OutofShapeWorthlessLoser: Gracie Gold

[skylark]

I don't think anyone had any reason at the time to think that Frank would not be good for Gracie. In fact, career-wise, he was good for her. She did well as his student up until Worlds 2016. After her extreme feelings of disappointment at not being on the podium at Worlds, her personal problems started to take over--things Frank didn't know about and that Gracie did not tell him, or anyone. I don't think any coach could have given Gracie what she needed. Frank, by the way, did put her in touch with a sports psychologist, who referred her to a clinical psychologist, but Gracie at the time was not ready to open up and only went a few times.

Thank you.

 

[CoyoteChris]

I have not read Gracie's book, but I know that she has been through some incredibly tough times, and that she is very serious about being an agent of change. Gracie has my respect and my good wishes.

Yes, Gracie had skating-related expenses (understandably very high) plus living expenses.
OTOH, Gracie -- unlike many top U.S. women skaters -- once had a slew of mainstream sponsors, including: Nike, Visa, United Airlines, Cover Girl, Smucker's, Kose, Pandora ... and I'm probably forgetting others. (ETA: P&G, Airweave.)
Gracie also had skating-specific sponsors, such as John Wilson Blades and Edea -- which I believe would have alleviated some of her equipment costs.
Gracie toured with SOI in 2014, 2016, 2017 ... skated in Disson shows ... skated in The Ice in Japan ... and I feel sure that she skated in other shows that I don't remember off the top of my head.
Over at least five seasons, she earned prize money at many ISU events: GPs/GPF (ETA: and JGP); Worlds/Four Continents/Junior Worlds; World Team Trophy.
And she received USFS envelope funding -- which is not cushy, but it is something.

I certainly don't know the dollar amounts for any of the above.

ETA (on Feb 17):​

It would be possible to look up the amount of prize money from each ISU event, but I have not done so.​

I did look up that in Apr 2016, Gracie earned $22,000 in prize money at Team Challenge Cup. ($7000 for the first day, plus $15,000 for the second day.)​

But based on what I have read about her book, my understanding is that after the misfortune of losing her make-up bag, she literally could not afford to buy new cosmetics?
I do not think it is clueless to wonder -- without being judgmental -- how Gracie's financial situation became precarious to that degree.
I am not picking on Gracie. I would also wonder if in a similar timeframe, it instead had been Ashley Wagner, who on a ballpark level would seem to have had similar expenses and similar sources of revenue.
(Maybe Gracie's lost make-up bag contained expensive high-end brands? But did she literally not have the money to buy drugstore brands -- such as Cover Girl -- to at least tide herself over? I am not being snarky; I am trying to grasp what her reality was.)

I would never think ill of you, my friend...and its only natural to wonder how it is that many lottery millionaires, for instance, go broke in 5 years...but in general, a person's/family's income and outflow and tax situation in any given year is so complex in these kinds of situations its basically impossible to guess what really is happening financially. Or who gave her and her family what advice. I just want her to be happy and whole.

 

[synchro66]

Having read this, I’m not sure what to make of it. After some reflection, I think I was more sympathetic to her before reading this. There seems to be a lot of fingers pointed at everyone around her, and an expectation that everyone would just key into her distress and what she calls “big feelings.” Even as she acknowledges that she could not/would not share her distress with anyone. What kind of turned me off is near the end of the book when she talks about one of her poor skates in her comeback (so after the rehab and therapy) and she blasts everyone for reaching out to her with sympathetic messages. Blocking a friend for trying to be kind because she doesn’t “get” your big feelings or instinctually know how to comfort you seems … well, self- centered. She seems to want people to understand that she is more than just a skater but to the public, (despite the feeling that many think they know her), that is what they know her as, especially because despite seeming miserable she continues to put herself in that spotlight. So in fact it does seem to be a huge part of her identity to this day. I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well.

Please note this my opinion of the book; please do not attack me as someone who is cold-hearted or “just wouldn’t understand.” While I’ve never been an elite anything, I grew up in a dysfunctional household and have dealt with my own mental health issues, and am an empath to boot. As I stated above, I was just left feeling a bit less sympathetic. It would be interesting to see if in 30 years she has a different perspective on all of this. I hope I’m still around to read that.

None of this is to say that there are not problems in elite sports and sports federations need to change.

 

[CoyoteChris]

Skating at Gracie's level is insanely expensive. To spend $100K on just skating-related expenses is common for the most in-demand coaches, choreographers, and off-ice experts.

You could still spend this much trying and not get her results, easily. This sport, along with equestrian, is a top expense sport.

When skaters try to boot strap it, it's really hard to get the same results. A lot of skaters try and it's hard to break through. Many don't.

