Crazy Future Predictions

[Pamigena]

Anonymous judging will be abolished. Instead the scores are now determined by the audience at the rink. Everyone gets an electronic vote-thingy underneath their seat. After each competition one lucky fan wins a free hug from their favorite skater. After the SP the networks may find that the audience is stupid, then the scores are determined by televoters. (No free hugs for them.) Banks discover this as a gap in the market and offer special loans to the truly insane fans who can't pay their phone bills anymore.
The ISU introduces a new rule (informally know as the Pooh Prevention Policy) saying that every skater who gets too many plushies thrown on the ice will be fined for the inconvenience. Fans now start throwing plushies with money attached to them. Banks will also offer special loans for that.

 

[Tanka]

Yuzu switches to golf full time.

-- Yuzu's decision to switch to golf full time will provoke Patrick Chan to cancel his comeback plans and try to beat Yuzuru at the Masters tournament or, if nothing else, his ability to wear his extensive golf shirt collection.

This site is renamed to goldenbrassie.com

 

[Pamigena]

This site is renamed to goldenbrassie.com

This joke is really irritating for someone who doesn't know what "brassie" means and instead looks up the spelling of "brassiere" (note to self: first google, then dictionary )

 

[Layback11]

Anonymous judging will be abolished. Instead the scores are now determined by the audience at the rink. Everyone gets an electronic vote-thingy underneath their seat. After each competition one lucky fan wins a free hug from their favorite skater. After the SP the networks may find that the audience is stupid, then the scores are determined by televoters. (No free hugs for them.) Banks discover this as a gap in the market and offer special loans to the truly insane fans who can't pay their phone bills anymore.
The ISU introduces a new rule (informally know as the Pooh Prevention Policy) saying that every skater who gets too many plushies thrown on the ice will be fined for the inconvenience. Fans now start throwing plushies with money attached to them. Banks will also offer special loans for that.

I LOVE IT!! Ha! We need to do this!

Although that might be a problem because nobody in the audience is most likely going to be trained enough to choose objectively. Half of them can't even identify the elements, but wuteva! Anything for a laugh!

 

[karne]

I believe I underestimated the number of marriage proposals Josh would end up with in last year's version of this thread

Hmm...

Max's National title leads to a revolution in men's skating, involving short hair, really tight pants, and a lot of Swan Lake. The ISU is confused by the sudden increase in viewing from the female demographic.

Josh announces that he is quitting skating to go be the new member of One Direction.

Liza wears her current ex dress in the short program next year, and during Euros, suffers an inevitable wardrobe malfunction. The resultant Youtube video achieves 2.7 million views in a day, and leads to sponsorship deals from dressmakers. Hollywood, realising that she is even more beautiful than Liz Taylor, offers her a multitude of scripts to choose from.



And, on a sadly more serious note, Jason and Max band together to try and get rid of their creepy stalkers, who are working together to try and get their objects' attention.

 

[cheerknithanson]

I believe I underestimated the number of marriage proposals Josh would end up with in last year's version of this thread

Josh announces that he is quitting skating to go be the new member of One Direction.

Too soon......

 

[Sandpiper]

Evan Lysacek returns to competition-WEARING A BEDAZZLED PURPLE MUUMUU (which he probably bought from Liza)!!!

Ouch, sounds like Evan's really running low on funds. But the real question is, how on earth will 1.88m Evan fit into 1.57m Liza's costume?

Also, alternative costume poaching: Misha Ge, running low on funding, raids Maxim Kovtun's closet and skates to Spiderman. The program is a big hit with audiences and judges everywhere. :dance:

2. Yuzuru and Patrick duke it out at every golf tournament they can get into until they're senior citizens, then becoming co-commentators at the 2050-something Olympics, by which time sextuple axels are being regularly landed. :dance:

And 100% bionic 70-something Plushenko will be one of the competitors there.

 

[Layback11]

K

Ouch, sounds like Evan's really running low on funds. But the real question is, how on earth will 1.88m Evan fit into 1.57m Liza's costume?

Also, alternative costume poaching: Misha Ge, running low on funding, raids Maxim Kovtun's closet and skates to Spiderman. The program is a big hit with audiences and judges everywhere. :dance:


And 100% bionic 70-something Plushenko will be one of the competitors there.

On the height thing: logistics have been ignored. But of course, Misha can skate to SpiderMan!

