Seeing Shoma live has been on my bucket list since 2014. I noticed his gift when he was a junior. When you have watched figure skating long enough, you just know instantly he is rare and special. However, at the time, I had to restrain myself and to deliberately not follow him because I was afraid of being heartbroken. I have invested in so many artistic types over the years and know how things could end, especially witnessing what direction ISU has been pushing for the past 10 years. Fortunately, when he conquered the 3A and 4T around 2013-2014 and consistently demonstrated what a great athlete he was, I felt like a “miracle” happened. I officially allowed myself to be his fan.
At the time, I didn’t feel too eager that he needed to win world titles. I was just glad that he was competitive enough that I could see his programs grow over time and his art evolve. Even now, I still consider his world titles just “icing on the cake”. It is more profound to me that Shoma has played a vital role in preserving and promoting the essence of this sport. He embodies skating and transmits music from within. The repositories he built over the years transcend the competition itself. Why do we watch sports? Is it really about who is first? Perhaps on the surface. Deep down, it is so much more. The competition just creates a reason for skaters to gather and gives motivation to perform. Ultimately, it showcases human talent, enables us to get in touch with the ineffable, reach the unknown, push for the beyond…
I have been a lurker on this forum for quite a while. The thread for Shoma is over 1000 pages long and I have read every single page of it. I appreciate everything you guys shared. I especially enjoy practice photos and videos. Seeing him from a different angle and often up close, makes me want to see his skating in person - to immerse myself in the generosity and expensiveness of the ice, to feel the rise and fall, to be locked into the music and experience awe.
After last year’s world, I got the vibe that Shoma might be nearing the end of his competitive career. I surely hope I am wrong. Selfishly, I want him to continue for a few more years, because I, like many, simply want to see him. Maybe he will skate more. But I can’t take any risks at this point. Each competition might be the last. Despite the challenging logistics (I can’t go away for more than 2 nights), I was determined to see him this year. It is now or never. Luckily, I am based in Hong Kong at the moment. It is doable. So I first flew to Chongqing to see Cup of China. I could only stay for his short program and didn’t get to see the long. Then I got the ticket to see his free skate in Beijing. It took me two trips and lots of planning to execute the plan. It was worth it!
When I saw his short program at COC, I realized that the whole time I had a slight smile on my face. I completely forgot the music. It was ambient. I only remember that I felt everything was going to be okay. I was at peace. I sensed love from his being and what surrounds him. It was almost like a religious/spiritual experience. I had no concrete memory of what he did. The whole thing was just like touching a piece of silk or soaking in the hot tub or something. I couldn’t even think of an image to describe it. It was engaging different parts of my senses. I was so focused on his skating and for those brief 3 minutes, there was a blurred line between me and this physical world. I cried when I got back to my hotel. I called my husband to tell him that I love him and I love my family. I love this world. Humans are amazing. Yes, I literally said those things.
Then, NHK made things sour and left a bad taste. I watched it on YouTube. Shoma’s free was sublime. I thought it was going to be record-breaking. He was showing his best. I had no doubt he was going to win. It was not even a question about it. Then I saw the score. What a rug-pulled-under-my-feet kind of betrayal! They wanted him to bow out and make space for the youngsters. I mean, this “operation” ISU does, is not new. When Shoma first came onto the scene, ISU was pushing for more varieties of quads. At the time, they had no problem with his flip. Now the wind has shifted, suddenly they picked on his rotations. This story is an old one. It has happened to other skaters, too. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that it feels cruel and unjust. However, after calming down, I hoped that Shoma didn’t let any of this get into him because ISU politicking is just the byproduct of having a human organization (I am not even cynical about this. It is just what our fellow humans do. I understand). ISU guys answer to the temporal because they are the quintessential bureaucrats. Shoma, on the other hand, answers to the eternal.
I sat at the Grand Prix final, praying for Shoma to deliver a good performance. I didn’t know what to expect. The atmosphere wasn’t too friendly toward him. Let me explain. When Shoma was a junior, he was competing with Boyang Jin from China. Naturally, lots of Chinese see him through Boyang’s lens as his rival. Shoma thus didn’t have popularity on the internet over there. But I know he has a lot of Chinese fans (almost secretly) because you could see from the banners and hear from the cheers. Now back to the free skate. I don’t know if the camera captured it, but Shoma did a beautiful triple axel immediately after the warm-up started. In fact, I saw him having great warm-ups in both COC and at the Final. He looked in top shape more than ever. When it was time for him to skate, I was way more nervous for him than I was at COC. Again, I really wish NHK didn’t happen so that I could have the same mentality of going in to just enjoy his skate like I did at COC. But I am only human. And I am angry - they know there is nothing he can do at this point. They ensured his fate was inescapable. Forgive me but I couldn’t just enjoy his skate at this point. These are the chatters in my mind: I want him to go high when they go low! I want him to nail it and make history! I want him to be breathtakingly beautiful! I want him to inspire, lead and show the world his indomitable human spirit!
I got so worked up right before his skate. Thanks god, his skating started and sent me calmness. I was traveling through time and space with him in a different plain till he did the 3A-1Eu-3F. I knew it was coming. It was in his eyes. It’s not just me. Everyone knew. We all held our breath for it. Bang! There, done. It’s an intense moment going from ethereal to earthly. Yes, he is a remarkable competitor, too at the end of the day. The whole free program was a total download of Shoma, the Shoma experience. It was a perfect skate for me, perfect in the “kintsugi” way.
Oh, well. This is my long-winded answer to
@Arriba627 about sharing more about my experience watching the Grand Prix final live.