Good question! What are the most expensive sports? Shipping horses to some other continent is certainly not cheep.....neither is blowing up an air race engine, let alone the insurance, transporting the crew and feeding and housing them, aviation gas at $10 a gallon. I have no idea what a Formula 1 car and crew cost......

 

[Mathman]

I have no idea what a Formula 1 car and crew cost......

Here is a recent analysis about the cost of "raising a formula 1 driver." It's about 10 million dollars. But then if you make it, the average salary is about 15 million. Kids atart out as 7 year olds in "karting." This costs about US$ 50,000 per year.

This is just to train the driver. The billionaires who build the cars and hire the crews, that's a whole new ballgame.

The Cost of Raising a Formula 1 Driver - Engine Builder Magazine

The True Cost of Raising a Formula One Driver: Can the sport be accessed by all? Learn about the steep financial barriers in F1.

www.enginebuildermag.com

 

[Moxiejan]

I just finished reading it & had mixed reactions. Without sharing spoilers, the “retired editor” in me found some of the material to be overly repetitive and the “skating fan” in me would have enjoyed more little stories (or perhaps a chapter) about happy/funny experiences she had during all those years & competitions. I do realize that she wrote this book for her own reasons & I hope the experience has been helpful for her.

 

[TallyT]

the “skating fan” in me would have enjoyed more little stories (or perhaps a chapter) about happy/funny experiences she had during all those years & competitions.

It's a depressing thought but there may not have been any more...

 

[Skater Boy]

You know more important than Gracie being an "agent of change", helping others, I just hope Gracie can heal, learn who she is and what she really wants and move on. It is just my opinion she doesn't express or show the joy she once had in skating. Does she know she is loved even without a world medal? Does she know she is worth something without skating? Since her challenges since 2016 it appeared for whatever reason she had a need to stay relevant or in the limelight or public eye. But I want her to know take care of yourself first. I get it for some talking it out ie a book or speaking out is helpful brings healing but poor Gracie for whatever reason has never in the last 8 years really taken the time away from the media, the prying eyes of the public. I hope Gracie knows it that people want her healthy and happy and while skating may always be part of her life in some form we still appreciate her as a person and a skater. Maybe she needs to work a Burger King or Walmart and see life away from the ice. Nothing will change that she was a brilliant skater of her day.

 

[el henry]

You know more important than Gracie being an "agent of change", helping others, I just hope Gracie can heal, learn who she is and what she really wants and move on. It is just my opinion she doesn't express or show the joy she once had in skating. Does she know she is loved even without a world medal? Does she know she is worth something without skating? Since her challenges since 2016 it appeared for whatever reason she had a need to stay relevant or in the limelight or public eye. But I want her to know take care of yourself first. I get it for some talking it out ie a book or speaking out is helpful brings healing but poor Gracie for whatever reason has never in the last 8 years really taken the time away from the media, the prying eyes of the public. I hope Gracie knows it that people want her healthy and happy and while skating may always be part of her life in some form we still appreciate her as a person and a skater. Maybe she needs to work a Burger King or Walmart and see life away from the ice. Nothing will change that she was a brilliant skater of her day.

Have you read the book?

It might give you the answers to those questions.

 

[moonvine]

You know more important than Gracie being an "agent of change", helping others, I just hope Gracie can heal, learn who she is and what she really wants and move on. It is just my opinion she doesn't express or show the joy she once had in skating. Does she know she is loved even without a world medal? Does she know she is worth something without skating? Since her challenges since 2016 it appeared for whatever reason she had a need to stay relevant or in the limelight or public eye. But I want her to know take care of yourself first. I get it for some talking it out ie a book or speaking out is helpful brings healing but poor Gracie for whatever reason has never in the last 8 years really taken the time away from the media, the prying eyes of the public. I hope Gracie knows it that people want her healthy and happy and while skating may always be part of her life in some form we still appreciate her as a person and a skater. Maybe she needs to work a Burger King or Walmart and see life away from the ice. Nothing will change that she was a brilliant skater of her day.

It's my opinion that she shows a LOT more joy when skating. She's skating for herself. I can't go back and watch her previous performances knowing how miserable she was.

@el henry is right. These questions might be answered if you read the book. I think you are way off on a lot of your assumptions.

