OutofShapeWorthlessLoser: Gracie Gold

[TallyT]

No, she was not, but look at someone like Alysa Liu. She retired at 16, did she not?

She did. But my

Or ever need to, to be fair.

was not about skaters in general, nor about minors (I am not even sure why they were raised) but about Gracie's finances, in a reply to the statement that we the public may never know. As is quite right unless Gracie, an adult at the time, chooses to say and which, in her book, she doesn't.

 

[NanaPat]

Don’t they normally advertise it though? As you said Roman has mentioned it a couple of times.

He mentioned it in passing in the videos on his youtube channel. Both times it was in context and I don't recall if he even mentioned the name of the company that supplies the skates.

The first time I recall was when he did a video on how he adjusts his blades on new skates. With a temporary mount, he goes to the rink with a screw driver in hand. He then does specific jumps, repeatedly adjusting the blade until it feels "just right"! I believe when he was satisfied he then took the skates back to the technician to have the rest of the screws put in.

He also mentioned it in his recent video about the competition his missed because of his lost/misplaced luggage. When his air tag told him his bag was in Munich, he went back there to locate it. He mentioned that he really didn't want to have to get new skates, even though he wouldn't have to pay for them.

 

[Magill]

Here is Gracie talking to her editor about the book on IG live with the interview put on their YouTube channel later. I thought it could be interesting to some people here but have not seen it linked here yet.
Kudos to Gracie for her honesty and courage to speak up which is never easy but which made it into a truly important book whose impact will surely reach well beyond her fans, however numerous they may be.

Instagram Live with Gracie Gold

Gracie Gold had a conversation with her editor to talk about her memoir, Outofshapeworthlessloser. Learn more about the book at the link.https://www.penguinr...

www.youtube.com

 

[noskates]

I think this whole "protect our kids" discussion is really off topic in the context of Gracie's life. She had demons at home, she had demons at the rink, she had demons with all the expectations put on her fostered by the media, etc. etc. Basically from what I gathered from reading her book, Gracie was fragile to start with and all the outside noise just exacerbated that. I still go back to her parents - especially her mother - in that she/they should have realized what their daughter was going through. But Mom was wrapped up in her own problems and Dad had his as well. That was before Frank was even on the scene. I'm not absolving him from total blame but the dye was already cast when she moved to his coaching. This was a very sad and very bad situation and there were many checkpoints in her life and career where someone could have stepped in and addressed the "elephant in the room!" Where would you have initiated a "protect the child" here? When she was 10? 17? 20? I just think Gracie's problems and issues were long-standing and there was no easy answer to them.

 

[Mathman]

We have no reason to doubt that Gracie's parents wanted the best for her, as did her coaches and well-wishers in general.

As for "protect the child," I think that there is no magic switch that is thrown on a person's 18th birthday. You are still the same person as you were the day before, you have the same strengths and the same insecurities and are in the same need of a sympathetic and reliable support system.

 

[el henry]

The situation with Frank shows that "Send that skater to Coach X!" is not always the best move, no matter how wonderful, fantastic, and how much success Coach X might have. Frank was the "Send them to Raf!" of his day. USFS wanted Graice and Frank together.

But Skater A and Coach X need to be right for each other, and Gracie and Frank weren't. After living through Christopher Bowman and his (severe) drug addiction, it was "never again" for emotional investment for Frank.

Gracie needed more and Frank was not equipped to give more. Good matches need more than technical skill.

 

[moonvine]

I am more worried it affected her healing. I get the venting may help But she hasn't been away even for say a year.

Not sure how you define been away. She's been in CS rehabbing an injury. Before that I hear she looked fantastic.

 

[noskates]

I guess I read a different book! (she says, tongue in cheek!) I came away with the feeling that everybody wanted something from Gracie based on their own needs. It didn't appear to me that anyone took a good look at her to see what she wanted or needed with the exception of John Coughlin. But at this point in the thread we're all beating a dead horse. It is what it is and thankfully it appears that Gracie is moving on and living her own life the best way she can. I'm sure writing this book was cathartic for her. Again I hope someone benefits from her experience and takes the necessary steps to become whole and happy.

 

[meem]

I guess I read a different book! (she says, tongue in cheek!) I came away with the feeling that everybody wanted something from Gracie based on their own needs. It didn't appear to me that anyone took a good look at her to see what she wanted or needed with the exception of John Coughlin. But at this point in the thread we're all beating a dead horse. It is what it is and thankfully it appears that Gracie is moving on and living her own life the best way she can. I'm sure writing this book was cathartic for her. Again I hope someone benefits from her experience and takes the necessary steps to become whole and happy.

 

[meem]

I guess I read a different book! (she says, tongue in cheek!) I came away with the feeling that everybody wanted something from Gracie based on their own needs. It didn't appear to me that anyone took a good look at her to see what she wanted or needed with the exception of John Coughlin. But at this point in the thread we're all beating a dead horse. It is what it is and thankfully it appears that Gracie is moving on and living her own life the best way she can. I'm sure writing this book was cathartic for her. Again I hope someone benefits from her experience and takes the necessary steps to become whole and happy.

I'm finding the comments, re: John Coughlin helping Gracie, quite interesting. Maybe because I keep expecting bad info' to be added (only because of his predatory conduct around young female skaters). Ashley also noticed something was not right about Gracie and went to TPTB in the skating world. Just ordered the book on Kindle and looking forward to reading it.

 

[icewhite]

I know people can have different sides and be different towards different people, but I'd doubt the wholeheartedly good intentions of Coughlin. Many predators act as supporters of people who are failed by their environment... until they fail them the most.

