Pet Peeves, Part 3

[show 42]

Hi Liz.........The purpose of this thread is for "Pet Peeves", any kind, sort of a place to vent. No one's perfect, least of all children and it doesn't have to do with intolerance, but good manners and parenting. Sitting quietly and trying to enjoy the company of others is difficult when a small child is screaming, kicking the back of your chair, or having a tantrum in the middle of the floor. I have experienced all of these (maybe I should frequent different restaurants ). If a small child is not ready for these experiences, they shouldn't be subjected to them and neither should people who pay good money for a nice meal. That's why McDonalds was invented..... 42

 

[Piel]

Well.......I don't have children and it has been the most disappointing thing in my life that I couldn't have them. I do lots of volunteer work with children though and it has been my experience that bad parenting is usually behind badly behaved children. It amazes me the number of children that are never told no. Another thing that I don't understand is all of the parents who chose to have children but once they have them will do anything to avoid being with them. So Show I am with you 100% on this one. We put on lots of Girl Scout family events open to the entire family usually at very little cost to the families. The reasons parents give to avoid participating with their children never ceases to amaze me. From "Miss P I knew you wouldn't mind if I dropped Briittany-Lindsey-Alicia off and went home we're trying to have another baby and this might be the night " to "Sorry I can't stay and help this is my night to relax without kids." You don't want to exclude kids who's parents really can't attend but you can't provide a quality, safe activity without a lot of parental help either. So besides that my pet peeve is people who won't committ themselves to help with something by actually agreeing to be responsible for a task, but want to just show up and help where needed which is just a way of saying I don't want to work but I want everyone to think I'm helping out.

 

[SusanBeth]

I don't think any of this is directed at the kids. It's the parenting or lack of it at fault. Children have to be taught social skills. The parent needs to really understand their child's capabilities at each stage of development and take that into consideration. I suppose some parents are too lazy or too focused on their on own enjoyment to bother. IMO, more often parents sit there ignoring the child's behavior, because they really don't know how to control their child without hitting, screaming, or threatening. I think they tend to get so defensive, because they know they're clueless.

I often wonder if some people even try to understand their child. They aren't just little adults. You have to understand their stage of development. It's unkind to place a child in a situation that demands more than he has to give. Kids pick up on everything. They know when they are floundering and overwrought. They know when adults are disapproving. They need to be helped out of the situation, but the parents are too busy ignoring them and trying to look liberal instead of clueless.

The lack of parenting skills is as frightening as the seeming lack of common sense. Why would anyone take a toddler to a nice restaurant? Don't they know their child has a short attention span and it's more than they can handle? It's the same thing when you see kids, who have missed naps, being dragged all over the place. Of course, there is going to be a melt down. The kid is exhausted and being bombarded with new sights and sounds. He doesn't have the capabilities to handle that. Why is it being demanded of him? :sheesh:

I have to get rid of this soapbox or I am in danger of going on forever.

 

[Ravyn Rant]

Any peeves that don't involve kids?

Interesting thread, bratty kids get on my nerves too, but if the Amazon Princess didn't behave in public when she was small, we took her home.
My pet peeve is men in big white trucks. I don't know what it's like in other places, but around here so many guys in white trucks drive like homicidal maniacs that we call it "White Truck Syndrome". When the speed limit is 65 and you're doing 75 in the left lane with no other traffic anywhere near you, and some WTO (white truck owner) comes up behind you out of nowhere, flashing his brights because you have the nerve to be a half mile in front of him, then gets up to your car and nearly clips your bumper as he gets into the right lane to pass you - now, THAT'S a peeve! I hope none of you drive big white trucks, keep an eye out for the tendency to drive badly if you do.
Rave
(getting the car thing off my chest today, apparently!)

 

[Dee4707]

LOL! Good for you, Blue Bead. I like the "arrows of evil" description. (trash burrowing and indoor buggy derbies are far past the line!).

Just too funny!!

Dee

 

[Piel]

Rave?Rant, LOL!!! It's not just white trucks I'm afraid, at least not here. My theory is that SOME men drive with their egos. They can't stand it if someone passes them even when it's done legally. So, they have to pass them back and it doesn't matter who or what they take out to do it. It has also been my experience that guys with veteren's license plates tend to be very rude drivers

Susan Beth, activities that are age appropriate are the key. It's not the child's fault if he/she can't sit still during a lecture/movie, whatever. But it is the parents fault for putting the child into a situation that is not age appropriate for the child.

 

[show 42]

Why would anyone take a toddler to a nice restaurant?

Good point, Susan. I'm guessing part of the reason is that they can. I have never seen a restaurant not have a high chair. They promote it. They allow it. I'd love to see a restaurant with a "No children under three" sign out front. I bet they would have patrons lining up at the doors to get in............42

 

[Ptichka]

I see so many kids daily (I'm in the school system so I see a lot of them), farmed off to neighbors, grandparents, relatives, whoever so the parents can take a two week trip to Hawaii...........hello, you have kids, take them with you or plan big get-a-ways when your kids are grown............stay home and parent the kids you decided to have. 42

I don't know Show. I think the occasional week that my parents would take leaving me with my grandparents did eveyone a lot of good, allowing my folks to just have fun. Then again may be I just had really good grandparents (2 grandmothers and a grandfather). And we did always have a family vacation as well.