 

[macy]

You know more important than Gracie being an "agent of change", helping others, I just hope Gracie can heal, learn who she is and what she really wants and move on. It is just my opinion she doesn't express or show the joy she once had in skating. Does she know she is loved even without a world medal? Does she know she is worth something without skating? Since her challenges since 2016 it appeared for whatever reason she had a need to stay relevant or in the limelight or public eye. But I want her to know take care of yourself first. I get it for some talking it out ie a book or speaking out is helpful brings healing but poor Gracie for whatever reason has never in the last 8 years really taken the time away from the media, the prying eyes of the public. I hope Gracie knows it that people want her healthy and happy and while skating may always be part of her life in some form we still appreciate her as a person and a skater. Maybe she needs to work a Burger King or Walmart and see life away from the ice. Nothing will change that she was a brilliant skater of her day.

was was out of the spotlight though? for quite some time too, and IMO has been pretty lowkey on socials the last 8 years. she was out of skating and in recovery for two years until she went to Rostelecom 2018. she didn't compete at nationals until 2020. she has been relatively silent and private after her comeback as a lot of fans didn't know details on her progress or training situation until she turned up to a competition (outside of the time she was with Vincent Restencourt and he was posting videos of her jumps). same as this last season where no one knew for a long time why she wasn't competing and she was injured. i have not seen her in the media hardly at all until talk of her book began the last several months. i'm not sure what less you'd want her to do? she came back to skating for herself and to finish her career the way she wants to, and so far that hasn't been national podium finishes or even many international events. she has not been in the spotlight even comparable to what she was pre 2017.

 

[Skater Boy]

Having read this, I’m not sure what to make of it. After some reflection, I think I was more sympathetic to her before reading this. There seems to be a lot of fingers pointed at everyone around her, and an expectation that everyone would just key into her distress and what she calls “big feelings.” Even as she acknowledges that she could not/would not share her distress with anyone. What kind of turned me off is near the end of the book when she talks about one of her poor skates in her comeback (so after the rehab and therapy) and she blasts everyone for reaching out to her with sympathetic messages. Blocking a friend for trying to be kind because she doesn’t “get” your big feelings or instinctually know how to comfort you seems … well, self- centered. She seems to want people to understand that she is more than just a skater but to the public, (despite the feeling that many think they know her), that is what they know her as, especially because despite seeming miserable she continues to put herself in that spotlight. So in fact it does seem to be a huge part of her identity to this day. I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well.

Please note this my opinion of the book; please do not attack me as someone who is cold-hearted or “just wouldn’t understand.” While I’ve never been an elite anything, I grew up in a dysfunctional household and have dealt with my own mental health issues, and am an empath to boot. As I stated above, I was just left feeling a bit less sympathetic. It would be interesting to see if in 30 years she has a different perspective on all of this. I hope I’m still around to read that.

None of this is to say that there are not problems in elite sports and sports federations need to change.

I am sorry you have to make a comment about not attacking you. I feel the same. It is great we have freedm of speech but on these boards often "fans" of the skaters get for lack of words defensive. I see even response to my comments. I read the book and in many ways I think it is brave and helpful to others and in other ways I findit a bit self servingandn otjust healing. It is "natural" that we try to make ourself the hero, the victim the champion who overcame adversity. And she deserves support and encouragement regardless. I keep on getting beaten up about comments about limelight and maybe I do not communicate well or Gracie's fans are "defensive" but while her media attention is reduced with lack of outward success in skating through or since 2016 she "seems" to like or put herself in the attention situation and I read her book I wonder as much as therapy can coe from letting it out/ helping others if she just needed some Gracie time. Like many we just love reading about skating stars and hopefully some humanity even if it may be glossed up.

 

[el henry]

I am sorry you have to make a comment about not attacking you. I feel the same. It is great we have freedm of speech but on these boards often "fans" of the skaters get for lack of words defensive. I see even response to my comments. I read the book and in many ways I think it is brave and helpful to others and in other ways I findit a bit self servingandn otjust healing. It is "natural" that we try to make ourself the hero, the victim the champion who overcame adversity. And she deserves support and encouragement regardless. I keep on getting beaten up about comments about limelight and maybe I do not communicate well or Gracie's fans are "defensive" but while her media attention is reduced with lack of outward success in skating through or since 2016 she "seems" to like or put herself in the attention situation and I read her book I wonder as much as therapy can coe from letting it out/ helping others if she just needed some Gracie time. Like many we just love reading about skating stars and hopefully some humanity even if it may be glossed up.

Well certainly it is natural: you make yourself out to be the hero in your posts, I make myself out to be the hero in my posts.

But I think the wording: making yourself out to be a hero, could be taken the wrong way, as though someone is fudging the truth to make themselves look heroic. So there will be pushback, because very few think that Gracie has done that. Do you think making yourself out to be a hero is a bad thing? That it is fake? In my view, Gracie has no more done that than you or I do by posting on this Board. If you don't think that she is fake, or that she has said something merely to attract attention, then no worries.

I also do not understand the quotation marks, Why do you have "seems" in quotation marks? Again, by putting it in quotes, to the outside observer, it looks like you are doubting Gracie's word. Do you have any real concrete reason to doubt it? Again, if you are not doubting her word about how she feels now, no worries.

Every single skater puts themselves in the "attention situation". That is, if they are any good as a skater.

