RGirl
Now that I have been outed as a malingering psychotic I guess it's safe to tell.......the rest of the story......
I lied about having vasculitis so my doctor would put me on prednisone. But, my intentions were honorable. Last fall ,when I saw how well Irina skated on prednisone
and how my favorite poor Shelly :boohoo: was injured because she was a lazy, greedy, witch trying to avoid the COP a PLAN appeared to me in a dream from the skate gods
. The skate gods
told me that to save U.S. ladies figure skating I must sacrifice myself and skate in Shelly's place at the Olympics. While I would do anything to help poor Shelly (and of course USFS)I doubted my ability to do this. The skate gods
assured me they would provide me with everything I would need to pull off a deception that would make Marie Reine Le Gougne, Yuri Balkov, and even Jeff Gillooly proud. Team "Gold for Shelly" was formed. The team consisted of my skating coach RGirl Arturian (now you know... the R stands for Raphaella), choreographer RGal Tarasova-Nichols, costume designer Doggygirl Wang, agent Mathman 44.4% Goldberg, publicist RavenNRant Brennan, personal trainer and masage therapist Johnny Zimmerman
, photographer Tonichelle Mittan, and the president of my non-fan club Red Dog. With the team in place it was up to me to convince the doctor that I had vasculitis so I could get my hands on that prednisone. I needed to find just the right doctor. Eveyone knows how word of mouth is the best advertising so when I heard about Dr. Anythingfora "Buck" Gropesarefreeov I knew I was in luck. He was Russian, the house doctor for a local strip club, worked out of his basement, had only had his medical license revoked twice, and would take either Vodka or a lap dance instead of payment. Wearing a little red dress that would make an ice dancer blush I showed up for my appointment (that he only sees patients after 10 pm was another plus:agree: ). After filling out the medical history (substituting information from Irina's medical records) it was time for the dreaded physical exam. Being a compassionate man Dr."Buck" saw what distress I was in
and assured me that a doctor with his abilities could diagnose anything with just a few simple tests. First he would need to evealuate how the vasculitis had effected my flexibility. To do this he asked me to attempt the BC (yes, he is a Sashafan)and Charlotte positions. Next he asked me to do a few shimmies to " Bootyliscious" so that he could assess muscle control. Seeing how upset I was after failing both tests he kindly offered to do a free breast exam (who says doctors today just don't care?). With tears in his little beady eyes he told me that yes, what I had suspected was true. I did indeed have vasculitis. After asking me to spell it for him, he completed the forms that would be needed for the USFSOC to allow me to compete while taking prednisone. Yes, I was almost home free! After having a few drinks with me so that I could collect myself he wrote the prescription. Not only did he give me unlimited refills he also referred me to a pharmacist friend of a friend who also worked out of his home and kept late night hours. "Don't be alarmed" he said,"It just looks like a meth lab". Armed with a lifetime supply of prednisone as well as some complimentary special "vitamens", and the support of Team "Gold for Shelly" everything was in place. By faking a groin pull I was able to avoid Nationals and get a medical bye for the Olympics. I pulled off the test skate. BTW the committee from USFSOC loved the "goody bags" of cash Mathman presented to them after the test.skate. And now, it's all over. I have been exposed. The dream is gone
. JanJam and Havanamesa1 I hope you can live with yourselves.
I would only use any poll they have to demonstrate evidence of what is the wrong opinion, sort of like how Marie-Le Gougne would judge a skating event.
