Crazy Future Predictions

[Skater Boy]

Oops I was looking in my clouded crystal ball and I saw Nikolai Morosov marrying, gulp, an older woman - Tarasova! Bahahahahaha!

 

[randomfan]

Everyone here is hilarious! I don't think my predictions would be as funny... Uh, we're also allowed to say things kind of outside of skating, right? In that case...

When Gracie Gold retires from competitive skating, she'll join Carly Gold to form a music trio with Taylor Swift.

Other ones to add:

TSL interviews Tara Lipinski (I'd be shocked if this actually happened).

Yuzuru gives up on Winnie the Pooh. :shock:

So Youn skates to Hip Hip Chin Chin/Riverdance with legendary skating skills.

Shoma and Satoko do pairs or ice dance together.

KSU finally supports their skaters and builds a rink dedicated to them! (would be a dream come true)

 

[Hyena]

Oops I was looking in my clouded crystal ball and I saw Nikolai Morosov marrying, gulp, an older woman - Tarasova! Bahahahahaha!

Ahahaha, I was going to predict this exact. same. thing.

Okay crazy predictions (didn't say they had to be genuine).
8. Gracie and Carly Gold end up in a cat fight on ice. They duke it out in a flying camel war (ala Dube and Davison) but accidentally cut off Jason Brown's ponytail

An extension: Turns out Jason is a reverse-Samson and enters the 2016-2017 season with the best speed and biggest jumps of the entire men's field. He quickly starts landing not only the 4T but the 4S, 4loop, 4lutz and 4flip with ease. But he doesn't win Worlds, because strangely, he starts getting basic level spins.

 

[theskatingbutterfly]

Gracie Gold switches coaches. She ends up with Rafael. Because Ashley and Gracie are now training mates, NBC starts a reality show called
"Gracie and Ashley: Cat Fight for the Crown". But the show is cancelled after 1 season because Ashley and Gracie were too nice to each other.
Julia Lipnitskaia also moves the Rafael. Again NBC tries another show, but again, all 3 girls are too friendly with each other and it's cancelled.


Meanwhile Michelle and Sasha are still fighting while commentating on NBC.

THIS ONE IS THE CRAZIEST OF ALL:
U.S. pairs show up to the Grand Prix not only with consistency, but high technical content AND chemistry, good skating skills and expression.

 

[Skater Boy]

Ahahaha, I was going to predict this exact. same. thing.



An extension: Turns out Jason is a reverse-Samson and enters the 2016-2017 season with the best speed and biggest jumps of the entire men's field. He quickly starts landing not only the 4T but the 4S, 4loop, 4lutz and 4flip with ease. But he doesn't win Worlds, because strangely, he starts getting basic level spins.

Ah so the pony was getting in the way of those quads! So that's the problem

 

[WeakAnkles]

At the 2018 Olympics the American skaters are caught with NASA-made electric engines in their boots, after widespread suspicion when Gracie Gold starts consistently landing quad Axels in practice (and, tbh, gets an endorsement deal and tells Taylor Swift who tweets it). The Russians, being an industrious people with no patience for unnecessarily complicated and expensive contraptions, are instead revealed with springs mounted between the blades and boots. Having been developed by Anna Pogorilaya who recently completed her degree in mechanical engineering at the MSU, they are trademarked "Anna Pogo-Sticks". The ISU are at a loss, as no one would watch figure skating if the Americans and Russians were banned from competition and the feds withdrew their support. However, the Japanese fed is thrilled, until they too are caught using remote controlled robotic skates that play a tinny melody when you skate, have several different jump and spin settings, an AI personal assistent and a small jet of water for instant ice resurfacing. So Youn Park wins the gold medal with a home field PCS boost (despite three falls), Maé Bérénice Méité captures the silver (despite a 3A and two 3-3 combos in the second half), and yours truly sees her dream podium shattered when Shoma in a wig beats Zijun for the bronze.

I Believe Every Single Word Of This Is Either True Already Or Soon Will Be.

I do! I do! I do!



Inspired!

 

[ellyr]

Denis Ten peaks for the 2018 Olympics and wins gold with the two most technically and artistically astonishing programs ever seen. He is immediately accused of waging a cunning long-term psychological campaign against Yuzuru Hanyu, who also skated cleanly, but could not overtake Ten. The skating-net turns into an all out war of Ten fans vs. Hanyu fans. The men themselves become BFFs and travel the globe doing ice shows together.

Javier Fernandez is once again edged out for bronze, this time by Mikhail Kolyada. This is perhaps much more shocking, but everyone is too engrossed by Hanyu/Ten drama to comment on it.

 

[pherx4]

Javier marries Miki Ando and become a dual citizen with Spain and Japan. Javier decides to represent Japan and after defeating all the top Japanese male skaters, the skating world and Japanese fans and media goes crazy!

MAC decides to start a lipstick line after the ladies skaters to promote the 2018 Olympics. The top sellers are Gracie Gold and Ashley Wagner. Kylie Jenner tweet/instagram Gracie and Ashley about wearing their lipsticks and figure skating popularity soar. Gracie and Ashley freak out and their lipsticks sell out making them lots of $$$.

