Random Confessions | Page 184 | Golden Skate

Random Confessions

Somewhat a rant. Because I have to let it out somewhere instead of combustion internally as I usually do (hence my issues).
Yesterday my younger sister gave me & my mom the biggest life scare probably ever, at least I've never experienced something similar iirc. My mom was supposed to ring her up as a form of get up alarm before 7AM as she had to go to the office for work at 8 (which I find dumb if you ask me, there are other ways and means to get yourself up without bothering others, but it's just me). My mom tries to do it for almost an hour, no response, then she calls me, of course in the middle of crying jag already and worst scenarios about my sister not picking up. I try to call her, no response either. So we are trying to contact her - mind you that she didn't give me or my mom any emergency contact, despite my mom repeatedly urging her to do it (she lives alone, but imho a contact to some neighbor or her landlord would be okay). There goes 9.30AM, still nothing. My mom in shambles and she us supposed to depart for work that day (already considering pulling out of it).
I try to contact her workplace to check if she's there and maybe there's some issue with phones/network (because, ofc, she didn't give us any work contact either...). I somehow managed to call her co-worker and they confirmed my sister is not in the office, nor logged from home either.
So, the last resort - we called cops on her to possibly send an unit to check on her.
She was asleep.
...
I still refuse to take her calls. Because I refuse to cut her slack over her absolute lack of self-awareness, responsibility and self-managenent. She's 26.
The other thing is also about my mom already making her into victim, the poor one in this situation, which I refuse to do. Yes, apparently some medication she takes could cause sleep being this deep (as she had medical consultation after cops' intervention), but...her utter lack of self-observing, reacting upon symptoms makes me MAD.
And mind you - if I pulled something like this, my mom wouldn't have this much of mercy. Meanwhile I'm calling her always when I'm abroad or taking her calls. Always letting her know via message if I'm busy or eg at the dentist and won't be able to take the call etc. Yet I'm always the one who misbehaves.
It just struck me again that my sisters will always win and I just can't win for losing at this point.
Yes, I'm bitter. I haven't had rebellious period or 'wild oats' one, because I couldn't afford to have it. Yet my sisters are acting up regardless of age and nothing changes. Only I am discerned. That goodness I've learned to not take my mom's berating to the heart.
 
This week, after 2 months of stalling/excuses/laziness or just my mind refusing to pick up crafting despite travelling plans and will to gift skaters, I've started cut crepe paper again. And tonight just made first 36 flowes for one crown.
And all of this helped me to realize few things.
First, that my inner fear of change/unknown spreads onto my habits. It makes me slower to pick up things that bring some sense of routine, those with enjoyment or just routine acts of daily life. And it stinks, massively. It also spreads onto my indecisiveness about taking some risk/chances or opportunities in life.
Next, despite being in rather hate phase of relationship with skating as an organised form of sport, crafting tasks and schedule really made a difference after picking it up again. I'm in quite deep hole with myself, work-wise and life-wise, but those silly tasks of cutting crepe paper, putting colour palletes together, making flowers made my daily life more organised. And improved in terms of my mood. I'm into some kind of schedule and I have a target that is about showing appreciation of hardworking people. And it starts to charge me in a way I find a bit surprising.

I'm a hater of word and notion term 'romanticising' your life brings to me. I guess some would take the above as such, but...this week so far showed me that it is worth to put efforts in acts of improvement that will indeed bring something positive and recharging into your life. And that it doesn't have to be revolutionary, costly, high-end or over-aestheticised just for the sole look or it.
It could be about believing that adding some structure and purpose could make a difference, day by day, even silently and out of public view.

Thank you for coming to my Beatrice Talk. Let's hope I can keep it u and then bring some smiles in Budapest and Gdańsk.

20230830_233407.jpg
 
This week, after 2 months of stalling/excuses/laziness or just my mind refusing to pick up crafting despite travelling plans and will to gift skaters, I've started cut crepe paper again. And tonight just made first 36 flowes for one crown.
And all of this helped me to realize few things.
First, that my inner fear of change/unknown spreads onto my habits. It makes me slower to pick up things that bring some sense of routine, those with enjoyment or just routine acts of daily life. And it stinks, massively. It also spreads onto my indecisiveness about taking some risk/chances or opportunities in life.
Next, despite being in rather hate phase of relationship with skating as an organised form of sport, crafting tasks and schedule really made a difference after picking it up again. I'm in quite deep hole with myself, work-wise and life-wise, but those silly tasks of cutting crepe paper, putting colour palletes together, making flowers made my daily life more organised. And improved in terms of my mood. I'm into some kind of schedule and I have a target that is about showing appreciation of hardworking people. And it starts to charge me in a way I find a bit surprising.

I'm a hater of word and notion term 'romanticising' your life brings to me. I guess some would take the above as such, but...this week so far showed me that it is worth to put efforts in acts of improvement that will indeed bring something positive and recharging into your life. And that it doesn't have to be revolutionary, costly, high-end or over-aestheticised just for the sole look or it.
It could be about believing that adding some structure and purpose could make a difference, day by day, even silently and out of public view.

