular due to advertisement from Miyahara and Yuna's interview, that the ratings are higher than NBC Sports' and CBC's put together. Wagner and Rippon are asked to join the ShibBC and they agree immediately. Asada is also ready to switch. The ShibBC soon becomes a monopoly and Alex opens up three more channels, broadcasting hockey, baseball and basketball on each.

Daisuke Hanyu credits his wins to Gracie's help, and with the publicity she is receiving, she finally announces her plans to create a synchro team (I don't want to give up on my dream of the Golden Girls! ).

 

[naz]

One more that I totally forgot about:

Nam and Polina Nguyen have opened up a figure skating party business which mainly focuses on selling flowers, plush toys and fun accessories. The business, called Gone with the Win, is one of the main sponsors of the rebooted TCC, along with Uno's KOSE, because that's where their story started

 

[4everchan]

Back to crazy predictions:

Mrs P's Baby wins the first WC gold medal ever in figure skating for vietnam and gives full on interviews in Vietnamese