The team event at the 2018 Olympic decides to format itself like the Team Challenge Cup, therefore Yuna Kim decides to pull a “Plushenko” and skate for the team event with all the scores combined to win a second gold medal in her home country and then drops out to let SoYoun Park skate the individual event.

Japan creates a new hit Anime which stars Yuzuru and Evgenia Medvedeva. Winnie the Pooh and Sailor moon will guest star. We can all stream it for free online with Russian and English subtitles. Yuruzu will sing the opening theme song.

The ISU allows skaters to compete in more than one discipline and Shoma Uno and Satoko Miyahara are the first to win all men, ladies, pairs and ice dancing in one competition. They are however challenged by Ashley Wagner and Adam Rippon.

Rafael Arutyunyan starts a gofundme page and gets his own rink in the US. All the other coaches and athletes think he is a genius and flood the internet with gofundme pages. The gofundme website crashes.

 

[Layback11]

Like it did in 2015, the 2017 ladies podium at US nationals consists of the 2014 senior, junior and novice champions in that order - Gracie Gold, Amber Glenn and Vivian Le. Layback11 has a fangirl freakout and constantly gushes so annoyingly that the mods put her on probation.

Despite the epic performances of Vivian and Amber and the epic meltdowns of Ashley and Polina, they put them on the world team ahead of the medalists.

Polina withdraws from 4CC due to a catastrophically bad haircut, and Ashley withdraws to focus on worlds as always. Amber and Vivian are subbed in. They do so well that the USFSA decides to reverse its decision and put them on the world team. Everyone explodes. The Dallas FSC rejoices.

Vivian Le accidentally jumps into the stands on a 3Lz at 4CC. Polina Tskurskaya, not wanting to be outdone, does the same at junior worlds. Soon, all the skaters with huge lutzes are jumping into the stands as a kind of "status symbol" of having a great 3Lz.

 

[Violet Bliss]

An extension: Turns out Jason is a reverse-Samson and enters the 2016-2017 season with the best speed and biggest jumps of the entire men's field. He quickly starts landing not only the 4T but the 4S, 4loop, 4lutz and 4flip with ease.

I guess I wouldn't see him rock his pony tail like Miki then.

From Miki Ando thread:

http://i801.photobucket.com/albums/yy291/lynnanderson/id727.gif

Take that Jason Brown. That's how you rock a pony tail!

But he doesn't win Worlds, because strangely, he starts getting basic level spins.

With all those quads, he wouldn't need any of them stinking spins.

 

[mrrice]

This is not a prediction, it's more of a wish of mine. When I was touring, I was often away from my partner for months at a time. I would always listen to "Right Here Waiting For You" By Richard Marx. I'd love to see Miki and Javi skate to this song because I think the words might have real meaning for them. In fact, it might have real meaning for lots of skaters.

Right Here Waiting" By Richard Marx: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_E2EHVxNAE

 

[Violet Bliss]

This is not a prediction, it's more of wish of mine. When I was touring, I was often away from my partner for months at a time. I would always listen to "Right Here Waiting For You" By Richard Marx. I'd love to see Miki and Javi skate to this song because I think the words might have real meaning for them. In fact, it might have real meaning for lots of skaters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_E2EHVxNAE

People have it good these days with email, mobile phones, social media, and especially Skype. And performing stars can be seen on TV, live streams, U-Tube and other videos. But nothing but real togetherness suffices for lovers.

 

[Bonesfan]

SAME SEX PAIRS IS ALLOWED STARTING 2017-18 SEASON

Denis Ten and Yuzuru Hanyu pair up, but have trouble during practices. They can't agree on who gets to be the "girl"
Denis "I'm shorter"
Yuzu "I'm thinner"

To stop the bickering, Patrick Chan says "I WILL be the man". He skates in different competitions alternating with Ten and Hanyu. Ten and Patrick have some tussles about music; Patrick and Yuzuru can't agree on the amount of bling on costumes.

Javier Fernandez is heartbroken that his skating wife (Hanyu) has paired up with Ten. He invites Shoma Uno, who has been feeling left out from the "big boys".

Just before the Olympics, Canadian scientists discover the secret to Human Cloning. They ask Patrick Chan to be their test subject and off to the lab they go. Two Patricks emerge, but the cloning was not perfect. One is the 17 year old Patrick and the other 27 years old. Remarkably, they seem to agree on music, costumes, everything!

OYMPICS
Javi and Shoma skate to a mish-mash of bombastic opera music and show tunes. All is going well until Javi ZAYAKS yet again. Shoma begins to cry while still skating but they redeem themselves in their final move. Shoma cantilevers across the ice with Javi balanced on top!

Yuzuru and Denis manage to get through practices. They finally agree to trade off being the "girl" and alternate being thrown. In the Kiss & Cry, Ten holds a Teddy Bear dressed in his same outfit; Hanyu of course has Pooh. Judges are impressed with their innovation and they move into first, just in front of Javi/Shoma.