As to child pet peeves... Recently I was at the Science Museum. This guy is walking around with a screaming baby. I mean, I undertand he wants to go to a museum, and wants to take his baby with him. No problem. So, just take the baby outside once he starts screaming! I mean it's not rocket science!!!

 

[show 42]

An occassional vacation away from home is great as long as family vacations are included. I have seen parents drop their kids off at babysitters countless times during the school year for "getaway" trips. The kids come to school often upset, in tears,and lonely even though they are with relatives.

I don't go to the movies much, but when I do, people with cell phones and (here it is again) babies don't belong there. I've seen people put their phones on vibrate and then take the call in the lobby, which is great. But what about those who let their phone ring, and then carry on a conversation while the movie is on!!!!!42

 

[Piel]

My niece who has a baby and is a huge movie fan lives in Roanoke Va. I'm not sure how often they do this, but on some Saturdays one of the theatres offers "Cry Baby Matinees" where parents are welcome to bring their babies and small children. Everyone understands that there may be crying and all of the other stuff that goes with the little ones. Danielle says that the amazing thing is that these showings are usually some of the quietest movies that she has gone to.

 

[guinevere]

more brat stories

I went to a dance concert in January, in one fo the bigger and nicer theaters in town. Two women came in with 4 kids under the age of 10, PLUS an infant! The boys were tearing around the balcony the whole time, but it was the baby, who of course started crying almost as soon as the lights went down, who was a big distraction.

I work in a theater, and I was livid that this baby even got in the door of the building. At intermission I found an usher and asked what they were going to do about the situation - his response was that he had asked the mother to step out when the baby started crying, but she refused, saying that she had paid for a ticket for the baby. I asked him how the box office could have even sold her a ticket for a baby, and he said the person who went to the window was not carrying the baby. But the whole group had to give their tickets to the ushers to get into the theater, so they should have been turned back there - whatever went wrong that this baby got in there, my point was that they needed to refund this woman's money and make her (and her brood) leave because they were ruining the experience for every other person in the balcony (there were several other people complaining to the usher as well). He said the House Manager was talking with the women.

The 2nd half started without the woman with the baby (the other woman and the boys were still there), but then we could hear the baby crying out in the hall. 20 minutes later, the woman and the baby came back in, and the crying started back up 10 minutes after that.

This was really not a child-appropriate performance - very abstract modern dance that would have been totally uninteresting to a child. Also, some of the music was rather loud and scary sounding - I felt very sorry for that baby, because I'm sure it wasn't having any more fun than the people around it! But I was appalled by the complete lack of consideration of the women who thought this would be good family entertainment, and especially by the theater who did not have the backbone to deal with the situation properly. I guess appeasing two adult patrons with no manners was more important than providing a positive performance experience to the 75 or so other people sitting in the balcony.

guinevere

 

[Ptichka]

I have a friend who, when her daughter was a baby and she couldn't find a babysitter, would buy a ticket to a performance, but instead of siting down, would stand at the very back of the theater. Since babies don't usually start out crying , but whimper at first, if her baby started making any noises, she would immediately take her outside. Worked fine.

 

[Blue Bead]

Another thing that irks me to no end, LOL, is people who park in handicap accessible parking spots who aren't handicapped. My husband is in a wheelchair and drives himself to work each day. The times he has found some unauthorized parkee in the handicap space that was created especially for him are too numerous to mention. The space is clearly marked both with stenciled handicapped parking symbols and the very viewable blue and white handicap space sign. For some reason people assume that if they have stubbed their toes or have broken arms or legs, and don't have handicap cards or license plates that those spaces can be used for the less than truely disabled.

On the occasions where I've had to drive my husband to his job there have been many occasions where some visiting sales representative was occupying that spot talking on his cell phone. And, usually they aren't too happy when I knock on the windows of the car to inform them they are in the space illegally, LOL.

Another frequent experience has occured while waiting for my husband to come out of his office building, after getting him and the wheelchair loaded only to find some car, delivery truck, or package delivery service van has pulled up to the building blocking the exit of my car from the handicap space. I do not appreciate having to run all over an office building trying to find the guy to tell him to move his vehicle so that I can get my husband home. Then there are the folks who fail to notice handicapped ramps in from of offices and stores, and they block them for "just a second" while they run in and get something. It is, also, not much fun at the mall or the grocery store to push a wheelchair to a handicap ramp only to find some bozo has the only ramp for 100 feet blocked with a car, van or whatever.

 

[guinevere]

I have a friend who, when her daughter was a baby and she couldn't find a babysitter, would buy a ticket to a performance, but instead of siting down, would stand at the very back of the theater. Since babies don't usually start out crying , but whimper at first, if her baby started making any noises, she would immediately take her outside. Worked fine.

I have no problems with people who have common sense and do this. You wouldn't believe the people who will try to bring a baby in a theater and then sit in the center of the entire house!

