- Joined
- Dec 9, 2019
Regarding the experience that gives anything performing as long as the child is eager to succeed and anxious they may not, I would say that it's invaluable in oral exams, and no mock oral exam can make up for it, even with the best help from mock-oral-examinators (khôlleurs). I don't know if there are many in North American typical higher education, in any case I'm sure that professional life brings some such situations, but in France it's the general case in most demanding ways of studying. If you had your first and only attack of panic while on stage at 5, 6 or maybe 7, if you know that you can have a little slip (often costly) but cannot, in any case, let yourself go into panic or inattention, you still have to perform something very demanding, sometimes in spite of outside perturbation; when, a decade or more later, you're confronted to an oral examination or any similar situation, and know that you can have a little "well... herr..." here or there which you've never had been allowed in your performing experience, you become the attentive yet relaxed and responsive candidate all juries are dreaming of, instead of the shivering, sweating candidate on the verge of fainting which they often get; and, yes, it's expecting a return on investment, but this return on investment is part of what we may call adult life preparedness and it's also a part of what parents have to do.and then, there are the summer festivals/master classes, the competition fees, the clothing (not as expensive of course as figure skating costumes but my first real tux, a million years ago cost me 800 dollars (custom made so I have room in the shoulders to play but well adjusted everywhere else because you need to look good) and it never ends...
the other issues for young musicians is that they need to practice. Those who can afford it do not need to work part-time or take summer jobs. But when you have to work to fund your studies, you also end up not having as much time to practice so you are constantly feeling behind or constantly working = no social life.
Also, let's not forget the price of instrumentsThe better you are, the more expensive it gets.
So yeah. trust me. My parents did what they could. I did the rest by myself (and was lucky enough to win a lot of scholarships and prizes) but in the end, my parents never thought this would be my career and would have preferred I did something much more stable.
Lucky for me, the time I was interested in girls never came LOL...and my passion was strong enough to keep going when it became harder and harder. But yeah, in my field, and also with the people I met from sports ( I was a swimmer too) the parents who are hardcore pushy because they want "return on their money or prestige" is not even 1 per cent. Also, in all my friends and colleagues from youth, I am the only one still making it a career. That's a lot of people who are doing other things now and are happy, and have children doing music... not for the glamour but because it's such a wonderful life experience for children. It gives so much more than money and prestige. Discipline and perseverance, a sense of achievement, pride, all the experiences from studying abroad (musicians do like skaters and find mentors all over the world), etc. I wouldn't change my life at all... Sacrifices, still today, because of the atypical schedules and very very long hours of work... but yeah, I am happy. My parents are happy though still would prefer it if I were a physician or an engineer
So, from my experience, whether it is sports, arts, performing arts, anything like that, most parents still see it as extra-curricular activities... and are willing to pay more and more and more as much as they can, while their kids who started out just for fun develop into the elite. They keep paying because they see how happy their children are. Not because they want their kids to bring home a medal... In the end, I'd say that many parents would prefer that their kids pursue more secure options. So it's never seen or almost never seen as a way to get a return on investment or glamour or prestige or to boost a CV for college applications. I am certainly not saying that there are no parents at all who see things like that. I am saying that it's very minor.
Other people may have different experiences and that's fine with me. Mine was certainly not about money and prestige.
Please excuse me for this completely out-of-topic digression.
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These examples of an element earning a negative score show why we should not mix multiplicative factors with additive terms willy-nilly in a scoring system
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. In principle a skater could earn more points (0) by staying home in bed than by participating in a skating contest.