You should be blunt, I think most of us are adults here. There has to be a way to make everyone co-exist, nobody should feel like they have to leave this place permanently and days like yesterday are always going to be chancy.
If the answer is we self-police more during those days when emotions are running high, then so be it. If it's particularly bad in the competition threads, point it out and ask for a break.
Pointing out to people how what they say is too much should be done. Pointing out what is upsetting should be fine but putting up with somewhat of a release valve on (quite short) occasions because we'll all blow sooner or later should also be fine and having room for a bit of a mope is also needed.
I think if there's no malicious intent, we should be able to agree overall and back off sometimes or allow leeway. But we can only know if we talk to each other because we really do have different reactions/thresholds. It won't be perfection all the time, but most of the time, it should be good. Too optimistic?