 

[Piel]

The attitude of healthy people towards those who need to use handicapped parking is another pet peeve. I have a handicapped parking sign in front of my house because my neighbor who owns a lot of rental property and always has people coming and going from his house uses the parking in front of my house as his own private parking lot. When I first started having to use a w/c and h/c spaces I had the temporary parking thing that goes over the rearview mirror. I kept it in my purse because sometimes I would take my car and other times go with my sister or Mother. One day I was too ill to drive myself so my Mother came to take me to a doctor's appointment. She parked in the h/c space in front of my house and came in to get my w/c to load into her car. It took her about fifteen minutes and when she went out to load her car my @#$%neighbor had called his friend who was a police officer and had my mother ticketed for parking in my parking space. The judge threw it out but it still was annoying that someone could be so mean. A lot of times people have to use handicapped parking and do so legally but don't APPEAR handicapped because their disability might be a medical condition that limits their endurance. I have seen folks like this be talked to very rudely by people who don't understand the person's disability.

 

[show 42]

Piel, I'm one of those people who has a handicap sign for my car due to a twenty year old hip injury that is getting progressively worse. It locks up at odd times and I can't walk. When my hip is okay, I never park in a handicap spot and usually don't anyway if there is other parking. I rarely use it, but because I'm not in a wheel chair, not using crutches or a cane, I get resentful looks from time to time when I do have to use it........42

 

[dizzydi]

Pet Peeves.....

Reading these posts made me think about an incident that happened back in 1970. At the time I was a newlywed, so it's before we had children. One of my husband's friends came to visit with their 2 year old daughter. We went to dinner at a family restaurant taking the 2 year old along. The parents of this child let her walk/run around the restaurant while we were eating, bothering other diners and just generally making a nuisance of herself. I remember being so embarassed about the parent's lack of control and concern. I remember mentioning this to my husband vowing I would never allow a child of mine to act in such a manner. Well I never did allow my children to display such rude, self-centered behavior.

However, I realize after reading these posts how commonplace this type of bad behavior has become in society. Children are, generally, rude, poorly behaved, self-centered little brats who run their parents. I find myself noticing more often when children are well behaved complimenting parents because good behavior is now the standout.

It's a sign of the times and a very sad one.

Dizzy

 

[Grgranny]

My daughter that works in a mental hospital says most of the people there were never told no when they were growing up and when adults couldn't handle life because of it.

I sure agree about the children in restaurants, theatres, etc. I cannot understand why people allow their children to act that way. Mine sure knew who was boss!

 

[JOHIO2]

Now that my kids are grown and my grandson is only 2 weeks old, I find my patience for screaming kids is fairly low. I very rarely have the opportunity to go out to eat - money and energy and health reasons - and when I do go out, I hate having my meal ruined by obnoxious brats running and yelling and just generally being disruptive.

I guess the irritation for us "older" people is, when we were younger, society (read, everyone) took responsibility for "correcting" children and seeing that they obeyed society's rules (as best they could. after all, they ARE kids.). If you did something "wrong" at one end of the street, everyone on the way home heard about it and scolded you as you went home. And you can bet your parents were the first ones called, so you knew what waited for you at home. My own parents told us that if we did something that needed punishing in school that we'd get more punishment at home.

Just try to object to a child's behavior now. If the kid doesn't get you, their parents will. And the law tends to take their side. You can't "discipline" someone else's child. And don't think that the children don't know that. All too many of them have no respect for ANYONE. I find that very sad. Not that I want people to randomly whack children on the street. I just want people who are obeying society's rules to get a little respect.

But I also remember having little choice but to take children along for various reasons. Who can afford a babsitter for the youngest every time the older children have an event or a practice or lesson or game? (who could even afford one -- that's nanny territory!) And what choice does mom have when she has the usual errands that seem to multiply in everyone's lives?

I expect running children at an outdoor concert in the park. I don't expect them at a dance concert as happened above. I don't expect them at weddings and yet I myself took my children to weddings. We just sat at the back and left when one acted up. My favorite wedding reception story happened when my sitter cancelled and I decided to take my year old daughter along to the reception. We were there just long enough to congratulate my friends and chat with a few people and cruise the buffet. The funny part of that story was, not one person complained about my daughter because most of them never even noticed she was there. The weird part was, neither the bride nor the groom even noticed until the photographer got their proofs to them! Maybe not so weird, 'cuz they were just a little preoccupied. My friends always bring that up when talking about children.

Oh well....

 

[show 42]

But I also remember having little choice but to take children along for various reasons. Who can afford a babsitter for the youngest every time the older children have an event or a practice or lesson or game? (who could even afford one -- that's nanny territory!) And what choice does mom have when she has the usual errands that seem to multiply in everyone's lives?

I totally agree Jo. I have no problem with parents taking their little ones to the bank, grocery store, post office, etc. (did that myself). These are trips you have to take.....you have to buy food, stamps, do the banking and so your little one has to tag along. What I object to are places that you DON'T have to go....like expensive restaurants, the movie theater, concerts, places such as these. Infants and toddlers and these places do not mix well.................42