Today I listened to a song again I had constantly listened to during the Olympics. No idea if you know that feeling when suddenly all the memories connect to a certain song and you remember speficially where and when and under which circumstances you listened to it but that‘s what happened for me. And it was kind off a huge shock because I was actually overwhelmed with emotions. (Not just because of the Olympics but because of other things that happened in my life, too)
And that‘s why I rewatched Zhenya‘s and Alina‘s programs again. And as expected, I was still dying with her as Anna Karenina and crying with her in the K&C. But after seeing the scores coming up again and the 2 next to her name and being upset (yes, I still am. :laugh) about it for a while, I actually thought about how the situation‘s now for her. I imagined her sitting in Canada with Jason in the evening, making him try Russian drinks or training on the ice with Brian and David, concentratedly working on her new programs for the season. And I realised that maybe, maybe, the loss might have been for the better. Like, obviously it‘s not good that she lost and it‘s heartbreaking and it was her dream but well... maybe sometimes in life not all dreams work out the way we want them to but as we lose them, we find new possibilities. And I think that‘s what happened here. I don‘t know whether Zhenya would have moved to Canada with the Olympic Gold and we can‘t speculate about that because it‘s not what happened and we‘ll probably never know but what I do know that this silver lead a way to a new country, new international friendships and a new perspective. So yeah. I‘m still sad she didn‘t win Gold in Pyeongchang. But somehow I think I fully accept it now as the way it seems it was supposed to be. For whatever reasons.
And actually, I also thought about something else. Don‘t you think Orser is the perfect coach for her, not only because of his excellence but also because of his own losses? I think we all know he lost the Battle of the Brians. He‘s a two times Olympic Silver Medalist. He never won the Gold. It likely took him quite a lot of years to somehow accept it. But for him it also lead to grand experiences. Yuna Kim, Yuzuru Hanyu, Javier Fernandez, Gabby Daleman. He has coached 4 athletes to 5 Olympic Medals, four of them Gold, one Bronze. (Gabby‘s was in the team event and he‘s not her primary coach but I suppose that counts, too) Do you think that would have happened had he won against Boitano? Maybe, maybe not. But his loss let him find a new path in life. I think that can be both a help and an inspiration for Zhenya to have somebody like him around. Because he‘s probably one of the only ones that if he‘s telling her: ”I know what it feels like“ it‘s really true. He had a taste at the Gold but never fully got it. Just like her. Both had entered the Games as the favourites. Both had lost by a tiny, tiny margin. I only ever focused on the obvious things like yaay, Brian‘s gonna fix her flutz and her SS are going to be supreme and her programs and everything... that this never occured to me. I think this could be very, very comforting for her mental health and help her keep the outstanding mental strength she has to keep going.
(And I‘m getting over-emotional again. Excuse me, I can‘t stop myself from writing literal novels when this happens.

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