Crazy Future Predictions | Page 16 | Golden Skate

Crazy Future Predictions

A new television show emerges, "The Real Ice Skating Divas of Russia." Medvedeva, Radionova, Lipnitskaia, Tuktamysheva, Pogorilaya, Lenova, and Sotnikova all live together in a house in Moscow for the duration of the shoot. I for one would watch EVERY EPISODE!!
 
A new television show emerges, "The Real Ice Skating Divas of Russia." Medvedeva, Radionova, Lipnitskaia, Tuktamysheva, Pogorilaya, Lenova, and Sotnikova all live together in a house in Moscow for the duration of the shoot. I for one would watch EVERY EPISODE!!

You forgot about the "House Mother" The Queen of Russian Skating Diva's. Maria Butyrskaya...............:bow: I would break my TIVO recording every episode.
 
A new television show emerges, "The Real Ice Skating Divas of Russia." Medvedeva, Radionova, Lipnitskaia, Tuktamysheva, Pogorilaya, Lenova, and Sotnikova all live together in a house in Moscow for the duration of the shoot. I for one would watch EVERY EPISODE!!

Commentary by Tarasova?
 
Yep, wasn't thinking of retired skaters. She would make an awesome House Mother!

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OMG, yes!!

Tarasova would be Perfect! Yaaaaaassssss!!! ;) She could make surprise phone calls during the height of drama on the show........The RED PHONE rings and everyone freezes........It's the Tarasova Hot Line and they know that someone's being kicked off the show.
 
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Sponsors sponsor everything. Figure skaters fly first class only. Every event has it's own Red Carpet event and numerous afterparties. Nobody watches Game of thrones anymore. Everybody watches figure skating.

Sponsors become all the rage in figure skating and skaters start wearing their company sponsor names on their figure skating costumes like how soccer players do on their jerseys. People complain but the money is just too good.

Gracie switched her sponsor to Maybelline while Ashley stays with Covergirl and the Ashley-Gracie rivalry continues to heat up in the battle of the drugstore make up brands.

Elena Radionova has L'Oreal as her main sponsor because she's Worth It. Evgenia gets sponsored by TV Asahi, the TV station that airs Sailor Moon. Anna Pogorilaya is sponsored by Vogue and has a new photoshoot in every new issue.

Javier Fernandez gets sponsored by Real Madrid while Patrick Chan wears his Ice Wine's label, Yuzuru Hanyu gets sponsored by the parent company of Winnie the Pooh and from then on, all his skating costumes only incorporate the colours red and yellow. Jin Boyang gets sponsored by his favourite brand of chips and his costumes are very crinkly.

You forgot about the "House Mother" The Queen of Russian Skating Diva's. Maria Butyrskaya...............:bow: I would break my TIVO recording every episode.

It'll be a spin off show called Real Housewives of Figure Skating and we'll have skaters, coaches, choreographers on it like Tamara Moskvina, Irina Slutskaya, Shae-Lynn Bourne, Tanith Belbin, Kristi Yamaguchi and more:peace:
 
Sponsors become all the rage in figure skating and skaters start wearing their company sponsor names on their figure skating costumes like how soccer players do on their jerseys. People complain but the money is just too good.

Gracie switched her sponsor to Maybelline while Ashley stays with Covergirl and the Ashley-Gracie rivalry continues to heat up in the battle of the drugstore make up brands.

Elena Radionova has L'Oreal as her main sponsor because she's Worth It. Evgenia gets sponsored by TV Asahi, the TV station that airs Sailor Moon. Anna Pogorilaya is sponsored by Vogue and has a new photoshoot in every new issue.

Javier Fernandez gets sponsored by Real Madrid while Patrick Chan wears his Ice Wine's label, Yuzuru Hanyu gets sponsored by the parent company of Winnie the Pooh and from then on, all his skating costumes only incorporate the colours red and yellow. Jin Boyang gets sponsored by his favourite brand of chips and his costumes are very crinkly.



It'll be a spin off show called Real Housewives of Figure Skating and we'll have skaters, coaches, choreographers on it like Tamara Moskvina, Irina Slutskaya, Shae-Lynn Bourne, Tanith Belbin, Kristi Yamaguchi and more:peace:

I would looovvvveee to be the Andy Cohen of that series. First interview would be with Shae-Lynn Bourne..........."So, Shae-Lynn Darling"...."What was it like, being Married to Nikolai Morozov??" :dev3:
 
I write a bestselling trilogy of novels about ice dance set at a skating club based on WISA and Team WISA finds out about it because I mentioned them in the author's note. WISA coaches Novak & Kiliakov read it and leave a nice review of it on Amazon, and pass it on to their students. Lorraine McNamara retweets something about it. I fangirl incessantly.

