The latest interview after CoR FS, as usual, I tried to be true to the nuance.
Taken from:
http://www.fsrussia.ru/news/1696-yu...oj-i-ispytyvayu-silnuyu-ustalost-sejchas.html
Q: Yulia, you've skated the short program better than the free because...
A: Because in the short I did all that I could and all that I couldn't too.
Q: There wasn't enough time to perfect the free to the automatism?
A: Time, too, and also because for the last several seasons I've been having problems with the second half of the free program, until we stripped it to two double axels and one toe loop. Today I was supposed to do a double axel, toe, tano lutz plus toe, toe loop again, loop, salchow. But I exhausted myself really hard, and also because of the mental problems everything went a bit wrong. Nevertheless, after I botched a lutz, I decided to try to fight for the double axel/triple toe loop cascade, but being tired I've made a technical mistake and only did a double.
Q: Was this kind of free program performance expected today?
A: Honestly, I expected that I wouldn't be able to do anything at all today, because I wasn't ready, not mentally, not at all. I was sitting in the hotel room before the free, and all I wanted to do was to cry and to run away from here. I must do something with the mental background of the free, because I develop such an anxiety that it's like I really don't know what to do and how. I don't even know myself what I'm scared of. I really can't understand it. Like, I am afraid of not doing it right, or letting everybody down. All of it at once.
Q: When did this develop?
A: It developed slowly. It first appeared during the olympic season, and since then I am struggling with it. Since I first started to compete after the olympic season, and then competition after competition - bad, bad, bad, more-or-less, bad, bad. Then I miss the second half of the season, and it starts all over again.
Q: Perhaps, you didn't do enough of the full practice skates for the free?
A: You know, when I skated in Moscow with Eteri Georgievna's group, we had the program skates every other day. A six minutes for the short, then the free... Everybody does this. So it's more of a psychological problem. But, there is a positive development too: that season and a half, I wasn't even close to skating both programs cleanly during the practice skates. No clean skates at all. All lacking two, three, five elements. Always. Every time. Of course, I couldn't expect a clean skate now. But during this season, during my time with Alexei Evgenievich, I managed to do two clean skates out of four. The first two were really hard because of all the readjustments of the elements in the programs. But the fact that I do clean practice skates now, really makes me happy.
Q: Tell me, how is the work going in Sochi? What is better now?
A: I cannot yet say what is better now or what is worse. But I feel better about it in my soul, that's for sure. I am really comfortable, I really want to do things. For the first time since the longest period, I actually fell in love with skating. Not only with watching it, but with doing it, with the work. I really can sit there, tired, in the weekend. Then mom calls: "well, what are you going to do?" And I like: "mom, I want to go practice". When did that happen last time?
Q: Did your mom come for the Nationals?
A: No, after the olympic season mom hasn't been involved with my skating. She helps to choose the music, the hairdo and the costumes. She is not involved with the rest of it.
Q: Who amoung your friends come to support you here?
A: To be honest, I don't know who came. Relatives didn't come for sure, because they are as anxious about it as my mom. I gather that some people from Yekaterinburg came to support me. I know that many fans from other cities came as well, especially to cheer for me. They met me, gave me gifts. I am insanely grateful for them. Yesterday they gave me a big holy icon as a gift, I'm especially thankful for that. It even has a whole instruction set with it. I didn't completely unpack it yet. There was an anointing oil, too, the myrrh. I was strongly touched by it all.
Q: Are you disappointed to not make it to the podium this time?
A: Honestly? After the last two seasons my goal was to be in the top ten, so I was incredibly happy after the short, and even more incredibly tired after today.
Q: What's next for you?
A: To rest a bit. After that, it's up to the coaches. I don't control the training process. I follow it.
Q: Where are you going to meet the New Year?
A: I had a childhood dream to go somewhere with the mountains for the New Year. To experience a Happy New Year mood.
Q: How about Krasnaya Polyana?
A: No, I get to go there every weekend. What's wonderful about Sochi, I learned how to walk. I moved mostly by car my entire life. And there, the sea and the mountains are within a five minute walk from you. I once said in an interview that I'd like to have a vacation in such a place. And now I get to actually live in one.
Q: Do you miss your friends?
A: I practically had no friends. As to the people I talked to, we write to each other on the internet. We keep in touch.
Q: Can you just walk around in Sochi, or do they recognize you like in Moscow?
A: A lot of people do. I can go to the store, and everybody will recognize me - people, cashiers, staff, on the rink, on the street. But it's great in Sochi. If you walk to the rink without hurry, it takes 30-40 minutes. So I can really walk around there. Anyway, it's just great here!