Outside of skating, you put yourself in attention by posting here and so do I. The way that you stated it makes it "seem" (see how that looks?) that you feel she likes attention more than any other skater or any other human being. If you did, I see absolutely no proof of that anywhere. If you did not mean that, then no worries.

BTW, I like Gracie's skating, but I would not call myself a super fan, and I certainly have no reason to be defensive about her.

 

[Mathman]

Having read this, I’m not sure what to make of it. After some reflection, I think I was more sympathetic to her before reading this. There seems to be a lot of fingers pointed at everyone around her, and an expectation that everyone would just key into her distress and what she calls “big feelings.” Even as she acknowledges that she could not/would not share her distress with anyone.

I think that this is the nature of emotional distress. You lash out at others while pushing away friends who, if you were thinking purely rationally and not with your emotions, could be confided in for support. It is not an easy tangle to break out of.

 

[CoyoteChris]

Here is a recent analysis about the cost of "raising a formula 1 driver." It's about 10 million dollars. But then if you make it, the average salary is about 15 million. Kids atart out as 7 year olds in "karting." This costs about US$ 50,000 per year.

This is just to train the driver. The billionaires who build the cars and hire the crews, that's a whole new ballgame.

The Cost of Raising a Formula 1 Driver - Engine Builder Magazine

The True Cost of Raising a Formula One Driver: Can the sport be accessed by all? Learn about the steep financial barriers in F1.

www.enginebuildermag.com

Well yes, there is THAT component of the cost of the sport. I know a family that put many 10s of 1000s of dollars into their son to do hockey through highschool...on the slim hope he would get a scholarship, et al. He became a medic. They are not rich people....I talked with a figure skating family on my last cruise. They are from Canada. Their daughter is a "junior level "Canadian skater and they said they paid about $20,000 a year.

 

[CoyoteChris]

I think that this is the nature of emotional distress. You lash out at others while pushing away friends who, if you were thinking purely rationally and not with your emotions, could be confided in for support. It is not an easy tangle to break out of.

Its like you KNOW me.... but its clear you know people.....

 

[moonvine]

Well certainly it is natural: you make yourself out to be the hero in your posts, I make myself out to be the hero in my posts.

But I think the wording: making yourself out to be a hero, could be taken the wrong way, as though someone is fudging the truth to make themselves look heroic. So there will be pushback, because very few think that Gracie has done that. Do you think making yourself out to be a hero is a bad thing? That it is fake? In my view, Gracie has no more done that than you or I do by posting on this Board. If you don't think that she is fake, or that she has said something merely to attract attention, then no worries.

I also do not understand the quotation marks, Why do you have "seems" in quotation marks? Again, by putting it in quotes, to the outside observer, it looks like you are doubting Gracie's word. Do you have any real concrete reason to doubt it? Again, if you are not doubting her word about how she feels now, no worries.

Every single skater puts themselves in the "attention situation". That is, if they are any good as a skater.

Outside of skating, you put yourself in attention by posting here and so do I. The way that you stated it makes it "seem" (see how that looks?) that you feel she likes attention more than any other skater or any other human being. If you did, I see absolutely no proof of that anywhere. If you did not mean that, then no worries.

BTW, I like Gracie's skating, but I would not call myself a super fan, and I certainly have no reason to be defensive about her.

Gracie has stated she is not heroic or brave. She said soldiers are heroic and brave, which is true. But there's more than one way to be heroic and brave.

 

[moonvine]

Well yes, there is THAT component of the cost of the sport. I know a family that put many 10s of 1000s of dollars into their son to do hockey through highschool...on the slim hope he would get a scholarship, et al. He became a medic. They are not rich people....I talked with a figure skating family on my last cruise. They are from Canada. Their daughter is a "junior level "Canadian skater and they said they paid about $20,000 a year.

That sounds pretty cheap honestly.

 

[Skater Boy]

Have you read the book?

It might give you the answers to those questions.

I have and what one says and is in their heart is often different. As they say sometimes actions speak louder than words.

I appreciate it is just my observations and opinion but I don't see a lot of joy in many of her later skates..I guess looks can be deceiving.

 

[Sabsi]

I have finished Gracie's audio book and am impressed by her openness, the courage to reveal herself and to ruthlessly judge those close to her but also herself.

If it wasn't for chapter 17... sorry but I can't get over it. It's one thing that she dedicates Chapter 17 to John Coughlin, his favorite number, she seems to owe him a lot and that needs to be respected and she lost him as a friend tragically. But Gracie's 'if' sentence, about what Ashley Wagner, among others, is accusing him, leaves me with more than just mixed feelings... with this sentence, perhaps unintentionally, she questions the credibility of his victims. Since she is also a rape victim and knows how important it is to believe victims, I would have liked her to deal with this topic differently.

Nevertheless, I wish Gracie only the best, lots of love and peace with herself and the skating world.