Thank you for coming to my Beatrice Talk. Let's hope I can keep it u and then bring some smiles in Budapest and Gdańsk.

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Sorry if this is a trivial reply to your serious post, but is there a video somewhere on YouTube showing how to make those gorgeous flowers? An instruction booklet?
 
It's the first weekend a rink nearby opens again after summer and instead of going there and enjoying it (I love how empty the rinks here are in early autumn...) I am dealing with a nasty cold. :tantrum:
Nooo that sucks!

I sympathise, I've been wanting to go to my closest ice rink and was totally planning to do it this Saturday, queue doing something to my back and not been able to. Booo I went up to the Blue Mountains a few weeks back to a hotel with an ice rink on the premises and even had some lessons, I wanted to put what I learned to use.

Grumble grumble.
 
Just peeked at GPF predictions thread and...well, mine will SURELY feel outlandish once I post them. Ice Dance In particular (I might do it last minute though once tech panels are posted lol).
 
I tried to create an AI pic of a figure skater with text prompts and it was always quite fine except for... the skates. That program is unable to come up with figure skates that actually have a real blade. 😭 At best it's a kind of hockey skates, but often half of the blades are just missing or it's kind of a... two storey blade. :rofl:
 
I tried to create an AI pic of a figure skater with text prompts and it was always quite fine except for... the skates. That program is unable to come up with figure skates that actually have a real blade. 😭 At best it's a kind of hockey skates, but often half of the blades are just missing or it's kind of a... two storey blade. :rofl:
AI also massive trouble drawing normal looking hands. Did you get that problem too? Or did it learn by now?
 
AI also massive trouble drawing normal looking hands. Did you get that problem too? Or did it learn by now?

I tried Leonardo. When I chose the best version (with highest solution and most care to detail) the hands were alright. I only did it for fun so far and chose the free version, which does not include many tries of that per day. When I chose a worse version, the pictures looked generally awkward and especially the faces were... distorted.

Oh, but I can relate to the AI problems, I always find drawing normal looking hands very hard, too. :LOL:
 
If anyone tries to convince me to move somewhere that has no winter weather, I'll ask "How is that a good thing?" Because to me, colder weather gives me peace. A sense of nothing bad is going to happen. Whereas summer, I feel total chaos because of the heat and all those bugs...I don't want warm weather all-year round. Sweater weather for the win.
 
If anyone tries to convince me to move somewhere that has no winter weather, I'll ask "How is that a good thing?" Because to me, colder weather gives me peace. A sense of nothing bad is going to happen. Whereas summer, I feel total chaos because of the heat and all those bugs...I don't want warm weather all-year round. Sweater weather for the win.
Agreed! But with me it's a physical thing. Heat intolerance in general. Sun-sensitive skin. There are practical reasons why my sport is skating, always indoors. We seldom get snow in the Vancouver area (cue baffled tourists arriving for the 2010 Olympics and finding themselves overdressed and wet from the rain), but I love it when we do, when the whole world has the silence and untouched serenity of an empty arena and a blank sheet of white ice. Love bundling up in sweaters, scarves, mittens, knee socks.......
 
Agreed! But with me it's a physical thing. Heat intolerance in general. Sun-sensitive skin. There are practical reasons why my sport is skating, always indoors. We seldom get snow in the Vancouver area (cue baffled tourists arriving for the 2010 Olympics and finding themselves overdressed and wet from the rain), but I love it when we do, when the whole world has the silence and untouched serenity of an empty arena and a blank sheet of white ice. Love bundling up in sweaters, scarves, mittens, knee socks.......
I'm definitely sun sensitive in the summer as well. I have to wear swim shirts/those cute little sun covers or else I'll burn. I mean don't get me wrong, I do like to kayak (Though it's been years) and watch baseball, but I rather be walking 30 minutes-1 hour when it's cold outside than when it's hot. My body handles it better.

I went to Vancouver last months with my husband and it was wonderful. We went to Whistler, which that was chillier since it was in the mountains, but it was still a bit colder up in Vancouver than where I am. And yup. It rained on and off in both places. Also Granville Island is wonderful. I loved the market that's there. A white blanket of snow makes me so...happy. At peace. Nothing else matters.
 
My boyfriend: "I have an awesome idea! What if you combined figure skating with miming!"
Me: "People already do that."
Him: "Really?"

Does anyone have any programs with prominent miming they recall? I can't think of any to send over. (I vaguely remember someone's Amelie program?)
 
My boyfriend: "I have an awesome idea! What if you combined figure skating with miming!"
Me: "People already do that."
Him: "Really?"

Does anyone have any programs with prominent miming they recall? I can't think of any to send over. (I vaguely remember someone's Amelie program?)
 
There have been quite a few Charlie Chaplin programs, notably Berezhnaya and Sikharulidze in 2002. I suppose Kurt Browning's Casablanca and Singin' in the Rain programs might qualify as mime. Or several of Philippe Candeloro's. And Torvill and Dean's circus program, and that sports medley one by the American dancers whose names are on the tip of my tongue but not, unfortunately, my typing fingers. Mime has been pretty popular on the ice over the years.
 
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