I'm actually thinking about doing that. Maybe not so crazy! I feel like the "rising club dominates ice dance" WISA narrative would make a great novel.
 
After 2018 Olympics Ashley Wagner and Adam Rippon are invited to provide commentary on US TV post (other than Johnny and Tara), these two TV couples become instant rivals and audience is basically craving to watch every competition with their commentary. Forums are flooded with fans discussing commentary more than actual competitions. Then Johnny and Ashley launch their fashion lines and with all of that red carpet and fansion weeks, catwalks and catfights it all becomes even more complicated. Figure skating fans are on fire. ISU is shocked with the revenues, sponsors are drunk and happy.

In South Korea there is a new dorama hit- figure skating one. The part of Yuzuru Hanyu is played by Yoo Seung Ho. Fans fight whose smile is more beautiful- Yuzu or Seung Ho. Meanwhile Yuzu and Seung Ho become instant friends sharing games interest, they both have cats but nobody knows it. Yuzu calls his cat a Ho-ho and Seung Ho calls his cat a Zuzu.:biggrin:

Javier Fernandez becomes an actor. In Spain they do a remake of The Godfather and Javier Fernandez is invited to play the main part. Eventually, he gets an Oscar.;)
 
You forgot about the "House Mother" The Queen of Russian Skating Diva's. Maria Butyrskaya...............:bow: I would break my TIVO recording every episode.

oh come on mrrice you would break your TIVO if Maria was doing a show called WASHING DISHES WITH MARIA B LOL
 
Several federations adopt the National Team Camp system that USA Gymnastics uses. It does wonders to improve skaters' consistency, and many adorable selfies surface.

All is well until Didier manages to weasel his way into a position as the head of the system. :p
 
Yulia gets her jumps back and starts an epic rivalry with everything Camp Eteri. It starts with Evgenia, with each girl winning all of their events except when up against one another; they tend to trade off very, very close victories.

2017-2018 season begins and Evgenia is beat by Polina Edmunds at Skate America. She's losing her jumps; the puberty monster strikes another Russian lady. Yulia can feel Olympic gold within her grasp. She wins her two GP events easily, but the forums in Russia and elsewhere are abuzz with murmuring about Polina Tsurskaya: Russian wunderkind with a tragic, tear-inducing LP using the music of Anastasia to tell the story of the real Anastasia who was murdered young. There's a symbolic spot of red on her dress to represent it.

Yulia's win at Russian Nationals is narrow, her win at European Championships even narrower--she even loses the LP to Tsurskaya. When the Russian fed decides to have Tsurskaya skate the LP in the team event, Yulia can't decide if she's upset or relieved. Probably a bit of both. She'll skate better in the real event with less pressure in the team event. Maybe the publicity will get to the "little girl in the red-spotted coat"; Yulia remembers what that's like. But then again, maybe Eteri has learned her lesson after four years, and she's started forging her girls in steel.

This got out of hand.
 
^^^ :laugh2:
My "2018":

Going into the Olympic season, everyone is looking at Evgenia Medvedeva, a two-time world champion, and her compatriots Polina Tsurskaya, Alisa Fedichkina, and Maria Sotskova, as well as Satoko Miyahara, Wakaba Higuchi, and maybe one or two headcasey Americans. People expect great things from each of the Russian wunderkinds, all of whom have developed very different styles that cause many forum fights over which skater's artistry is superior.

Evgenia has become a very classical skater and only skates to ballet music; her "Don Quixote" FS is one of the most widely-acclaimed programs in recent years, but pundits attack it with claims of "cookie-cutter" choreography that brings nothing original. Polina's speed, amplitude and long limbs make her great at the Latin programs she loves to perform-her "La Leyenda Del Beso" SP never fails to get the crowd on its feet. Alisa's lyrical sweetness and charm melt hearts worldwide when she performs her "Sound of Music" free skate, making her the obligatory cute-artistic-teenage-Russian of 2018. (Pause: can't you totally see her doing that in real life? :laugh:) And Maria Sotskova's sassy "Chicago" short program successfully differentiates her from the horde of 15-year-olds vying for the Olympic spots.

But there are non-Russians who have a chance, too: medal contender Higuchi's well-liked free skate to a medley of Shostakovich symphonies (if you haven't heard any of them, think totally bombastic) has landed her a GPF Bronze, and Satoko Miyahara's elegant, subtle interpretation of "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini" is a fan favorite (GS Members with small children claim that the wonderfully relaxing SP is the only thing that will get their kids to stop crying). And the American headcases-Gracie Gold with her suitably flaily and frantic yet polished Danse Macabre FS, and Ashley Wagner with a jazz program (not sure what piece) that only she could pull off.