 

[4everchan]

peace on earth

 

[Layback11]

More:

Yuzuru Hanyu, continuing on the POTO tangent, makes it a quest to skate to every major warhorse in the 14-18 quad. He chooses different selections of Carmen for both short program and free skate in 2016, adding to his list with Swan Lake and Bolero in 2017, and rounding out the quad with a Scheherazade short and a dramatic Olympic-style-last-hurrah with his Les Mis free (of course, adding in an exhibition to selections from the Winnie the Pooh soundtrack, because why not? ) He is soon followed by every other internationally-competetive Japanese man and the field is utterly choked with Carmen.

The ISU, in an attempt to drum up interest in skating, holds a contest in which young athletes from all over the world are given a chance to win the ultimate skating prize: a pool party with the top five skaters that year in each discipline. One from each continent with at least one ISU member nation will get to attend, and they are selected based on a skating-related written work they must submit, be it a story, poem or essay. Crazy shenanigans ensue there and, conversely, so does chaos on GS, generated by the 18+ members who will stop at nothing to get into that party...

Sick of all the warhorses drummed up by Yuzuru's four-year plan, the Japanese Skating Federation bans Carmen, POTO, and pretty much every other warhorse out there in an attempt to get more variety. In an ironic twist we all saw coming, they create new warhorses, and suddenly men skating to The Nutcracker is THE fad of the quad.

A new kind of skating is ushered in when a skater uses a live sheep as a prop in her Olympic exhibition.

 

[Amei]

Joshua and Julia get engaged and Schindlers List is retired from ISU competition like an old hockey legends jersey.

I got 1 better: Joshua and Yulia affectionately referred to as Joslia become pairs figure skaters and skate to Schindler's List.

 

[MaxSwagg]

I got 1 better: Joshua and Yulia affectionately referred to as Joslia become pairs figure skaters and skate to Schindler's List.

But she's doing dance or pairs with Yuzu? So this is going to a love triangle?

 

[alia jackson]

Yuzu switches to golf full time. By coincidence all golfing forums not accustomed to large amounts fan girling and constant Internet posting crash forcing the PGA to be bought out by Google to meet the demand brought on by Yuzu's faithful fans.

And following the appearance in Twitter annual report 2014, Yuzu will be featured in future Google, Twitter and Tumblr annual reports .

But she's doing dance or pairs with Yuzu? So this is going to a love triangle?

After the whirlwind romance, Yulia realised Yuzu has his eyes on someone else. Yuzu said goodbye my girl in red .

Javi finally propose to Yuzu, and they will compete as ice pair and do crazy side by side 5T, 5S, 5Lo, 5F, 5Lz, 5A

 

[EdgeCall]

Javi finally propose to Yuzu[/URL], and they will compete as ice pair and do crazy side by side 5T, 5S, 5Lo, 5F, 5Lz, 5A

Continuing: ISU rewards them zero points because quintuples are not listed jumps. JaviYuzu sue ISU to reverse the decision and also to officially allow same-sex pairs in the competitions. Weir sues JaviYuzu for copyright infringement.

ISU passes new regulation that the skaters starting in mens and ladies are the only ones eligible for pairs. The side-by-side 3Lz becomes common standard in pairs and the lift the most dreaded element.

-or- The top eight Nations in the world receive three spots in all disciplines, but the 18 athletes must also do a redefined sync competition.

The long program is extended by a mandatory element: a somersault jump. Liza/Mishin respond by performing the first somersault 3A. Somersault quads become the new holy grail in men's skating. Two years later protective helmets become mandatory. Shortly after figure skating is suddenly considered "cool" and becomes a popular trend sport.

 

[cheerknithanson]

Javi finally propose to Yuzu, and they will compete as ice pair and do crazy side by side 5T, 5S, 5Lo, 5F, 5Lz, 5A

This is sort of like the "Larry" for figure skating. (If you don't know what "Larry" means, then google "Larry One Direction.")

 

[pohatta]

Lipnitskaya comes back with a new move: biellmann twizzle. She beats Liza at worlds by 0.01.

 

[whatif]

An American lady wins Olympic gold medal.

 

[EdgeCall]

An American lady wins Olympic gold medal.

A Canadian man wins Olympic gold medal.


Okay, this is too far fetched. :

 

[apgold]

This thread is hilarious - you guys are funny and creative

I have one - Jason Brown shaves his head and donates his ponytail to Locks of Love.

 

[cheerknithanson]

This thread is hilarious - you guys are funny and creative

I have one - Jason Brown shaves his head and donates his ponytail to Locks of Love.

No!!!! That's too horrible to imagine!