 

[jenaj]

The situation with Frank shows that "Send that skater to Coach X!" is not always the best move, no matter how wonderful, fantastic, and how much success Coach X might have. Frank was the "Send them to Raf!" of his day. USFS wanted Graice and Frank together.

But Skater A and Coach X need to be right for each other, and Gracie and Frank weren't. After living through Christopher Bowman and his (severe) drug addiction, it was "never again" for emotional investment for Frank.

Gracie needed more and Frank was not equipped to give more. Good matches need more than technical skill.

I don't think anyone had any reason at the time to think that Frank would not be good for Gracie. In fact, career-wise, he was good for her. She did well as his student up until Worlds 2016. After her extreme feelings of disappointment at not being on the podium at Worlds, her personal problems started to take over--things Frank didn't know about and that Gracie did not tell him, or anyone. I don't think any coach could have given Gracie what she needed. Frank, by the way, did put her in touch with a sports psychologist, who referred her to a clinical psychologist, but Gracie at the time was not ready to open up and only went a few times.

 

[TallyT]

I came away with the feeling that everybody wanted something from Gracie based on their own needs. It didn't appear to me that anyone took a good look at her to see what she wanted or needed with the exception of John Coughlin.

I think we have to remember that every memory anyone tells is always subjective, is their own version of events by its very nature. I am not for one minute saying that Gracie is not being as absolutely honest as she can, she clearly is, but we cannot see except through our own eyes and mind. I remember a memoir writer who openly admitted that some of the actual events in hers, she remembered them clearly but her mother is quite certain she wasn't even there and her sister couldn't recall. So she told them anyway because they were her truth. This is Gracie's truth, but not Frank's or her parents' or the truth.

It is what it is and thankfully it appears that Gracie is moving on and living her own life the best way she can.

Absolutely, we all hope that for her.

I know people can have different sides and be different towards different people, but I'd doubt the wholeheartedly good intentions of Coughlin. Many predators act as supporters of people who are failed by their environment... until they fail them the most.

Have to admit, the tangle of human frailty between Gracie, Coughlin her friend and Ashley Coughlin's victim and Gracie's rival who tried to help her is... quite something.

 

[JeanA]

Have to admit, the tangle of human frailty between Gracie, Coughlin her friend and Ashley Coughlin's victim and Gracie's rival who tried to help her is... quite something.

I agree. I am so happy that Ashley reached out to Gracie and encouraged her to get the help she desperately needed, but it would have been better if someone other than Gracie's main rival was the one to do it. One could potentially see it as Ashley making a clearer path to the Olympic team for herself by encouraging Gracie to quit the sport for the season, which is unfair to Ashley, so it's a shame someone else didn't step up to help. Sadly even with Gracie out of the equation for the Olympics, Ashley still didn't even make the Olympic team anyway. It's a shame Gracie didn't have any close friends to help start her healing process, and had to depend on her main rival who Gracie admits she doesn't particularly care for to do it for them. And the Coughlin dynamic just makes it all the murkier. Was Carly not around anymore at that time? I remember she made Nationals one year but I don't remember if she left the sport at that time and possibly moved back home so couldn't be around Gracie.

 

[ptvvibezz]

I remember she made Nationals one year but I don't remember if she left the sport at that time and possibly moved back home so couldn't be around Gracie.

IIRC she retired after the 2015-16 season and went to college the next fall

 

[melsh]

Gracie looks very beautiful. And her book is interesting.

 

[DLong]

The title is so disturbing. I can't imagine thinking so little of myself. I don't think I can read this book. Instead I'm going to wait for the sequel hopefully titled, "Happy and Fulfilled". I wish Gracie all the very best!!

 

[Mathman]

I haven't read the actual boopk yet, but from the comments on this thread about the John Coughlin situation, it just seems all so... human. A person that you admire and are friends with is accused of doing something terrible. Gracie is not the only one who needed to sort out her thoughts aboiut the situation. Did he really do it? Was Coughlin a criminal predator, or maybe he just "tried it on" once with Ashley Wagner, she said no and that was that. Was Caydee Denney a victim or was it a consentual fling. Coughlin paid for his trangressions with his life. A lot to process if Coughlin was your friend.

 

[TallyT]

Was Coughlin a criminal predator, or maybe he just "tried it on" once with Ashley Wagner, she said no and that was that.

Errr, I think given the number of victims Safesport was dealing with, that's not gonna fly. He was a serial predator. I'm assuming you are here channelling what people like Gracie may have felt at the time, though. And - I say this as someone who watched a relative deal with an accused predator in her own family which tore it apart (and after 40 years it is still unhealed) - it is hard and very very hurtful to admit that you still like/care for someone who turns out to be bad. Look at every murder case where the accused person's family are forever lost in denial. I am still furious at the people in US skating who attacked Safesport and the victims and used competitions as a platform, but with Gracie (who as far as I know, played no part in that) it is probably more a matter of you can't turn your heart on and off. Even when you wish you could.

 

[skylark]

I agree. I am so happy that Ashley reached out to Gracie and encouraged her to get the help she desperately needed, but it would have been better if someone other than Gracie's main rival was the one to do it. One could potentially see it as Ashley making a clearer path to the Olympic team for herself by encouraging Gracie to quit the sport for the season, which is unfair to Ashley,

Unfair? It's quite a lot more than unfair to Ashley. It's a complete fabrication. To anyone who's followed Ashley, we know that that would have been completely out of character. Many, many people dislike Ashley, but it's widely recognized that she steps up and speaks when she feels something isn't right.

And... it would have been better if someone else did it? But no one did. Whether USFS helped Gracie then or later, at least Ashley cared enough to alert someone of what was scaring her about Gracie's demeanor and behavior.