But no Olympic season would be complete without underdogs rising from the depths to do exceptionally well: Elena Radionova with her totally unrefined yet undeniably entertaining "Rhapsody in Blue", and-shocker of shockers-a significantly improved Emily Chan, now possessing all her triples and a fabulous 3F-3T, as well as a fantastic "Oblivion Tango" free skate.

The teams:

Russia: Medvedeva, Radionova, Fedichkina (everyone else falls at least twice due to a rut in the ice-the three qualifiers benefit greatly from an ice resurfacing right before their group)

Japan: Miyahara, Higuchi, Asada

#Merica: Gold, Wagner, Chan

Canada: Osmond, Daleman

China: Li, a very new senior who always looks terrified before she competes

South Korea: Park, Choi

Olympic results:
Since every Olympics must kill a Russian teenager's dream to keep its life forces and whatnot balanced, Alisa Fedichkina winds up 8th. Everyone but Satoko falls due to bad ice, so she wins. Gracie, shockingly, is the next-closest to clean, as she only falls once, lands all her combos in both programs, and hits her spin/step levels. She places 2nd. Evgenia counts two falls (both on 2As) but rides on her 'tano advantage to place 3rd. Higuchi and Radionova tie exactly for 4th and it cannot be broken. As a joke, they perform an exhibition together to commemorate their "honorary shared pewters". Emily Chan places 5th. Wagner is 6th. So-Youn Park is 7th-Korea rejoices. In a twist of irony, she barely outscores Russian darling Alisa Fedichkina. Mao Asada, finishing in 9th, retires to become a choreographer, graciously accepts her fate in a viral interview with an iconic quote: "I didn't fall. I gave the ice a hug-it seemed like it needed one, seeing how it treated everybody."

Meanwhile, the Mishin's Lizas-Nugumanova, too young to go, and Tuktamysheva, who didn't qualify-watch their compatriots splat and hatch a plan...
 
Mao Asada, finishing in 9th, retires to become a choreographer, graciously accepts her fate in a viral interview with an iconic quote: "I didn't fall. I gave the ice a hug-it seemed like it needed one, seeing how it treated everybody."
:rofl::laugh2::yes2: That is exactly what I've been constantly thinking about during the last couple of days, I have no idea why. They don't fall for no reason. They hug the poor ice.
 
During the 2016-2017 a new warhorse emerges on the ice: Game of Thrones OST. This music fashion strangely pickes out only one single field- Ladies. Girls bleach their hair, wear all sorts of blue with natural leather dresses and skate Mother of Dragons programs one by one. Judges can't possibly judge the competition as a figure skating one anymore and simply pick the most gorgeous skater as if it was a beauty pageant. Winner is crowned and is provided an Iron Throne instead of a podium.
 
The ISU makes an interesting proposition: in addition to the seeded skaters' and federations' preferences, a fan vote will be partially used to choose which skaters get which GPs. When the fans who are angry that So-Youn didn't win the TCC vote get ahold of the polls, they try to use bots to get her into every event. So-Youn likes this idea (more opportunities to competite, more chances to medal, and more prize money), so the ISU reluctantly agrees to let skaters take more than two GPs, on the condition that only the two highest-scoring events for each skater count. Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Elizabet Tursynbaeva skate at every event. Frank Carroll makes his skaters skate in four events to try to toughen up their mental game; Denis does one and then mysteriously gets hurt and withdraws from the rest, and Gracie headcases two events and slays the other ones. Evgenia and Yuzuru set five consecutive world records each at their events. Yulia Lipnitskaya regains her consistency in her first event, only for it to disappear by her third one. Since this is already very whack anyway, Polina Tsurskaya petitions to compete even though she's underage-and the request is accepted. Marin Honda follows suit and is also accepted. Maria Sotskova surprises fans by making the GPF, despite only doing the minimum two events. Adelina Sotnikova still only does one event. McNamara/Carpenter do four events and make the GPF. All the Russian teams but Ruslena, Shpilevaya/Smirnov, and Loboda/Drozd split up, so the juniors have to move up to fill quotas. Abachkina/Thauron's five events give fans much time to speculate over why their ISU bio has suddenly been updated with the dubious information that they are engaged. Virtue/Moir skate in every event, finally win the GPF, and retire thereafter. There are still not enough dance spots.

Pairs is relatively uneventful.
 
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Gold goes to a skater not from the USA, Russia, or Japan.

Not likely, but it could happen...
 
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