Patrick and Patrick skate spectacularly. Judges in particular note how "in sync" they are. Patrick and Patrick win Olympic gold, breaking the Canadian curse. GS forum implodes, the Earth is sucked into a black hole.

The end.

 

[mrrice]

I never paid much attention to Nathan Chen until Nationals this year and he reminds me very much of Emanuel Sandhu from Canada. I wonder if he would consider skating to "Smooth Operator" By Sade. I have never been a fan of a male skater using a lady for the vocals. However, Sade has a very deep voice and the song is so cool, that it might work.

Smooth Operator: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TYv2PhG89A

 

[Rissa]

The Barcelona GPF announcer announces skaters at the 2018 Olympics.

Loool, don't we wish? It's that guy's life calling, he must have been created specifically by God to serve as an ideal of figure skating announcer.

 

[slider11]

Okay crazy predictions (didn't say they had to be genuine).

10. Maria Butyrskaya leaves her hockey player husband for mrrice. They get married and fight over who gets to wear Vera Wang.

9. Plushy doesn't come out of retirement to skate competitively again.

8. Gracie and Carly Gold end up in a cat fight on ice. They duke it out in a flying camel war (ala Dube and Davison) but accidentally cut off Jason Brown's ponytail.

7. There is a world shortage on sequins and Johnny Weir is charged with theft as he panics ad starts stealing all the glittering beads he can find.

6. Denis Ten and Yuruzu Hanyu decide to take their differences out on the ice by fighting. Feathers, bugle beads and sequins are flying all over the place. Johnny Weir is seen picking up all the loss pieces.

5. Patrick Chan haters realize he does have some redeeming qualities; world peace is declared.

4. Kavaguti comes back as the six billion dollar woman with body parts that keep on ticking while taking a licking

3. Adam Rippon and Ashley Wagner get married. Ashley carries Adam over the threshold.

2. Brian Orser tries to comfort Nam who is struggling with his growth spurt by giving him Hanyu's Winnie the Pooh. Javier tries to steal Pooh back. Tonya Harding is contacted. Pooh ends up beheaded. Hanyu and Nam cry.

1. Everyone on Golden Skate Forums gets along and there is world peace where there is enough points, sequins, feathers and spandex for all!!!

Cute! How about excellent spins and step sequences get as much point value as some "hurl myself in the air and hope for the best" jump!

 

[mrrice]

you rock - I thought I was the only one who liked Maria's skating. Though I preferred her with long hair On a side note you do know that Vera Wang has some very cool tuxes right???

I do, in fact, her commercials are quite popular as we speak here in Clovis Ca.

Black, by Vera Wang. I was expecting to see Evan in the commercial since he's quite tall. Aren't they still together? Were they ever together? There was a big rumor about them a while ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnGLthdP1GY

 

[cheerknithanson]

Loool, don't we wish? It's that guy's life calling, he must have been created specifically by God to serve as an ideal of figure skating announcer.

Agreed. Hands down. He's like Ted Barton...I mean in terms that we love Ted Barton commentating. And we love the GPF host for Barcelona.

 

[mrrice]

SAME SEX PAIRS IS ALLOWED STARTING 2017-18 SEASON

Denis Ten and Yuzuru Hanyu pair up, but have trouble during practices. They can't agree on who gets to be the "girl"
Denis "I'm shorter"
Yuzu "I'm thinner"

To stop the bickering, Patrick Chan says "I WILL be the man". He skates in different competitions alternating with Ten and Hanyu. Ten and Patrick have some tussles about music; Patrick and Yuzuru can't agree on the amount of bling on costumes.

Javier Fernandez is heartbroken that his skating wife (Hanyu) has paired up with Ten. He invites Shoma Uno, who has been feeling left out from the "big boys".

Just before the Olympics, Canadian scientists discover the secret to Human Cloning. They ask Patrick Chan to be their test subject and off to the lab they go. Two Patricks emerge, but the cloning was not perfect. One is the 17 year old Patrick and the other 27 years old. Remarkably, they seem to agree on music, costumes, everything!

OYMPICS
Javi and Shoma skate to a mish-mash of bombastic opera music and show tunes. All is going well until Javi ZAYAKS yet again. Shoma begins to cry while still skating but they redeem themselves in their final move. Shoma cantilevers across the ice with Javi balanced on top!

Yuzuru and Denis manage to get through practices. They finally agree to trade off being the "girl" and alternate being thrown. In the Kiss & Cry, Ten holds a Teddy Bear dressed in his same outfit; Hanyu of course has Pooh. Judges are impressed with their innovation and they move into first, just in front of Javi/Shoma.

Patrick and Patrick skate spectacularly. Judges in particular note how "in sync" they are. Patrick and Patrick win Olympic gold, breaking the Canadian curse. GS forum implodes, the Earth is sucked into a black hole.

The end.

If two Canadian men ever skated together it would have to be Patrick and Jeffery Buttle.

 

[mrrice]

From Noskates,
First time I've laughed out loud all day. Can I be invited to wedding mrrice?

Absolutely!!!! I'll send out a group invitation to every member of GS.